Canada has constables?

More testicles means more iron, biatch!

FTA: "The 34-year-old lunch lady is charged with five counts of assault."

A whole schoolyard full of children and you could only manage to smack five of them? Sheesh, lady, it's like you weren't even trying. Next time, take a hockey stick with you. Not only will you be able to smack more kids, the ones you do smack will stay down longer.

Good for her! F'n little animals...

Hey, wait a minute! WTH is the lunch lady snapping and smacking kids? The kids are the ones who should be snapping and smacking lunch ladies. You're lucky I'm not a student there, lunch lady, otherwise I'd smack you with my hockey stick for all the times your colleagues served us flying saucers*


*Flying saucers are a slice of warmed bologna with an ice cream scoop of instant mashed potatoes placed in the center and topped with watery, runny cheese-flavored sauce. This was actually considered a nutritious lunch back in the late '70s and early '80s and was served with a straight face.

PacManDreaming: Hey, wait a minute! WTH is the lunch lady snapping and smacking kids? The kids are the ones who should be snapping and smacking lunch ladies. You're lucky I'm not a student there, lunch lady, otherwise I'd smack you with my hockey stick for all the times your colleagues served us flying saucers*


*Flying saucers are a slice of warmed bologna with an ice cream scoop of instant mashed potatoes placed in the center and topped with watery, runny cheese-flavored sauce. This was actually considered a nutritious lunch back in the late '70s and early '80s and was served with a straight face.

That sounds pretty good. I think I'm going to get some bologna.

PacManDreaming: Hey, wait a minute! WTH is the lunch lady snapping and smacking kids? The kids are the ones who should be snapping and smacking lunch ladies. You're lucky I'm not a student there, lunch lady, otherwise I'd smack you with my hockey stick for all the times your colleagues served us flying saucers*


*Flying saucers are a slice of warmed bologna with an ice cream scoop of instant mashed potatoes placed in the center and topped with watery, runny cheese-flavored sauce. This was actually considered a nutritious lunch back in the late '70s and early '80s and was served with a straight face.

Flying saucers are a fried crispy tortilla topped with refried beans, meat, cheese, lettuce, tomato and sour cream or a tostada.

RexTalionis: [gaslamppost.files.wordpress.com image 404x309]

Sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe yeah

PacManDreaming: Hey, wait a minute! WTH is the lunch lady snapping and smacking kids? The kids are the ones who should be snapping and smacking lunch ladies. You're lucky I'm not a student there, lunch lady, otherwise I'd smack you with my hockey stick for all the times your colleagues served us flying saucers*


*Flying saucers are a slice of warmed bologna with an ice cream scoop of instant mashed potatoes placed in the center and topped with watery, runny cheese-flavored sauce. This was actually considered a nutritious lunch back in the late '70s and early '80s and was served with a straight face.

Reminds me of that bubble tape commercial from the 90s. Also, I can't imagine what those little shats did to the lunch lady to push her over the edge.

You're all vermin! You come in here and you eat and you eat. FILTH!!!

I find this somewhat interesting since I lived near that school for 13 years. Those kids must have been pretty well motivated to move out of the way so quickly!! Only hit FIVE??

I would really like to know what upset the lunchlady so much that she would go OUTSIDE to get at kids. I mean, one can almost understand school bus drivers losing it on a kid on the bus, but they are in a confined space. Going outside? Huh? Enquiring minds want to know!!

/Mostly because I probably know some of the parents of kids there.

my hero!

TFA is really light on details, especially as to what set her off.

Also, I'm going to flex my GED in law here, but isn't assault saying "I'm gonna biatch slap you" and isn't it battery when you do the biatch slappin? If so, she could be charged with assault for simply threatening the 5 kids.

Damn!

Thats what I get for not hotlinking.

I thought they just dipped there weeners in the food.
Think about that next time kiddies.

This is a flying saucer.

I guess "lunch supervisor" means "lunch lady" to you americans (and subby).

In Canada, it usually means the teacher supervising the lunch break, not a cafeteria employee.

RexTalionis: PacManDreaming: Hey, wait a minute! WTH is the lunch lady snapping and smacking kids? The kids are the ones who should be snapping and smacking lunch ladies. You're lucky I'm not a student there, lunch lady, otherwise I'd smack you with my hockey stick for all the times your colleagues served us flying saucers*


*Flying saucers are a slice of warmed bologna with an ice cream scoop of instant mashed potatoes placed in the center and topped with watery, runny cheese-flavored sauce. This was actually considered a nutritious lunch back in the late '70s and early '80s and was served with a straight face.

