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   Old & busted: wine snobs. New hotness: boxed wine snobs

08 Dec 2012 07:23 AM   |   3671 clicks   |   NPR
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vernonFL    [TotalFark]  
I do like the black box and bota box wines. Great for parties.

08 Dec 2012 07:25 AM
david_gaithersburg     
For god's sake. May as well mix up a batch of red kool-aid and bread crusts.

08 Dec 2012 07:28 AM
Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich     
The boxes Target sells are fairly decent, and, I know this might seem like a foreign idea on fark, but it's nice if you want to have a drink and not have to worry about finishing the bottle.

08 Dec 2012 07:34 AM
styckx    [TotalFark]  

david_gaithersburg: For god's sake. May as well mix up a batch of red kool-aid and bread crusts.

 

i.imgur.comView Full Size

08 Dec 2012 07:36 AM
Jesus Burnt My Hotdog     
There is nothing so vulgar in the world as cold red wine

08 Dec 2012 07:41 AM
spentshells     
Boxed wine is ok by me.

08 Dec 2012 07:42 AM
Abe Vigoda's Ghost    [TotalFark]  

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: The boxes Target sells are fairly decent, and, I know this might seem like a foreign idea on fark, but it's nice if you want to have a drink and not have to worry about finishing the bottle.


You do realize you can put the cork back into the top of the bottle.

08 Dec 2012 07:43 AM
Nick Nostril     
img534.imageshack.usView Full Size


What a box wine snob might look like.

08 Dec 2012 07:44 AM
dofus     

Jesus Burnt My Hotdog: There is nothing so vulgar in the world as cold red wine


A glass of milk with ice in it

08 Dec 2012 07:49 AM
p4p3rm4t3     
img41.imageshack.usView Full Size
 
My favorite wine label.

08 Dec 2012 07:54 AM
Mr. Ekshun     
Don't you think the "snob" label is a bit limiting? I mean, we don't want to put these people in a... um...

/Never mind.

08 Dec 2012 07:55 AM
KawaiiNot     

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: The boxes Target sells are fairly decent, and, I know this might seem like a foreign idea on fark, but it's nice if you want to have a drink and not have to worry about finishing the bottle.

You do realize you can put the cork back into the top of the bottle.


But the bottle of corked wine is off by day 3. With boxed wine it'll last for weeks.

08 Dec 2012 07:58 AM
Jesus Burnt My Hotdog     

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: You do realize you can put the cork back into the top of the bottle.


i2.kym-cdn.comView Full Size

08 Dec 2012 07:58 AM
foxyshadis     

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: The boxes Target sells are fairly decent, and, I know this might seem like a foreign idea on fark, but it's nice if you want to have a drink and not have to worry about finishing the bottle.

You do realize you can put the cork back into the top of the bottle.


You can also put the cap back on an unfinished beer. Both have about the same effect.

08 Dec 2012 07:59 AM
starsrift     

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: The boxes Target sells are fairly decent, and, I know this might seem like a foreign idea on fark, but it's nice if you want to have a drink and not have to worry about finishing the bottle.


wife-like typing detected

08 Dec 2012 08:03 AM
Mad Scientist     

Nick Nostril: [img534.imageshack.us image 600x450]

What a box wine snob might look like.


God, I hope that's wine.

08 Dec 2012 08:06 AM
Mad Scientist     

p4p3rm4t3: [img41.imageshack.us image 300x428] 
My favorite wine label.


This (maybe NSFW) is mine. It was, not surprisingly, banned by the Alabama alcohol control board.

08 Dec 2012 08:10 AM
Fromageball     
Did a lot of people miss this paragraph or something?

And while many of us would expect a vacuum-sealed bag to do a better job of keeping oxygen out than a breathable cork, it's not the case. The bag component of bag-in-box wines is made of a thin plastic polymer (polyethylene or polypropylene) that's actually pretty easy for oxygen to cross. Whereas "if you look at the glass bottle, the only way oxygen can get in is through the cork," says Hopfer.

08 Dec 2012 08:20 AM
Teknowaffle    [TotalFark]  

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: The boxes Target sells are fairly decent, and, I know this might seem like a foreign idea on fark, but it's nice if you want to have a drink and not have to worry about finishing the bottle.


True. Wine only turns to alcohol if you leave the bottle open all night.

08 Dec 2012 08:24 AM
Wolfmanjames    [TotalFark]  
Heh, heh, heh.

/Obscure?

