It's smart to lie to children about nature -and everything else. It makes sense in the long run.

\yes, Poe

I'm pretty sure nobody ever told the Daily Mail where babies really come from.

After looking at that series of photos, I think you should definitely tell the children the unvarnished and simplifed truth. Not only is that version very scary, it is an imitatable act which could lead to tragedy.

And as Farkers are likely to know, it wouldn't be the first time somebody has been blown up by an air hose.

Ha Ha Ha Ha, yeah, this meme was overplayed about 10 years ago.

A kid who's naive enough to fall for that shouldn't be on the Internet.

And using those pics for sex ed was all subby's idea, not the DM's or the couple's.

Courtesy of Yahoo Answers:


When a male and a female of the same species come together. The male leaves some of his fluid or pollen on or in (depending upon the species) the female. Then after a period of time a baby is produced. In animals like chickens the egg of the female is kept outside the animal and the chick hatches. In animals like humans the egg is keep inside the female and grows until it is ready to come out. When it comes out you have a cute little baby. =)


Also, sometimes alcohol is involved.

I don't care what you cynical Farkers think -- the photo where he's "catching" the baby made me laugh so hard the cats woke up.

Frederick: It's smart to lie to children about nature -and everything else. It makes sense in the long run.

\yes, Poe

Lighten up Frederick.

I thought it was adorable!

/cynical farks

Chariset: I don't care what you cynical Farkers think -- the photo where he's "catching" the baby made me laugh so hard the cats woke up.

THIS.

[ilol'd]

The expressions totally make it work for me.

It's like the facts of life as explained by Chuck Jones.

AbbeySomeone: Frederick: It's smart to lie to children about nature -and everything else. It makes sense in the long run.

\yes, Poe

Lighten up Frederick.

You say that now....but just wait when you find out the truth about Santa.

Frederick: AbbeySomeone: Frederick: It's smart to lie to children about nature -and everything else. It makes sense in the long run.

\yes, Poe

Lighten up Frederick.

You say that now....but just wait when you find out the truth about Santa.


Okay, who did he knock-up this time?

if you got to the effort of setting this up over the full term at least make the effort to keep the bloody hat and boots in all the way through.

Consistancy people!

brantgoose: After looking at that series of photos, I think you should definitely tell the children the unvarnished and simplifed truth. Not only is that version very scary, it is an imitatable act which could lead to tragedy.

And as Farkers are likely to know, it wouldn't be the first time somebody has been blown up by an air hose.

I would hope no-one would try anything of that nature, but unfortunately I know better. Some people (especially children) are highly suggestible and not very bright. It's unlikely anyone would try to replicate the airpump trick, but not impossible.

Frederick: It's smart to lie to children about nature -and everything else. It makes sense in the long run.

\yes, Poe

Santa Claus died for your sins.

Metalithic: brantgoose: After looking at that series of photos, I think you should definitely tell the children the unvarnished and simplifed truth. Not only is that version very scary, it is an imitatable act which could lead to tragedy.

And as Farkers are likely to know, it wouldn't be the first time somebody has been blown up by an air hose.

I would hope no-one would try anything of that nature, but unfortunately I know better. Some people (especially children) are highly suggestible and not very bright. It's unlikely anyone would try to replicate the airpump trick, but not impossible.

Link

Something about this reminds me of the secret of Miley Cyrus's success: Strong whiskey and weak condoms.

Great, make it harder for future teenage boys. "No really, you can't get pregnant from blowing!"

Brilliant.

Edna: Those two boys of yours weren't delivered by the stork.
Flanders: Yes they were. We deliberately chose a Doctor Stork so we could say it without lying.

Claims to be the real father.

brantgoose: After looking at that series of photos, I think you should definitely tell the children the unvarnished and simplifed truth. Not only is that version very scary, it is an imitatable act which could lead to tragedy.

And as Farkers are likely to know, it wouldn't be the first time somebody has been blown up by an air hose.

Anyone who is THAT stupid doesn't need to be around to pollute the gene pool.

That was brilliant. I only wish I had that much of a sense of humor. Good find, subby. I lol'd

gumpy: if you got to the effort of setting this up over the full term at least make the effort to keep the bloody hat and boots in all the way through.

Consistancy people!

