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   Think those bells from the Salvation Army collectors are annoying? How about if they are rung by a miniature horse?

04 Dec 2012 11:04 AM   |   2875 clicks   |   Klamath Falls Herald and News
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Sybarite    [TotalFark]  
whitecliffpublishing.files.wordpress.com

04 Dec 2012 08:19 AM
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doglover    [TotalFark]  
Maybe then everyone will pony up more.

04 Dec 2012 09:02 AM
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Vodka Zombie     
I will never trust those miniature horses.

04 Dec 2012 09:42 AM
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LeilaK    [TotalFark]  
Who gives a tinker's damn.

04 Dec 2012 09:47 AM
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talulahgosh    [TotalFark]  
'lil sebastian!!

04 Dec 2012 10:29 AM
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mr_fulano     
The cuteness will smother me, then I will shoot it.

04 Dec 2012 11:04 AM
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Englebert Slaptyback     

How about if they are rung by a miniature horse?


Neigh.

04 Dec 2012 11:05 AM
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Rambino     
Meh - call me when they are rung by a miniature giraffe.

04 Dec 2012 11:06 AM
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boarch     
Animal slavery is animal cruelty.


//troll

04 Dec 2012 11:07 AM
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Arkanaut     
How about they just sell rides for kids?

04 Dec 2012 11:07 AM
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Wasilla Hillbilly     
I can't stand being harrassed as I'm trying to enter or exit a store. Yeah that's right, ringing a bell and saying innocuous holiday greetings is harrassment.

Seriously though, it pisses me.

04 Dec 2012 11:08 AM
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KiTTeNs_on_AciD     
Done in one.



....I still don't get it

04 Dec 2012 11:10 AM
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Holocaust Agnostic     
Salvation army hate thread?

04 Dec 2012 11:10 AM
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skankboy     
I don't think the bell ringers are annoying at all.

04 Dec 2012 11:10 AM
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cgraves67     
They ring bells because when they yell, they tend to get a little hoarse.

04 Dec 2012 11:12 AM
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SwiftFox     
If the other Salvation Army bell-ringing stations provided entertainment of some kind like that they would make 10 times as much too.

04 Dec 2012 11:12 AM
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Canton     
I wonder. Is this only the beginning of a Salvation Army Pony Brigade?

/Miniature horse = pony, dammit.

04 Dec 2012 11:13 AM
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oldfarthenry    [TotalFark]  
Hell, it's not as if you Quasimodo freaks were leaving your moms basements anyway. Why the hate for bells & Sally Ann?

04 Dec 2012 11:14 AM
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the801     
poor horse. 'hey see that cute animal over there? let's take it and subvert it for our selfish purposes. the rubes'll love it.'

04 Dec 2012 11:16 AM
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JohnAnnArbor    [TotalFark]  
Then it would be cute, of course.

04 Dec 2012 11:16 AM
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Wasilla Hillbilly     
*off

04 Dec 2012 11:16 AM
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KatjaMouse     
I've only ever given to Salvation Army once and that's because those guys earned that donation. They were in full Christmas Carol/Dickens style attire, one guy doing full blown BoJangles dancing and the other guy belting out holiday cheer to the point where it even penetrated my cold Grinchey heart which is 3 sizes too small around Christmas time. So I dropped $5 in their bucket.

That being said I would drop a buck or two again if there was an adorable mini-horse involved.

04 Dec 2012 11:19 AM
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cig-mkr     
They are better the the phony Salvation Army Bell ringers.
Link

04 Dec 2012 11:20 AM
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blatz514    [TotalFark]  
i.ytimg.com

04 Dec 2012 11:21 AM
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TheDirtyNacho     
bang-on-wholesale.com

04 Dec 2012 11:23 AM
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Kibbler     
No.

04 Dec 2012 11:23 AM
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semiotix    [TotalFark]  

the801: poor horse. 'hey see that cute animal over there? let's take it and subvert it for our selfish purposes. the rubes'll love it.'


