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   Alabama's last dry county, where pretty much everyone drinks but keeps voting against it

09 Dec 2012 09:46 PM   |   9772 clicks   |   Utah Daily Herald Extra
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edmo    [TotalFark]  
That pretty well capture a lot about "family values." Talk a good story, do what you want, condemn others who do what they want.

09 Dec 2012 09:02 PM
quatchi     
He says people won't vote for it in a rural area where family values are important.

Bootlegging is a family value in Alabama now?

09 Dec 2012 09:03 PM
Elzar     
FTA: People like the Rev. Bruce Willis say it's unlikely the county will ever go wet. He says people won't vote for it in a rural area where family values are important.

So much awesome in that paragraph... Yipiee Ki Yay mothermoonshiners

<inigomontoya.jpg>
/ Family values do not work that way

09 Dec 2012 09:27 PM
L.D. Ablo    [TotalFark]  
Why, that is a traditional Republican value.

Publicly condemn something and then secretly enjoy it.

Just like their sex, government spending and how they pretend to be Christians while never reading the Bible.

09 Dec 2012 09:30 PM
fusillade762     
Bootleggers are still a thing?

09 Dec 2012 09:32 PM
doyner    [TotalFark]  

09 Dec 2012 09:44 PM
Somacandra    [TotalFark]  
There must be an exception for sacramental wine for both Catholics and Jews. There was in the Prohibition laws.

09 Dec 2012 09:45 PM
revrendjim    [TotalFark]  
I lived in a dry county in west Texas. You knew you reached the county line when there was a liquor store next to the highway in the middle of nowhere.

09 Dec 2012 09:47 PM
Tourney3p0     
Anyone feel like linking to their crime and divorce rates? Family values and all.

09 Dec 2012 09:49 PM
Arkanaut    [TotalFark]  
Maybe the neighboring counties are sabotaging the vote so people will go there to get their liquor.

09 Dec 2012 09:49 PM
wildlifer     

doyner: Alabama has nothing on Arkansas in this regard.


You ought to see what happens if you try and buy sparkling grape juice on Sunday. The register lights up like a slot machine. No alcohol sales on Sunday! Ummm it's juice. Sorry no sale!

09 Dec 2012 09:52 PM
phrawgh     
We're in ur county, restrictin' ur freedomzzz!

09 Dec 2012 09:53 PM
nmemkha     
Yes, hypocrisy must be a "Family Value" since so many Conservatives practice it.

09 Dec 2012 09:54 PM
Gyrfalcon    [TotalFark]  
People like the Rev. Bruce Willis say it's unlikely the county will ever go wet. He says people won't vote for it in a rural area where family values are important.

Translation: Anyone who tries to get the law changed gets his ass handed to him in the next election by his opponent conveniently running on a "family values" platform, knowing full well that NOBODY will vote against "family values" whatever the hell that means.

Not unlike anyone in California who tries to get the three-strikes law amended and then gets clobbered by whoever wants to win running on a "tough on crime" ticket. Because we can't be soft on crime, right?

09 Dec 2012 09:56 PM
eraser8     
Alabama is a horrible place.

It really is. I'm not joking.

09 Dec 2012 09:57 PM
Bedstead Polisher     
Rev. Bruce Willis?! fark yeah!

09 Dec 2012 09:58 PM
zamboni    [TotalFark]  
Man... there must be a lot of Baptists in that county!

09 Dec 2012 09:58 PM
Jgok     

revrendjim: I lived in a dry county in west Texas. You knew you reached the county line when there was a liquor store next to the highway in the middle of nowhere.


Yep, there are several dry counties in my area, and there's a "gas station" just outside the county line on every road, and an ABC Store on the main road. Inside each "gas station", they have wall-length beer coolers on at least two of the walls.

09 Dec 2012 09:58 PM
atomic-age     

Somacandra: There must be an exception for sacramental wine for both Catholics and Jews. There was in the Prohibition laws.


It's Clay County, AL. I'd be shocked if anyone is anything aside from about four flavors of Baptist.
/From Alabama
//Never moving back.

