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   You've come up with a 15-point plan to get your wife hooked on meth. Step 1: spike her cigarettes. Step 2 thru Step 14: ? Step 15: Profit

04 Dec 2012 02:17 PM   |   17433 clicks   |   Seattle Times
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Treygreen13     
From what I've seen of people high on Meth, I'm surprised it wasn't a 212 point plan.

04 Dec 2012 02:19 PM
ChipNASA    [TotalFark]  
The answer is always "C"

04 Dec 2012 02:19 PM
Savian     
20 years old and married? There's your first problem.

04 Dec 2012 02:19 PM
ChipNASA    [TotalFark]  

ChipNASA: The answer is always "C"


I know it doesn't make sense......BUT ON METH IT DOES!
{;-D

04 Dec 2012 02:19 PM
had98c     
So his brilliant idea was to come up with a plan that was 10 points more complicated than Romney's? And it didn't work? Color me shocked.

Yeah, I know, politics tab thatta way --> But it was so easy. And right there.

04 Dec 2012 02:21 PM
bentleypm     
Moving to Bremerton was actually Step 1.

04 Dec 2012 02:23 PM
Headso     
he man had reportedly told friends he had a 15-point plan to get his wife addicted to meth.

The farking downfall of journalism... call the friends get the plan and print the plan, best part of the story right there.

04 Dec 2012 02:23 PM
tricycleracer     

Treygreen13: From what I've seen of people high on Meth, I'm surprised it wasn't a 212 point plan.


Step 1- Start digging, never stop.

pixel.nymag.comView Full Size

04 Dec 2012 02:24 PM
iheartscotch     
1. Make meth-laden cigarette

2. Trick wife into smoking afformentioned cigarette.

What were the other 13 points in the 15 point plan?

04 Dec 2012 02:24 PM
Wrath of Heaven     
He was 5 cigs into his pack when he hatched this cunning scheme.

04 Dec 2012 02:24 PM
Jon iz teh kewl     
better than Romney's 5 point meth-inspired plan

04 Dec 2012 02:27 PM
naughtyrev    [TotalFark]  

Headso: he man had reportedly told friends he had a 15-point plan to get his wife addicted to meth.

The farking downfall of journalism... call the friends get the plan and print the plan, best part of the story right there.


Pretty much this.

04 Dec 2012 02:28 PM
tuxq     

Treygreen13: From what I've seen of people high on Meth, I'm surprised it wasn't a 212 point plan.


Lol. Came to say something very similar to this. But seriously, if they could harness the qualities of meth that make you want to be productive, but mildly enough so that you can actually do things, I would take it. Adderall is not quite the ticket -- close, though...

04 Dec 2012 02:28 PM
wiredtolain     
Instead of meth, put ricin in the cig.

04 Dec 2012 02:29 PM
Elegy     
Wait, a 15 step plan to get her hooked on meth, but only 12 steps to get her off meth?

Something doesn't add up here.

/meth math

04 Dec 2012 02:30 PM
FrancoFile     
Addicted, abusive, and in jail is no way to go through life, son.

04 Dec 2012 02:31 PM
BarkingUnicorn     

Savian: 20 years old and married? There's your first problem.


I bet the kids were the first problem.

04 Dec 2012 02:32 PM
schoolbread     
That cigg must have tasted wonderful, and by wonderful i mean disgusting

04 Dec 2012 02:32 PM
HotWingConspiracy     
Married a meth addict at 20. Can't you at least try not to fail? Don't make it obvious to the rest of us.

04 Dec 2012 02:33 PM
That Guy...From That Show!     

iheartscotch: 1. Make meth-laden cigarette

2. Trick wife into smoking afformentioned cigarette.

What were the other 13 points in the 15 point plan?


They could have been anything, even including Ancient Aliens.

Really, I've known a lot of meth-addicts and they'll come up with extremely detailed plans to do stuff like commit robberies. They'll have a 100 step plan yet not include obvious things like "don't log into facebook during robbery" and "don't leave identification at the scene"

04 Dec 2012 02:34 PM
proteon     
Their misery makes me feel oddly superior. Wait was that the intended effect?

04 Dec 2012 02:34 PM
Buffet     
Just like an ungrateful whore to biatch about free shiat!

04 Dec 2012 02:34 PM
Zeb Hesselgresser     
So he wanted company remodeling the kitchen at 4 AM?

Leave the drywall alone.

