(full site)
Fark.com

Try out our new mobile site!


Back To Main
   Court rules that Continental Airlines is nor responsible for employees taking a dildo from luggage, greasing it up, and taping it to the outside of the luggage

04 Dec 2012 10:53 AM   |   9952 clicks   |   Courthouse News Service
Showing 1-50 of 98 comments
Refresh Page 2
View Comments:
Tell Me How My Blog Tastes    [TotalFark]  
Nor the now.

04 Dec 2012 09:08 AM
Generation_D    [TotalFark]  
Looks like yet again the airlines have been effing with luggage.

// never check bags, they changed the rules a while back. you basically have no rights now.

04 Dec 2012 09:09 AM
Radak    [TotalFark]  
Well, as long as it was only a dildo.

04 Dec 2012 09:37 AM
gilgigamesh     
I guess the lesson here is bring your dildo as a carry-on.

04 Dec 2012 10:00 AM
UberDave    [TotalFark]  

gilgigamesh: I guess the lesson here is bring your dildo as a carry-on.



Or you could always rent one at your destination.

04 Dec 2012 10:10 AM
abhorrent1     
Two gay men? Why do they need a dildo? Don't they have penises?

04 Dec 2012 10:55 AM
Lemmy Kilmister     
why do 2 dudes need a dildo? they already have the equipment.

unless it's not working, i guess?

04 Dec 2012 10:55 AM
orbister     
FTFA: Borger and Bridgeman were unable to circumvent the treaty to find relief, according to the four-page order.

I'm sure they will be able to find relief in some other way.

04 Dec 2012 10:56 AM
FatherChaos     
t2.gstatic.comView Full Size

04 Dec 2012 10:56 AM
ChipNASA     
www.cajunsupermarket.comView Full Size

04 Dec 2012 10:56 AM
BarkingUnicorn     

UberDave: gilgigamesh: I guess the lesson here is bring your dildo as a carry-on.


Or you could always rent one at your destination.


Or wear it while traveling.

04 Dec 2012 10:57 AM
Holocaust Agnostic     
Nice simulpenis.

04 Dec 2012 10:57 AM
darth_badger     
"They taped a dildo to my luggage!" is the proper thing to say. Never say "They took out my dildo, greased it up and taped it to my luggage."

04 Dec 2012 10:57 AM
ajgeek    [TotalFark]  

Radak: Well, as long as it was only a dildo.


Just remember it's "a" dildo, never "your" dildo.

04 Dec 2012 10:57 AM
ChipNASA     
" REMEMBER:
It is AN Dildo...not Her, His, It's, Their or Our Dildo. "

04 Dec 2012 10:58 AM
BarkingUnicorn     

abhorrent1: Two gay men? Why do they need a dildo? Don't they have penises?


Lemmy Kilmister: why do 2 dudes need a dildo? they already have the equipment.

unless it's not working, i guess?



You guys aren't into DP, I guess.

04 Dec 2012 10:58 AM
H31N0US     

abhorrent1: Two gay men? Why do they need a dildo? Don't they have penises?


I'm guessing so that the bottom could simultaneously top by proxy?

04 Dec 2012 10:59 AM
BitwiseShift     
Subby got away with it.

04 Dec 2012 11:00 AM
StRalphTheLiar     

UberDave: gilgigamesh: I guess the lesson here is bring your dildo as a carry-on.


Or you could always rent one at your destination.


Or just use the remote in the hotel room like everyone else.

04 Dec 2012 11:00 AM
dv-ous     

gilgigamesh: I guess the lesson here is bring your dildo as a carry-on.


Those get searched too.

Just ship it to the hotel ahead of time.

04 Dec 2012 11:01 AM
syberpud     

Generation_D: Looks like yet again the airlines have been effing with luggage.

// never check bags, they changed the rules a while back. you basically have no rights now.


Again? They never stopped the first time.