09 Dec 2012 09:58 PM
RottenEggs     
Thats what happens when church folks and bootleggers form a coalition .

09 Dec 2012 10:00 PM
Shadow Blasko     

doyner: Alabama has nothing on Arkansas in this regard.


Kentucky is so messed up it gets it's own page.

09 Dec 2012 10:00 PM
The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves     
I think when the county bank accounts run dry they will have a revelation from Jeebus that liquor revenue ain't so bad.

09 Dec 2012 10:02 PM
JonBuck     
They get to lord their moral superiority over their neighbors while moonshining (because it makes them feel like rebels from government control).

09 Dec 2012 10:05 PM
TV's Vinnie     

L.D. Ablo: Why, that is a traditional Republican value.

Publicly condemn something and then secretly enjoy it.

Just like their sex, government spending and how they pretend to be Christians while never reading the Bible.


You know........
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

.........Buttholes.

09 Dec 2012 10:05 PM
suckerpunch     
Why do you you always take take two Baptists fishing with you?

Because if you only bring one, he'll drink all your beer.

/funny because it's true
//I know it's true because of the scowl my Baptist aunt made when I told her that joke

09 Dec 2012 10:05 PM
BitwiseShift     
Usually drinkers are more discrete in dry counties. Most days. Same thing for marijuana smokers -- more discrete in places that frown on marijuana. Serial killers really have the hardest time.

09 Dec 2012 10:05 PM
Silverstaff     
I don't know about Alabama politics, but every single time a Wet/Dry vote comes up in Kentucky, you know in advance who's going to say what.

The Dry side will be lead by the preachers, especially the Southern Baptist ones. They'll be preaching from the pulpit (and writing to the newspapers, and maybe speaking on local radio stations) about how this vote will lead to more drunk driving, hence wrecks and deaths and endangering children. They'll talk about how alcohol destroys morality and is sinful and anti-Christian and it goes against the values of the community. They'll basically recite verbatim the temperance movement speeches of a century ago.

The Wet side will be lead by businessmen. They'll note how people already drink in the county, they just drive to the nearest Wet county to buy liquor (typically at one right on the county line). They'll note how people leave town to go several towns over to go to a place that serves liquor so they can have beer or wine with their meal. They'll argue about how bringing liquor sales in locally won't change how much drinking is done, but it will make sure the purchases are local and thus put money into the local economy.

As to which side wins, it's usually the businessmen leading the Wet charge, since everybody is drinking anyway and the idea of having better restaurants locally and not having to drive for 40 or 50 minutes to get to a liquor store is appealing. However, sometimes (especially in more rural counties where the preachers have more public power) the Dry vote still wins out.

Kentucky Liquor Laws are farked up.

09 Dec 2012 10:05 PM
Gyrfalcon    [TotalFark]  

BitwiseShift: Usually drinkers are more discrete in dry counties. Most days. Same thing for marijuana smokers -- more discrete in places that frown on marijuana. Serial killers really have the hardest time.


Yes, there are only a few counties that allow serial killers to work openly and without glares from the general populace.

09 Dec 2012 10:07 PM
Harry_Seldon     

quatchi: He says people won't vote for it in a rural area where family values are important.

Bootlegging is a family value in Alabama now?


It has value to families in the bootlegging business.

09 Dec 2012 10:08 PM
professional_vampire    [TotalFark]  

atomic-age: Somacandra: There must be an exception for sacramental wine for both Catholics and Jews. There was in the Prohibition laws.

It's Clay County, AL. I'd be shocked if anyone is anything aside from about four flavors of Baptist.
/From Alabama
//Never moving back.


Same here. My parents still live in Bama and keep trying to get me to move back there - it's not happening. I'm happier living in Jersey (and I hate Jersey).

09 Dec 2012 10:09 PM
Demetrius    [TotalFark]  

eraser8: Alabama is a horrible place.

It really is. I'm not joking.


