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   Hmm, my oatmeal seems a bit dryer than normal this morning

06 Dec 2012 11:18 AM   |   10472 clicks   |   WFSB Connecticut
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Englebert Slaptyback     

WATERBURY, CT (WFSB) -

A Naugatuck man was arrested after being accused of poisoning the oatmeal of his former boss, causing him to become severely sick.


Skin him and make a Nauga-hide lampshade.

06 Dec 2012 11:20 AM
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CrimsonMeerkat     
The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)

06 Dec 2012 11:24 AM
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TabASlotB     
What a dryer might look like:
www.a1appliancerescue.com

What an adjective pertaining to the moisture content of food might look like: drier.

06 Dec 2012 11:28 AM
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twiztedjustin     
Why would you admit to that? Unless they go all CSI on you, determine the speed dry was purchased at a specific store in the past 6 months and that store has video footage of you buying it, they can't prove nothin!

06 Dec 2012 11:29 AM
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poindxtr     
lh4.googleusercontent.com

Approves

/just as long as he gets some hot water, too.

06 Dec 2012 11:30 AM
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Cewley    [TotalFark]  
the weight of his mullet caused poor brain function.

06 Dec 2012 11:33 AM
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Incog_Neeto     
I like this sentence

"The oatmeal has been seized as evidence to be analyzed, police said."

HAND OVER THE OATMEAL AND NOBODY HAS TO GET HURT!

06 Dec 2012 11:33 AM
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JRoo     
i21.photobucket.com

06 Dec 2012 11:34 AM
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Grapple     

Cewley: the weight of his mullet caused poor brain function.


POWER MULLET!

06 Dec 2012 11:34 AM
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selrays     

CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)


Incest in Connecticut? If she were 17, this article would have been a much different read even though the act would have likely been the same.

06 Dec 2012 11:39 AM
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All_Farked_Up     

selrays: CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)

Incest in Connecticut? If she were 17, this article would have been a much different read even though the act would have likely been the same.


From what I read she was 16 so the charges are probably statutory rape and child pornography

06 Dec 2012 11:41 AM
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SlagginOff     

CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)


Even apart from the incest, that's one of the most disgusting looking couples I've ever seen.

06 Dec 2012 11:42 AM
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Incog_Neeto     

All_Farked_Up: selrays: CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)

Incest in Connecticut? If she were 17, this article would have been a much different read even though the act would have likely been the same.

From what I read she was 16 so the charges are probably statutory rape and child pornography


They are being charged with distributing child pornography of an x-girlfriend of the daughter that was made while the x-girlfriend was underage. Then in addition they are charged with incest. You can't make this stuff up.

06 Dec 2012 11:45 AM
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cyks     
FTA: "The oatmeal has been seized as evidence to be analyzed, police said."

...he already admitted to lacing it. Why is analyzing it further needed (besides being an excuse for the crime lab to use it's toys)?

06 Dec 2012 11:53 AM
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Lord Dimwit     

cyks: FTA: "The oatmeal has been seized as evidence to be analyzed, police said."

...he already admitted to lacing it. Why is analyzing it further needed (besides being an excuse for the crime lab to use it's toys)?


Because he could recant his confession before the trial.

06 Dec 2012 12:01 PM
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trappedspirit     
There once was a man from Naugatuck?

06 Dec 2012 12:10 PM
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hstein3     
Poison? Amateur.

farm4.static.flickr.com 

/Hot like teacher

06 Dec 2012 12:14 PM
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Clemkadidlefark     

Englebert Slaptyback: WATERBURY, CT (WFSB) -

A Naugatuck man was arrested after being accused of poisoning the oatmeal of his former boss, causing him to become severely sick.


Skin him and make a Nauga-hide lampshade.


This

06 Dec 2012 12:14 PM
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offmymeds     

CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)


wfsb.images.worldnow.com

LOL the dad.

06 Dec 2012 12:35 PM
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FatMason     
I hate it when websites think that they have to redirect to the main page when showing the mobile version if the website. Article? What farking article?

/grumble grumble

06 Dec 2012 12:52 PM
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twobux     
The oatmeal has been seized as evidence to be analyzed, police said.

lol

06 Dec 2012 01:24 PM
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havocmike     

offmymeds: CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)

[wfsb.images.worldnow.com image 850x425]

LOL the dad.


did they arrest him in the middle of a haircut?

06 Dec 2012 01:26 PM
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twiztedjustin     

FatMason:

/grumble grumble




i.imgur.com

06 Dec 2012 01:32 PM
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Isildur     
Oh, FFS.
imgs.xkcd.com

06 Dec 2012 01:46 PM
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GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve     

Isildur: Oh, FFS.
[imgs.xkcd.com image 740x199]


As a frequent phone Farker (as in someone who peruses Fark on their phone, note the capital) this used to be the bane of my existence.

06 Dec 2012 02:00 PM
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blatz514    [TotalFark]  
Not sure why the headline made me think of this...

s3-ak.buzzfed.com

Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home

06 Dec 2012 02:05 PM
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SomethingToDo    [TotalFark]  
s3.amazonaws.com

06 Dec 2012 02:44 PM
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Mega Steve     
To be fair, the rat poison box does look a lot like Skinny and Sweet

06 Dec 2012 03:51 PM
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Madame Psychosis    [TotalFark]  

poindxtr: [lh4.googleusercontent.com image 250x250]

Approves

/just as long as he gets some hot water, too.


came for Takei, leaving satisfied

06 Dec 2012 04:09 PM
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Anagrammer     
WATERBURY, CT (WFSB) - A Naugatuck man was arrested after being accused of poisoning the oatmeal of his former boss, causing him to become severely sick.

William Lampron, 43, of Naugatuck, turned himself in to Waterbury police Wednesday.

Police said the boss began experiencing severe stomach pain after eating oatmeal that he kept in a canister in his desk. He said he checked the oatmeal and found what he believed to be SpeedyDry mixed in with the oats.

SpeedyDry is a granular substance used to soak up liquid spills such as water, oil and antifreeze.


Criminals have now dubbed this technique the "Lampron Tampon".

06 Dec 2012 08:53 PM
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Isildur     

hstein3: Poison? Amateur.

[farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x375] 

/Hot like teacher


You know, I never noticed before, but doesn't that look a lot like Paul Ryan? IIRC that episode was made some years ago though, so probably coincidental.


havocmike: offmymeds: CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)

[wfsb.images.worldnow.com image 850x425]

LOL the dad.

did they arrest him in the middle of a haircut?



A haircut in the late Middle Ages? He looks like he has the plague or some sort of horrible pox, with those forehead boils.

06 Dec 2012 10:27 PM
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