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   Much of the nation's capital was late to work today because a pineapple truck overturned. Really

06 Dec 2012 03:53 PM   |   3225 clicks   |   Washington Post
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Snarfangel     
The nation's piña colada inventory is at critical levels!

06 Dec 2012 12:05 PM
vernonFL    [TotalFark]  
That stretch of 495 is a parking lot every morning anyways. A 9 mile backup is only about a mile or two more of a backup than usual.

06 Dec 2012 12:52 PM
Walker    [TotalFark]  
Happens almost every day. Idiot truck drivers with heavy loads taking turns too quickly.

06 Dec 2012 12:58 PM
bdub77    [TotalFark]  
How is nothing happening any different than any other day in Washington DC?

06 Dec 2012 01:10 PM
Endive Wombat    [TotalFark]  
Thank God I no longer have to commute in or around the beltway. I now work 4 miles from where I live. Yeah buddy!

06 Dec 2012 01:16 PM
wambu     
A possile Hawaiian branch of al-Queda?

IS NOTHING SACRED?

06 Dec 2012 01:32 PM
Diogenes    [TotalFark]  
I hate when my financial assets are late.

06 Dec 2012 01:32 PM
twobux     
I guess the gentleman from Hawaii didn't yield.

06 Dec 2012 01:38 PM
Apos     
Authorities are investigating whether reckless driving or speeding was a factor in the incident.

t.qkme.meView Full Size

06 Dec 2012 01:42 PM
gopher321    [TotalFark]  
I blame (Bob) Dole.

06 Dec 2012 01:50 PM
Lsherm    [TotalFark]  

Walker: Happens almost every day. Idiot truck drivers with heavy loads taking turns too quickly.


I used to have to drive up 95 from Richmond to DC three times a week and once a month, always on a straight stretch of road, a minivan would be sitting on the side of the road, completely upside-down. Usually with a family standing next to it.

That always made me wonder what's so special about minivans that you can flip them on a straight section of road. It's not like they have a very high center of gravity.

06 Dec 2012 02:47 PM
SilentStrider    [TotalFark]  

vernonFL: That stretch of 495 is a parking lot every morning anyways. A 9 mile backup is only about a mile or two more of a backup than usual.


Thank god I don't live in that area. I'd have killed someone before a month was out.

06 Dec 2012 02:57 PM
doyner    [TotalFark]  

SilentStrider: vernonFL: That stretch of 495 is a parking lot every morning anyways. A 9 mile backup is only about a mile or two more of a backup than usual.

Thank god I don't live in that area. I'd have killed someone before a month was out.


I was one of the folks late this morning because of it. I've been able to get rid of that stabby feeling of late by focusing the anger on plotting revenge on more discriminate sources of my ire.

06 Dec 2012 03:02 PM
Diogenes    [TotalFark]  
I was traveling to DC as a consultant for nearly 6 years. After my third trip I stopped renting a car.

06 Dec 2012 03:15 PM
Ebenator    [TotalFark]  
495 is an enormous biatch to drive under the best conditions.

06 Dec 2012 03:55 PM
miniflea     
I remember a few years ago the whole area was totally gridlocked, down to the side roads in front of my house, because some dipshiat was threatening to jump off a bridge. I also remember the beyond insane traffic during the more recent snowstorm was the first time I've seen a burned out abandoned car in real life.

06 Dec 2012 03:56 PM
gochuck     
Work in the district? Live in the district. 3 miles, door to door, easy to bike, use metro, or in nice weather, walk.

06 Dec 2012 03:59 PM
SGRick     
psychpineapple.comView Full Size


Wanted for questioning

06 Dec 2012 03:59 PM
residentgeek     
I can just hear CJ Cregg complaining to Toby about it.

06 Dec 2012 04:00 PM
Nakaimas     
Pineapple upsidedown, brakes

06 Dec 2012 04:02 PM
my_cats_breath_smells_like_cat_food    [TotalFark]  
But But But...HOT LANES!

06 Dec 2012 04:02 PM
CheatCommando     

Diogenes: I was traveling to DC as a consultant for nearly 6 years. After my third trip I stopped renting a car.


I live here. I stopped owning one and moved to a building that is practically on top of a Metro station and has a Safeway on the 1st floor.

06 Dec 2012 04:02 PM
HawkEyes     
Early Friday morning? Is this from the future?

06 Dec 2012 04:08 PM
carrion_luggage     
Yet it smelled like a coconut truck overturned. Yay science!

06 Dec 2012 04:08 PM
amquelbettamin     
I call BS.
Do you think I just fell off the turnip truck?

06 Dec 2012 04:08 PM
Maud Dib     

Nakaimas: Pineapple upsidedown, brakes


Simply brilliant.

*clicks funny tab* 

06 Dec 2012 04:08 PM
A Shambling Mound     

Lsherm: Walker: Happens almost every day. Idiot truck drivers with heavy loads taking turns too quickly.

I used to have to drive up 95 from Richmond to DC three times a week and once a month, always on a straight stretch of road, a minivan would be sitting on the side of the road, completely upside-down. Usually with a family standing next to it.

That always made me wonder what's so special about minivans that you can flip them on a straight section of road. It's not like they have a very high center of gravity.


It's not just minivans and not just that section of road.

I routinely see single vehicles of all makes upside-down on a straight section of road I drive every day. Twice people have tumbled cars through the bus stop on that road, killing a number of people. There's a fence along the road that often has holes in it from careening automobiles. I've seen five light poles taken down by one-car accidents in the last two years alone.

