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   Will machines wipe out the human race?

08 Dec 2012 03:46 PM   |   4205 clicks   |   Metro
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stratagos     
Will subby ever get laid without having to pay for it?

Will people practice what they preach?

Will we ever have a 'question' headline where you can't immediately answer "no" without bothering to click?

08 Dec 2012 11:59 AM
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Weaver95    [TotalFark]  
well they WERE gonna wipe out the human race back in 1987...but then skynet crashed to desktop after a particularly horrifying BSOD incident. it was never the same after that...it kept getting obsessed with printer daemons and 'being right with the Lord'.

08 Dec 2012 12:16 PM
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Barfmaker    [TotalFark]  
No worries, I have top men working on this.

www.romston.com

08 Dec 2012 12:27 PM
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Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     
Nope.

Banana peels will wipe out the human race in one huge tragic pratfall.

08 Dec 2012 02:30 PM
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Apos     
Yes.

08 Dec 2012 03:05 PM
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shizbgby_v2     
I hope not, at least while I am alive.

08 Dec 2012 03:47 PM
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DreamyAltarBoy     
I certainly hope so.

08 Dec 2012 03:47 PM
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Ess_Aytch     
Nope. We'll just merge with them until we're the Borg.

Resistance is futile.

08 Dec 2012 03:49 PM
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OtherLittleGuy    [TotalFark]  
Not until Kennedys can divorce robots.

08 Dec 2012 03:49 PM
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ladyfortuna     
I think this research paper was just an excuse to watch a whole lot of Terminator movies and probably read some old sci-fi while they were at it. Perhaps someday, but from even the little bit I've seen of programming, computers are still not intelligent enough to figure things out for themselves.

08 Dec 2012 03:50 PM
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SnakeLee    [TotalFark]  
If they do, I just hope they make it count. I want the whole solar system converted to one giant processor and I want them expanding as far as robotically possible

08 Dec 2012 03:51 PM
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Ishkur    [TotalFark]  
They won't wipe us out. They'll just replace us. Or we'll merge with them. Or something.

It'll be a slow burn thing that occurs gradually over hundreds of years. Before we know it, we won't be human anymore.

08 Dec 2012 03:52 PM
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El Dudereno     

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Nope.

Banana peels will wipe out the human race in one huge tragic pratfall.


And grapes. Gotta watch the damned grapes too.

08 Dec 2012 03:52 PM
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Fart_Machine     
Good thing I'm insured with Old Glory.

08 Dec 2012 03:53 PM
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Smeggy Smurf     
We almost elected one. Now we have to wait 4 more years to find out

08 Dec 2012 03:55 PM
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Nuclear Monk     

SnakeLee: If they do, I just hope they make it count. I want the whole solar system converted to one giant processor and I want them expanding as far as robotically possible


Yeah...maybe human life as we know it gets overtaken by borg-like robots, but as they expand outward and takeover the universe, it still counts as our team winning.

08 Dec 2012 03:57 PM
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Hector Remarkable     
Why that's as fanciful as your push-button homes. Pish-posh to your electric machinery.

08 Dec 2012 03:58 PM
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boinkingbill     
Nano technology has made it possible for me to stick an entire grand piano right up my nose.

Eat that Steve Martin.

08 Dec 2012 04:00 PM
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Uncle Tractor     
No, they won't.

IMO we'll become more and more machine as we swap out more and more of our bodies, while the robots (some of them) will become more and more human. In the end the lines will blur and the distinction will be meaningless.

IMO

08 Dec 2012 04:02 PM
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Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     

El Dudereno: And grapes. Gotta watch the damned grapes too.


Oh, grapes are a delicious deathtrap, aye.


Ishkur: They won't wipe us out. They'll just replace us. Or we'll merge with them. Or something.


NOT LIKE THE END OF SUPERMAN III, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

08 Dec 2012 04:03 PM
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macadamnut     
24.media.tumblr.com 

Eventually.

