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   Home invader: "I want all your money." Homeowner: "You want KARATE?"

04 Dec 2012 08:59 PM   |   13015 clicks   |   Click2Houston
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timujin    [TotalFark]  
Always good to hear when this works out for someone. Bonus on kicking the ass of someone half his age.

04 Dec 2012 08:46 PM
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AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
Bath salts strike again.

You never hear about home invasions because someone was high on marijuana.

04 Dec 2012 09:01 PM
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veedeevadeevoodee     
mkw.st

/ oblig

04 Dec 2012 09:02 PM
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Jument     
Giant brass balls. Good on him. Perhaps foolish but it worked out.

04 Dec 2012 09:02 PM
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Kanemano     
1,000 79 years of power

04 Dec 2012 09:02 PM
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jimpoz     
jimpoz.com

What? You don't know karate.

/ow! 
//shortarse

04 Dec 2012 09:03 PM
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ghare     
wait wait...it's possible to defend yourself without a gun?

04 Dec 2012 09:03 PM
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Rambino     
Shoulda judo-chopped him instead. Judo chop is way better than karate chop.

04 Dec 2012 09:03 PM
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megarian    [TotalFark]  
If it weren't for bath salts this website would be much more boring.

Well, bath salts and Florida.

And boobies.

04 Dec 2012 09:04 PM
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burnsWhileUrinating     
Well this article is an obvious lie. How did he defend himself without a gun?

04 Dec 2012 09:05 PM
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Rambino     

ghare: wait wait...it's possible to defend yourself without a gun?


Obviously not. That's why he took the intruder's gun - so he could defend himself from the intruder.

04 Dec 2012 09:05 PM
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LordOfThePings     
This source & tag combo make me think of this: Link

04 Dec 2012 09:05 PM
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skinink     

04 Dec 2012 09:05 PM
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vodka     
Come on, jujutsu is the root of judo and both TOTALLY DESTROY karate. Plus, ninjas.

04 Dec 2012 09:06 PM
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Counter_Intelligent     
That's what you get for opening the supply closet.

04 Dec 2012 09:09 PM
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Porous Horace     
We're still having a bit of trouble connecting with the ordinary voter.

04 Dec 2012 09:10 PM
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GoldSpider     

Counter_Intelligent: That's what you get for opening the supply closet.


dennisjudd.com

04 Dec 2012 09:14 PM
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SnakeLee    [TotalFark]  
Literally every comment at TFA's comment section basically says "after he karate chopped him in the throat and rendered him unconscious, he should have taken the gun and shot him multiple times." If you click on any of their profiles, basically all the other comments they make on the site are saying exactly the same thing except in different articles, even when it doesn't even really make sense. I'm not even exaggerating. I'm guessing they're all pro-life too

04 Dec 2012 09:19 PM
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BarkingUnicorn    [TotalFark]  

vodka: Come on, jujutsu is the root of judo and both TOTALLY DESTROY karate. Plus, ninjas.


Sinanju is the Sun Source of all martial arts.

04 Dec 2012 09:19 PM
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Greywar     
The guys lucky he didnt shoot him after taking his rifle away.

04 Dec 2012 09:20 PM
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FarkingStan     
4.bp.blogspot.com

04 Dec 2012 09:21 PM
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poe_zlaw     
The pic, the bath salts, League City, the old man with a colorful, tough guy personality, the justice served. What a perfect Texas story.

04 Dec 2012 09:22 PM
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TedAlsoRises     
You mean "Karate", the Dane Cook of martial arts?

04 Dec 2012 09:23 PM
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Acharne     

BarkingUnicorn: vodka: Come on, jujutsu is the root of judo and both TOTALLY DESTROY karate. Plus, ninjas.

Sinanju is the Sun Source of all martial arts.


And since the Sun is the Sun Source of all, the Sun is the Sun Source of Sinanju.

/One cannot sew a silk purse from a sow's ear.

04 Dec 2012 09:24 PM
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Amos Quito     

ghare: wait wait...it's possible to defend yourself without a gun?



I once got a flat tire in the woods in the middle of nowhere, and found that I had no jack.

Luckily, I did have a chainsaw.

Sometimes you make do with what you have.

04 Dec 2012 09:29 PM
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Ass Exploder     
I think I kinda want to try me some of them bath salts.

04 Dec 2012 09:30 PM
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Loucifer     
Isn't it ironic that all these bath salts people are filthy?

04 Dec 2012 09:31 PM
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Giant Clown Shoe     
2hourjobsearch.com

04 Dec 2012 09:31 PM
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moothemagiccow     
FTFComments: Anyone breaking into my home, or stealing from my yard, car, etc, will leave my property...but not via a police car. More like the coroner's van. Cheaper that way and ZERO chance of relapse, or repeat offending.

