I once did it in a Burger King bathroom

/still funnier than xkcd. And less pretentious.

BronyMedic: [data.tumblr.com image 500x251]


/still funnier than xkcd. And less pretentious.

Came for this.

I'm in the bathroom RIGHT NOW

Fourth from the end, or fourth from the door? 'Cause I really need to...

I don't multitask in the bathroom. I'm there to take a dump. That's it.

"Crap accomplished!"
"Oh, what the hell. Tugging one out."

I sometimes chat on my cell phone while I'm in the bathroom, while on the toilet.

Gotta poop, where's my phone?

What?!

I could never understand why people would prefer to sit on a toilet for some length of time, when there is a sofa (or at least a more comfortable chair) within a less than 60 second destination. Seriously, what is the deal?

Cold_Sassy: I could never understand why people would prefer to sit on a toilet for some length of time, when there is a sofa (or at least a more comfortable chair) within a less than 60 second destination. Seriously, what is the deal?

Sometimes you just to make sure all the poop came out.

Cold_Sassy: I could never understand why people would prefer to sit on a toilet for some length of time, when there is a sofa (or at least a more comfortable chair) within a less than 60 second destination. Seriously, what is the deal?

You're sitting on a seat that is dedicated to spiriting away your human wastes to a out-of-sight place, never to be seen again. There's something magical about that.

Cold_Sassy: I could never understand why people would prefer to sit on a toilet for some length of time, when there is a sofa (or at least a more comfortable chair) within a less than 60 second destination. Seriously, what is the deal?

Spouse and kids are less likely to interrupt your prime reading/phone time if you are behind a door and 'busy'

Cythraul: Cold_Sassy: I could never understand why people would prefer to sit on a toilet for some length of time, when there is a sofa (or at least a more comfortable chair) within a less than 60 second destination. Seriously, what is the deal?

You're sitting on a seat that is dedicated to spiriting away your human wastes to a out-of-sight place, never to be seen again. There's something magical about that.

Yeah, but do it and GTFO. How long does it take anyway?

delathi: pizzacomedy.com

I'm more disturbed by the cans of Pringles.

Cold_Sassy: Cythraul: Cold_Sassy: I could never understand why people would prefer to sit on a toilet for some length of time, when there is a sofa (or at least a more comfortable chair) within a less than 60 second destination. Seriously, what is the deal?

You're sitting on a seat that is dedicated to spiriting away your human wastes to a out-of-sight place, never to be seen again. There's something magical about that.

Yeah, but do it and GTFO. How long does it take anyway?

It's not about the process, it's about the experience. The dedicated waste throne is there. It's waiting for you. It wants you to feel satisfied. Enjoy the transcendence that is the modern toilet.

Cold_Sassy: I could never understand why people would prefer to sit on a toilet for some length of time, when there is a sofa (or at least a more comfortable chair) within a less than 60 second destination. Seriously, what is the deal?

It's a guy thing. There's no explaining it. You just have to accept it.

Because we all know that your major life decisions aren't made in the boardroom. No. They're made in the bathroom.

I love ending a conversation with the sound of a flushing toilet in the background.

// had a business partner would flush a toilet and record it if anyone let his call go to voice mail.

Alright, post time!

Okay, post us coming out.

/I always assumed most posts in the Politics Tab were posted from a bathroom.

I'm actually doing this right now from Stall 1 of 3. Quick question: this is the first time in three weeks of visiting this stall that a co-worker has NOT already occupied the middle stall in an otherwise empty bathroom. Is this a breach of social norms and etiquette?

Cythraul: Cold_Sassy: Cythraul: Cold_Sassy: I could never understand why people would prefer to sit on a toilet for some length of time, when there is a sofa (or at least a more comfortable chair) within a less than 60 second destination. Seriously, what is the deal?

You're sitting on a seat that is dedicated to spiriting away your human wastes to a out-of-sight place, never to be seen again. There's something magical about that.

Yeah, but do it and GTFO. How long does it take anyway?

It's not about the process, it's about the experience. The dedicated waste throne is there. It's waiting for you. It wants you to feel satisfied. Enjoy the transcendence that is the modern toilet.

OK, I give. Man stuff -- sheesh.

And yes JackieRabbit You have hit the proverbial nail right on its head.

delathi has a semi-valid point I suppose - shades of my father...

here i sit
brknhrtd
tryd 2 shiat
bt nly frtd 

/i don't know text

My first Facebook and FARK post on my new tablet was from the toilet.