I'm not one to stick up for the Salvation Army, but to be fair, that's basically the story of every human-animal interaction ever. (Also a good chunk of the human-human ones, too.)

I'm guessing the horse gets three hots and a cot out of it... unless he tries to fark another boy-horse.

04 Dec 2012 11:25 AM
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DarkSoulNoHope     

oldfarthenry: Hell, it's not as if you Quasimodo freaks were leaving your moms basements anyway. Why the hate for bells & Sally Ann?


It's called the "Salvation Army" and they're less keen these days, than they were about 10 - 30 years ago, on helping your destitute self if you're homosexual and/or not willing to submit to Christianity. Yes they're allowed to be that way as a Church, but I won't put any money into a pot that is used to build churches and shelters, used to attempt to convert fellow Jews and people of other faiths/non-faith to Christianity. Give me an organization that stands outside a supermarket that says "Secular - Help The Homeless/Hungry Campaign" (or a Jewish organization, since they don't push people to convert to Judaism, but making sure that organization doesn't *only* cater to Jews) and has documentation at their desk (that I could verify through the internet on my cell phone) that proves most of it goes to helping and the minimum needed used for administration costs, then i'll put my money in!

04 Dec 2012 11:25 AM
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Spartacus Outlaw     
Why is the name "Tinker" so appropriate? Is it because of the kettle?
I never give to the Salvos because of religion. I also tell the boy scouts no way when they ask me to buy their popcorn.
I like secular, non-discriminatory charities, although I realise no-one really cares what I think.

04 Dec 2012 11:27 AM
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stupiddream     
No sir, I don't like it.

04 Dec 2012 11:28 AM
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WelldeadLink     

Spartacus Outlaw: Why is the name "Tinker" so appropriate? Is it because of the kettle?


Only if it repairs kettles.

04 Dec 2012 11:33 AM
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neutronstar     

Spartacus Outlaw: Why is the name "Tinker" so appropriate? Is it because of the kettle?
I never give to the Salvos because of religion. I also tell the boy scouts no way when they ask me to buy their popcorn.
I like secular, non-discriminatory charities, although I realise no-one really cares what I think.


Tinker - Bell.

04 Dec 2012 11:33 AM
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oldfarthenry    [TotalFark]  

DarkSoulNoHope: oldfarthenry: Hell, it's not as if you Quasimodo freaks were leaving your moms basements anyway. Why the hate for bells & Sally Ann?

It's called the "Salvation Army" and they're less keen these days, than they were about 10 - 30 years ago, on helping your destitute self if you're homosexual and/or not willing to submit to Christianity. Yes they're allowed to be that way as a Church, but I won't put any money into a pot that is used to build churches and shelters, used to attempt to convert fellow Jews and people of other faiths/non-faith to Christianity. Give me an organization that stands outside a supermarket that says "Secular - Help The Homeless/Hungry Campaign" (or a Jewish organization, since they don't push people to convert to Judaism, but making sure that organization doesn't *only* cater to Jews) and has documentation at their desk (that I could verify through the internet on my cell phone) that proves most of it goes to helping and the minimum needed used for administration costs, then i'll put my money in!


Sounds like you're trying to disguise your cheap-ass narcissism in a layer of self-righteous indignation - but thanks for the lecture, Pontificus Von Assburger.

04 Dec 2012 11:36 AM
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brigid_fitch    [TotalFark]  

Spartacus Outlaw: Why is the name "Tinker" so appropriate? Is it because of the kettle?
I never give to the Salvos because of religion. I also tell the boy scouts no way when they ask me to buy their popcorn.
I like secular, non-discriminatory charities, although I realise no-one really cares what I think.


I figured Tinker was appropriate because of the book (Tinker's Christmas) or because of elves tinkering with toys.

