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   Not news: Attempted carjacking in church parking lot. News: By two precocious 7 and 11 year olds. Fark: With guns

10 Dec 2012 11:05 AM   |   4126 clicks   |   SeattlePI
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Diogenes    [TotalFark]  
Adorably felonious!

10 Dec 2012 10:07 AM
trivial use of my dark powers     
How bootstrappy.

10 Dec 2012 10:47 AM
had98c     
How Christian of them.

10 Dec 2012 11:07 AM
godxam     
well, we've heard the last from these young little imps!

10 Dec 2012 11:08 AM
ChipNASA     
This is my piece this is my gun.

10 Dec 2012 11:08 AM
whither_apophis     
Bah, they probably were holding the guns gangsta style, no accuracy, and no hand strength for a good trigger pull.

10 Dec 2012 11:08 AM
StoPPeRmobile     
Ban Children!

10 Dec 2012 11:10 AM
Englebert Slaptyback     

News: By two precocious 7 and 11 year olds.


So were there two of each for a total of four, or are both kids aged 7 and 11 simultaneously?


Poor wording is poor.

10 Dec 2012 11:10 AM
No Time To Explain     

StoPPeRmobile: Ban Children!


I wish

/guns don't kill people, I kill people, with guns

10 Dec 2012 11:12 AM
occamswrist     

Englebert Slaptyback: News: By two precocious 7 and 11 year olds.


So were there two of each for a total of four, or are both kids aged 7 and 11 simultaneously?


Poor wording is poor.


I read it as two precocious 7 year olds. And an 11 year old . For a total of 3 kids.

10 Dec 2012 11:13 AM
Nurglitch     
Anyone else worried that the children were returned to their parents? I mean, they probably got the gun from the parents, and something about hanging around in a parking lot suggests that the kids don't have a good home-life.

10 Dec 2012 11:13 AM
ChipNASA     
A: She should have just rolled down the window and tussled the little hiar and said...."Oh YOU!!!"....You....you're SO CUTE!" and then left....

Or B: she should have kicked open the drivers side door with her foot, trying to take them down, fired up the truck and then powerslid a quick 180 and then taken them both out *with extreme prejudice* and then backed the fark up over them squashing their little heads like over ripe cherry tomatoes.

C: Shot them in the face and opened up their brain cavity like a fist into a big bowl of pudding.

/the answer is *always* C? amirite? Or B is good too.

10 Dec 2012 11:13 AM
aagrajag     
Let's see... Brazil? South Africa?

Oh, yeah... America. Have some more guns; everybody will be so much better.

Bonus troll: "These kids need them s'more Jeebus!"

10 Dec 2012 11:13 AM
OMG! We're All Gonna Die!     
Trayvon in retrospect?

10 Dec 2012 11:13 AM
AbiNormal     

Englebert Slaptyback: News: By two precocious 7 and 11 year olds.


So were there two of each for a total of four, or are both kids aged 7 and 11 simultaneously?


Poor wording is poor.


If you're to farking stupid to figure it out, that's your problem.

10 Dec 2012 11:14 AM
AgentBang     
3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 11:14 AM
OMG! We're All Gonna Die!     

StoPPeRmobile: Ban Children!


I will if you will.

10 Dec 2012 11:14 AM
RembrandtQEinstein     
best quote

Because of their age, the boys could not be taken into custody at a juvenile detention center, so they were returned to their families, police said.

The 11-year-old tried to escape his parents' house but was quickly caught by officers and returned to his parents.


I'm of the opinion that until a kid is emancipated his parents should also be charged with any crime he commits.

10 Dec 2012 11:15 AM
cig-mkr     
Never too young to learn a trade. Now they can hone their skills, learn from their mistakes, and be more successful in the future.

10 Dec 2012 11:15 AM
abhorrent1     
thumbs.vidivodo.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 11:17 AM
aagrajag     

RembrandtQEinstein: best quote

Because of their age, the boys could not be taken into custody at a juvenile detention center, so they were returned to their families, police said.

The 11-year-old tried to escape his parents' house but was quickly caught by officers and returned to his parents.

I'm of the opinion that until a kid is emancipated his parents should also be charged with any crime he commits.