08 Dec 2012 08:37 AM
Tarmangani     

dofus: Jesus Burnt My Hotdog: There is nothing so vulgar in the world as cold red wine

A glass of milk with ice in it


Making a sandwich and putting mustard directly on the cheese.

08 Dec 2012 08:59 AM
Sandusky Knows Best     
The wife and I love sneaking the box wine bladder into movie theaters. Better than bottles. You tip a bottle and the damn thing can be heard rolling down the theater floor

08 Dec 2012 09:30 AM
MayoBoy     
It's not boxed wine, it's Cardboardeaux

08 Dec 2012 09:40 AM
TofuTheAlmighty     
Boxed wine is a more efficient means of storing large volumes - materials are cheaper and the wine isn't exposed to air and allowed to oxidize.

But if you can't polish off a 750 mL bottle in a sitting, you need a better liver.

08 Dec 2012 09:58 AM
david_gaithersburg     
I find boxed white wine to be good for sanitizing the freshwater system in my RV.

08 Dec 2012 10:11 AM
El Pelon     
Boxed wine is great! It lets me do kinky shiat to the Mrs. after she drinks a few glasses...the again the next day!

/CSB...I know!
//perv

08 Dec 2012 10:40 AM
RogermcAllen     

Fromageball: Did a lot of people miss this paragraph or something?

And while many of us would expect a vacuum-sealed bag to do a better job of keeping oxygen out than a breathable cork, it's not the case. The bag component of bag-in-box wines is made of a thin plastic polymer (polyethylene or polypropylene) that's actually pretty easy for oxygen to cross. Whereas "if you look at the glass bottle, the only way oxygen can get in is through the cork," says Hopfer.


That might be a good argument if you aged a fine box wine in your cellar for years, but you don't. The amount of oxygen entering through the bag over the average shelf life of the box is almost certainly less than the amount of oxygen that gets into the wine from opening and recorking a bottle. I have nothing to cite to back my claim up, but as a non wine drinker I propose an experiment:

1. Buy a box of wine
2. Dispense 1 glass of wine into a container that can hold 2 glasses of wine, and seal it (this will simulate a half full bottle)
3. Wait 3 days and have someone serve you a glass of fresh boxed wine next to the wine from the container. Be sure that the other person randomly chooses which wine to give you.
4. Taste the difference

08 Dec 2012 10:43 AM
OnlyM3     
Abe Vigoda's Ghost

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: The boxes Target sells are fairly decent, and, I know this might seem like a foreign idea on fark, but it's nice if you want to have a drink and not have to worry about finishing the bottle.

You do realize you can put the cork back into the top of the bottle.

You do realize that helps very little. You already let in the oxidizing O2.

The benifit of the bag is that no air hits the wine.

As for wine snobbery... Study after study shows that you put a fancy label on the cheapest of table wines and EVERY SINGLE wine snob will be fooled. You're as silly as bottled water snobs.

08 Dec 2012 10:55 AM
JeffreyScott     

Fromageball: Did a lot of people miss this paragraph or something?

And while many of us would expect a vacuum-sealed bag to do a better job of keeping oxygen out than a breathable cork, it's not the case. The bag component of bag-in-box wines is made of a thin plastic polymer (polyethylene or polypropylene) that's actually pretty easy for oxygen to cross. Whereas "if you look at the glass bottle, the only way oxygen can get in is through the cork," says Hopfer.



FTA: Perhaps the more important finding is that at the colder temperature, boxed wine had basically aged the same as bottled wine.

Up article they mentioned the problems occur at 104 degrees, so it would seem when the author mentions "colder temperature" that they are mention temperatures outside the extreme range. Because most everyone has AC that is generally a non-issue expect during shipping, and only during the hottest parts of the country, and only for a short period of time each year. So this is basically a non-issue.


FTA: That's because companies have been layering different oxygen-stopping polymers over the initial breathable layer. "They've fine-tuned that bag for the wine industry," she says.

So the thin vacuum-sealed plastic bag does a poor job temperatures, especially at extreme tempatures, however the wine industry has addressed that issue by wrapping oxygen-stopping polymers over the breathable plastic, eliminating that issue. So this is basically a non-issue.


/poorly written article is poorly written

08 Dec 2012 11:02 AM
Satanic_Hamster     
Wine snob thread! Also, Fark party at Hamster's.

i58.photobucket.comView Full Size

08 Dec 2012 11:53 AM
spentshells     

Fromageball: Did a lot of people miss this paragraph or something?

