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   New Zealand giving unemployed one-way airfares to Australia. It's a little game they play

05 Dec 2012 09:10 PM   |   7289 clicks   |   News.com.au
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The_Sponge    [TotalFark]  
On a very special episode of "Flight of the Concords".....

05 Dec 2012 08:54 PM
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Gyrfalcon     
I hate Qantas...

05 Dec 2012 09:11 PM
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wildcardjack     
Because bus tickets just don't cut it.

05 Dec 2012 09:13 PM
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MemeSlave     
Didn't England try this a few hundred years ago?

05 Dec 2012 09:15 PM
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Gyrfalcon     

MemeSlave: Didn't England try this a few hundred years ago?


And the Lord Humungous just a few hundred years from now.

05 Dec 2012 09:16 PM
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JasonOfOrillia    [TotalFark]  
Maybe they were hoping the spiders would get them.

05 Dec 2012 09:22 PM
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skinink     

"Go back to kiwi land, you lazy bastards. And take your Sheilas with you!" 


img850.imageshack.us


05 Dec 2012 09:23 PM
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Bob Down     
Last one out turn off the lights

05 Dec 2012 09:24 PM
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Hagenhatesyouall     
That's farking awesome!

05 Dec 2012 09:25 PM
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fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
That's not how you play cricket...

05 Dec 2012 09:25 PM
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ThatBillmanGuy     
Some people say that Aussies don't have feelings...

05 Dec 2012 09:27 PM
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Tax Boy     
Hey New Zealand --

I don't have a job in your country either. But I'd really like to visit Australia. So please send me a free ticket. Thx.

/NZ is full of hobbit-fanciers anyway

05 Dec 2012 09:31 PM
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Lehk     
if they could prove there was a job waiting at their destination.

imokwiththis.jpg


as long as the relocation itself is legal, what is the problem with a social services agency helping clients relocate to a job they have secured but are unable to afford or secure their own relocation costs? (as long as costs are reasonable and secured job is credible , long term, and within the skillset of the client)

05 Dec 2012 09:32 PM
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3825968     
2.bp.blogspot.com

05 Dec 2012 09:34 PM
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Spartacus Outlaw     
The enzeders have been hieing it to Australia since time immemorial. My dad was one of them back in the 30's, although I think he started out being born in Australia and his dad went to NZ for a while while my dad was a teenager, and took the family with him. I think getting a free aeroplane ticket is a recent development, however.

05 Dec 2012 09:34 PM
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bullwinkl     

archives.govt.nz
"New Zealanders who leave for Australia raise the IQ of both countries"
also
"Good luck with the sheepshiat economy I left you"

05 Dec 2012 09:34 PM
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ariosto     
Our government has pretty much given up on trying to find jobs for anyone with a decent education, or working in a creative field. This is the natural result of that.

I've had friends with masters degrees and PhDs told that there's no point even looking for work here.

05 Dec 2012 09:37 PM
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MemeSlave     

ariosto: Our government has pretty much given up on trying to find jobs for anyone with a decent education, or working in a creative field. This is the natural result of that.

I've had friends with masters degrees and PhDs told that there's no point even looking for work here.


That's kind of true in most places. Do you want fries with that PhD in alternative-basket-weaving-psychology?

05 Dec 2012 09:38 PM
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Crewmannumber6     

The_Sponge: On a very special episode of "Flight of the Concords".....


My grandad met my grandmum in Australia. And by 'met' I mean raped.

05 Dec 2012 09:41 PM
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To The Escape Zeppelin!     
I hear Bartertown has openings for new pig wranglers, electrical engineers, and slave drivers. I sent in my resume for Thunderdome fight promoter.

05 Dec 2012 09:41 PM
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pappy1398     
New Zealand is giving jobseekers roughly $1200 for a one-way ticket to Australia to get them back to work and off the dole at home. Source: Supplied...

New Zealand is giving jobseekers roughly $1200 for a one-way ticket to Australia to get them back to work and off the dole at home. Source: Supplied...

05 Dec 2012 09:51 PM
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Strongbeerrules     
So much for the pursuit of happiness in a nuclear-free zone.