If you keep a dangerous dog that gets off its leash and mauls someone, you're darn tootin' you're getting sued.

I fail to see how this is much different.

10 Dec 2012 11:17 AM
OMG! We're All Gonna Die!     

aagrajag: Let's see... Brazil? South Africa?

Oh, yeah... America. Have some more guns; everybody will be so much better.

Bonus troll: "These kids need them s'more Jeebus!"


I'll swear to any god or lack there of: I'll give up my guns the day everyone else does. Until then stay off my lawn.

10 Dec 2012 11:18 AM
JohnCarter     
Parent(s) of the year (2012) - late entries

10 Dec 2012 11:19 AM
occamswrist     

aagrajag: RembrandtQEinstein: best quote

Because of their age, the boys could not be taken into custody at a juvenile detention center, so they were returned to their families, police said.

The 11-year-old tried to escape his parents' house but was quickly caught by officers and returned to his parents.

I'm of the opinion that until a kid is emancipated his parents should also be charged with any crime he commits.

If you keep a dangerous dog that gets off its leash and mauls someone, you're darn tootin' you're getting sued.

I fail to see how this is much different.


You sound like you don't have any children.

10 Dec 2012 11:20 AM
aagrajag     

OMG! We're All Gonna Die!: aagrajag: Let's see... Brazil? South Africa?

Oh, yeah... America. Have some more guns; everybody will be so much better.

Bonus troll: "These kids need them s'more Jeebus!"

I'll swear to any god or lack there of: I'll give up my guns the day everyone else does. Until then stay off my lawn.


Trolling aside, I really pity you guys; your entire country is one gigantic Mexican standoff.

That's no way to live.

10 Dec 2012 11:20 AM
rumpelstiltskin    [TotalFark]  

occamswrist: Englebert Slaptyback: News: By two precocious 7 and 11 year olds.


So were there two of each for a total of four, or are both kids aged 7 and 11 simultaneously?


Poor wording is poor.

I read it as two precocious 7 year olds. And an 11 year old . For a total of 3 kids.


I think he means 2 seven year olds, and 11 one year olds.

10 Dec 2012 11:21 AM
aagrajag     

occamswrist: aagrajag: RembrandtQEinstein: best quote

Because of their age, the boys could not be taken into custody at a juvenile detention center, so they were returned to their families, police said.

The 11-year-old tried to escape his parents' house but was quickly caught by officers and returned to his parents.

I'm of the opinion that until a kid is emancipated his parents should also be charged with any crime he commits.

If you keep a dangerous dog that gets off its leash and mauls someone, you're darn tootin' you're getting sued.

I fail to see how this is much different.

You sound like you don't have any children.


Very good. This is one of the many, many reasons why.

10 Dec 2012 11:21 AM
boarch     

whither_apophis: Bah, they probably were holding the guns gangsta style, no accuracy, and no hand strength for a good trigger pull.


Because .22's are known for not being accurate and requiring lots of hand strength.

10 Dec 2012 11:24 AM
luthia     

aagrajag: OMG! We're All Gonna Die!: aagrajag: Let's see... Brazil? South Africa?

Oh, yeah... America. Have some more guns; everybody will be so much better.

Bonus troll: "These kids need them s'more Jeebus!"

I'll swear to any god or lack there of: I'll give up my guns the day everyone else does. Until then stay off my lawn.

Trolling aside, I really pity you guys; your entire country is one gigantic Mexican standoff.

That's no way to live.


Wait, how did he get his car in a basement?

You don't gotta be Stonewall Jackson to know you don't want to car jack someone in a farkin' basement.

10 Dec 2012 11:26 AM
aagrajag     

luthia: aagrajag: OMG! We're All Gonna Die!: aagrajag: Let's see... Brazil? South Africa?

Oh, yeah... America. Have some more guns; everybody will be so much better.

Bonus troll: "These kids need them s'more Jeebus!"

I'll swear to any god or lack there of: I'll give up my guns the day everyone else does. Until then stay off my lawn.

Trolling aside, I really pity you guys; your entire country is one gigantic Mexican standoff.

That's no way to live.

Wait, how did he get his car in a basement?

You don't gotta be Stonewall Jackson to know you don't want to car jack someone in a farkin' basement.


