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   Cash-strapped Swaziland urged to hike witch-doctor tax, conservatives still in favor of just burning them at the stake

10 Dec 2012 02:51 PM   |   2020 clicks   |   Standard Digital (Kenya)
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toraque    [TotalFark]  
Unfortunately the Witch Doctors probably won't be able to organize any real support against raising this tax, since their most compelling anti-taxation argument is 'Oo, eee, oooh ahh ahh, ting, tang, walla walla bing bang'

10 Dec 2012 12:07 PM
L.D. Ablo    [TotalFark]  
ionenewsone.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 01:09 PM
Diogenes    [TotalFark]  

L.D. Ablo: [ionenewsone.files.wordpress.com image 300x444]


And speaking of (non-PSed) Kenyan witchdoctors...

my2bucks.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 01:36 PM
I_Am_Weasel    [TotalFark]  
Representatives of Ting, Tang, Walla, Walla, Bing and Bang refused to comment.

10 Dec 2012 02:15 PM
MemeSlave     
But the little clocks they make are so adorable! And the cheese.... plus don't they have a lot of hydro power, and Nazi gold? How can they be strapped for cash?

10 Dec 2012 02:52 PM
Onkel Buck     
Well if they can hike that means they have boots, and boots have straps, straps you can pull yourself up by.

10 Dec 2012 02:54 PM
StoPPeRmobile     

MemeSlave: But the little clocks they make are so adorable! And the cheese.... plus don't they have a lot of hydro power, and Nazi gold? How can they be strapped for cash?


*shakes tiny fist of rage*

10 Dec 2012 02:55 PM
StoPPeRmobile     

Diogenes: L.D. Ablo: [ionenewsone.files.wordpress.com image 300x444]

And speaking of (non-PSed) Kenyan witchdoctors...


Lulz

10 Dec 2012 02:56 PM
HailRobonia     
I'm confused... which Doctor?

www.bbc.co.ukView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 02:58 PM
ChipNASA     
Just sell more Cheese and Watches. Christ.

10 Dec 2012 02:59 PM
stickandmove     
I'm feeling kind of neutral about this plan.

10 Dec 2012 03:02 PM
tnpir    [TotalFark]  
Reportedly the witch doctors responded with "OOH! EEE! OOH AH AH! BING! BANG! WALLA WALLA BING BANG!!!!"

10 Dec 2012 03:06 PM
tnpir    [TotalFark]  
Aw, crap, I'm a good 15 posts too late. Oh well.

10 Dec 2012 03:06 PM
zulius     
Arise chicken, ARISE!
/got nothing...

10 Dec 2012 03:08 PM
moothemagiccow     
Laugh all you want, but we've got witch doctors here in the states. They call themselves homeopaths, herbalists, and naturopaths.

10 Dec 2012 03:09 PM
carrion_luggage     
Just the top Tutu percent.

10 Dec 2012 03:12 PM
cwolf20     
Damn good thing I always click the article first.

I was trying to figure out when Patrick Swayze got his own country

10 Dec 2012 03:12 PM
ChipNASA     

cwolf20: Damn good thing I always click the article first.

I was trying to figure out when Patrick Swayze got his own country


i.chzbgr.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 03:15 PM
cwolf20     
So are the Three Stooges. Doesn't change that I read Swayze into Subby's headline

10 Dec 2012 03:17 PM
Felix_T_Cat     

Onkel Buck: Well if they can hike that means they have boots, and boots have straps, straps you can pull yourself up by.


Was there passing out shoes to kids last year. No boots. There are a bunch of emergency feeding stations for the kids. You can feed the kids a meal of beans & rice for 11 cents a day. "American kids can't compete... you know how much a McGriddle costs!" Saw a 7 year old walking a toddler and carrying a baby to one feeding station. Not much chance for agriculture, the rivers are diverted for agriculture in South Africa. They don't have much. There's dirt, some aloe plants and a tree that will make you go blind (Euphorbia).

Link

10 Dec 2012 03:19 PM
Deep Contact     
King of Swaziland worth over $200 million and has a dozen +-2 wives

upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 03:26 PM
ChipNASA     

Deep Contact: King of Swaziland worth over $200 million and has a dozen +-2 wives

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x330]


And nice tits.

10 Dec 2012 03:29 PM
PorradaVFR     
How can they be broke with all the skiing and banking that goes on there?

10 Dec 2012 03:30 PM
clane     
because if they raise taxes just ooooonnnnnneeeeee more time, then the government will have enough money and all will be well...

