That's when the gunplay started, the report said, with the son firing four or five shots at his dad.

Gunplay always sounds so lighthearted and whimsical.

I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

Sybarite: I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

My name is Sue, How do you do?

Diogenes: That's when the gunplay started, the report said, with the son firing four or five shots at his dad.

Gunplay always sounds so lighthearted and whimsical.

I imagine the scene was well choreographed.

He's most likely pissed off at being named Artavious.

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Sybarite: I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

My name is Sue, How do you do?

Yep.

Artavious was determined to have his vengeance outside that liquor store. Or the next.

AbbeySomeone: Diogenes: That's when the gunplay started, the report said, with the son firing four or five shots at his dad.

Gunplay always sounds so lighthearted and whimsical.

I imagine the scene was well choreographed.

He's most likely pissed off at being named Artavious.

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Sybarite: I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

My name is Sue ARTAVIOUS, How do you do?

Yep.

FTFY

"Father?"

"Yes, son?"

"I want to kill you..."


/The End, The Doors

Well, I'm glad the boy named Sue angle has been covered, carry on.

Now, 16-year-old Artavious B. Malone, of Wellington, is charged with attempted murder and illegal possession of a firearm, according to an arrest report from the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office.

/See? That's where you farked up dad. You gave him the wrong name. It was supposed to be Ardvarkious.
//get real. or gtfo.

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Sybarite: I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

My name is Sue, How do you do?

Life ain't easy for a boy named sue.

FTFA:The son told deputies that his dad smacked him in the face inside the liquor store, the report said. The son said he didn't fire the shots, but that he heard them while his father ran.

Why exactly was he running. How far ahead was this kid thinking?

"Archie said his relationship with Artavious has been hostile since he sent him to a juvenile center for his behavior a few years ago," Well at least dad realized his son had problems early.

Also since when are 16 year olds even allowed in the liquor store?

Diogenes: That's when the gunplay started, the report said, with the son firing four or five shots at his dad.

Gunplay always sounds so lighthearted and whimsical.

When I hear that phrase I always think of the houselights dimming and hushed voices.
"Shhhhh... The gun play's about to start."

Abuse Liability: FTFA:The son told deputies that his dad smacked him in the face inside the liquor store, the report said. The son said he didn't fire the shots, but that he heard them while his father ran.

Why exactly was he running. How far ahead was this kid thinking?

He was thining of the past. Me thinks the kid had some demeaning experience in Juvy.

and and

Stand your ground?

Meh, could have been worse.

The Bridge; you never built it, Dad.

Yep, guessed it.

FTFA: "The two apparently shared a strained relationship."

Ya think?????

who would want to own a pistol newer than 1900?? u need a license for that shiat

That's why if I ever have a son, I'm going to name him...Bill, or Bob, or George....ANYTHING but Artavous!

/The Boy Named Sue joke less traveled

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Sybarite: I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

My name is Sue, How do you do?

Well in this case Artavious, but either way, the dad had it coming

Bit'O'Gristle: Now, 16-year-old Artavious B. Malone, of Wellington, is charged with attempted murder and illegal possession of a firearm, according to an arrest report from the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office.

/See? That's where you farked up dad. You gave him the wrong name. It was supposed to be Ardvarkious.
//get real. or gtfo.

Not amused:

TFA: The two apparently shared a strained relationship.

I'd never have guessed.

cgraves67


Smartest
Funniest

2012-12-06 12:37:34 PM

Well, I'm glad the boy named Sue angle has been covered, carry on


My Wayward Son..

I saw an article somewhere the other day that said Johnny Cash didn't write "A Boy Named Sue" but it was actually written by Shel Silverstein, the comic strip artist for Playboy. I'll bet nobody else knew that.

kendelrio: FTFA: "The two apparently shared a strained relationship."

Ya think?????



\came here to do this, you did half the work for me. thanks.

The best part is 97% of Fark members vote for the candidate that all members of this family wanted.

To The Escape Zeppelin!: "Archie said his relationship with Artavious has been hostile since he sent him to a juvenile center for his behavior a few years ago," Well at least dad realized his son had problems early.

Refreshing departure from the angelic child theme.

Give the dad a break with the name Artavious. Around 16 years ago there was a reprise of I, Claudius on PBS that he was probably really into.

Uchiha_Cycliste: kendelrio: FTFA: "The two apparently shared a strained relationship."

Ya think?????

[i0.kym-cdn.com image 273x200]

\came here to do this, you did half the work for me. thanks.

No problem! Posted from my phone so it would have been a PITA

/stupid phone
//Internet fist bump

twiztedjustin: The best part is 97% of Fark members vote for the candidate that all members of this family wanted.

0/10. You clowns aren't even trying to be creative any more.

Sometimes that encounter never happens and after 24 years of nothing someone spends every night crying themselves to sleep.

/it's not me, it's a friend of mine
//i'm fine

Dad never should have yelled at the son: "Who's your daddy?"

When in doubt, shoot it out

I think that by naming him Antivirus his father was trying to ease his sons entry into lucrative IT field.

/Prettty sure that's it.

To The Escape Zeppelin!: Also since when are 16 year olds even allowed in the liquor store?

I came to ask this question. Sadly, I strongly suspect that in certain neighborhoods which lack societal norms for behavior, proper role models and law enforcement, cash is the only form of ID requested in liquor stores.

skink: That's why if I ever have a son, I'm going to name him...Bill, or Bob, or George....ANYTHING but Artavous!

/The Boy Named Sue joke less traveled

Just don't make his middle name Wayne...No matter what...

offacue: I saw an article somewhere the other day that said Johnny Cash didn't write "A Boy Named Sue" but it was actually written by Shel Silverstein, the comic strip artist for Playboy. I'll bet nobody else knew that.

Didnt that person make the Berenstein Bears? You know, the jewish bears in the woods.

Diogenes: That's when the gunplay started, the report said, with the son firing four or five shots at his dad.

Gunplay always sounds so lighthearted and whimsical.

So does "Artavious". Kind of like a character from a Christmas play.

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Sybarite: I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

My name is Sue, How do you do?

Now you're gonna die!

I feel weird that no ones been in a Liquor Store before. You can buy gum and soda at a Liquor Store.

lupe121283: You can buy gum and soda at a Liquor Store.

How about Skittles?

FTFA: "The son said he didn't fire the shots, but that he heard them while his father ran."

I bet that sounded like a better excuse in your head...

I find it strange that Mr. Malone is identified as the younger Malone's "biological dad".

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

This is terribly relevant here, but it is related:

I happened upon an episode of one of Dr. Drew's many television shows the other day. Apparently, it's really common for adopted children and their biological parents to become sexually attracted to each other if/when they reunite later in life. The examples on the show were opposite sex, but this is what I thought when I read the headline.

Stone Meadow: To The Escape Zeppelin!: Also since when are 16 year olds even allowed in the liquor store?

I came to ask this question. Sadly, I strongly suspect that in certain neighborhoods which lack societal norms for behavior, proper role models and law enforcement, cash is the only form of ID requested in liquor stores.

I imagine you guys are from one of the 18 Alcoholic beverage control states. Florida isn't one. Here in California there's hardly a difference between a 7-11 and a liquor store. I've been going to them since I was a little kid. I just ran into a liquor store with my six year old last weekend to grab an apple juice.