That sounds pretty good. I think I'm going to get some bologna.

This is possibly the most messed-up cafeteria concoction since the infamous "meatza pie."

TheTurtle: RexTalionis: PacManDreaming: Hey, wait a minute! WTH is the lunch lady snapping and smacking kids? The kids are the ones who should be snapping and smacking lunch ladies. You're lucky I'm not a student there, lunch lady, otherwise I'd smack you with my hockey stick for all the times your colleagues served us flying saucers*


*Flying saucers are a slice of warmed bologna with an ice cream scoop of instant mashed potatoes placed in the center and topped with watery, runny cheese-flavored sauce. This was actually considered a nutritious lunch back in the late '70s and early '80s and was served with a straight face.

That sounds pretty good. I think I'm going to get some bologna.

This is possibly the most messed-up cafeteria concoction since the infamous "meatza pie."

I always loved when they declared Ketchup as a "Vegetable" within the official school dietary guidelines. Yep, that's nutritious!

at least she wasnt having sex with the students

johndalek: at least she wasnt having sex with the students

On the playground? You are kinky!

PacManDreaming: Hey, wait a minute! WTH is the lunch lady snapping and smacking kids? The kids are the ones who should be snapping and smacking lunch ladies. You're lucky I'm not a student there, lunch lady, otherwise I'd smack you with my hockey stick for all the times your colleagues served us flying saucers*


*Flying saucers are a slice of warmed bologna with an ice cream scoop of instant mashed potatoes placed in the center and topped with watery, runny cheese-flavored sauce. This was actually considered a nutritious lunch back in the late '70s and early '80s and was served with a straight face.

I thought I grew up in some hicksville, where the fark did you go to school, some backwoods redneck town? Back in the 70s-80s our school lunches where actually decent pretty decent. I've never heard of a bologna slice being served as a meat portion.

the_vegetarian_cannibal

You're all vermin! You come in here and you eat and you eat. FILTH!!!


That scene popped into my mind as well.

*Scooby fistbump*

RexTalionis: [gaslamppost.files.wordpress.com image 404x309]

You made something unfunny even more unfunny, though hipsters and 6 year olds will crack up.

Did nobody here go to Catholic School in the late 60s? Maybe SOS was a regional thing (Chambersburg PA).

I like how in stories like this they use the word "allegedly" in reporting the incident. Even though there are at least several eyewitnesses, the word "allegedly" is used as though there is some doubt to be cast on the witnesses testimony. I know, I know "innocent until proven guilty, etc.", but still...

titwrench: PacManDreaming: Hey, wait a minute! WTH is the lunch lady snapping and smacking kids? The kids are the ones who should be snapping and smacking lunch ladies. You're lucky I'm not a student there, lunch lady, otherwise I'd smack you with my hockey stick for all the times your colleagues served us flying saucers*


*Flying saucers are a slice of warmed bologna with an ice cream scoop of instant mashed potatoes placed in the center and topped with watery, runny cheese-flavored sauce. This was actually considered a nutritious lunch back in the late '70s and early '80s and was served with a straight face.

Flying saucers are a fried crispy tortilla topped with refried beans, meat, cheese, lettuce, tomato and sour cream or a tostada.

Ok that sounds yummy. That bologna thing, no way I would eat that, nope.

/thanks be to Mexican type food

johndalek: at least she wasnt having sex with the students

It always takes me a second to get the "lunch lady" jokes because my high school had a preposterously hot lunch lady. We also had a bunch of the more traditional lunch ladies, but Mother. Of. God. I can't even describe the hotness. You know that one student teacher you had, who was a little too reliant on the fact that she was a legitimately hot 22-year-old in a room of 16-year-old boys? Who settled rowdy classes down by straight-up flirting them into submission? And when David Lucchesi found out she was engaged he actually cried? Yeah, this lunch lady made her look like Rhea Perlman.

Anyway, its not like our lunch lady ever fooled around with any students or anything. She gave you the same dead-eyed look that every other lunch lady has since the dawn of time. But she was responsible for more fifth-period boners than Stephanie Paratore.