I just set foot in Alabama for the first time in my life today. First thing I saw coming through the clouds were a couple of huge churches. I got to thinking that damn, I'm a Yankee, a heathen, and by their terms at least, a librul. I'm pretty much not going to talk down here.

To be fair, I haven't heard "Y'all are from around here, are ya?" or "Roll Tide!" yet. But I've only seen family. I've got a full day down here tomorrow before I have to go to a funeral on Tuesday. Right now I'm in the hotel, and there are no less than 15 different religious channels on the TV. I did manage to get beer tonight though.

Sure, the cost of living might be cheaper around here, but other than that I haven't seen a single compelling reason to spend any time here.

09 Dec 2012 10:09 PM
phrawgh     
Even today, Clay County is one of only three counties in Alabama to have no U.S. Highways in its boundaries. - Check. Hopeless backwater.

During the Desert Shield/Storm conflict, Clay County had more soldiers serving per capita than any other county in the United States - Check. They'd do anything to get out of there.

Clay County, AL, violent crime, on a scale from 1 (low crime) to 10, is 6. Violent crime is composed of four offenses: murder and nonnegligent manslaughter, forcible rape, robbery, and aggravated assault. The US average is 4. Check. Above average violent crime.

17.10% of the population were below the poverty line, including 21.60% of those under age 18 and 19.00% of those age 65 or over.

About what I expected.

/seems the link went dry

09 Dec 2012 10:11 PM
Robots are Strong     

L.D. Ablo: Why, that is a traditional Republican value.

Publicly condemn something and then secretly enjoy it.

Just like their sex, government spending and how they pretend to be Christians while never reading the Bible.


They make love standing up so the lord thinks they're dancing.

09 Dec 2012 10:13 PM
ManRay     
Majority rule can be farked up sometimes.

09 Dec 2012 10:15 PM
alienated     

Gyrfalcon: Not unlike anyone in California who tries to get the three-strikes law amended and then gets clobbered by whoever wants to win running on a "tough on crime" ticket. Because we can't be soft on crime, right?


well, we did , just last month .... took long enough.

09 Dec 2012 10:17 PM
PanicMan    [TotalFark]  

eraser8: Alabama is a horrible place.

It really is. I'm not joking.


Yeah, I wish I could find some saving grace about Alabama, but there really isn't any. Huntsville is mostly tolerable. That's about it.

09 Dec 2012 10:18 PM
mike_d85     
Allow me to shed light on the "Family values" scenario:

Not family values - Going out to a bar, getting hammered and nailing the 55 year old waitress that works there.

Family values - drinking booze that you made in your backyard with close freinds and family and nailing the woman that lives there.

/I meant your wife
//sick bastards

09 Dec 2012 10:18 PM
buzzcut73     
I'm so glad I don't live in one of those wet/dry county states, mine is screwed up enough with an artificial cap on liquor licenses that was set by the legislature a decade or two ago. They based number of licenses on population...the problem is that counties that have seen a huge increase in population still have the old number of liquor licenses to go around, and counties that have less still have the same number they did when the cap was enacted.

In short, it makes no sense to me. If a business can pay for a liquor license, let 'em have one. If they run a shiatty bar, it will be out of business soon enough anyway.

09 Dec 2012 10:20 PM
mike_d85     

Robots are Strong: L.D. Ablo: Why, that is a traditional Republican value.

Publicly condemn something and then secretly enjoy it.

Just like their sex, government spending and how they pretend to be Christians while never reading the Bible.

They make love standing up so the lord thinks they're dancing.


www.hotflick.netView Full Size


And just what makes you think that's ok?

09 Dec 2012 10:20 PM
radiobiz     

Demetrius: eraser8:
To be fair, I haven't heard "Y'all are from around here, are ya?" or "Roll Tide!" yet.


Jeez, my kinfolk lettin me down. Where are their manners? Roll Tide!

09 Dec 2012 10:22 PM
radiobiz     

PanicMan: eraser8: Alabama is a horrible place.

It really is. I'm not joking.

Yeah, I wish I could find some saving grace about Alabama, but there really isn't any. Huntsville is mostly tolerable. That's about it.


