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   Boy could be killed by Christmas due to extreme allergy to pine trees (w/pic)

09 Dec 2012 11:00 PM   |   7414 clicks   |   The Sun
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TommyymmoT     
Fox will call the boy a liberal, and say it is simply Christmas fighting back.

09 Dec 2012 07:49 PM
Nefarious    [TotalFark]  
Subby, I see what you did there.

09 Dec 2012 07:54 PM
ToxicMunkee     
But she admitted that her parents have a real pine - so when she and Theo visit, they have to stay in a different room.


Wow. Grandma and grandpa are dicks.

09 Dec 2012 07:55 PM
Barfmaker    [TotalFark]  

ToxicMunkee: But she admitted that her parents have a real pine - so when she and Theo visit, they have to stay in a different room.


Wow. Grandma and grandpa are dicks.


Heh yeah, and momma is an angel even though she brings him within a few feet of something that will kill him instantly? No, it's grandma's fault.

Pile 'o crap.

09 Dec 2012 08:03 PM
ToxicMunkee     

Barfmaker: ToxicMunkee: But she admitted that her parents have a real pine - so when she and Theo visit, they have to stay in a different room.


Wow. Grandma and grandpa are dicks.

Heh yeah, and momma is an angel even though she brings him within a few feet of something that will kill him instantly? No, it's grandma's fault.

Pile 'o crap.


In my fantasies other people's grandparents should be better than mine were. They're supposed to love and coddle and spoil, not selfishly put up a real tree which could kill their own grandson.

So I guess the reality is many grandparents are as big of dicks as mine were.

09 Dec 2012 08:06 PM
ThatGuyFromTheInternet     
Killed? Nah, just pining for the fjords.

09 Dec 2012 08:07 PM
Amos Quito     
If he's that allergic to pines, Christmas is the least of his worries.


/Grandparents are knotty

09 Dec 2012 08:15 PM
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
+1 for tag use.

09 Dec 2012 08:18 PM
basemetal    [TotalFark]  
Meh, the snowflake should stay in his bubble then.

09 Dec 2012 08:20 PM
brap    [TotalFark]  

ToxicMunkee: But she admitted that her parents have a real pine - so when she and Theo visit, they have to stay in a different room.


Wow. Grandma and grandpa are dicks.



When it comes to humpytime, Grandma and grandpa need a safe room like everyone else.  Perhaps even a SAFER room than everyone else.

09 Dec 2012 08:21 PM
InspectorZero     
Ugh. White people problems.

09 Dec 2012 08:23 PM
ITGreen     

ToxicMunkee: But she admitted that her parents have a real pine - so when she and Theo visit, they have to stay in a different room.


Wow. Grandma and grandpa are dicks.


Right.

09 Dec 2012 08:36 PM
Radak     

InspectorZero: Ugh. White people problems.


Wait a minute, are you saying that if I wasn't white, I would be immortal? Of all the racial luck...

09 Dec 2012 09:16 PM
xenophon10k     
Sappy?

[citizenkaneslowclap.gif]

09 Dec 2012 09:32 PM
NFA    [TotalFark]  
I have an evergreen tree allergy too (pine, spruce, Juniper, etc). I have to wear a mask when I mow the grass near the evergreen trees in the yard or have a strong allergy attack. It's not life threatening but it sure isn't pleasant.

It's weird, I've never had a reaction to poison ivy, sumac or other rash causing plants but if I brush against a cedar tree or juniper bush if feels like I've been burned with acid and I itch for days.

Sort of know how the kid feels.

09 Dec 2012 09:49 PM
AbbeySomeone     

ToxicMunkee: Barfmaker: ToxicMunkee: But she admitted that her parents have a real pine - so when she and Theo visit, they have to stay in a different room.


Wow. Grandma and grandpa are dicks.

Heh yeah, and momma is an angel even though she brings him within a few feet of something that will kill him instantly? No, it's grandma's fault.

Pile 'o crap.

In my fantasies other people's grandparents should be better than mine were. They're supposed to love and coddle and spoil, not selfishly put up a real tree which could kill their own grandson.

