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   For parents who don't want to explain where babies really come from, the Daily Mail has you covered

09 Dec 2012 05:41 AM   |   13690 clicks   |   Daily Mail
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Frederick    [TotalFark]  
It's smart to lie to children about nature -and everything else. It makes sense in the long run.

\yes, Poe

08 Dec 2012 11:03 PM
brantgoose    [TotalFark]  
I'm pretty sure nobody ever told the Daily Mail where babies really come from.

08 Dec 2012 11:06 PM
brantgoose    [TotalFark]  
After looking at that series of photos, I think you should definitely tell the children the unvarnished and simplifed truth. Not only is that version very scary, it is an imitatable act which could lead to tragedy.

And as Farkers are likely to know, it wouldn't be the first time somebody has been blown up by an air hose.

08 Dec 2012 11:12 PM
RoyBatty     
Ha Ha Ha Ha, yeah, this meme was overplayed about 10 years ago.

08 Dec 2012 11:25 PM
BarkingUnicorn     
A kid who's naive enough to fall for that shouldn't be on the Internet.

And using those pics for sex ed was all subby's idea, not the DM's or the couple's.

08 Dec 2012 11:26 PM
Candygram4Mongo    [TotalFark]  
Courtesy of Yahoo Answers:


When a male and a female of the same species come together. The male leaves some of his fluid or pollen on or in (depending upon the species) the female. Then after a period of time a baby is produced. In animals like chickens the egg of the female is kept outside the animal and the chick hatches. In animals like humans the egg is keep inside the female and grows until it is ready to come out. When it comes out you have a cute little baby. =)


Also, sometimes alcohol is involved.

08 Dec 2012 11:28 PM
Chariset    [TotalFark]  
I don't care what you cynical Farkers think -- the photo where he's "catching" the baby made me laugh so hard the cats woke up.

08 Dec 2012 11:34 PM
AbbeySomeone     

Frederick: It's smart to lie to children about nature -and everything else. It makes sense in the long run.

\yes, Poe


Lighten up Frederick.

09 Dec 2012 04:31 AM
Amos Quito     
I thought it was adorable!

/cynical farks

09 Dec 2012 04:47 AM
quatchi    [TotalFark]  

Chariset: I don't care what you cynical Farkers think -- the photo where he's "catching" the baby made me laugh so hard the cats woke up.


THIS.

[ilol'd]

The expressions totally make it work for me.

It's like the facts of life as explained by Chuck Jones.

09 Dec 2012 05:15 AM
Frederick    [TotalFark]  

AbbeySomeone: Frederick: It's smart to lie to children about nature -and everything else. It makes sense in the long run.

\yes, Poe

Lighten up Frederick.


You say that now....but just wait when you find out the truth about Santa.

09 Dec 2012 05:23 AM
Amos Quito     

Frederick: AbbeySomeone: Frederick: It's smart to lie to children about nature -and everything else. It makes sense in the long run.

\yes, Poe

Lighten up Frederick.

You say that now....but just wait when you find out the truth about Santa.



Okay, who did he knock-up this time?

09 Dec 2012 05:25 AM
gumpy     
if you got to the effort of setting this up over the full term at least make the effort to keep the bloody hat and boots in all the way through.

Consistancy people!

09 Dec 2012 05:45 AM
Metalithic     

brantgoose: After looking at that series of photos, I think you should definitely tell the children the unvarnished and simplifed truth. Not only is that version very scary, it is an imitatable act which could lead to tragedy.

And as Farkers are likely to know, it wouldn't be the first time somebody has been blown up by an air hose.


I would hope no-one would try anything of that nature, but unfortunately I know better. Some people (especially children) are highly suggestible and not very bright. It's unlikely anyone would try to replicate the airpump trick, but not impossible.

09 Dec 2012 05:49 AM
sendtodave     

Frederick: It's smart to lie to children about nature -and everything else. It makes sense in the long run.

\yes, Poe


Santa Claus died for your sins.

