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   New "test and hold" rule aims to make meat safer. All subby can say is that he's been holding and testing his meat for years, and has never had any problems with it

08 Dec 2012 11:25 AM   |   3573 clicks   |   NBC News
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Il Douchey    [TotalFark]  
Irradiate it. If we irradiated our food, you could keep raw porkchops in your glove compartment until you're damn well ready to eat them. Months, years, whatever. You could even eat them raw if you wanted. Think of it!

08 Dec 2012 08:52 AM
Pud    [TotalFark]  

Il Douchey: Irradiate it. If we irradiated our food, you could keep raw porkchops in your glove compartment until you're damn well ready to eat them. Months, years, whatever. You could even eat them raw if you wanted. Think of it!


Does that hold true for raw bacon? Because, who hasn't wanted to eat a slab of raw bacon at one time or another?

08 Dec 2012 09:52 AM
ZAZ    [TotalFark]  
The "sell by" date on grocery store hamburger will move at least two days closer to the present. If testing is slower than the hoped-for two days all the meat will rot before it reaches consumers.

In other news, Il Douchey must be J. Frank Parnell's alt.

08 Dec 2012 09:52 AM
dickfreckle     

Pud: Does that hold true for raw bacon? Because, who hasn't wanted to eat a slab of raw bacon at one time or another?


This is silly, but I was once caught eating raw bacon while drunk-sleepwalking. You know what I'm talking about. That time you went to pee in the closet at 4am? You're conscious enough to move around and manipulate objects, but your brain is only running on auxiliary power.

She found me sitting the kitchen table, gnawing on raw bacon. Any other girl would have dumped me right there, but she had a sense of humor.

/didn't get sick, thankfully

08 Dec 2012 10:59 AM
Marcus Aurelius    [TotalFark]  
This move is most likely to encourage meat producers to finally start tracking their damn cattle. They've been obfuscating the source of processed meat in order to dodge responsibility for poisoning the population, because tracking the carcass is "just too hard", even though every other industrialized country manages.

08 Dec 2012 11:22 AM
Marcus Aurelius    [TotalFark]  

ZAZ: The "sell by" date on grocery store hamburger will move at least two days closer to the present. If testing is slower than the hoped-for two days all the meat will rot before it reaches consumers.

In other news, Il Douchey must be J. Frank Parnell's alt.


Store ground beef is an abomination already.

08 Dec 2012 11:23 AM
TheOther     
dickfreckle: Pud: Does that hold true for raw bacon? Because, who hasn't wanted to eat a slab of raw bacon at one time or another?

This is silly, but I was once caught eating raw bacon while drunk-sleepwalking. You know what I'm talking about. That time you went to pee in the closet at 4am? You're conscious enough to move around and manipulate objects, but your brain is only running on auxiliary power.

She found me sitting the kitchen table, gnawing on raw bacon. Any other girl would have dumped me right there, but she had a sense of humor.

/didn't get sick, thankfully


Pfft! You aint sleep-eating till the raw bacon is wrapped around a stick of butter being used to dip frosting out of a can.

08 Dec 2012 11:33 AM
ReapTheChaos     
Great, one more reason for the price of groceries to go higher than they already are.

08 Dec 2012 11:36 AM
Im_Gumby    [TotalFark]  
Pfft! You ain't livin until an extra thick center cut slice is wrapped around your turgid member, whilst your body heat and friction renders the fat into nature's perfect lube...

/at least that's what I've been told

08 Dec 2012 11:39 AM
kd8our     
Last time I checked bacon tends to be cured, like ham. so not exactly "raw". If raw it would simply be called a pork belly. Most bacon is smoked or cured and that involves being cooked at a low temp for some time. In addition to lots of salt and or brine. It's a process that tends to kill or at least minimized bacteria and fungus. Not the same as just cutting it off the pig and eating it as is.

08 Dec 2012 11:40 AM
ZAZ    [TotalFark]  
Store ground beef is an abomination already.

I haven't trusted ground beef for a long time, store bought or fast food. The new rules won't make a difference to me.

08 Dec 2012 11:41 AM
BitwiseShift     
Subby's mom also knows about holding meat as evidenced by all the previous commenters who are too wise to let on and mention it.

