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   A lot of times, when a long-lost father and son reunite someplace unexpectedly, they find years of mistrust and and hard feelings just melt away. Other times, that encounter happens in a liquor store in Florida

06 Dec 2012 12:35 PM   |   9942 clicks   |   Sun Sentinel
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Diogenes    [TotalFark]  
That's when the gunplay started, the report said, with the son firing four or five shots at his dad.

Gunplay always sounds so lighthearted and whimsical.

06 Dec 2012 09:22 AM
Sybarite    [TotalFark]  
I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

06 Dec 2012 09:23 AM
The Stealth Hippopotamus    [TotalFark]  

Sybarite: I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.


My name is Sue, How do you do?

06 Dec 2012 09:42 AM
AbbeySomeone     

Diogenes: That's when the gunplay started, the report said, with the son firing four or five shots at his dad.

Gunplay always sounds so lighthearted and whimsical.


I imagine the scene was well choreographed.

He's most likely pissed off at being named Artavious.

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Sybarite: I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

My name is Sue, How do you do?


Yep.

06 Dec 2012 10:09 AM
Apos     
Artavious was determined to have his vengeance outside that liquor store. Or the next.

06 Dec 2012 11:22 AM
jmadisonbiii     

AbbeySomeone: Diogenes: That's when the gunplay started, the report said, with the son firing four or five shots at his dad.

Gunplay always sounds so lighthearted and whimsical.

I imagine the scene was well choreographed.

He's most likely pissed off at being named Artavious.

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Sybarite: I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

My name is Sue ARTAVIOUS, How do you do?

Yep.


FTFY

06 Dec 2012 11:50 AM
gopher321    [TotalFark]  
"Father?"

"Yes, son?"

"I want to kill you..."


/The End, The Doors

06 Dec 2012 12:11 PM
cgraves67     
Well, I'm glad the boy named Sue angle has been covered, carry on.

06 Dec 2012 12:37 PM
Bit'O'Gristle     
Now, 16-year-old Artavious B. Malone, of Wellington, is charged with attempted murder and illegal possession of a firearm, according to an arrest report from the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office.

/See? That's where you farked up dad. You gave him the wrong name. It was supposed to be Ardvarkious.
//get real. or gtfo.

06 Dec 2012 12:37 PM
iheartscotch     

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Sybarite: I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

My name is Sue, How do you do?


Life ain't easy for a boy named sue.

06 Dec 2012 12:39 PM
Abuse Liability     
FTFA:The son told deputies that his dad smacked him in the face inside the liquor store, the report said. The son said he didn't fire the shots, but that he heard them while his father ran.

Why exactly was he running. How far ahead was this kid thinking?

06 Dec 2012 12:40 PM
To The Escape Zeppelin!     
"Archie said his relationship with Artavious has been hostile since he sent him to a juvenile center for his behavior a few years ago," Well at least dad realized his son had problems early.

Also since when are 16 year olds even allowed in the liquor store?

06 Dec 2012 12:45 PM
Louisiana_Sitar_Club     

Diogenes: That's when the gunplay started, the report said, with the son firing four or five shots at his dad.

Gunplay always sounds so lighthearted and whimsical.


When I hear that phrase I always think of the houselights dimming and hushed voices.
"Shhhhh... The gun play's about to start."

06 Dec 2012 12:46 PM
StoPPeRmobile     

Abuse Liability: FTFA:The son told deputies that his dad smacked him in the face inside the liquor store, the report said. The son said he didn't fire the shots, but that he heard them while his father ran.

Why exactly was he running. How far ahead was this kid thinking?


He was thining of the past. Me thinks the kid had some demeaning experience in Juvy.

06 Dec 2012 12:46 PM
GandalfTheWhite     
and and

06 Dec 2012 12:46 PM
FLMountainMan     
Stand your ground?

06 Dec 2012 12:47 PM
Munchkin City Coroner     
cdn2.mamapop.comView Full Size


Meh, could have been worse.

06 Dec 2012 12:49 PM
Odd Bird     
The Bridge; you never built it, Dad.

06 Dec 2012 12:49 PM
bikerbob59     
Yep, guessed it.

06 Dec 2012 12:51 PM
kendelrio     
FTFA: "The two apparently shared a strained relationship."

Ya think?????

06 Dec 2012 01:04 PM
Jon iz teh kewl     
who would want to own a pistol newer than 1900?? u need a license for that shiat

www.freejohnnydare.comView Full Size

06 Dec 2012 01:06 PM
skink     
That's why if I ever have a son, I'm going to name him...Bill, or Bob, or George....ANYTHING but Artavous!

/The Boy Named Sue joke less traveled

06 Dec 2012 01:07 PM
Magorn    [TotalFark]  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Sybarite: I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

My name is Sue, How do you do?


Well in this case Artavious, but either way, the dad had it coming

06 Dec 2012 01:10 PM
Magorn    [TotalFark]  

Bit'O'Gristle: Now, 16-year-old Artavious B. Malone, of Wellington, is charged with attempted murder and illegal possession of a firearm, according to an arrest report from the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office.

/See? That's where you farked up dad. You gave him the wrong name. It was supposed to be Ardvarkious.
//get real. or gtfo.


Not amused:

06 Dec 2012 01:13 PM
evaned     
TFA: The two apparently shared a strained relationship.

I'd never have guessed.

06 Dec 2012 01:21 PM
BlackMtnMan     
cgraves67


Smartest
Funniest

2012-12-06 12:37:34 PM

Well, I'm glad the boy named Sue angle has been covered, carry on


My Wayward Son..