Take a look at what's on the box labelled "AIR" and what is in her hands through all the photos. In fact, the only indication it wasn't taken in one day is the melted snow in the first pic that has mysteriously disappeared through the rest.

For parents who don't want to explain where babies really come from, the Daily Mail has you covered

No legitimate Farker wrote this. Everyone knows that everyone on Fark despises Daily Mail.. You won this time Steve Robson but we shall meet again...

Thats No Moose: gumpy: if you got to the effort of setting this up over the full term at least make the effort to keep the bloody hat and boots in all the way through.

Consistancy people!

Take a look at what's on the box labelled "AIR" and what is in her hands through all the photos. In fact, the only indication it wasn't taken in one day is the melted snow in the first pic that has mysteriously disappeared through the rest.

And the whole bringing a baby to full term thing, but who's counting?

Chariset: I don't care what you cynical Farkers think -- the photo where he's "catching" the baby made me laugh so hard the cats woke up.

He even lost a shoe. Never would have happened if he'd been wearing some of these:

brantgoose: I'm pretty sure nobody ever told the Daily Mail where babies really come from.

I don't think that anyone who reads the Daily Mail should be allowed to procreate.

Wednesday Addams explains everything

Well.....the sequence of pix was kinda funny. And there's a surprising number of Farkers huffing about this thread, is this "National Hemorrhoids Out Day" or something?

gumpy: if you got to the effort of setting this up over the full term at least make the effort to keep the bloody hat and boots in all the way through.

Consistancy people!

Her boobs got bigger too. Pretty lame.

Sometimes a girl and boy get together and drink and do things.

Crazy things.

Crazy things that end up destroying their lives for years.

One of those things is you!

rico567: Well.....the sequence of pix was kinda funny. And there's a surprising number of Farkers huffing about this thread, is this "National Hemorrhoids Out Day" or something?

WelcomeToFark.jpg

dprathbun: gumpy: if you got to the effort of setting this up over the full term at least make the effort to keep the bloody hat and boots in all the way through.

Consistancy people!

Her boobs got bigger too. Pretty lame awesome.

FTFY
/filter attempt: furst poast
//let's see if it boobies

Yo, Justine... I heard your mom puts out.

/wonder where that air hose has been before?

For Farkers who don't want to know where content really comes from, Daily Mail reposts galleries from imgur/reddit/tumblr/etc

gumpy: if you got to the effort of setting this up over the full term at least make the effort to keep the bloody hat and boots in all the way through.

Consistancy people!

She probably couldn't get the boots on. Women's feet tend to swell and potentially increase a half size permanently.

No "how is babby formed," subby?

/son, I am disappoint

I thought it was Mentos and pepsi:

Video

sendtodave: Frederick: It's smart to lie to children about nature -and everything else. It makes sense in the long run.

\yes, Poe

Santa Claus died for your sins.

The truth about Santa Claus

What is a sad commentary on society and obsession with image and myself, the first thing I thought of was "another great figure ruined".

So this is proof women are full of (hot) air?

Poor kid has to grow up with some serious AWs for parents. The goo-tube/flash mob generation is going to be seriously warped. I look forward to them having to change my bedpan.

brantgoose: And as Farkers are likely to know, it wouldn't be the first time somebody has been blown up by an air hose.

In the navel?

Well that makes perfect sense when you consider the Average Farker's Date...

Tell a kid who believes in cabbage patches or storks that a woman has a baby in her belly, he or she will think that the woman ate that baby, and will be traumatized. Just level with your kids about where babies come from, unless you are trying to make them afraid of the evil kid-eating woman.

After all this time - now I know!!

sendtodave: Metalithic: brantgoose: After looking at that series of photos, I think you should definitely tell the children the unvarnished and simplifed truth. Not only is that version very scary, it is an imitatable act which could lead to tragedy.

And as Farkers are likely to know, it wouldn't be the first time somebody has been blown up by an air hose.

I would hope no-one would try anything of that nature, but unfortunately I know better. Some people (especially children) are highly suggestible and not very bright. It's unlikely anyone would try to replicate the airpump trick, but not impossible.

Link

Wow, that's awful. Poor kid, that's even worse than accidentally doing it to yourself. And the attackers were adults!