04 Dec 2012 11:01 AM
Nurglitch     
You might as well ask why anyone needs a dildo when they have their own hands.

04 Dec 2012 11:02 AM
Shadow Blasko     

ChipNASA: " REMEMBER:
It is AN Dildo...not Her, His, It's, Their or Our Dildo. "


Yeah, it kinda went without saying.

The joke has been made 5,592,871 times now.

04 Dec 2012 11:02 AM
Komplex     
This is incredibly disturbing ruling by the court, we expect the treaty mentioned to limit the liabilities of the airline carrier if they act in good faith. You are taking a 25~75lb package and moving it a couple of hundred/thousand miles, things will go wrong.

But if the allegations were true, a product of actual intentional vandalism. Would the airline be responsible if the employees planted drugs in the luggage?

04 Dec 2012 11:02 AM
JohnCarter     
Dildo - maybe they were heading there

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.comView Full Size

04 Dec 2012 11:02 AM
BronyMedic     
Dildo Dildo A roooney Roo!

04 Dec 2012 11:03 AM
NutWrench     

BarkingUnicorn: UberDave: gilgigamesh: I guess the lesson here is bring your dildo as a carry-on.


Or you could always rent one at your destination.

Or wear it while traveling.


Like on a World War 1 German helmet instead of a spike.
And you could run at people like a battering ram..

04 Dec 2012 11:03 AM
imnotadoctor     
It's more disturbing to me that Continental is using minors to handle luggage. Only a 12 year old would do something this stupid.

04 Dec 2012 11:04 AM
CygnusDarius     

Shadow Blasko: ChipNASA: " REMEMBER:
It is AN Dildo...not Her, His, It's, Their or Our Dildo. "

Yeah, it kinda went without saying.

The joke has been made 5,592,871 times now.


And yet it finds a way to be slightly funny.

04 Dec 2012 11:04 AM
twiztedjustin     

gilgigamesh: I guess the lesson here is bring your dildo as a carry-in.




Fixed that for you

04 Dec 2012 11:04 AM
Wasilla Hillbilly     
These people seem to have too much free time.

04 Dec 2012 11:05 AM
Day_Old_Dutchie     

JohnCarter: Dildo - maybe they were heading there

[encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 259x195]


I dunno...I'll take a Gander...

04 Dec 2012 11:06 AM
dr.zaeus     
I always love links from this site, because their favicon looks like the old icon I used for the first Windows 95 database program I developed.

04 Dec 2012 11:06 AM
Clemkadidlefark     
An attorney once explained to me that airlines Incorporate each aircraft as a corporate entity separate from the airline operating company; the parent focuses on Brand, Marketing, Customer Service, Ticketing etc. Operation of the physical airframe is a "leased-to" arrangement with the brand name. This limits the liability in case of an incident to the worth of the corporation's sole asset ... the airframe.

Crews are leased, as well as all "services" such as baggage handling, operating under a trade name agreement.

Continental wouldn't be liable. The baggage service leased rights to the brand name under a service agreement would be liable.

So, once again, Congress has made EVERYTHING a complete hash by structuring taxation and employing human beings the two greatest threats a business faces. Businesses keep finding ways to dodge the bullets Congress aims at their hearts. But in refusing to be made the bad guys so Congress has cover, American enterprises have taken radical and radically crazy steps to defend themselves against Congress.

Wanna be pissed?

Call up the 535 criminal morons who have clawed their way into the seats in Congress.

04 Dec 2012 11:08 AM
sepuku2     
I'm so glad these two were able to waste so much time and money embarrasing themselves over a dildo.

04 Dec 2012 11:09 AM
JackieRabbit     
Good call by the court. The linked photo clearly shows that the duffle's zipper was busted and that someone had tried to temporarily close it with tape. It was not their fault that the dildo was sitting on top and probably reeking of ass and anal lube. I wouldn't touch it either.

04 Dec 2012 11:09 AM
Snarfangel    [TotalFark]  
The Moving Phallus flies; and, having flit,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit,
Shall lure it back from Continental Airlines,
Nor all thy Tears wash out the Lubricant.
.

04 Dec 2012 11:10 AM
madgonad     
Not really sure how useful a dildo is to two gay men, but I imagine it can stand-in for a third penis.

