WATERBURY, CT (WFSB) -

A Naugatuck man was arrested after being accused of poisoning the oatmeal of his former boss, causing him to become severely sick.


Skin him and make a Nauga-hide lampshade.

The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)

What a dryer might look like:


What an adjective pertaining to the moisture content of food might look like: drier.

Why would you admit to that? Unless they go all CSI on you, determine the speed dry was purchased at a specific store in the past 6 months and that store has video footage of you buying it, they can't prove nothin!

Approves

/just as long as he gets some hot water, too.

the weight of his mullet caused poor brain function.

I like this sentence

"The oatmeal has been seized as evidence to be analyzed, police said."

HAND OVER THE OATMEAL AND NOBODY HAS TO GET HURT!

Cewley: the weight of his mullet caused poor brain function.

POWER MULLET!

CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)

Incest in Connecticut? If she were 17, this article would have been a much different read even though the act would have likely been the same.

selrays: CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)

Incest in Connecticut? If she were 17, this article would have been a much different read even though the act would have likely been the same.

From what I read she was 16 so the charges are probably statutory rape and child pornography

CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)

Even apart from the incest, that's one of the most disgusting looking couples I've ever seen.

All_Farked_Up: selrays: CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)

Incest in Connecticut? If she were 17, this article would have been a much different read even though the act would have likely been the same.

From what I read she was 16 so the charges are probably statutory rape and child pornography

They are being charged with distributing child pornography of an x-girlfriend of the daughter that was made while the x-girlfriend was underage. Then in addition they are charged with incest. You can't make this stuff up.

FTA: "The oatmeal has been seized as evidence to be analyzed, police said."

...he already admitted to lacing it. Why is analyzing it further needed (besides being an excuse for the crime lab to use it's toys)?

cyks: FTA: "The oatmeal has been seized as evidence to be analyzed, police said."

...he already admitted to lacing it. Why is analyzing it further needed (besides being an excuse for the crime lab to use it's toys)?

Because he could recant his confession before the trial.

There once was a man from Naugatuck?

Poison? Amateur.

 

/Hot like teacher

Englebert Slaptyback: WATERBURY, CT (WFSB) -

A Naugatuck man was arrested after being accused of poisoning the oatmeal of his former boss, causing him to become severely sick.


Skin him and make a Nauga-hide lampshade.

This

CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)



LOL the dad.

I hate it when websites think that they have to redirect to the main page when showing the mobile version if the website. Article? What farking article?

/grumble grumble

The oatmeal has been seized as evidence to be analyzed, police said.

lol

offmymeds: CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)

[wfsb.images.worldnow.com image 850x425]

LOL the dad.

did they arrest him in the middle of a haircut?

FatMason:

/grumble grumble

Oh, FFS.

Isildur: Oh, FFS.
[imgs.xkcd.com image 740x199]

As a frequent phone Farker (as in someone who peruses Fark on their phone, note the capital) this used to be the bane of my existence.

Not sure why the headline made me think of this...



Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home

To be fair, the rat poison box does look a lot like Skinny and Sweet

poindxtr: [lh4.googleusercontent.com image 250x250]

Approves

/just as long as he gets some hot water, too.

came for Takei, leaving satisfied

WATERBURY, CT (WFSB) - A Naugatuck man was arrested after being accused of poisoning the oatmeal of his former boss, causing him to become severely sick.

William Lampron, 43, of Naugatuck, turned himself in to Waterbury police Wednesday.

Police said the boss began experiencing severe stomach pain after eating oatmeal that he kept in a canister in his desk. He said he checked the oatmeal and found what he believed to be SpeedyDry mixed in with the oats.

SpeedyDry is a granular substance used to soak up liquid spills such as water, oil and antifreeze.

Criminals have now dubbed this technique the "Lampron Tampon".

hstein3: Poison? Amateur.

[farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x375] 

/Hot like teacher

You know, I never noticed before, but doesn't that look a lot like Paul Ryan? IIRC that episode was made some years ago though, so probably coincidental.


havocmike: offmymeds: CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)

[wfsb.images.worldnow.com image 850x425]

LOL the dad.

did they arrest him in the middle of a haircut?


A haircut in the late Middle Ages? He looks like he has the plague or some sort of horrible pox, with those forehead boils.