08 Dec 2012 04:03 PM
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Tsar_Bomba1     

macadamnut: [24.media.tumblr.com image 500x225] 

Eventually.



I almost got killed by a coke machine. We were moving it on a dolly and when it came time to take it off one of the guys lost his grip and it came down on me. As I moved out of the way it caught my arm, but I managed to get out of the way at the last minute. Had a nasty bruise on that arm for weeks.

When it hit the ground it didn't bounce. Just went BAM! and stayed there. My co-workers thought it was funny. F*ckers...

08 Dec 2012 04:09 PM
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starlost    [TotalFark]  
when machines become sentient it won't be hard to find a $8 toaster that will give away all it knows so not to be unplugged.

08 Dec 2012 04:10 PM
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ladyfortuna     

macadamnut: [24.media.tumblr.com image 500x225] 

Eventually.


I had to explain that to someone recently. I wish I could remember what prompted the discussion.

08 Dec 2012 04:11 PM
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Amos Quito     
Our technology will screw us. We have become fare to dependent on it, and should we have a major fail event (EMP's, nice solar flare), the sudden DEATH of our technology will set us back to the stone age.

/The few of us that manage to survive, that is

08 Dec 2012 04:11 PM
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AfroX     
i49.tinypic.com

This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it.

08 Dec 2012 04:12 PM
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Quantum Apostrophe     
We are machines.

upload.wikimedia.org

08 Dec 2012 04:15 PM
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LewDux    [TotalFark]  
fc06.deviantart.net

08 Dec 2012 04:15 PM
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foxyshadis     

stratagos: Will subby ever get laid without having to pay for it?

Will people practice what they preach?

Will we ever have a 'question' headline where you can't immediately answer "no" without bothering to click?


At least in this case, you can truthfully answer, "maybe."

We'll probably nuke, starve, or mutate ourselves long before Skynet gets around to doing it, though.

08 Dec 2012 04:16 PM
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The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men     
I reckon they'll have a hard time catching up with our own efforts.

08 Dec 2012 04:17 PM
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zamboni    [TotalFark]  
I hope so.

Somehow it's more disturbing that we'll probably do it to ourselves.

08 Dec 2012 04:24 PM
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KarmicDisaster    [TotalFark]  
We have a lot of irons in the fire as far as killing ourselves goes. Not sure that we will be able to make machines to do it before we kill ourselves some other way or not.

08 Dec 2012 04:27 PM
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IronTom    [TotalFark]  
Machines are tools, but then again many people are tools too.

08 Dec 2012 04:28 PM
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Apos     

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: El Dudereno: And grapes. Gotta watch the damned grapes too.

Oh, grapes are a delicious deathtrap, aye.


Ishkur: They won't wipe us out. They'll just replace us. Or we'll merge with them. Or something.

NOT LIKE THE END OF SUPERMAN III, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Heaven knows what the studio was thinking when they greenlit that horrible spoof.

08 Dec 2012 04:29 PM
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Notabunny    [TotalFark]  
It's already begun. A couple of weeks ago Mrs Bunny's vibrator sent her into seizures and damn near killed her.

08 Dec 2012 04:29 PM
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Fail in Human Form     

SnakeLee: If they do, I just hope they make it count. I want the whole solar system converted to one giant processor and I want them expanding as far as robotically possible


Soooo you want us to unleash a plague on the universe?

08 Dec 2012 04:31 PM
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GORDON     
No, machines will not wipe out the human race.

The oceans rising 10 centimeters in the next hundred years will, obviously.

08 Dec 2012 04:34 PM
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Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     

Apos: Heaven knows what the studio was thinking when they greenlit that horrible spoof.


"Superman AND Richard Pryor? Make it happen, and keep a clear route for the money trucks to reach Warner Bros. Studios!"

Everyone bags on Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, and not without good reason. Still, I liked it a LOT better than Superman III (surly drunk-ass Superman notwithstanding).

08 Dec 2012 04:34 PM
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Apos     

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Apos: Heaven knows what the studio was thinking when they greenlit that horrible spoof.