05 Dec 2012 09:52 PM
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Boston Kiwi     
I found the list of Kiwi's who took advantage of this scheme;

Quade Cooper
Sonny Bill Williams
Greg Somerville
Mike Harris
Robbie Deans
Alby Matthewson
Jason Woodward
Daryl Gibson
John Mitchell
James Tamou

05 Dec 2012 09:53 PM
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MrHappyRotter     

ThatBillmanGuy: Some people say that Aussies don't have feelings...


We have feelings.

05 Dec 2012 09:55 PM
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andrewmoriarty    [TotalFark]  
What do Kiwi's and sperm have in common?
Millions of them enter and only a couple of them actually work.

05 Dec 2012 09:59 PM
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Mantour     
Dumb question:

If New Zealand and Australia are 2 sovereign countries, then why can a Kiwi collect Australian Dole money, since he did not contribute to it through taxes or deductions?

05 Dec 2012 10:10 PM
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Mantour     
as it states: "since then Kiwis receiving the dole have been able to apply for money to migrate to Australia, if they could prove there was a job waiting at their destination."

But can they collect the Australian Dole?

05 Dec 2012 10:11 PM
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illannoyin     
www.kazak.com

There are some teachers at this school who look the other way at truants. It's a little game you both play. They pretend they don't see you, and you pretend you don't ditch! Now, in the end, who pays the price? YOU!

05 Dec 2012 10:12 PM
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conjecture and hearsay     
This reminds me of the time that guy in Fort Lauderdale, Florida gave all those bums one way bus tickets to Los Angeles. LA was pissed about it, if I recall correctly.

05 Dec 2012 10:15 PM
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Munchkin City Coroner    [TotalFark]  
It's those tricksy hobbitses. They'll do the same jobs for half the pay.

05 Dec 2012 10:16 PM
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My Bologna Has A Maiden Name     
Mantour: Dumb question:

If New Zealand and Australia are 2 sovereign countries, then why can a Kiwi collect Australian Dole money, since he did not contribute to it through taxes or deductions?

The same way the mexicans that sneak into the US get all the benefits that I pay for without contributing a damned thing themselves. Socialism.

05 Dec 2012 10:20 PM
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thisispete    [TotalFark]  

Mantour: as it states: "since then Kiwis receiving the dole have been able to apply for money to migrate to Australia, if they could prove there was a job waiting at their destination."

But can they collect the Australian Dole?


No, they can't. No New Zealander who has arrived since 26 February 2001 can collect Australian welfare. There's no path to citizenship (except by marriage or the same rules for other nationalities), so there are very few New Zealanders living in Australia who can collect Australian welfare. Even when there are emergency payments for floods, bush fires or other natural disasters.

The average Kiwi living in Australia pays more in tax than the average Australian and gets far less in return.

05 Dec 2012 10:36 PM
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Mantour     

My Bologna Has A Maiden Name: Mantour: Dumb question:

If New Zealand and Australia are 2 sovereign countries, then why can a Kiwi collect Australian Dole money, since he did not contribute to it through taxes or deductions?

The same way the mexicans that sneak into the US get all the benefits that I pay for without contributing a damned thing themselves. Socialism.


They are 2 "socialists" countries...

05 Dec 2012 10:38 PM
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WhippingBoy     
Canada is planning to do the same thing with the United States...

for some reason they WANT our tired, our poor,
our huddled masses, yearning to breath free, the wretched refuse of our teeming shore.

We're sending these, the homeless.

05 Dec 2012 10:39 PM
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Bob Down     
We still don't forgive you for Russell Crowd. Thanks for Tum Funn though.

05 Dec 2012 10:42 PM
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Bob Down     
CrowE. farking autocorrect.

05 Dec 2012 10:44 PM
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maddermaxx     

Mantour: as it states: "since then Kiwis receiving the dole have been able to apply for money to migrate to Australia, if they could prove there was a job waiting at their destination."

But can they collect the Australian Dole?


We're two countries, but with a long history and deep ties together. We have a lot of special agreements with NZ, including that NZ can become permanent residents here quite easily, but I think it still takes a while before they're allowed to apply for the dole. This case isn't about them being sent over to get the dole in Australia, it's about them being sent over if they have jobs lined up, to start work (which isn't too bad).

Also, remember that News.com.au is run by the same people who run Fox News, so they always have a particular slant on things.

05 Dec 2012 10:45 PM
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ThatBillmanGuy     

MrHappyRotter: ThatBillmanGuy: Some people say that Aussies don't have feelings...