08 Dec 2012 11:41 AM
ciberido     

Pud: Il Douchey: Irradiate it. If we irradiated our food, you could keep raw porkchops in your glove compartment until you're damn well ready to eat them. Months, years, whatever. You could even eat them raw if you wanted. Think of it!

Does that hold true for raw bacon? Because, who hasn't wanted to eat a slab of raw bacon at one time or another?


*raises hand slowly*

I can honestly say I've never wanted to eat raw bacon. And I've eaten sushi, ceviche, and gored gored more than once, so it's not just that I'm turned off by the thought of eating any meat raw.

08 Dec 2012 11:41 AM
FirstNationalBastard    [TotalFark]  

BitwiseShift: Subby's mom also knows about holding meat as evidenced by all the previous commenters who are too wise to let on and mention it.


...when Subby makes the self-deprecating joke right in the headline, there's really no need for a "Your Mom" follow-up.

08 Dec 2012 11:49 AM
Amos Quito     

dickfreckle: Pud: Does that hold true for raw bacon? Because, who hasn't wanted to eat a slab of raw bacon at one time or another?

This is silly, but I was once caught eating raw bacon while drunk-sleepwalking. You know what I'm talking about. That time you went to pee in the closet at 4am? You're conscious enough to move around and manipulate objects, but your brain is only running on auxiliary power.

She found me sitting the kitchen table, gnawing on raw bacon. Any other girl would have dumped me right there, but she had a sense of humor.

/didn't get sick, thankfully



Sounds like an Ambien adventure.

08 Dec 2012 11:53 AM
SirDigbyChickenCaesar     
Pfft you ain't sleep eating until you are eating jelly belly's out of the chest cavity of a freshly murdered homeless guy

08 Dec 2012 11:54 AM
tzzhc4     

Il Douchey: Irradiate it. If we irradiated our food, you could keep raw porkchops in your glove compartment until you're damn well ready to eat them. Months, years, whatever. You could even eat them raw if you wanted. Think of it!


Exactly, would be cheaper and more effective than test and hold.

08 Dec 2012 11:57 AM
SirDigbyChickenCaesar     

Il Douchey: Irradiate it. If we irradiated our food, you could keep raw porkchops in your glove compartment until you're damn well ready to eat them. Months, years, whatever. You could even eat them raw if you wanted. Think of it!


Is that why Kobe beef is so good?

08 Dec 2012 12:01 PM
FirstNationalBastard    [TotalFark]  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: Il Douchey: Irradiate it. If we irradiated our food, you could keep raw porkchops in your glove compartment until you're damn well ready to eat them. Months, years, whatever. You could even eat them raw if you wanted. Think of it!

Is that why Kobe beef is so good?


I've heard you can only get that in Colorado hotel rooms... whether you want it or not.

08 Dec 2012 12:02 PM
Marcintosh     
Great news, now if they can just get the fecal matter and antibiotics out of it, well, it might just be able to be called Beef again.

Instead of "That Red Crap" in the plastic tray. Or was that Pink Slime, or Scrapings. Always get them mixed up.

Congenital problems on the rise? Autism you say? Well son, look at the one common aspect we all share - we eat!

08 Dec 2012 12:15 PM
Happy Hours     

Marcus Aurelius: This move is most likely to encourage meat producers to finally start tracking their damn cattle. They've been obfuscating the source of processed meat in order to dodge responsibility for poisoning the population, because tracking the carcass is "just too hard", even though every other industrialized country manages.


Uh, they do track their cattle quite well.

When the meat goes in a box they can tie that back with 100% certainty to the lot it came from and with a decent certainty of even which animal it came from. Lots vary in size, but generally aren't larger than a few dozen head.

The animals have "kill tags" which tie it to a supplier and they can tell who sold it to them, where it was born, where it was raised and what feed lot it came from before slaughter.

If you have a problem with that, then perhaps you should go vegan.

Also, recalls cast a very wide net. If e. coli is found in one animal the producer is likely to recall hundreds of animals.