I give to the Salvation Army even though I don't approve of their stance on homosexuality. They do amazingly good work in other areas and I did need their help when I was on my own and nearly homeless at age 18. But, unlike the Boy Scouts, they are clearly a church organization and don't pretend to be anything else. The Boy Scouts are supposed to be a non-secular organization. There's no reason for them to be discriminatory--they just choose to hate gays. If they declared themselves as having some sort of religious affiliation, I'd still disapprove, but at least they wouldn't be hypocrites about it.

04 Dec 2012 11:38 AM
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Millennium     

doglover: Maybe then everyone will pony up more.


Officer Bridle of the Saddlevation Army would like to have a word with you.

/concept art requested

04 Dec 2012 11:42 AM
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olapbill     

oldfarthenry: DarkSoulNoHope: oldfarthenry: Hell, it's not as if you Quasimodo freaks were leaving your moms basements anyway. Why the hate for bells & Sally Ann?

It's called the "Salvation Army" and they're less keen these days, than they were about 10 - 30 years ago, on helping your destitute self if you're homosexual and/or not willing to submit to Christianity. Yes they're allowed to be that way as a Church, but I won't put any money into a pot that is used to build churches and shelters, used to attempt to convert fellow Jews and people of other faiths/non-faith to Christianity. Give me an organization that stands outside a supermarket that says "Secular - Help The Homeless/Hungry Campaign" (or a Jewish organization, since they don't push people to convert to Judaism, but making sure that organization doesn't *only* cater to Jews) and has documentation at their desk (that I could verify through the internet on my cell phone) that proves most of it goes to helping and the minimum needed used for administration costs, then i'll put my money in!

Sounds like you're trying to disguise your cheap-ass narcissism in a layer of self-righteous indignation - but thanks for the lecture, Pontificus Von Assburger.


nope, he's got a valid point. I'll slip in a toonie, but for legitimate "holiday giving" I like to put my money where it does the most good.
// Gstrings at the Silver Dollar.

04 Dec 2012 11:44 AM
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Marquis de Sod     

oldfarthenry: DarkSoulNoHope: oldfarthenry: Hell, it's not as if you Quasimodo freaks were leaving your moms basements anyway. Why the hate for bells & Sally Ann?

It's called the "Salvation Army" and they're less keen these days, than they were about 10 - 30 years ago, on helping your destitute self if you're homosexual and/or not willing to submit to Christianity. Yes they're allowed to be that way as a Church, but I won't put any money into a pot that is used to build churches and shelters, used to attempt to convert fellow Jews and people of other faiths/non-faith to Christianity. Give me an organization that stands outside a supermarket that says "Secular - Help The Homeless/Hungry Campaign" (or a Jewish organization, since they don't push people to convert to Judaism, but making sure that organization doesn't *only* cater to Jews) and has documentation at their desk (that I could verify through the internet on my cell phone) that proves most of it goes to helping and the minimum needed used for administration costs, then i'll put my money in!

Sounds like you're trying to disguise your cheap-ass narcissism in a layer of self-righteous indignation - but thanks for the lecture, Pontificus Von Assburger.


We get it, you're closeted

04 Dec 2012 11:45 AM
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child_god     

04 Dec 2012 11:45 AM
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Jim.Casy     

Holocaust Agnostic: Salvation army hate thread?


I'm so glad that the Salvation Army is anti-gay rights. Now I can ignore those bell ringers, and feel morally superior about doing so.

04 Dec 2012 11:47 AM
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Cold_Sassy     
Awwwwwwwww...

I bet you could teach dogs to do that pretty easily too.

04 Dec 2012 11:53 AM
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BarkingUnicorn    [TotalFark]  

DarkSoulNoHope: oldfarthenry: Hell, it's not as if you Quasimodo freaks were leaving your moms basements anyway. Why the hate for bells & Sally Ann?