/Stephanie Paratore was pretty much boning Bobby Pryzybla every day during lunch, hence the magnitude of boner-creation I'm talking about with that lunch lady
//damn, now I'm hungry for a really awful 85¢ school cafeteria lunch

PacManDreaming: Hey, wait a minute! WTH is the lunch lady snapping and smacking kids? The kids are the ones who should be snapping and smacking lunch ladies. You're lucky I'm not a student there, lunch lady, otherwise I'd smack you with my hockey stick for all the times your colleagues served us flying saucers*....

(signed) Kid She Missed

Unfortunately, there is no cure for PMS.

I bet she was upset because the kids refused to hear her fur burger.

When I was in middle school, we had an outside walk-up window where you could get snack type stuff at lunch. Typically, I got a beef burrito, Andy Capp Hot Fries and a can of iced tea. One day I opened my tea, only to have it uncharacteristically fizz and foam out. I took a swig, and it had somehow fermented in the can, making it taste vile. Missed opportunity, but I took it back and told the lunch lady, and requested another can. She took a swig of it and proclaimed "THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS! THE PROBLEM IS YOU! IT'S YOU KIDS AND YOUR DIRTY, STINKING, FILTHY MOUTHS!" I then asked her for another can because she put her mouth on mine, and she started into a lengthy stream of vile profanity as she left the counter.

Fortunately, the other lady there gave me new tea.

/CSB

johndalek: at least she wasnt having sex with the students

They didn't say if it was decent or indecent assault.

ReapTheChaos: PacManDreaming: Hey, wait a minute! WTH is the lunch lady snapping and smacking kids? The kids are the ones who should be snapping and smacking lunch ladies. You're lucky I'm not a student there, lunch lady, otherwise I'd smack you with my hockey stick for all the times your colleagues served us flying saucers*


*Flying saucers are a slice of warmed bologna with an ice cream scoop of instant mashed potatoes placed in the center and topped with watery, runny cheese-flavored sauce. This was actually considered a nutritious lunch back in the late '70s and early '80s and was served with a straight face.

I thought I grew up in some hicksville, where the fark did you go to school, some backwoods redneck town? Back in the 70s-80s our school lunches where actually decent pretty decent. I've never heard of a bologna slice being served as a meat portion.

Yep, I grew up in a rural town(pop. 4498 when I was a kid). The "flying saucers" were the only really crappy meal they served. Well, the bland navy beans with compressed sawdust cornbread was bad, but for totally different reasons. The chicken fried steak and their hamburgers are meals I actually miss and have never been able to replicate. A lot of our meat portions, for some meals, were actually made of venison that had been donated to the school system by hunters.

Colin O'Scopy: I guess "lunch supervisor" means "lunch lady" to you americans (and subby).

In Canada, it usually means the teacher supervising the lunch break, not a cafeteria employee.

The article refers to her as a lunch supervisor AND a lunch lady. Go be pedantic somewhere else

THESE are flying saucers:

Old Man Winter: RexTalionis: [gaslamppost.files.wordpress.com image 404x309]

You made something unfunny even more unfunny, though hipsters and 6 year olds will crack up.

Lighten up, man.

Flying saucers? I still say it's a streetlight.

the_vegetarian_cannibal: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 850x637]

You're all vermin! You come in here and you eat and you eat. FILTH!!!

Thankfully most people don't know that rat poison is just a rather powerful blood thinner. So most people that get poisoned by it just need vitamin K and/or bed rest.

Essex is the New Jersey of Belgium.

the_vegetarian_cannibal: You're all vermin! You come in here and you eat and you eat. FILTH!!!

I don't see this being settled with logic.

Pretty good for a lunch lady

"The school's principal and vice-principal intervened and fortunately nobody was seriously hurt," Vella said. "None of the students required medical attention."

Wait, they're getting paid to be principle and vice-principle and they're out on the playground with no one else to take care of things?

thatboyoverthere: the_vegetarian_cannibal: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 850x637]

You're all vermin! You come in here and you eat and you eat. FILTH!!!

Thankfully most people don't know that rat poison is just a rather powerful blood thinner. So most people that get poisoned by it just need vitamin K and/or bed rest.

And to not hemorrhage and die from internal bleeding.

the_vegetarian_cannibal: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 850x637]

You're all vermin! You come in here and you eat and you eat. FILTH!!!


Not amused.