08 Dec 2012 01:00 PM
Marcus Aurelius    [TotalFark]  

Happy Hours: Marcus Aurelius: This move is most likely to encourage meat producers to finally start tracking their damn cattle. They've been obfuscating the source of processed meat in order to dodge responsibility for poisoning the population, because tracking the carcass is "just too hard", even though every other industrialized country manages.

Uh, they do track their cattle quite well.

When the meat goes in a box they can tie that back with 100% certainty to the lot it came from and with a decent certainty of even which animal it came from. Lots vary in size, but generally aren't larger than a few dozen head.

The animals have "kill tags" which tie it to a supplier and they can tell who sold it to them, where it was born, where it was raised and what feed lot it came from before slaughter.

If you have a problem with that, then perhaps you should go vegan.

Also, recalls cast a very wide net. If e. coli is found in one animal the producer is likely to recall hundreds of animals.


This must be a recent development. I haven't been involved in the industry since the 1990's.

08 Dec 2012 01:04 PM
Real Women Drink Akvavit    [TotalFark]  

Il Douchey: Irradiate it. If we irradiated our food, you could keep raw porkchops in your glove compartment until you're damn well ready to eat them. Months, years, whatever. You could even eat them raw if you wanted. Think of it!


Strangely, this idea appeals to me.

/yeah, I'm fat

08 Dec 2012 01:14 PM
tricycleracer     

ReapTheChaos: Great, one more reason for the price of groceries to go higher than they already are.


Societal Priorities:

1. Money
2. Health and welfare

08 Dec 2012 01:34 PM
Yoyo     
FTA: But FSIS officials said they anticipate that negative test results will be determined within two days.

Something tells me this is a golden opportunity for an entrepreneur to invent a new rapid result test. It's the free market at work!

Happy Hours: Lots vary in size, but generally aren't larger than a few dozen head.


Where are you from? Because the feed lots I see in Kansas are well over a few dozen head.

08 Dec 2012 01:38 PM
Jedekai     

dickfreckle: Pud: Does that hold true for raw bacon? Because, who hasn't wanted to eat a slab of raw bacon at one time or another?

This is silly, but I was once caught eating raw bacon while drunk-sleepwalking. You know what I'm talking about. That time you went to pee in the closet at 4am? You're conscious enough to move around and manipulate objects, but your brain is only running on auxiliary power.

She found me sitting the kitchen table, gnawing on raw bacon. Any other girl would have dumped me right there, but she had a sense of humor.

/didn't get sick, thankfully


Bacon isn't raw - it's smoked. So long as you have a good immune system, it shouldn't even be a blip on your radar. Steak, for the same reason, is relatively safe to eat raw. Not as safe as bacon, but, hey, tartare.

The only meats you shouldn't eat raw (EVER!) are fish, game and anything from a sheep. Sheep carry some DAMN NASTY pathogens.

08 Dec 2012 02:09 PM
Im_Gumby    [TotalFark]  

Jedekai: dickfreckle: Pud: Does that hold true for raw bacon? Because, who hasn't wanted to eat a slab of raw bacon at one time or another?

This is silly, but I was once caught eating raw bacon while drunk-sleepwalking. You know what I'm talking about. That time you went to pee in the closet at 4am? You're conscious enough to move around and manipulate objects, but your brain is only running on auxiliary power.

She found me sitting the kitchen table, gnawing on raw bacon. Any other girl would have dumped me right there, but she had a sense of humor.

/didn't get sick, thankfully

Bacon isn't raw - it's smoked. So long as you have a good immune system, it shouldn't even be a blip on your radar. Steak, for the same reason, is relatively safe to eat raw. Not as safe as bacon, but, hey, tartare.

The only meats you shouldn't eat raw (EVER!) are fish, game and anything from a sheep. Sheep carry some DAMN NASTY pathogens.


Sashimi begs to differ

08 Dec 2012 02:15 PM
ZAZ    [TotalFark]  
The only meats you shouldn't eat raw (EVER!) are fish, game and anything from a sheep.

When I was young eating raw pork was supposed to give you trichinosis. I don't know if that was really true at the time or still is.

08 Dec 2012 02:20 PM
saintstryfe     

ZAZ: When I was young eating raw pork was supposed to give you trichinosis. I don't know if that was really true at the time or still is.