Now my wife and I have never traveled with our (yes, OUR) Hitachi, but I can imagine that I would be pretty pissed off if my Pinch Hitter (that's what I call it) was defiled in such a way.

Or this could just be one of those fake mouse in a beer bottle scams

04 Dec 2012 11:12 AM
marleymaniac     
I hate it when my greasy dildo slips out. At least they were nice enough to tape it back on.

/detachable penis?

04 Dec 2012 11:14 AM
Wasilla Hillbilly     
How useful is a dildo to a hetero couple? Use your imagination people, damn.

04 Dec 2012 11:14 AM
busy chillin'    [TotalFark]  

abhorrent1: Two gay men? Why do they need a dildo? Don't they have penises?


yeah, but one of the guys is super tiny. nobody wants to f*ck with a super tiny dick.

04 Dec 2012 11:15 AM
snocone    [TotalFark]  
When dildoes are outlawed, only criminals will have dildoes.

04 Dec 2012 11:19 AM
Waldo Pepper     

ChipNASA: " REMEMBER:
It is AN Dildo...not Her, His, It's, Their or Our Dildo. "


better, Why did the luggage handler tape his own dildo to my luggage

04 Dec 2012 11:20 AM
tzzhc4     
I thought they couldnt imply ownership of a dildo?

04 Dec 2012 11:20 AM
macadamnut     

Clemkadidlefark:

So, once again, Congress has made EVERYTHING a complete hash by structuring taxation and employing human beings the two greatest threats a business faces. Businesses keep finding ways to dodge the bullets Congress aims at their hearts. But in refusing to be made the bad guys so Congress has cover, American enterprises have taken radical and radically crazy steps to defend themselves against Congress.

Wanna be pissed?

Call up the 535 criminal morons who have clawed their way into the seats in Congress.



Corporate America is so weak, they couldn't prevent even one of those 535 radical anti-business activists from getting elected?
Yeah, that seems legit.

Boy am I glad I'm an organic-citizen and not a corporate-citizen.

04 Dec 2012 11:22 AM
ChipNASA     
"This thread is worthless without....

cache.gizmodo.comView Full Size

1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size



/Take THAT TSA!!

04 Dec 2012 11:23 AM
SirDigbyChickenCaesar     
So now instead of the 20 or so people milling around the baggage carousel, now millions know that you take a gigantic purple dildo with you on vacation.

04 Dec 2012 11:24 AM
Skarekrough     
See, here's the deal....

Flying used to be a luxury thing. The cost wasn't dirt cheap but you got amenities. You didn't grab a cheap flight, it was something that cost more than what you would pony up for a weekend whim. You paid a premium and you got the premium service.

Then there was the collective decision that you wanted to get there as cheap as possible, and it became a race to the bottom. Less funds mean less or no amenities, less pay for the staff and eventually dildos taped to the outside of your luggage.

So, you did it to yourselves people. You collectively said you NEEDED to be all over the world at a moments notice and it was unreasonable to pay what it would take to get there comfortably and reasonably.

So, go pick up your dildo bag and come talk to me when you're willing to pay up.

04 Dec 2012 11:25 AM
cig-mkr     
What pisses me off is the fact that they went into someones luggage. What do the handlers do, pick out a random suitcase and check it out for shait? Never pack anything you aren't willing to lose. Hey the TSA made it easy for them by not allowing you to lock you suitcase.

04 Dec 2012 11:26 AM
Fark Rye For Many Whores     

Snarfangel: The Moving Phallus flies; and, having flit,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit,
Shall lure it back from Continental Airlines,
Nor all thy Tears wash out the Lubricant.
.


What a NSFW flying fake fallus might look like.

04 Dec 2012 11:26 AM
Showing 1-50 of 98 comments
Refresh Page 2
View Comments:
This thread is closed to new comments.


Back To Main

More Headlines:
Main | Sports | Business | Geek | Entertainment | Politics | Video | FarkUs | Contests | Fark Party | Combined