09 Dec 2012 05:50 AM
sendtodave     

Metalithic: brantgoose: After looking at that series of photos, I think you should definitely tell the children the unvarnished and simplifed truth. Not only is that version very scary, it is an imitatable act which could lead to tragedy.

And as Farkers are likely to know, it wouldn't be the first time somebody has been blown up by an air hose.

I would hope no-one would try anything of that nature, but unfortunately I know better. Some people (especially children) are highly suggestible and not very bright. It's unlikely anyone would try to replicate the airpump trick, but not impossible.


Link

09 Dec 2012 05:55 AM
wildcardjack     
Something about this reminds me of the secret of Miley Cyrus's success: Strong whiskey and weak condoms.

09 Dec 2012 06:04 AM
gerbilpox     
Great, make it harder for future teenage boys. "No really, you can't get pregnant from blowing!"

09 Dec 2012 06:17 AM
starsrift     
Brilliant.

09 Dec 2012 06:17 AM
sleep lack     
cache.ohinternet.comView Full Size

09 Dec 2012 06:20 AM
Honest Bender    [TotalFark]  
Edna: Those two boys of yours weren't delivered by the stork.
Flanders: Yes they were. We deliberately chose a Doctor Stork so we could say it without lying.

09 Dec 2012 06:23 AM
Singleballtheory     
cdn.wikimg.netView Full Size


Claims to be the real father.

09 Dec 2012 06:44 AM
Mael99     

brantgoose: After looking at that series of photos, I think you should definitely tell the children the unvarnished and simplifed truth. Not only is that version very scary, it is an imitatable act which could lead to tragedy.

And as Farkers are likely to know, it wouldn't be the first time somebody has been blown up by an air hose.


Anyone who is THAT stupid doesn't need to be around to pollute the gene pool.

09 Dec 2012 07:01 AM
rooftop235    [TotalFark]  
That was brilliant. I only wish I had that much of a sense of humor. Good find, subby. I lol'd

09 Dec 2012 07:13 AM
Thats No Moose     

gumpy: if you got to the effort of setting this up over the full term at least make the effort to keep the bloody hat and boots in all the way through.

Consistancy people!


Take a look at what's on the box labelled "AIR" and what is in her hands through all the photos. In fact, the only indication it wasn't taken in one day is the melted snow in the first pic that has mysteriously disappeared through the rest.

09 Dec 2012 07:19 AM
styckx     
For parents who don't want to explain where babies really come from, the Daily Mail has you covered

No legitimate Farker wrote this. Everyone knows that everyone on Fark despises Daily Mail.. You won this time Steve Robson but we shall meet again...

09 Dec 2012 07:22 AM
Meatybrain     

Thats No Moose: gumpy: if you got to the effort of setting this up over the full term at least make the effort to keep the bloody hat and boots in all the way through.

Consistancy people!

Take a look at what's on the box labelled "AIR" and what is in her hands through all the photos. In fact, the only indication it wasn't taken in one day is the melted snow in the first pic that has mysteriously disappeared through the rest.


And the whole bringing a baby to full term thing, but who's counting?

09 Dec 2012 07:22 AM
Mr. Ekshun     

Chariset: I don't care what you cynical Farkers think -- the photo where he's "catching" the baby made me laugh so hard the cats woke up.


He even lost a shoe. Never would have happened if he'd been wearing some of these:

i.imgur.comView Full Size

09 Dec 2012 07:23 AM
Dwight_Yeast     

brantgoose: I'm pretty sure nobody ever told the Daily Mail where babies really come from.


I don't think that anyone who reads the Daily Mail should be allowed to procreate.

09 Dec 2012 07:27 AM
Hawnkee     

09 Dec 2012 07:29 AM
rico567     
Well.....the sequence of pix was kinda funny. And there's a surprising number of Farkers huffing about this thread, is this "National Hemorrhoids Out Day" or something?

09 Dec 2012 07:50 AM
dprathbun     

gumpy: if you got to the effort of setting this up over the full term at least make the effort to keep the bloody hat and boots in all the way through.