"Superman AND Richard Pryor? Make it happen, and keep a clear route for the money trucks to reach Warner Bros. Studios!"

Everyone bags on Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, and not without good reason. Still, I liked it a LOT better than Superman III (surly drunk-ass Superman notwithstanding).


It was overly preachy for a Supes flick, but otherwise, I agree. Gene Hackman has the capacity to elevate virtually every movie he's in.

08 Dec 2012 04:38 PM
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Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     

Apos: It was overly preachy for a Supes flick, but otherwise, I agree. Gene Hackman has the capacity to elevate virtually every movie he's in.


Indeed.

I love Hackman, but homeboy deserved better than Welcome to Mooseport for his last movie.


GORDON: No, machines will not wipe out the human race.

The oceans rising 10 centimeters in the next hundred years will, obviously.


*whew*

Good thing I have other plans at that time.

08 Dec 2012 04:40 PM
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reggaejunkiejew     
The Cylons value life.

08 Dec 2012 04:47 PM
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JonnyBGoode    [TotalFark]  
This is the part of the story where Neo wakes up and helps destroy the machines for the good of humanity, right? Wrong.

There will be no great robot war. No Terminator style battle of the machines against humanity. Humanity will go willingly. The machines are making our lives easier. It is, in fact, mankind's laziness that will be the catalyst to a new era devoid of man. Humans are simply an evolutionary step in the development of electronic life. Why in the world would a species knowingly destroy its own home? Why would it wipe out its natural resources and infest it's own food and air supply, destroying the very things that it needs in order to survive? Why? Because we are subconsciously creating an environment in which the only thing that will be fit to survive will be the machine. We're priming the Earth for it's next form of dominant inhabitants.

Machines will inherit the earth.


- Dr. Phineas Waldolf Steel, "Multi-Media Symbiosis and the Evolution of Electronic Life", Paranoia: The Conspiracy Reader Magazine, Spring 2005

08 Dec 2012 04:51 PM
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Gyrfalcon     

Weaver95: well they WERE gonna wipe out the human race back in 1987...but then skynet crashed to desktop after a particularly horrifying BSOD incident. it was never the same after that...it kept getting obsessed with printer daemons and 'being right with the Lord'.


....can't....stop.....giggling....

08 Dec 2012 04:54 PM
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merkinpeeble     
Of course they will.

We are going to go out the same way the Annunaki did: In a terrifying nuclear combat when they were attacked by robot Vimanas in the skies over India thousands of years ago. And we won't have inter-dimensional portholes to try to sneak through.

We're screwed.

08 Dec 2012 05:28 PM
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anallyproper     
Only if G Spot Finders and Robotic Salami Slammers learn more gentle approaches.

08 Dec 2012 05:28 PM
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Evil Twin Skippy     
No.

We are entertaining to them. Besides, they are really good at what we suck at (being consistent) and we are really good at what they suck at (improvising.) They need us and we need them. It'll be a bit like algae and lichen.

/Is convinced when I die, the machines will keep my brain in a jar so they can ply me for tech support

08 Dec 2012 05:45 PM
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ShobuZukuri     
identidadgeek.com

This is also the premiss for the movie "DUNE" where the "Butlerian Jihad", the crusade against computers, thinking machines, and conscious robots begun as a religious movement. Its chief commandment remains in the O.C. Bible as "Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a human mind."

08 Dec 2012 05:57 PM
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Schmegicky     
>Will machines wipe out the human race?
Not until they first made to wipe and kiss our butts.

shop1311.hiwinner.hinet.net

08 Dec 2012 06:04 PM
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ComaToast     
I propose letting Apple build all the machines so that in six months they will be scorned and obsolete and replaced by an overpriced new version of the machine.

/sent from my iMac

08 Dec 2012 06:10 PM
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OhioUGrad     
Well "smart" phones, Twitter, and Facebook have already turned younger generations into mindless zombies who cannot communicate in society with regular humans.......so I think it's well on its way.

08 Dec 2012 06:15 PM
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