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   In the most hipster possible vehicular confrontation, cyclist stabs Smart Car driver for cutting him off in traffic

08 Dec 2012 08:23 AM   |   5112 clicks   |   NBC Washington
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doyner    [TotalFark]  
Subby should have used the "Sad" tab for it not being the cyclist...

08 Dec 2012 07:46 AM
FirstNationalBastard    [TotalFark]  
Now, if the Ambulance responding was a Hybrid, and the cop rolled to the scene on a Segway, the story will implode into a black hole of hipsterdom.

08 Dec 2012 07:57 AM
Ed Finnerty     

FirstNationalBastard: Now, if the Ambulance responding was a Hybrid, and the cop rolled to the scene on a Segway, the story will implode into a black hole of hipsterdom.


Especially if they used a Trader Joe's canvas bag as a tourniquet.

08 Dec 2012 08:25 AM
Enemabag Jones     
He could have been polite and simply splashed urine from his water bottler on the asshole driver.

08 Dec 2012 08:28 AM
JJR     
Oh no, this is just like the farmers versus the ranchers of 100 years ago.

08 Dec 2012 08:28 AM
abhorrent1     
important for bike riders to observe the rules of the road? Yeah, good luck with that. Douchbags

08 Dec 2012 08:31 AM
beta_plus     
A Knife?
You call that a Knife?
This is a knife, it's really obscure, you've probably never heard of it.

08 Dec 2012 08:39 AM
TheOther     
JJR: Oh no, this is just like the black bean farmers versus the free range chicken ranchers of 100 years ago.

FTFY

08 Dec 2012 08:39 AM
Burr     
Begun, the Hipster Wars have

08 Dec 2012 08:41 AM
vudukungfu     

beta_plus: A Knife?
You call that a Knife?
This is a knife, it's really obscure, you've probably never heard of it.


sinclair knife card
It's the one I use at the office.

08 Dec 2012 08:43 AM
He_Hate_Me     
i.chzbgr.comView Full Size

08 Dec 2012 08:47 AM
bump     
Lance Armstrong is doing ANYthing to stay in the public eye.... damn....

08 Dec 2012 08:54 AM
Claude Ballse     

beta_plus: A Knife?
You call that a Knife?
This is a knife, it's really obscure, you've probably never heard of it.


Actually, I knew about it before everyone else did.

/Off to eat some artisan shrimp that have been painstaking grilled on a vintage barbie that was crafted by peasant Asians leading a hardscrabble life, and was assembled using instructions printed on thin multiliguistal tomes that were precisely folded for proper inclusion.

//I'd invite you, but you probably don't know hot to appreciate food prepared on imported Chinese bamboo skewers.

08 Dec 2012 08:55 AM
Cupajo     
"The time change is just an important time for everybody to take a few extra minutes, take your time, look around, and make sure that if you're crossing bike lanes or crosswalks you're looking for everybody," Billing said. "Everybody's just trying to get home safe."

Seems to me like the article is placing blame on the guy who got stabbed.

08 Dec 2012 08:55 AM
poe_zlaw     

Ed Finnerty: FirstNationalBastard: Now, if the Ambulance responding was a Hybrid, and the cop rolled to the scene on a Segway, the story will implode into a black hole of hipsterdom.

Especially if they used a Trader Joe's canvas bag as a tourniquet.


No need for a canvas bag, they had two white belts available for a tourniquet.

08 Dec 2012 08:56 AM
wellreadneck    [TotalFark]  
I"m going with repurposed railroad spike.

08 Dec 2012 08:58 AM
sevenpointsixtwo     
That's what you get for not allowing CCW.

08 Dec 2012 09:00 AM
Oldiron_79     
You really shouldn't cut off larger vehicles than yourself, I mean that cycle could have crushed that smart like a beer can

08 Dec 2012 09:01 AM
The_Original_Roxtar     
yet another reason why cyclists who ride on public roads should be required to register their vehicles. with a license plate on his bike, it would be much easier to track this guy down.