I love how the coroner has a van. An ambulance is too much for these thugs. The coroner's van, which he tricked out with a mural of WWF's Undertaker, is the only transport method suitable for burglars.

04 Dec 2012 09:32 PM
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vudukungfu     
the homeowner then karate-chopped Smith in the throat, took the rifle and closed the door while he waited for officers to arrive.

Good enough

04 Dec 2012 09:33 PM
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robhidalgo     
i.qkme.me

04 Dec 2012 09:34 PM
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JasonOfOrillia    [TotalFark]  
I would have found "you want a mouth full of chicklets?" equally amusing.

04 Dec 2012 09:35 PM
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LoneVVolf     
Old people rock when they're not driving! Some tweaker with a rifle tries to break into his house WAY too early in the morning. This guy slaps him and takes his gun away; probably went to make a pot of coffee while waiting for the cops to come book the dazed tweaker.

04 Dec 2012 09:38 PM
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Ishkur    [TotalFark]  

moothemagiccow: FTFComments: Anyone breaking into my home, or stealing from my yard, car, etc, will leave my property...but not via a police car. More like the coroner's van. Cheaper that way and ZERO chance of relapse, or repeat offending.


How does he know the burglar stole a coroner's van?

04 Dec 2012 09:39 PM
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Indubitably     
To defend

P.S. No weapon required.

04 Dec 2012 09:40 PM
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fappomatic     

moothemagiccow: FTFComments: Anyone breaking into my home, or stealing from my yard, car, etc, will leave my property...but not via a police car. More like the coroner's van. Cheaper that way and ZERO chance of relapse, or repeat offending.

I love how the coroner has a van. An ambulance is too much for these thugs. The coroner's van, which he tricked out with a mural of WWF's Undertaker, is the only transport method suitable for burglars.


This old guy was smart. Had he shot the man after disarming him, he'd be facing manslaughter charges.
That said, I'd have the guy on the floor and face down with a warning, 'you move and I'll perceive that as a threat to my well being which will get you shot."

04 Dec 2012 09:41 PM
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Prof. Frink     

Rambino: Shoulda judo-chopped him instead. Judo chop is way better than karate chop.


Hassan chop!

04 Dec 2012 09:41 PM
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Mega Steve     
Detectives said Smith exhibited signs that he may have been on bath salts when he was arrested.

Was the intruder naked? Did the intruder try to bite anyone? No? Than I call BS on the bath salts

04 Dec 2012 09:43 PM
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TofuTheAlmighty     
Saving yourself or your possessions is never heroic.

04 Dec 2012 09:43 PM
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Indubitably     

TofuTheAlmighty: Saving yourself or your possessions is never heroic.


I defend peeps only.

04 Dec 2012 09:44 PM
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Igor Jakovsky    [TotalFark]  
i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com

Homeowner was obviously wearing his cologne

04 Dec 2012 09:45 PM
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Amos Quito     

Ass Exploder: I think I kinda want to try me some of them bath salts.



Ask for the kind that make bubbles.

More entertaining.

04 Dec 2012 09:45 PM
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Indubitably     

Indubitably: TofuTheAlmighty: Saving yourself or your possessions is never heroic.

I defend peeps only.


P.S. And then bitterly.

04 Dec 2012 09:45 PM
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Amos Quito     

TofuTheAlmighty: Saving yourself or your possessions is never heroic.



Even "heroism" is self-serving.

Think about it.

04 Dec 2012 09:46 PM
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pxlboy    [TotalFark]  
Can we stop calling them "bath salts" yet?

04 Dec 2012 09:49 PM
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adeist69     

Indubitably: TofuTheAlmighty: Saving yourself or your possessions is never heroic.

I defend peeps only.



There is no defense.


ruggerjay.typepad.com

04 Dec 2012 09:49 PM
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ko_kyi     
They didn't show the homeowner, so I am going to imagine he looked like the bad guy in Fist of the White Lotus

04 Dec 2012 09:50 PM
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Ficoce     
I know if you don't get the first lick in, you're pretty far behind.

This is how you live to be 80.

04 Dec 2012 09:51 PM
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ko_kyi     
This dirtbag is going to have to embellish telling the story of how he got caught. "An unarmed near-octogenarian disarmed me, took my rifle, and held me at gunpoint" probably doesn't carry a lot of street cred.

04 Dec 2012 09:52 PM
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vudukungfu     

Ficoce: I know if you don't get the first lick in, you're pretty far behind.

This is how you live to be 80.


works for me

04 Dec 2012 09:53 PM
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