Am I failing to understand a film reference, or something? Because I don't understand your post at all.

10 Dec 2012 11:28 AM
Joe Blowme     
FTA: Because of their age, the boys could not be taken into custody at a juvenile detention center, so they were returned to their families, police said.

That where they learned to do this shiat, and so the cycle continues.

/keepin it realz

10 Dec 2012 11:31 AM
No Time To Explain     
Do they make bootstraps and ankle bracelets that small?

10 Dec 2012 11:33 AM
mrswood    [TotalFark]  
I wonder where they needed a ride to?

10 Dec 2012 11:33 AM
cherryl taggart     
Aw crap, a couple of my kids have clones. Well, at least now I know where the bio family moved to.

10 Dec 2012 11:37 AM
aagrajag     

cherryl taggart: Aw crap, a couple of my kids have clones. Well, at least now I know where the bio family moved to.


What did yours do?

10 Dec 2012 11:38 AM
2 Hookers and an 8 Ball     

whither_apophis: Bah, they probably were holding the guns gangsta style, no accuracy, and no hand strength for a good trigger pull.


Not to mention the propensity for jamming when the cartridge ejects upward (unless it was a revolver, they didn't say...)

10 Dec 2012 11:41 AM
HotWingConspiracy    [TotalFark]  
We need to make it easier to get guns.

10 Dec 2012 11:46 AM
Diogenes    [TotalFark]  

aagrajag: Trolling aside, I really pity you guys; your entire country is one gigantic Mexican standoff.


That's racisto.

10 Dec 2012 11:50 AM
TwowheelinTim     

Englebert Slaptyback: News: By two precocious 7 and 11 year olds.


So were there two of each for a total of four, or are both kids aged 7 and 11 simultaneously?


Poor wording is poor.


Came for this. Thanks much.

10 Dec 2012 11:50 AM
Phinn     

HotWingConspiracy: We need to make it easier to get guns.


We need to make it harder to breed children.

I suggest birth control in the water, and an IQ test to get the antidote.

And 100% state-subsidized abortion clinics on every corner.

For once, my tax dollars could be put to good use.

10 Dec 2012 11:52 AM
godxam     

aagrajag: luthia: aagrajag: OMG! We're All Gonna Die!: aagrajag: Let's see... Brazil? South Africa?

Oh, yeah... America. Have some more guns; everybody will be so much better.

Bonus troll: "These kids need them s'more Jeebus!"

I'll swear to any god or lack there of: I'll give up my guns the day everyone else does. Until then stay off my lawn.

Trolling aside, I really pity you guys; your entire country is one gigantic Mexican standoff.

That's no way to live.

Wait, how did he get his car in a basement?

You don't gotta be Stonewall Jackson to know you don't want to car jack someone in a farkin' basement.

Am I failing to understand a film reference, or something? Because I don't understand your post at all.


yes you are failing

10 Dec 2012 11:54 AM
The One True TheDavid     
Hey subby, there were two kids and one gun. And that's your "fark," the firearm? That's what you use for car-jacking; a water balloon won't work.

10 Dec 2012 11:56 AM
TwowheelinTim     

aagrajag: I really pity you guys; your entire country is one gigantic Mexican standoff.


No it isn't. Do you really believe the entire country is like this? Given the size and population of the U.S. of A, do you understand what the odds are of encountering something like this in a lifetime, much less on a continuous basis as you might be suggesting?

10 Dec 2012 11:57 AM
aagrajag     

godxam: aagrajag: luthia: aagrajag: OMG! We're All Gonna Die!: aagrajag: Let's see... Brazil? South Africa?

Oh, yeah... America. Have some more guns; everybody will be so much better.

Bonus troll: "These kids need them s'more Jeebus!"

I'll swear to any god or lack there of: I'll give up my guns the day everyone else does. Until then stay off my lawn.

Trolling aside, I really pity you guys; your entire country is one gigantic Mexican standoff.

That's no way to live.

Wait, how did he get his car in a basement?

You don't gotta be Stonewall Jackson to know you don't want to car jack someone in a farkin' basement.

Am I failing to understand a film reference, or something? Because I don't understand your post at all.

yes you are failing


So help me out, man.