So I guess the reality is many grandparents are as big of dicks as mine were.


I call lbullsh*t on this. If he were truly that allergic he would have a reaction once inside the house. A responsible and caring parent would not take him into that environment. She is aw'ing both of them and telling the public about what a great chance they are both taking to visit the grandparents.
She claims to have had him tested because she was tested. I have severe allergies and I am skeptical of some allergy claims. Many are psychosymatic.Anxiety about the holidays is easily misdiagnosed as an allergy to the tree or some other holiday substance. People with true allergies just want to live their lives peacefully and not create attention IMHO.

09 Dec 2012 09:56 PM
Babwa Wawa     

AbbeySomeone: I call lbullsh*t on this. If he were truly that allergic he would have a reaction once inside the house


Nah. My daughter has a no shiat allergy to peanuts, but we feed my son PBJ at the same table. Since the first grade, she sits with kids at the school who may or may not have PBJs. She knows not to eat anyone else's food and wash her hands after lunch, and that's it.

However, I do concur on the AW bit - there's zero reason to keep them out of friends' houses if there's a tree there - unless the kid is somehow mentally debilitated he ought to be able to regulate himself. It is, after all, a six foot f*cking plant, and it's usually in a corner.

09 Dec 2012 10:16 PM
FunkOut    [TotalFark]  

InspectorZero: Ugh. White people problems.


Yup, because there's no black people out there allergic to dairy or shellfish.

09 Dec 2012 11:03 PM
MrHappyRotter     

FunkOut: InspectorZero: Ugh. White people problems.

Yup, because there's no black people out there allergic to dairy or shellfish.


LOLRANDOM

09 Dec 2012 11:05 PM
stuffy     
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size

He is so screwed.

09 Dec 2012 11:08 PM
Nothing To See Here     
I hope he never meets Forrest Gump.

09 Dec 2012 11:10 PM
JerkyMeat    [TotalFark]  
Anyone else notice subby's clever use of the sappy tag??

09 Dec 2012 11:10 PM
The Bunyip     
I guess there's no trees on his mirror so his car won't smell....

09 Dec 2012 11:10 PM
ninotchka     
I'm allergic to pine trees. I can't be in a house with a real Christmas Tree

09 Dec 2012 11:11 PM
farkingismybusiness    [TotalFark]  
i.imgur.comView Full Size

09 Dec 2012 11:11 PM
GoldSpider    [TotalFark]  
Certainly not the last civilian life that will be taken by the War on Christmas.

09 Dec 2012 11:12 PM
phrawgh     

TommyymmoT: Fox will call the boy a liberal, and say it is simply Christmas fighting back.


When will Fox denounce the Chrstmas War on Children?

09 Dec 2012 11:13 PM
Nothing To See Here     
He drives a Chevy, but pines for the Fords.

09 Dec 2012 11:13 PM
Eatin' Queer Fetuses for Jesus     
Just over two weeks left if you want to kill the kid by Christmas. Better get crackin'.

09 Dec 2012 11:14 PM
Counter_Intelligent     
I didn't think Christmas trees were pines. Am I wrong?

09 Dec 2012 11:15 PM
TheTurtle     
Hey, HOOGIZZAshiat????

I know it's a slow news day, but really, this shiat got a greenie?

09 Dec 2012 11:16 PM
TheTurtle     

Nothing To See Here: He drives a Chevy, but pines for the Fnords.


FTFY

09 Dec 2012 11:16 PM
Nothing To See Here     
I have a Xmas ornament of him at the top of our tree,
Well at least I told where to stick our pine tree if he was coming over.

09 Dec 2012 11:16 PM
TheTurtle     

FunkOut: InspectorZero: Ugh. White people problems.

Yup, because there's no black people out there allergic to dairy or shellfish.


They make Christmas trees out of clam dip now?

09 Dec 2012 11:18 PM
doglover    [TotalFark]  

ToxicMunkee: But she admitted that her parents have a real pine - so when she and Theo visit, they have to stay in a different room.