04 Dec 2012 02:36 PM
satanorsanta     

tuxq: Treygreen13: From what I've seen of people high on Meth, I'm surprised it wasn't a 212 point plan.

Lol. Came to say something very similar to this. But seriously, if they could harness the qualities of meth that make you want to be productive, but mildly enough so that you can actually do things, I would take it. Adderall is not quite the ticket -- close, though...


Adderall
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size


Meth
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size


Not really any room for anything between these two structures, and I am a chemist.

/Adderall is amphetamine, Meth is methyl amphetamine

04 Dec 2012 02:38 PM
okaykleek     
media.coveringmedia.comView Full Size

04 Dec 2012 02:42 PM
JackieRabbit     
20 year-old and husband are a combination of words usually associated with intelligence.

04 Dec 2012 02:44 PM
Guns n' Farkin Roses     
You are much better off dropping acid into her eyes while she is sleeping and then blasting circus music to wake her up. Then she would know what the world would be doing on Saturday nights if the Nazis had won the war.

04 Dec 2012 02:45 PM
Treygreen13     

Guns n' Farkin Roses: dropping acid into her eyes while she is sleeping


In case she sleeps with her eyes open?

04 Dec 2012 02:47 PM
vernonFL    [TotalFark]  

Treygreen13: From what I've seen of people high on Meth, I'm surprised it wasn't a 212 point plan.


Its simple, really!

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.comView Full Size
 

/CSB: I've done meth a couple of times and ended up playing chess and Risk for hours and making complex domino mazes to topple and rube goldberg machines.

04 Dec 2012 02:47 PM
Jon iz teh kewl     
your married, why are you doing meth??
what god forsaken thing are you trying to run away from??

04 Dec 2012 02:49 PM
doczoidberg     
Maybe it was his own clever way of getting her to lose weight.

04 Dec 2012 02:52 PM
solokumba     
I had a neighbor that would do that to his wife on the weekends.
Slip it in her morning coffee.
She would be cleaning house all day.
On Sunday's after coffee he would turn on the charm and they would fark till noon.

true story.

04 Dec 2012 02:56 PM
JokerMattly     

satanorsanta: /Adderall is amphetamine, Meth is methyl amphetamine


The difference of a Methyl group - Awful horrible blindness followed swiftly by death as the chemical soaks into your brain, or delicious delicious beer.

And there's plenty of room, there's all sorts of random hydrogens on that Adderall that could be kicked off to find something better

04 Dec 2012 02:58 PM
Zeb Hesselgresser     

Guns n' Farkin Roses: You are much better off dropping acid into her eyes while she is sleeping and then blasting circus music to wake her up. Then she would know what the world would be doing on Saturday nights if the Nazis had won the war.


you make it Nazi world sound fun, stop it

04 Dec 2012 03:01 PM
Psychopusher     

iheartscotch: 1. Make meth-laden cigarette

2. Trick wife into smoking afformentioned cigarette.

What were the other 13 points in the 15 point plan?


3) Shoot meth.
4) Steal shiat.
5) Shoot meth.
6) Pimp wife out.
7) Shoot meth.
8) Pimp self out.
9) Shoot meth.
10) Steal shiat.
11) Shoot meth.
12) Pimp wife out again.
13) Shoot meth.
14) Gay for pay.
15) Wait, what day is it?

04 Dec 2012 03:01 PM
felching pen     
Meth - not even once, fifteen times.

04 Dec 2012 03:03 PM
OMG! We're All Gonna Die!     
Someone put a firecracker in my cigarette once. It hurt. So I broke a pool cue over his head. No one bums cigarettes off of me anymore. Win!

04 Dec 2012 03:03 PM
Jon iz teh kewl     

JokerMattly: satanorsanta: /Adderall is amphetamine, Meth is methyl amphetamine

The difference of a Methyl group - Awful horrible blindness followed swiftly by death as the chemical soaks into your brain, or delicious delicious beer.

And there's plenty of room, there's all sorts of random hydrogens on that Adderall that could be kicked off to find something better


so amphetamines are a-ok to take without a prescription then?

04 Dec 2012 03:03 PM
Sofa King Smart     
I'm surprised step 1 didn't involve getting her addicted to marijuana first...marijuana being the notorious 'gateway drug' that it is, then the meth part would be a natural next step. maybe brownies first, then the vaporizer... ease her into it... boom. meth.

also, lyrics, man...