10 Dec 2012 11:57 AM
aagrajag     

TwowheelinTim: aagrajag: I really pity you guys; your entire country is one gigantic Mexican standoff.

No it isn't. Do you really believe the entire country is like this? Given the size and population of the U.S. of A, do you understand what the odds are of encountering something like this in a lifetime, much less on a continuous basis as you might be suggesting?


My comment was in response to his about: "I'll give up my guns the day everyone else does."

I likened fact that he cannot reasonably disarm until everyone else does to a three-way standoff. Of course, everyone else feels exactly the same way, so nothing can change. Fear begets fear, rational or otherwise. It's downright sad.

I don't need a weapon because no one else has one. I very much like it that way.

10 Dec 2012 12:02 PM
StoPPeRmobile     

Nurglitch: Anyone else worried that the children were returned to their parents? I mean, they probably got the gun from the parents, and something about hanging around in a parking lot suggests that the kids don't have a good home-life.


Thanks. We needed a basement dwelling, former parking lot user to educate us on the dangers of using parking lots as children. Many will be saved.

/dafuq

10 Dec 2012 12:06 PM
grinding_journalist     

occamswrist: You sound like you don't have any children.


Even if he doesn't, why does that make his opinion less valid?

Holding parents responsible for their kids' actions seems like it would go a long way towards teaching some parental responsibility. Don't wanna to go to jail for rape/assault/robbery that your 14 year old committed? What kind of parent are you that your kid thought this was acceptable?

If it is truly a "his friends made him do it/it was only one time/he's a good kid" the courts would bear this out.

Priotip: Don't raise your kids to be gangsters. The only thing I ever got arrested for while I was underage wasn't something you'd spend time in prison for anyway, and I guarantee I got it worse from my parents (for about 18 months afterwards) than the fine/SIS/DL probation that the courts gave me.

Not being for this idea screams "I don't want to be responsible for my kids' actions." Well, fark that. As a parent, you farking are.

10 Dec 2012 12:10 PM
Doom MD     

aagrajag: TwowheelinTim: aagrajag: I really pity you guys; your entire country is one gigantic Mexican standoff.

No it isn't. Do you really believe the entire country is like this? Given the size and population of the U.S. of A, do you understand what the odds are of encountering something like this in a lifetime, much less on a continuous basis as you might be suggesting?

My comment was in response to his about: "I'll give up my guns the day everyone else does."

I likened fact that he cannot reasonably disarm until everyone else does to a three-way standoff. Of course, everyone else feels exactly the same way, so nothing can change. Fear begets fear, rational or otherwise. It's downright sad.

I don't need a weapon because no one else has one. I very much like it that way.


Being able to defend oneself isn't a desire stemming from fear but rather a natural right. This is to say nothing of the other purposes of firearms (shooting targets, sport, hunting).

10 Dec 2012 12:20 PM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  

No Time To Explain: StoPPeRmobile: Ban Children!

I wish

/guns don't kill people, I kill people, with guns


25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 12:26 PM
aagrajag     

Doom MD: aagrajag: TwowheelinTim: aagrajag: I really pity you guys; your entire country is one gigantic Mexican standoff.

No it isn't. Do you really believe the entire country is like this? Given the size and population of the U.S. of A, do you understand what the odds are of encountering something like this in a lifetime, much less on a continuous basis as you might be suggesting?

My comment was in response to his about: "I'll give up my guns the day everyone else does."

I likened fact that he cannot reasonably disarm until everyone else does to a three-way standoff. Of course, everyone else feels exactly the same way, so nothing can change. Fear begets fear, rational or otherwise. It's downright sad.

I don't need a weapon because no one else has one. I very much like it that way.

Being able to defend oneself isn't a desire stemming from fear but rather a natural right. This is to say nothing of the other purposes of firearms (shooting targets, sport, hunting).


The primary function of a gun in as a weapon. Hunting, target shooting also? Sure. But, people don't use .22s for that, though, do they? Their sole function is to wound and destroy human life.

I enjoy living in a society in which I need not worry about defending myself. I like not having a good reason to keep lethal weapons around my home.

I sincerely wish that you and your fellow countrymen didn't have to.

It's 2:30 am where I am. Have a good night.

10 Dec 2012 12:30 PM
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