Consistancy people!


Her boobs got bigger too. Pretty lame.

09 Dec 2012 07:59 AM
JRoo     
Sometimes a girl and boy get together and drink and do things.

Crazy things.

Crazy things that end up destroying their lives for years.

One of those things is you!

09 Dec 2012 07:59 AM
Void_Beavis     

rico567: Well.....the sequence of pix was kinda funny. And there's a surprising number of Farkers huffing about this thread, is this "National Hemorrhoids Out Day" or something?


WelcomeToFark.jpg

09 Dec 2012 08:14 AM
Vertdang     

dprathbun: gumpy: if you got to the effort of setting this up over the full term at least make the effort to keep the bloody hat and boots in all the way through.

Consistancy people!

Her boobs got bigger too. Pretty lame awesome.


FTFY
/filter attempt: furst poast
//let's see if it boobies

09 Dec 2012 08:40 AM
sulco     
Yo, Justine... I heard your mom puts out.

/wonder where that air hose has been before?

09 Dec 2012 08:47 AM
someguy945     
For Farkers who don't want to know where content really comes from, Daily Mail reposts galleries from imgur/reddit/tumblr/etc

09 Dec 2012 08:56 AM
Coastalgrl     

gumpy: if you got to the effort of setting this up over the full term at least make the effort to keep the bloody hat and boots in all the way through.

Consistancy people!


She probably couldn't get the boots on. Women's feet tend to swell and potentially increase a half size permanently.

09 Dec 2012 08:58 AM
ramblinwreck     
No "how is babby formed," subby?

/son, I am disappoint

09 Dec 2012 09:10 AM
rnatalie    [TotalFark]  
I thought it was Mentos and pepsi:

Video

09 Dec 2012 09:46 AM
anfrind     

sendtodave: Frederick: It's smart to lie to children about nature -and everything else. It makes sense in the long run.

\yes, Poe

Santa Claus died for your sins.


The truth about Santa Claus

09 Dec 2012 11:21 AM
Coastalgrl     
What is a sad commentary on society and obsession with image and myself, the first thing I thought of was "another great figure ruined".

09 Dec 2012 11:24 AM
johnphantom     
So this is proof women are full of (hot) air?

09 Dec 2012 11:29 AM
powhound     
i48.tinypic.comView Full Size

09 Dec 2012 11:55 AM
Cataholic     
Poor kid has to grow up with some serious AWs for parents. The goo-tube/flash mob generation is going to be seriously warped. I look forward to them having to change my bedpan.

09 Dec 2012 11:59 AM
orbister     

brantgoose: And as Farkers are likely to know, it wouldn't be the first time somebody has been blown up by an air hose.


In the navel?

09 Dec 2012 12:16 PM
Brick-House     
Well that makes perfect sense when you consider the Average Farker's Date...

sprocketink.comView Full Size

09 Dec 2012 12:40 PM
macdaddy357     
Tell a kid who believes in cabbage patches or storks that a woman has a baby in her belly, he or she will think that the woman ate that baby, and will be traumatized. Just level with your kids about where babies come from, unless you are trying to make them afraid of the evil kid-eating woman.

09 Dec 2012 12:53 PM
Buffet     
After all this time - now I know!!

09 Dec 2012 05:20 PM
Metalithic     

sendtodave: Metalithic: brantgoose: After looking at that series of photos, I think you should definitely tell the children the unvarnished and simplifed truth. Not only is that version very scary, it is an imitatable act which could lead to tragedy.

And as Farkers are likely to know, it wouldn't be the first time somebody has been blown up by an air hose.

I would hope no-one would try anything of that nature, but unfortunately I know better. Some people (especially children) are highly suggestible and not very bright. It's unlikely anyone would try to replicate the airpump trick, but not impossible.

Link


Wow, that's awful. Poor kid, that's even worse than accidentally doing it to yourself. And the attackers were adults!

09 Dec 2012 11:40 PM
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