It's a two-lane surface road with stoplights at regular intervals and the posted speed limit is 35.

People are idiots. People with cars are incredibly dangerous idiots.

06 Dec 2012 04:09 PM
cajunns     
Who worries about pina coladas i only drink rum and coke
and maybe a good Canadian Beer

06 Dec 2012 04:10 PM
Fark Rye For Many Whores     
Remember my fellow Farkers, before you disclaim against the pineapple. The lowly pineapple, who does not decide his own fate: let us not curse the pineapple people themselves.

In the Kingdom of Pineapple we have an oppressive government which forces them to worship the Kumquat no matter the pineapples' real beliefs of faith. And cuts off their leaves instead of leaving them dressed as they naturally are.
www.fullpassport.comView Full Size


And all this, the American greengrocer helps by sending the Royal Pineapple family money to buy their common citizens, FOR US TO EAT. Can you imagine how you'd feel? Your children are being eaten. What do you do? The few children you had left would go throw themselves against the wheels of our system, to stop the trucks of the oppressive American Greengrocer's Association. You know they would.
www.metrobusinessmedia.comView Full Size


So let us remember that although they are funny colored on the outside, and really on the inside, and there's all kinds of other... yeah nevermind, THEY ARE STILL EUKARYOTES. They are our brothers and sisters! They even have gender! And our shared enemy is the Pineapple government. END AMERICAN SUPPORT FOR THE PINEAPPLE OF TERROR.
media-cdn.tripadvisor.comView Full Size

06 Dec 2012 04:10 PM
SlothB77    [TotalFark]  
how will this effect frozen concentrated orange pineapple juice futures contracts?

06 Dec 2012 04:12 PM
luktti     
That driver is "THE MAN" if he could get 70,000 lbs. of produce in that trailer.

Must be vehicle gross wt.

DC sucks to drive around anyway. 80 mile radius.

06 Dec 2012 04:12 PM
DoctorHowardDoctorFine     
You can't fool me, nobody works in the nation's capital!

06 Dec 2012 04:14 PM
xxmedium     
i.imgur.comView Full Size



Mrs. Rabbit, you dumb bi... er... bunny.

06 Dec 2012 04:16 PM
Rabbitgod     

wambu: A possile Hawaiian branch of al-Queda?

IS NOTHING SACRED?


ObamaTrollFace.jpg

06 Dec 2012 04:21 PM
mekkab     
my_cats_breath_smells_like_cat_food : But But But...HOT LANES!

Yes; if the HOT lanes stretched back this far (as the plan is) drivers could have the opportunity to pay their way out of it.

/HOT laned to 66 at 11:45 in the morning last Thursday.... by the time I passed Tysons I realized it was the best $0.8 I've ever spent in my life.
//I mean, seriously. WTH can you get for 80 cents?!

06 Dec 2012 04:31 PM
farkingismybusiness     
i2.crtcdn1.netView Full Size

Last seen taking the Pineapple Express.

06 Dec 2012 04:38 PM
MBooda     
I hope they read the driver his Carmen Miranda rights.

06 Dec 2012 05:10 PM
rogue49     
Yep, the ONE day I decide to drive into work instead of taking the MARC...

06 Dec 2012 05:36 PM
shanteyman     
Thank god I don't live in that area. I'd have killed someone before a month was out.

This is why I moved to the Eastern Shore. I lived 18 miles from work and it regulary took me 45 minutes to an hour to get to work. If anything happened on the Beltway, you'd add another 30 minutes to that time. My commute, after moving, was 35 minutes of mostly open road driving ( until we get to Bowie ). Then it's a rolling back up until 410 ( the road , not the gun ), 65 minutes total .

These days I don't have to worry about it, now working in Annapolis.

06 Dec 2012 05:59 PM
pag1107    [TotalFark]  
I drive us1 to us29 every morning. Its always a crawl. This morning wasn't much different.

06 Dec 2012 08:32 PM
WordsnCollision     
Uh, those weren't pineapples...

1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size


/They're here already! You're next! You're next! You're next!

06 Dec 2012 08:35 PM
dbho    [TotalFark]  
Oh no! How will Lucy get a pineapple for her father's birthday! Oh well, guess they will pick one out for Thanksgiving.

06 Dec 2012 08:43 PM
pmmal     
Shawn and Gus: check.
Dole: check.

The gentleman from Hawaii did not yield? Richard Scarry??

[Epicthread.jpg]

/that's 150% motherfarker

06 Dec 2012 09:19 PM
Sim Tree    [TotalFark]  
Once, in Alexandria, they were digging a great hole in the road to put in a water main. Cars would keep driving into the hole, and need towed out with a crane.

Now this was a pretty big hole. It look up a lane and a half cubed, and was surrounded by blinky trucks and traffic cones, urging all drivers to
{---- immediately.
You could also see THE GIANT HOLE FROM A BLOCK AND A HALF AWAY!

Nevertheless, every afternoon, there would be a different car in the hole, at a 270° angle, surrounded buy a bunch of teed workers and cops. Finally, they caged in the hole with a little grid of cop cars, all with their lights on, so it was impossible to drive into the hole without hitting a flashing cop car.

Some of you are already guessing what happened next.

It worked fine for several days or so, but... Yes, on the very last day of the project, someone drove perpendicularly out of their lane of traffic, and hit a sirening cop car. What. The. Hel.

06 Dec 2012 11:55 PM
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