Aww he'll no. Huntsville sucks. Some of the people are ok but the whole damn town sits inside that bowl made by the mountains. It traps all the allergens and kills my sinuses.

Come on down to the coast. Orange Beach is where it's at.

09 Dec 2012 10:25 PM
atomic-age     

PanicMan: eraser8: Alabama is a horrible place.

It really is. I'm not joking.

Yeah, I wish I could find some saving grace about Alabama, but there really isn't any. Huntsville is mostly tolerable. That's about it.


Here's one:

http://www.materspizza.com/

If my husband loved me more, he'd have one of those pizzas shipped to me.

09 Dec 2012 10:25 PM
atomic-age     
er, link

Link

09 Dec 2012 10:25 PM
namatad    [TotalFark]  
It isn't illegal to have a small amount of alcohol in Clay County
Nope
It is legal to have ENORMOUS amounts of alcohol in Clay County.
Turns out it is unconstitutional for a state to make possession of alcohol illegal.
So go ahead and buy 3 kegs for your house.
And just shoot the revenoors if they show up.

09 Dec 2012 10:26 PM
LittleSmitty     

quatchi: He says people won't vote for it in a rural area where family values are important.

Bootlegging is a family value in Alabama now?


Bootlegging, incest, racism, being uneducated, chewing tobacco/skoal, teenage pregnancy, etc.

Alabama is a nice place with nice people.

But, it's poor, wages are poor, State Income Tax, food is taxed and the government is loaded up with bible thumpers.

/Native
//Escaped (but to Florida, so it's a wash at best)
///not going back

09 Dec 2012 10:27 PM
wildcardjack    [TotalFark]  
I moved to Tyler, Tx for college and in one month there were three drunk driver incidents because people had to drive on 70mph roads in order to get to the county line liquor stores. If the county had been wet then they could have gone to a street corner.

I think it's the stores outside the county that spend the most on keeping a county dry.

09 Dec 2012 10:27 PM
TuteTibiImperes    [TotalFark]  

Demetrius: eraser8: Alabama is a horrible place.

It really is. I'm not joking.

I just set foot in Alabama for the first time in my life today. First thing I saw coming through the clouds were a couple of huge churches. I got to thinking that damn, I'm a Yankee, a heathen, and by their terms at least, a librul. I'm pretty much not going to talk down here.

To be fair, I haven't heard "Y'all are from around here, are ya?" or "Roll Tide!" yet. But I've only seen family. I've got a full day down here tomorrow before I have to go to a funeral on Tuesday. Right now I'm in the hotel, and there are no less than 15 different religious channels on the TV. I did manage to get beer tonight though.

Sure, the cost of living might be cheaper around here, but other than that I haven't seen a single compelling reason to spend any time here.


I have a lot of family in AL. I haven't been back in a while, but I remember when I was younger my parents would load us all into the car and drive down every other summer. He'd always make the joke that there were two food groups in AL - fried chicken and catfish.

/to be fair, there's also collard greens and corn bread
//but darn, if there wasn't a sign advertising fried chicken and/or catfish every few miles on whatever road it was we took into Birmingham

09 Dec 2012 10:28 PM
namatad    [TotalFark]  
Alaska

State law allows each village to decide on restrictions, and some boroughs may prohibit it altogether.[57]
Three terms describing Alaskan Villages in common usage:
A "Dry Village" bans both the sale and possession of alcohol.
A "Wet Village" permits both the sale and possession of alcohol.
A "Damp Village" permits possession of alcohol but bans the sale of it..


HOW THE fark is possession illegal??
SHEESHHHHH
I hate these people.
I am SOOOO going to get arrested in one of these dumb fark villages and then sue them blind.

09 Dec 2012 10:30 PM
JesseL     
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bootleggers_and _Baptists 

This situation is driven at least as much by economics as moralism.

09 Dec 2012 10:32 PM
trappedspirit     
This headline from the bureau of stats of "everyone smokes pot" and "most people have experimented with LSD" department. Always an informative group of people.

09 Dec 2012 10:32 PM
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