08 Dec 2012 09:05 AM
redundantman     
Oh wait, wait ... I am great at this hipster stuff.

Here, watch this obscure new dance I've learned called "Gangnam Style"!

08 Dec 2012 09:07 AM
rattchett     
The weapon was a hair stick.

08 Dec 2012 09:25 AM
HindiDiscoMonster     
Cyclist should be facing attempted murder charges, but as we all know from Fark hipsters, cyclists can do no wrong.

08 Dec 2012 09:28 AM
Haerski     
My list of things I don't understand about the USA:

No. 719: Attitudes towards bicyclists.

/DNRTFA, no idea who's to blame in this specific case.

08 Dec 2012 09:38 AM
WhippingBoy     

Haerski: My list of things I don't understand about the USA:

No. 719: Attitudes towards bicyclists.

/DNRTFA, no idea who's to blame in this specific case.


Have you ever actually met a bicyclist?

08 Dec 2012 09:40 AM
FlippityFlap     
Is this the thread where all the shiatty drivers that never use their turn-signals, talk on their stupid farking phones, text and act like general idiots while piloting around a ton of steel and plastic come to whine about bikes?


/Why, yes it is.
// 50,000 deaths a year. How many caused by bikes?

08 Dec 2012 09:47 AM
fluffy2097     
This is why you never get out of the cage. You just run the farker down.

"He smashed my mirror off with a bike lock and was hurling obscenities officer. I was in fear for my life. He was following me and if I had stopped or attempted to leave my vehicle I would have been attacked like he attacked my car. I had no choice but to run him over repeatedly and them park my front wheel on his head."

08 Dec 2012 09:48 AM
skinink     

Haerski: My list of things I don't understand about the USA:

No. 719: Attitudes towards bicyclists.

/DNRTFA, no idea who's to blame in this specific case.


Because there enough bicyclists in the U.S. that act like assholes.

But this isn't unique to the U.S. Go to Berlin Germany and observe how the bicyclists there act like jerks as well. Bicyclists annoy me because they are too scared to share the road with cars, but then they ride the sidewalks and treat pedestrians as badly as any driver would treat a bike rider.

08 Dec 2012 09:59 AM
Uranus Is Huge!     

fluffy2097: This is why you never get out of the cage. You just run the farker down.

"He smashed my mirror off with a bike lock and was hurling obscenities officer. I was in fear for my life. He was following me and if I had stopped or attempted to leave my vehicle I would have been attacked like he attacked my car. I had no choice but to run him over repeatedly and them park my front wheel on his head."


This. One party is in a half-ton self-propelled steel cage. The other is in neon spandex. I once had a cyclist kick my fender for not yielding to him as he ran a red light to make a left turn. Unfortunately for him, moments later a dog ran out in front of me causing me to swerve towards him. He ended up eating shiat.

Damn dogs.

08 Dec 2012 10:07 AM
flyinglizard     

beta_plus: A Knife?
You call that a Knife?
This is a knife, it's really obscure, you've probably never heard of it.


Mick Dundee

08 Dec 2012 10:12 AM
dickfreckle     

abhorrent1: important for bike riders to observe the rules of the road? Yeah, good luck with that. Douchbags


For every douchebag cyclist, there is at least one douchebag motorist. You know this, man. So stop pretending like it's just bicyclists who are assholes.

/does not ride a bicycle
//does ride a motorcycle, so I get annoyed with both of you

08 Dec 2012 10:16 AM
Massa Damnata     

flyinglizard: beta_plus: A Knife?
You call that a Knife?
This is a knife, it's really obscure, you've probably never heard of it.

Mick Dundee


YAY U R WINNAR!!!

08 Dec 2012 10:17 AM
Private_Citizen    [TotalFark]  

flyinglizard: beta_plus: A Knife?
You call that a Knife?
This is a knife, it's really obscure, you've probably never heard of it.