Not so much anymore. When you were a kid, Pork was fed tablescraps and whatever else it could scrounge. Today's hogs are fed diets for maximum yield and safety. They're not likely to give you worms... still, not a good idea.

08 Dec 2012 02:29 PM
Jedekai     

Im_Gumby: Jedekai: dickfreckle: Pud: Does that hold true for raw bacon? Because, who hasn't wanted to eat a slab of raw bacon at one time or another?

This is silly, but I was once caught eating raw bacon while drunk-sleepwalking. You know what I'm talking about. That time you went to pee in the closet at 4am? You're conscious enough to move around and manipulate objects, but your brain is only running on auxiliary power.

She found me sitting the kitchen table, gnawing on raw bacon. Any other girl would have dumped me right there, but she had a sense of humor.

/didn't get sick, thankfully

Bacon isn't raw - it's smoked. So long as you have a good immune system, it shouldn't even be a blip on your radar. Steak, for the same reason, is relatively safe to eat raw. Not as safe as bacon, but, hey, tartare.

The only meats you shouldn't eat raw (EVER!) are fish, game and anything from a sheep. Sheep carry some DAMN NASTY pathogens.

Sashimi begs to differ


Sashimi and all Sushi-Like-Edibles are cured with citrus juice - which kills pretty much everything bad in the fish.

I meant, "Reel the bastard in, gut it, and devour".

08 Dec 2012 02:37 PM
Anthracite     

Marcintosh: Great news, now if they can just get the fecal matter and antibiotics out of it, well, it might just be able to be called Beef again.

Instead of "That Red Crap" in the plastic tray. Or was that Pink Slime, or Scrapings. Always get them mixed up.

Congenital problems on the rise? Autism you say? Well son, look at the one common aspect we all share - we eat!


I was thinking stop feeding the grain, get em out of the feed lots and you will get what we used to call beef.

08 Dec 2012 02:46 PM
Happy Hours     

Yoyo: Happy Hours: Lots vary in size, but generally aren't larger than a few dozen head.

Where are you from? Because the feed lots I see in Kansas are well over a few dozen head.


Colorado

Yeah, the feed lots are big, but they don't all get killed at the same time. I was told that in the old days they'd take aerial photos of feed lots and take inventory by counting what was seen in the pictures.


They come in by the truckload and maybe there are lots which are slightly larger but sorting the meat by grade is a big deal and trucks only hold so many head of cattle. And yeah, they don't get graded until they've been killed, but from what I remember looking at the data the lots weren't huge. The overall numbers were though. 5000 head a day in the larger plants, half that (or slightly less) in the smaller ones.

I don't work for them anymore, but the recall system was kind of farked. They cut back on IT staff as they kept growing bigger (mostly through acquisition). I remember getting calls on a Friday night asking for all the data on cows killed within a 3 hour period. Then later, they called back and said the recall was being expanded and they now wanted 6 hours worth of data. Uh, you know Mr. CIO, we could write a program to do this so you wouldn't have to call me up in the middle of the night. It was all pretty simple SQL queries anyway.

They have all the data. Managing that data is not a strong point though mostly because they don't want to spend any money on IT and when they do it's poorly spent which is why everyone would go into panic mode whenever there was a recall.

Bain consultants didn't really help much either. From my experience with them I can only say they were an exercise in inefficiency. They had grand ideas - they just weren't realistic given our budget which was largely wasted on Bain. They had a horrible data warehouse which nobody knew anything about except for one guy who only knew how to extract a handful of reports from. The people who developed it had long since quit.

But to their credit we did know what pieces of what cows where in which boxes. There was even a push at one point to put QR codes on packages so that Japanese customers could scan them and see exactly where in the US they were produced. The idea was to show them some rancher and give them a good feeling about the product. That never happened though we did collect data for years for that project. Much money was wasted while we collected data that would never be used and Japanese protectionism (with the excuse of mad cow disease didn't exactly help either). 

Okay, I see I'm already started on a rant...I'd better just shut up now other than to say my friends who are no longer employees either (some by choice, some by layoffs) all had a good laugh when we heard the CIO was fired about a year ago.