And while many of us would expect a vacuum-sealed bag to do a better job of keeping oxygen out than a breathable cork, it's not the case. The bag component of bag-in-box wines is made of a thin plastic polymer (polyethylene or polypropylene) that's actually pretty easy for oxygen to cross. Whereas "if you look at the glass bottle, the only way oxygen can get in is through the cork," says Hopfer.


They stated that air passes through plastic quicker than glass not terribly surprised and yet cork releases more than plastic...... after that is all said and done it appears that all this stuff has been considerd yet the cork allows more air

08 Dec 2012 12:24 PM
thamike     

Boxed wine snobs?

1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size


I MAY REQUIRE THE ASSISTANCE OF A GOOD SAMARITAN,
AS I AM CURRENTLY TRAPPED IN THIS BOX
 

08 Dec 2012 12:29 PM
Professor Horatio Hufnagel     
I used to enjoy boxed wine for several reasons, mostly for the fact that it was the cheapest and most alcoholic of wines. Yet a sense of nostalgia permeated its lowbrow reputation. There were many drunken nights of debauched college parties involving an elegantly simplistic drinking game we called "slap bag", wherein participants would have to chug the bag for as long as anyone was slapping the bag. On one such occasion I chugged nearly two-thirds of a bag of wine...

About a year ago, however, my wife and I purchased a box of Franzia from the liquor store down the street. While attempting to extract the spout from the bottom of the box, we noticed that the nozzle was covered in what appeared to be tiny, dead maggots. We opened the box, and upon further inspection the entire inside of the bag was infested with these vulgar parasites.

We returned the box to the liquor store and demanded a refund, to which they willfully complied. It was the only time I returned booze. We used that refund to purchase a bottle of wine. Never again will I even consider purchasing wine in a container that I cannot see through first.

/COOL STORY BRO
//To be fair to the liquor store, the maggot infestation most likely occurred at the factory or whatever warehouse stored the box of Franzia.
///Sorry if I ruined boxed wine for youse.

08 Dec 2012 01:08 PM
Jedekai     

Nick Nostril: [img534.imageshack.us image 600x450]

What a box wine snob might look like.


We're going... SPACEBAGGING!

/Those look like the guys I did, and do, hang around with.
//BION: they're usually more successful than the people who went to college, got "good" jobs and wound up realizing they're never going to get anywhere. Mainly because they have a typified culture of self-motivation and doing what makes you happy. I still have to fix their computers on occasion. Self-employment and NOT GIVING A FARK will make you successful. Do Not Judge By Image - I assure you one of those guys makes better than $20/hour.

08 Dec 2012 02:03 PM
thamike     

Jedekai: Those look like the guys I did


I thought that sentence was heading in a completely different direction.

08 Dec 2012 02:06 PM
The One True TheDavid     

08 Dec 2012 02:56 PM
pedobearapproved     
F'ing hipsters!

08 Dec 2012 02:59 PM
rico567     

MayoBoy: It's not boxed wine, it's Cardboardeaux


You, sir, are a prince of language (raises glass).

08 Dec 2012 04:20 PM
rico567     
If we're looking at inexpensive wine (that's only seen stainless steel), then as far as I'm concerned, Franzia Merlot or Cabernet tastes a good as any other. When we're getting into the stuff that's been on wood, that's another story.

08 Dec 2012 04:25 PM
starsrift     

Satanic_Hamster: Wine snob thread! Also, Fark party at Hamster's.

[i58.photobucket.com image 850x637]


... Is that a bed in the foreground? You keep four shelving units worth of wine in your bedroom?
And I thought I lived ghetto. O.O

08 Dec 2012 10:10 PM
Mock26    [TotalFark]  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: The boxes Target sells are fairly decent, and, I know this might seem like a foreign idea on fark, but it's nice if you want to have a drink and not have to worry about finishing the bottle.

You do realize you can put the cork back into the top of the bottle.


Which really does nothing except to prevent the wine from spilling out. Oh, it also keeps bugs out of the bottle. Other than that, though, not a good way to keep the wine fresh.

08 Dec 2012 11:09 PM
Satanic_Hamster     

starsrift: ... Is that a bed in the foreground? You keep four shelving units worth of wine in your bedroom?
And I thought I lived ghetto. O.O


No, that's my guest bedroom.

08 Dec 2012 11:34 PM
belhade     
My mom keeps getting Franzia and not drinking it, so I have to. She shiat I put up with...

09 Dec 2012 11:38 AM
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