It's called the "Salvation Army" and they're less keen these days, than they were about 10 - 30 years ago, on helping your destitute self if you're homosexual and/or not willing to submit to Christianity. Yes they're allowed to be that way as a Church, but I won't put any money into a pot that is used to build churches and shelters, used to attempt to convert fellow Jews and people of other faiths/non-faith to Christianity. Give me an organization that stands outside a supermarket that says "Secular - Help The Homeless/Hungry Campaign" (or a Jewish organization, since they don't push people to convert to Judaism, but making sure that organization doesn't *only* cater to Jews) and has documentation at their desk (that I could verify through the internet on my cell phone) that proves most of it goes to helping and the minimum needed used for administration costs, then i'll put my money in!


Well, that's one way to save a buck.

Excuses are like assholes: everybody's got one and nobody wants to hear it.

04 Dec 2012 11:56 AM
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AppleOptionEsc     

oldfarthenry: DarkSoulNoHope: oldfarthenry: Hell, it's not as if you Quasimodo freaks were leaving your moms basements anyway. Why the hate for bells & Sally Ann?

It's called the "Salvation Army" and they're less keen these days, than they were about 10 - 30 years ago, on helping your destitute self if you're homosexual and/or not willing to submit to Christianity. Yes they're allowed to be that way as a Church, but I won't put any money into a pot that is used to build churches and shelters, used to attempt to convert fellow Jews and people of other faiths/non-faith to Christianity. Give me an organization that stands outside a supermarket that says "Secular - Help The Homeless/Hungry Campaign" (or a Jewish organization, since they don't push people to convert to Judaism, but making sure that organization doesn't *only* cater to Jews) and has documentation at their desk (that I could verify through the internet on my cell phone) that proves most of it goes to helping and the minimum needed used for administration costs, then i'll put my money in!

Sounds like you're trying to disguise your cheap-ass narcissism in a layer of self-righteous indignation - but thanks for the lecture, Pontificus Von Assburger.


8/10, would get trolled again. But this is getting stale. It's the third week of Bell Season. You gotta freshen up that routine. I'd hate to see you go the way of Hanson and tenpoundsofcheese.

04 Dec 2012 11:56 AM
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DarkSoulNoHope     

BarkingUnicorn: Excuses are like assholes: everybody's got one and nobody wants to hear it.


This is Fark - Why are you here?

04 Dec 2012 12:01 PM
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ThisKidsAlright     

Sybarite: [whitecliffpublishing.files.wordpress .com image 500x282]


done in 1

cgraves67: They ring bells because when they yell, they tend to get a little hoarse.


came for this too.

04 Dec 2012 12:08 PM
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The My Little Pony Killer     
Nope, still obnoxious.

04 Dec 2012 12:13 PM
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The My Little Pony Killer     

Wasilla Hillbilly: I can't stand being harrassed as I'm trying to enter or exit a store. Yeah that's right, ringing a bell and saying innocuous holiday greetings is harrassment.

Seriously though, it pisses me.


THIS. They're no different than bums asking me for change. At least I know the bums aren't organized bigots.

04 Dec 2012 12:14 PM
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The My Little Pony Killer     

oldfarthenry: Pontificus Von Assburger


I love when people provide their own farkies.

04 Dec 2012 12:16 PM
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WelldeadLink     

DarkSoulNoHope: BarkingUnicorn: Excuses are like assholes: everybody's got one and nobody wants to hear it.

This is Fark - Why are you here?


Because nobody wants to hear it, and we are nobody.

04 Dec 2012 12:20 PM
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give me doughnuts     
There are some sounds I find really annoying. Those bells are one of them. They don't make me feel the "spirit of the holidays", they make me want to make the noise go away by any means necessary.

04 Dec 2012 12:31 PM
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DarkSoulNoHope     

WelldeadLink: DarkSoulNoHope: BarkingUnicorn: Excuses are like assholes: everybody's got one and nobody wants to hear it.

This is Fark - Why are you here?

Because nobody wants to hear it, and we are nobody.


Well nice to meet you Mr Nobody. How many Nobodys do we got on this ship anyhow?! :)

04 Dec 2012 12:32 PM
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