I do think this is a solution in search of a problem though. Food safety isn't a problem in the US and I don't say that as a meat industry spokesperson. I actually hate my former employer. Sometimes there are recalls that make the news and hurt people. Based on memory those are usually related to fruits, vegetables, peanut butter or medicine and when it does involve meat it's usually because someone thought it would be a good idea to eat raw ground beef.

08 Dec 2012 03:03 PM
LoneVVolf     
Smaller meat producers, including those who specialize in fresh ground beef, worried that the new regulations would force them to hold product too long for test results...
...FSIS officials said they anticipate that negative test results will be determined within two days.


How's that supposed to work for supermarkets with meat departments that grind their beef every couple hours for fresh sale? I've never seen a package over 6 hours past prep date.

08 Dec 2012 03:16 PM
Im_Gumby    [TotalFark]  

Jedekai: Im_Gumby: Jedekai: dickfreckle: Pud: Does that hold true for raw bacon? Because, who hasn't wanted to eat a slab of raw bacon at one time or another?

This is silly, but I was once caught eating raw bacon while drunk-sleepwalking. You know what I'm talking about. That time you went to pee in the closet at 4am? You're conscious enough to move around and manipulate objects, but your brain is only running on auxiliary power.

She found me sitting the kitchen table, gnawing on raw bacon. Any other girl would have dumped me right there, but she had a sense of humor.

/didn't get sick, thankfully

Bacon isn't raw - it's smoked. So long as you have a good immune system, it shouldn't even be a blip on your radar. Steak, for the same reason, is relatively safe to eat raw. Not as safe as bacon, but, hey, tartare.

The only meats you shouldn't eat raw (EVER!) are fish, game and anything from a sheep. Sheep carry some DAMN NASTY pathogens.

Sashimi begs to differ

Sashimi and all Sushi-Like-Edibles are cured with citrus juice - which kills pretty much everything bad in the fish.

I meant, "Reel the bastard in, gut it, and devour".


Nope. Fish in citrus juice "cooks" (ceviche) resulting in a change in color and texture.

See also: Link

08 Dec 2012 05:20 PM
Strix occidentalis     

Jedekai: dickfreckle: Pud: Does that hold true for raw bacon? Because, who hasn't wanted to eat a slab of raw bacon at one time or another?

This is silly, but I was once caught eating raw bacon while drunk-sleepwalking. You know what I'm talking about. That time you went to pee in the closet at 4am? You're conscious enough to move around and manipulate objects, but your brain is only running on auxiliary power.

She found me sitting the kitchen table, gnawing on raw bacon. Any other girl would have dumped me right there, but she had a sense of humor.

/didn't get sick, thankfully

Bacon isn't raw - it's smoked. So long as you have a good immune system, it shouldn't even be a blip on your radar. Steak, for the same reason, is relatively safe to eat raw. Not as safe as bacon, but, hey, tartare.

The only meats you shouldn't eat raw (EVER!) are fish, game and anything from a sheep. Sheep carry some DAMN NASTY pathogens.


Raw poultry generally isn't a smart idea either. Has to be brought up to 165°F, and then you have to go sanitize every prep surface you touched with raw bird juice. The amount of fuss meat requires from a safety/sanitation standpoint (in school/the foodservice industry at least) is one of the reasons I went vegetarian. I'm just too lazy.

08 Dec 2012 05:55 PM
The One True TheDavid     

tricycleracer: ReapTheChaos: Great, one more reason for the price of groceries to go higher than they already are.

Societal Priorities:

1. Money
2. Health and welfare


No no no.

There are several other things in between.

08 Dec 2012 06:38 PM
Marcintosh     

Anthracite: Marcintosh: Great news, now if they can just get the fecal matter and antibiotics out of it, well, it might just be able to be called Beef again.

Instead of "That Red Crap" in the plastic tray. Or was that Pink Slime, or Scrapings. Always get them mixed up.

Congenital problems on the rise? Autism you say? Well son, look at the one common aspect we all share - we eat!

I was thinking stop feeding the grain, get em out of the feed lots and you will get what we used to call beef.


and that too

08 Dec 2012 08:27 PM
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