Wow. Grandma and grandpa are dicks.


There's loving and spoiling their disabled grandson, then there's mollycoddling him.

I can spoil you at your house. I'll leave my crazy pet that likes to eat grandchildren at home.
You come to my house, you'd best BEWARE OF DOG. or tree in this case.

/would never get a real tree indoors.

09 Dec 2012 11:18 PM
Jument     

Babwa Wawa: AbbeySomeone: I call lbullsh*t on this. If he were truly that allergic he would have a reaction once inside the house

Nah. My daughter has a no shiat allergy to peanuts, but we feed my son PBJ at the same table. Since the first grade, she sits with kids at the school who may or may not have PBJs. She knows not to eat anyone else's food and wash her hands after lunch, and that's it.

However, I do concur on the AW bit - there's zero reason to keep them out of friends' houses if there's a tree there - unless the kid is somehow mentally debilitated he ought to be able to regulate himself. It is, after all, a six foot f*cking plant, and it's usually in a corner.


I imagine it depends on the allergy and if bits of whatever it is can become airborne. Peanut butter does not become airborne unless you throw it. Pet dander and pollen spread through the air with ease.

09 Dec 2012 11:19 PM
Head_Shot     

The Bunyip: I guess there's no trees on his mirror so his car won't smell....


Having trouble placing that...Is it the Beastie Boys?

09 Dec 2012 11:20 PM
Valiente     
Wood I give a fark?

09 Dec 2012 11:20 PM
Smeggy Smurf     
With luck this genetic defect will die before it breeds

09 Dec 2012 11:21 PM
Nothing To See Here     
image17.spreadshirt.comView Full Size

09 Dec 2012 11:24 PM
phrawgh     
www.audiophileusa.comView Full Size

09 Dec 2012 11:25 PM
FunkOut    [TotalFark]  

TheTurtle: FunkOut: InspectorZero: Ugh. White people problems.

Yup, because there's no black people out there allergic to dairy or shellfish.

They make Christmas trees out of clam dip now?


Funny response : "You've never experience Christmas in Newfoundland, have you?"

Non-funny response : "InspectorZero thinks allergies are only white people problems and I knew a Jamaican guy who would drop dead if he ate shellfish."

09 Dec 2012 11:27 PM
Babwa Wawa     

Jument: I imagine it depends on the allergy and if bits of whatever it is can become airborne. Peanut butter does not become airborne unless you throw it. Pet dander and pollen spread through the air with ease.


Pet dander and hay fever do not cause anaphylactic reactions. If they cause any sort of severe reaction, there's zero chance this kid would be allowed in grandpappy's house if there was a tree there. Hell, there'd be a good chance this kid woudn't be allowed OUTSIDE if that were the case.

09 Dec 2012 11:28 PM
Gnu Mutant     
Yes, best tag award.

09 Dec 2012 11:28 PM
Canton     
Pity about that. A real Christmas tree can really spruce up a home.

09 Dec 2012 11:29 PM
Nothing To See Here     
Kid will never be a Branch Manager.

09 Dec 2012 11:31 PM
skinink     
"So here's the deal, son. Somewhere in the middle of that group of pine trees is an Apple iPad and an XBox 360. If you find them and get out of there before your pine allergies kill you, you can keep both gifts."

09 Dec 2012 11:32 PM
Nothing To See Here     
Hate to pull the Race Card. . . But,

This kid is banned from the Pinewood Derby

09 Dec 2012 11:38 PM
Bathia_Mapes    [TotalFark]  

Counter_Intelligent: I didn't think Christmas trees were pines. Am I wrong?



The trees generally used are an evergreen conifer such as pine or fir. 

09 Dec 2012 11:39 PM
FunkOut    [TotalFark]  

Bathia_Mapes: Counter_Intelligent: I didn't think Christmas trees were pines. Am I wrong?

The trees generally used are an evergreen conifer such as pine or fir.


Blue tipped spruce are very sharp on the needles and hurt. On the bright side, soft ornaments stick to them like it was velcro.

09 Dec 2012 11:42 PM
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