Mick Dundee


No no - it was Alligator Dundee! I remember because I saw it before everyone else.

08 Dec 2012 10:19 AM
downtownkid     

FlippityFlap: Is this the thread where all the shiatty drivers that never use their turn-signals, talk on their stupid farking phones, text and act like general idiots while piloting around a ton of steel and plastic come to whine about bikes?


/Why, yes it is.
// 50,000 deaths a year. How many caused by bikes?



No, it's the thread about a bicyclist stabbing someone that complete jackasses drop into to praise bicyclists. Hard to believe, right?

08 Dec 2012 10:48 AM
Jon iz teh kewl     
we'll buy a NEW car. with an unbreakable side mirror!

deadhomersociety.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

08 Dec 2012 10:52 AM
ElBarto79     

dickfreckle: abhorrent1: important for bike riders to observe the rules of the road? Yeah, good luck with that. Douchbags

For every douchebag cyclist, there is at least one douchebag motorist. You know this, man. So stop pretending like it's just bicyclists who are assholes.

/does not ride a bicycle
//does ride a motorcycle, so I get annoyed with both of you


I'd say it's a much higher ratio than that. I bike to work every day and have seen plenty of asshole bikers who completely ignore the rules of the road but I've seen many more asshole drivers. I've been cut off more times than I can count, yelled at and even hit by one guy and I've been doing this less than a year. Every time I roll through a green light my entire body is tensed because I'm fully aware that the fact that I have the right of way is no guarantee that someone will not pull out in front of me. I personally know two people that were killed doing nothing different than what I do every day. I've had people look directly at me then pull out in front of me requiring me to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting them. The one time I was hit I was cruising down the sidewalk, slowly, I saw a car up ahead getting ready to pull out, I figured he saw me since there were no cars coming and he wasn't moving, I was wrong. Right at the moment I got within about 2 feet from him he went. My bike flipped over but fortunately I was able to land on my feet. He never apologized, never even acknowledged my presence. Just kept his hands on the wheels and his eyes straight ahead as I picked myself up.

08 Dec 2012 10:53 AM
Uranus Is Huge!     
Remember folks, the right of way is given, not taken.

08 Dec 2012 11:09 AM
AcneVulgaris     

Cupajo: "The time change is just an important time for everybody to take a few extra minutes, take your time, look around, and make sure that if you're crossing bike lanes or crosswalks you're looking for everybody," Billing said. "Everybody's just trying to get home safe."

Seems to me like the article is placing blame on the guy who got stabbed.


If he hadn't farked up, he wouldn't have got stabbed.

08 Dec 2012 11:25 AM
Lord Farkwad     

The_Original_Roxtar: yet another reason why cyclists who ride on public roads should be required to register their vehicles. with a license plate on his bike, it would be much easier to track this guy down.


This! And a insurance policy that covers the damage they cause to vehicles and pedestrians. Also medical so that the taxpayers wont be paying for their hospital stay after they run one stop light too many.

08 Dec 2012 11:52 AM
Cupajo     

AcneVulgaris: Cupajo: "The time change is just an important time for everybody to take a few extra minutes, take your time, look around, and make sure that if you're crossing bike lanes or crosswalks you're looking for everybody," Billing said. "Everybody's just trying to get home safe."

Seems to me like the article is placing blame on the guy who got stabbed.

If he hadn't farked up, he wouldn't have got stabbed.


So that means every time I'm walking along and I get knocked aside as a bike messenger hops from the bike lane up on to the sidewalk and back again, I have carte blanch to stab 'em? Good to know, thanks for the info.

08 Dec 2012 11:53 AM
Medic Zero    [TotalFark]  

Enemabag Jones: He could have been polite and simply splashed urine from his water bottler on the asshole driver.


Don't drink out of the yellow water bottle eh? All my cages are taken; one for water, one for the air horns vessel, and one for the coffee mug.