We have feelings.


Some people say that MrHappyRotter and I aren't Aussies...

05 Dec 2012 10:54 PM
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gaspode     

thisispete:

The average Kiwi living in Australia pays more in tax than the average Australian and gets far less in return.


And yet Australians continue to believe their lying shiatbag politicians who use kiwis as scapegoats to deflect from their own failures. Sad really

05 Dec 2012 10:55 PM
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starsrift     
Australia's pretty hungry for employees right now, so this makes a lot of sense.

05 Dec 2012 11:07 PM
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andrewmoriarty    [TotalFark]  

gaspode: thisispete:

The average Kiwi living in Australia pays more in tax than the average Australian and gets far less in return.

And yet Australians continue to believe their lying shiatbag politicians who use kiwis as scapegoats to deflect from their own failures. Sad really


Fyi, nobody blames the Kiwis for anything, we're family. Kiwis are our smaller, less successful cousins (and more boring). Sad really.

05 Dec 2012 11:08 PM
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Gyrfalcon     

starsrift: Australia's pretty hungry for employees right now, so this makes a lot of sense.


Well, if all the wildlife over there didn't kill everyone, maybe they'd be able to keep a few employees alive long enough to get some work done, ever think of that?

05 Dec 2012 11:19 PM
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Langdon_777     

Mantour: Dumb question:

If New Zealand and Australia are 2 sovereign countries, then why can a Kiwi collect Australian Dole money, since he did not contribute to it through taxes or deductions?


Brothers look after each other.

Until John Howard got in, we were sharing more and more. With the ultimate aim of creating a single currency and ease of movement. If we were smart we would have called the place Oceania and then started working on introducing the local islands and ultimately Indonesia et al.

05 Dec 2012 11:28 PM
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gaspode     

andrewmoriarty:

Fyi, nobody blames the Kiwis for anything, we're family. Kiwis are our smaller, less successful cousins (and more boring). Sad really.


Heard numerous aussies biatching on and on about Kiwis sponging over there.. when there are no such things. Kiwis DO go over there and steal your jobs, but then you werent really doing them very well so thats fine.

Ive also seen queensland politicians on TV spouting outright lies about it all.

Im also not a native Kiwi ;P

05 Dec 2012 11:34 PM
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silverjets     

WhippingBoy: Canada is planning to do the same thing with the United States...


We are? I haven't heard that.

The stupidest thing I've heard lately is that Alberta is targetting former US servicemen to work in the oilsands. That's right, they're looking to hire ex-US servicemen to work the Canadian oilsands rather than targetting jobs at Canadians that need them.

Link

Stupidest farking idea ever.

05 Dec 2012 11:36 PM
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Forbidden Doughnut    [TotalFark]  

gaspode: thisispete:

The average Kiwi living in Australia pays more in tax than the average Australian and gets far less in return.

And yet Australians continue to believe their lying shiatbag politicians who use kiwis as scapegoats to deflect from their own failures. Sad really


I see a direct parallel with the United States here...

05 Dec 2012 11:38 PM
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Spartacus Outlaw     

starsrift: Australia's pretty hungry for employees right now, so this makes a lot of sense.


I need to get back home. Do they need veterinarians?

05 Dec 2012 11:46 PM
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maddermaxx     

gaspode: thisispete:

The average Kiwi living in Australia pays more in tax than the average Australian and gets far less in return.

And yet Australians continue to believe their lying shiatbag politicians who use kiwis as scapegoats to deflect from their own failures. Sad really


Bah, slagging all of us because of some right wingers is pretty stupid. Just because some right wing derpers and Murdoch's News.com.au are trying to find some ways to Americanise the country's politics is no reason to blame the rest of us.

05 Dec 2012 11:52 PM
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bobbette     

maddermaxx: Just because some right wing derpers and Murdoch's News.com.au are trying to find some ways to Americanise the country's politics is no reason to blame the rest of us.


Technically, you can't blame the Americans for that. Rupes originated his empire in Australia.

If anything, he Australianized American and British politics.

05 Dec 2012 11:58 PM
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Mrs. Beasley     
And we get all upset when the Colorado Springs' holier-than-thous buy one-way bus tickets for the homeless to send them to Phoenix? In they churches? [sic] And without a sponsor on the other end. God, I love Christians.

06 Dec 2012 12:13 AM
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