06 Dec 2012 01:24 PM
offacue    [TotalFark]  
I saw an article somewhere the other day that said Johnny Cash didn't write "A Boy Named Sue" but it was actually written by Shel Silverstein, the comic strip artist for Playboy. I'll bet nobody else knew that.

06 Dec 2012 01:24 PM
Uchiha_Cycliste     

kendelrio: FTFA: "The two apparently shared a strained relationship."

Ya think?????


i0.kym-cdn.comView Full Size


\came here to do this, you did half the work for me. thanks.

06 Dec 2012 01:26 PM
twiztedjustin     
The best part is 97% of Fark members vote for the candidate that all members of this family wanted.

06 Dec 2012 01:27 PM
kombat_unit     

To The Escape Zeppelin!: "Archie said his relationship with Artavious has been hostile since he sent him to a juvenile center for his behavior a few years ago," Well at least dad realized his son had problems early.


Refreshing departure from the angelic child theme.

06 Dec 2012 01:27 PM
lelio     
Give the dad a break with the name Artavious. Around 16 years ago there was a reprise of I, Claudius on PBS that he was probably really into.

06 Dec 2012 01:28 PM
kendelrio     

Uchiha_Cycliste: kendelrio: FTFA: "The two apparently shared a strained relationship."

Ya think?????

[i0.kym-cdn.com image 273x200]

\came here to do this, you did half the work for me. thanks.


No problem! Posted from my phone so it would have been a PITA

/stupid phone
//Internet fist bump

06 Dec 2012 01:33 PM
puckrock2000     

twiztedjustin: The best part is 97% of Fark members vote for the candidate that all members of this family wanted.


0/10. You clowns aren't even trying to be creative any more.

06 Dec 2012 01:41 PM
deanis     
Sometimes that encounter never happens and after 24 years of nothing someone spends every night crying themselves to sleep.

/it's not me, it's a friend of mine
//i'm fine

06 Dec 2012 01:41 PM
boinkingbill     
Dad never should have yelled at the son: "Who's your daddy?"

06 Dec 2012 01:42 PM
zerkalo     
When in doubt, shoot it out

06 Dec 2012 01:44 PM
Goetz     
I think that by naming him Antivirus his father was trying to ease his sons entry into lucrative IT field.

/Prettty sure that's it.

06 Dec 2012 01:45 PM
Stone Meadow     

To The Escape Zeppelin!: Also since when are 16 year olds even allowed in the liquor store?


I came to ask this question. Sadly, I strongly suspect that in certain neighborhoods which lack societal norms for behavior, proper role models and law enforcement, cash is the only form of ID requested in liquor stores.

06 Dec 2012 01:49 PM
Mr. Shabooboo     

skink: That's why if I ever have a son, I'm going to name him...Bill, or Bob, or George....ANYTHING but Artavous!

/The Boy Named Sue joke less traveled


Just don't make his middle name Wayne...No matter what...

06 Dec 2012 01:50 PM
Doom MD     

offacue: I saw an article somewhere the other day that said Johnny Cash didn't write "A Boy Named Sue" but it was actually written by Shel Silverstein, the comic strip artist for Playboy. I'll bet nobody else knew that.


Didnt that person make the Berenstein Bears? You know, the jewish bears in the woods.

06 Dec 2012 01:51 PM
zabadu     

Diogenes: That's when the gunplay started, the report said, with the son firing four or five shots at his dad.

Gunplay always sounds so lighthearted and whimsical.


So does "Artavious". Kind of like a character from a Christmas play.

06 Dec 2012 01:52 PM
zabadu     

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Sybarite: I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

My name is Sue, How do you do?


Now you're gonna die!

06 Dec 2012 01:54 PM
lupe121283     
I feel weird that no ones been in a Liquor Store before. You can buy gum and soda at a Liquor Store.

06 Dec 2012 02:02 PM
Stone Meadow     

lupe121283: You can buy gum and soda at a Liquor Store.


How about Skittles?

06 Dec 2012 02:04 PM
numbone     
rlv.zcache.comView Full Size

06 Dec 2012 02:04 PM
pseudoscience     
FTFA: "The son said he didn't fire the shots, but that he heard them while his father ran."

I bet that sounded like a better excuse in your head...

06 Dec 2012 02:09 PM
wellreadneck    [TotalFark]  
I find it strange that Mr. Malone is identified as the younger Malone's "biological dad".

06 Dec 2012 02:22 PM
JohnCarter     
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

06 Dec 2012 02:48 PM
NorCalLos     
This is terribly relevant here, but it is related:

I happened upon an episode of one of Dr. Drew's many television shows the other day. Apparently, it's really common for adopted children and their biological parents to become sexually attracted to each other if/when they reunite later in life. The examples on the show were opposite sex, but this is what I thought when I read the headline.

06 Dec 2012 02:58 PM
Spam Pajamas     

Stone Meadow: To The Escape Zeppelin!: Also since when are 16 year olds even allowed in the liquor store?

I came to ask this question. Sadly, I strongly suspect that in certain neighborhoods which lack societal norms for behavior, proper role models and law enforcement, cash is the only form of ID requested in liquor stores.


I imagine you guys are from one of the 18 Alcoholic beverage control states. Florida isn't one. Here in California there's hardly a difference between a 7-11 and a liquor store. I've been going to them since I was a little kid. I just ran into a liquor store with my six year old last weekend to grab an apple juice.

06 Dec 2012 03:00 PM
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