08 Dec 2012 12:09 PM
Medic Zero    [TotalFark]  

The_Original_Roxtar: yet another reason why cyclists who ride on public roads should be required to register their vehicles. with a license plate on his bike, it would be much easier to track this guy down.


Good luck with that.

/ Research San Diego's experiment in that sometime.
// Hint - it's more trouble than it is worth - literally.

08 Dec 2012 12:12 PM
theorellior    [TotalFark]  

Haerski: My list of things I don't understand about the USA:

No. 719: Attitudes towards bicyclists.

/DNRTFA, no idea who's to blame in this specific case.


If you actually use your muscles to transport yourself, you're scum. Real Americans use imported dino juice in order to keep their girthy frames at the proper tonnage.

08 Dec 2012 12:12 PM
Frankenstorm     
Where's the ironic tag?

08 Dec 2012 12:13 PM
AcneVulgaris     

Cupajo: AcneVulgaris: Cupajo: "The time change is just an important time for everybody to take a few extra minutes, take your time, look around, and make sure that if you're crossing bike lanes or crosswalks you're looking for everybody," Billing said. "Everybody's just trying to get home safe."

Seems to me like the article is placing blame on the guy who got stabbed.

If he hadn't farked up, he wouldn't have got stabbed.

So that means every time I'm walking along and I get knocked aside as a bike messenger hops from the bike lane up on to the sidewalk and back again, I have carte blanch to stab 'em? Good to know, thanks for the info.


Stab away, my stabby friend!

08 Dec 2012 12:16 PM
vudukungfu     

Frankenstorm: Where's the ironic tag?


Yeah. Where's the IRONY!?!?

08 Dec 2012 12:20 PM
Cupajo     

AcneVulgaris: Cupajo: AcneVulgaris: Cupajo: "The time change is just an important time for everybody to take a few extra minutes, take your time, look around, and make sure that if you're crossing bike lanes or crosswalks you're looking for everybody," Billing said. "Everybody's just trying to get home safe."

Seems to me like the article is placing blame on the guy who got stabbed.

If he hadn't farked up, he wouldn't have got stabbed.

So that means every time I'm walking along and I get knocked aside as a bike messenger hops from the bike lane up on to the sidewalk and back again, I have carte blanch to stab 'em? Good to know, thanks for the info.

Stab away, my stabby friend!


suh-weeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

08 Dec 2012 12:21 PM
GORDON     
There's really one one correct solution to this sort of he said/she said, driver vs bicyclist situation.

Shoot the bicyclist in the head on the side of the road.

Then shoot 10 more bicyclists, at random, as a warning to others.

08 Dec 2012 12:37 PM
Jument     
Some cyclists are jerks. Some drivers are jerks. IMHO most drivers are ignorant and unaware about cyclists and pedestrians. When I'm out running I'm constantly being cut off and threatened by asshat drivers who aren't looking where they are going.

Cyclists get way too much hate IMHO.

08 Dec 2012 12:39 PM
umad     

Cupajo: AcneVulgaris: Cupajo: "The time change is just an important time for everybody to take a few extra minutes, take your time, look around, and make sure that if you're crossing bike lanes or crosswalks you're looking for everybody," Billing said. "Everybody's just trying to get home safe."

Seems to me like the article is placing blame on the guy who got stabbed.

If he hadn't farked up, he wouldn't have got stabbed.

So that means every time I'm walking along and I get knocked aside as a bike messenger hops from the bike lane up on to the sidewalk and back again, I have carte blanch to stab 'em? Good to know, thanks for the info.


I'm sure he will be moving too fast for you to stab him. You will need to shoot him in the back. If that knocks him off his bike then you can stab him.

08 Dec 2012 01:26 PM
Fett56     
The "bike lock vs sideview mirror" thing is straight out of that shiatty premium rush movie.

/cyclist
//anyone who derides environmentally friendly, low cost transportation is obviously stupid.

08 Dec 2012 01:26 PM
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