In 2003, at the Venetian in Vegas, a guy was in the stall next to mine trying to talk to someone on the phone. I swear he said 'can you hear me now', and then 'I am in a meeting'. At that moment I flushed, along with one or two other people.
That moment was priceless.

Also, I like reading jokes while on the potty. That way I get my shiats and giggles in.

How else you going to see how many likes you get for your latest floater?

/32% seems small to me.

vice_magnet: I'm actually doing this right now from Stall 1 of 3. Quick question: this is the first time in three weeks of visiting this stall that a co-worker has NOT already occupied the middle stall in an otherwise empty bathroom. Is this a breach of social norms and etiquette?

No. The every other rule only applies to urinals. Unless one of you starts trying to play footsie under the stall wall, then there might be a problem.

vice_magnet: I'm actually doing this right now from Stall 1 of 3. Quick question: this is the first time in three weeks of visiting this stall that a co-worker has NOT already occupied the middle stall in an otherwise empty bathroom. Is this a breach of social norms and etiquette?

Maybe, but it doubles your chances of getting a surreptitious BJ, since you can foot-tap on two sides.

JackieRabbit: vice_magnet: I'm actually doing this right now from Stall 1 of 3. Quick question: this is the first time in three weeks of visiting this stall that a co-worker has NOT already occupied the middle stall in an otherwise empty bathroom. Is this a breach of social norms and etiquette?

Maybe, but it doubles your chances of getting a surreptitious BJ, since you can foot-tap on two sides.

What kind of a hotel is this?

Social networking is very specific.

I'd predict that 75% of smartphone users have fired off a round of Angry Birds while on the can.

Jesus Christ, if it takes more than about 60-90 seconds for a bowel movement then you have serious nutritional deficiencies happening.

REO-Weedwagon: Jesus Christ, if it takes more than about 60-90 seconds for a bowel movement then you have serious nutritional deficiencies happening.

It takes only a second for me. I fire 'em out like a cannon ball. Sometimes, I hold back and wait as long as I can, trying to build up pressure, just to see if I can launch one fast enough to give me a cool and soothing backsplash of toilet water on my bottom.

REO-Weedwagon: Jesus Christ, if it takes more than about 60-90 seconds for a bowel movement then you have serious nutritional deficiencies happening.

I like to linger over a dump like I linger over a good meal.
What's the rush?

wildcardjack: Social networking is very specific.

I'd predict that 75% of smartphone users have fired off a round of Angry Birds while on the can.

Hell yeah. I won't take a call on the throne but I sure as hell will play a video game.

The post is coming from INSIDE the stall

Cythraul: I sometimes chat on my cell phone while I'm in the bathroom, while on the toilet.

That's annoying and rude to fellow shiatters

I would think the percentage is closer to 60-70%

REO-Weedwagon: Jesus Christ, if it takes more than about 60-90 seconds for a bowel movement then you have serious nutritional deficiencies happening.

You sound female.

wildcardjack: Social networking is very specific.

I'd predict that 75% of smartphone users have fired off a round of Angry Birds while on the can.

This is what I do on the can.

ipoop

Smoky Dragon Dish: You sound female.

So it's more masculine to sit down longer on a toilet?

I'm waiting for my blumpkin baby.

Im busting a grumpy right now so im getting a kick....

REO-Weedwagon: Smoky Dragon Dish: You sound female.

So it's more masculine to sit down longer on a toilet?

No, it's more feminine to balk at the concept of taking more than 90 seconds to drop a deuce.

Great. The last place of quiet solitude has been invaded by communication technology-
*PHERP!!*
Okay - scratch the "quiet" part. Dammit! No TP!
*texts office supply manager for a roll - and a can of air freshener*

REO-Weedwagon: Jesus Christ, if it takes more than about 60-90 seconds for a bowel movement then you have serious nutritional deficiencies happening.


This. I don't "get" people that spend 30+ minutes in the bathroom for dropping a deuce. I get in, and get out as quickly as possible.. A bathroom is a nasty place.

"According to a study released Monday, 32 percent of people in the United States aged 18 to 24 say they use social networking in the bathroom."

I'm going to guess that at least 40% of that 32% involved a camera phone, a mirror, and a partially clothed or nude female between the ages of 13-19.

/sad but true, the "I swear I won't show the pic to any of my friends!!!1111!!!" line still works