Meth, I hear you callin'
But I can't come home right now
Me and the boys are playin'
And we just can't find the sound

Just a few more hours
And I'll be right home to you
I think I hear them callin'
Oh, Meth what can I do? Meth what can I do?

04 Dec 2012 03:04 PM
satanorsanta     

JokerMattly: satanorsanta: /Adderall is amphetamine, Meth is methyl amphetamine

The difference of a Methyl group - Awful horrible blindness followed swiftly by death as the chemical soaks into your brain, or delicious delicious beer.

And there's plenty of room, there's all sorts of random hydrogens on that Adderall that could be kicked off to find something better


There is an entire book on it. From amphetamine to ecstasy, meth to mescaline. And more!

04 Dec 2012 03:06 PM
Jon iz teh kewl     

satanorsanta: JokerMattly: satanorsanta: /Adderall is amphetamine, Meth is methyl amphetamine

The difference of a Methyl group - Awful horrible blindness followed swiftly by death as the chemical soaks into your brain, or delicious delicious beer.

And there's plenty of room, there's all sorts of random hydrogens on that Adderall that could be kicked off to find something better

There is an entire book on it. From amphetamine to ecstasy, meth to mescaline. And more!


i recommend methiopropamine. it's like the euphoria of meth but without the heart palpitations
strange how no one talks about the good legal chemicals and focuses only on the ones that cause horrendous damage (MDPV)

04 Dec 2012 03:09 PM
Millennium     
No pics? But if the article has no pics, how will I see Faces Of Meth (tm)?

04 Dec 2012 03:10 PM
The Southern Logic Company     
15 Point plan to get her hooked on meth? I'm sure he will enjoy the prison's 1 point plan to kick a meth habit, detox.

Have fun!

04 Dec 2012 03:10 PM
GleeUnit     
It's always so nice seeing the hometown in the news.

04 Dec 2012 03:13 PM
jayhawk88    [TotalFark]  
I'm having way to much fun imagining this scenario as an SNL skit:

"Honey.....I want you to smoke meth. Seriously, it's awesome."
"Dammit, Cletus, for the last time no! I'm pregnant!"
"Ok, Ok....all right, well, do you at least want a cigarette?"
"Fine."
"NONOTTHEONESYOUHAVEINYOURPOCKETTHISO NEI'VEGOTFORYOUHERE!"
".......why?"
"BECAUSE....because I made it for you, wait, no, I mean...because...I want to....share with you...?"
".......Aren't you just the sweetest thing?"

04 Dec 2012 03:14 PM
jayhawk88    [TotalFark]  

satanorsanta: JokerMattly: satanorsanta: /Adderall is amphetamine, Meth is methyl amphetamine

The difference of a Methyl group - Awful horrible blindness followed swiftly by death as the chemical soaks into your brain, or delicious delicious beer.

And there's plenty of room, there's all sorts of random hydrogens on that Adderall that could be kicked off to find something better

There is an entire book on it. From amphetamine to ecstasy, meth to mescaline. And more!


fringepedia.netView Full Size


Wonderful!

04 Dec 2012 03:15 PM
Hot Carl To Go     
I think this guy might qualify for the prestigious Most Self-Centered, Biggest Piece of Shiat award

04 Dec 2012 03:16 PM
topcon     
To be fair, the Powerpoint presentation he designed for the plan, I thought was very well put together and a pleasure to watch.

04 Dec 2012 03:25 PM
tricycleracer     

Jon iz teh kewl: i recommend methiopropamine. it's like the euphoria of meth but without the heart palpitations


imageshack.usView Full Size

04 Dec 2012 03:25 PM
That Guy...From That Show!     

Zeb Hesselgresser: Guns n' Farkin Roses: You are much better off dropping acid into her eyes while she is sleeping and then blasting circus music to wake her up. Then she would know what the world would be doing on Saturday nights if the Nazis had won the war.

you make it Nazi world sound fun, stop it


The fact that Hitler's doctor was injecting into Hitler what he called Vitamultin but was found to contain methamphetamine made Hitler's world fun, for a while. Its effect on his mind most likely helped screw up his thinking enough to make it easier to end the war more quickly.

It's trivially easy to get a meth addict off on a line of thinking and he'll run with it and build up extremely complicated reasoning to support that line of thinking..

04 Dec 2012 03:28 PM
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