10 Dec 2012 03:32 PM
Harry Freakstorm     
Conservative Swaziland Radio Commentator Rush Mbumbu said earlier:

"Why is the government always going after the zombie creators? Don't you know that hire taxes will drive these important engines of our economy away? Without them, where will the cheap labor come from and who will pick the crops at the dark of the night?

The witch doctor group is not one to be trifled with. They are a powerful force in this country. I try to stay as bipartisan as possible, but a witch doctor once disagreed with me and cursed me. He caused me to bloat about the waist and lust after little boys."

10 Dec 2012 03:49 PM
ChipNASA     

Rufus Lee King: Deep Contact: King of Swaziland worth over $200 million

That's a whole mess of emalangeni!

[www.bestourism.com image 559x257]


24.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 03:50 PM
Harry Freakstorm     
ChipNASA

Deep Contact: King of Swaziland worth over $200 million and has a dozen +-2 wives

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x330]

And nice tits.


And he's a belt and suspenders kind of guy. But they don't seem to help.

10 Dec 2012 03:53 PM
Latinwolf     
For once I agree with the Conservatives on this.

10 Dec 2012 03:58 PM
ChipNASA     

Harry Freakstorm: ChipNASA

Deep Contact: King of Swaziland worth over $200 million and has a dozen +-2 wives

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x330]

And nice tits.

And he's a belt and suspenders kind of guy. But they don't seem to help.


*CLAP CLAP* "WIPERS!!!"
assets0.ordienetworks.comView Full Size



/Thanks for the TF HF!!!!

10 Dec 2012 03:59 PM
Latinwolf     
Deep Contact: King of Swaziland worth over $200 million and has a dozen +-2 wives

Guy looks like he'd need a bigger bra than what his wives would probably wear, if they wear bras that is.

10 Dec 2012 04:00 PM
StoPPeRmobile     

cwolf20: Damn good thing I always click the article first.

I was trying to figure out when Patrick Swayze got his own country


I thought it would be bigger.

10 Dec 2012 04:04 PM
StoPPeRmobile     

Deep Contact: King of Swaziland worth over $200 million and has a dozen +-2 wives

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x330]


www.celluloidheroreviews.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 04:06 PM
BitwiseShift     
What Swatch Doctors of Switzerland may look like.

i262.photobucket.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 04:10 PM
HailRobonia     
The gov't of Swaziland is just doing this to distract from its crippling cuckoo clock production deficit and its hot cocoa scandal.

10 Dec 2012 04:10 PM
Contents Under Pressure     
People there have the lowest life expectancy of any country in the world. They shouldn't tax witch doctors, they should make them go through mandatory AIDS education and prevention classes.

10 Dec 2012 04:11 PM
StoPPeRmobile     

Harry Freakstorm: Conservative Swaziland Radio Commentator Rush Mbumbu said earlier:

"Why is the government always going after the zombie creators? Don't you know that hire taxes will drive these important engines of our economy away? Without them, where will the cheap labor come from and who will pick the crops at the dark of the night?

The witch doctor group is not one to be trifled with. They are a powerful force in this country. I try to stay as bipartisan as possible, but a witch doctor once disagreed with me and cursed me. He caused me to bloat about the waist and lust after little boys."


Wow. Just farking wow.

10 Dec 2012 04:12 PM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  
I wouldn't tax this guy. He'll shrink your friggin' head!

1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 04:29 PM
Latinwolf     
StoPPeRmobile: Harry Freakstorm: Conservative Swaziland Radio Commentator Rush Mbumbu said earlier:

"Why is the government always going after the zombie creators? Don't you know that hire taxes will drive these important engines of our economy away? Without them, where will the cheap labor come from and who will pick the crops at the dark of the night?

The witch doctor group is not one to be trifled with. They are a powerful force in this country. I try to stay as bipartisan as possible, but a witch doctor once disagreed with me and cursed me. He caused me to bloat about the waist and lust after little boys."

Wow. Just farking wow.


And that sound is the wind going over your head.

10 Dec 2012 04:32 PM
umad     

Contents Under Pressure: People there have the lowest life expectancy of any country in the world. They shouldn't tax witch doctors, they should make them go through mandatory AIDS education and prevention classes.


All that would do is give them more time to shiat out kids that they can't afford to take care of. What they need is sex-ed and finance classes. Until then I say they stick with the "making sex with a virgin will clear it right up" method.

10 Dec 2012 04:33 PM
fyrewede    [TotalFark]  
Oh they're fine with witch doctors in Swaziland.

Just whatever you do, don't be teh ghey there... 

/unless you're female, in which case it's actually legal
//WTF? I'm guessing because there's nothing in the Bible that says it's a sin...? Plus dudes want to watch?

10 Dec 2012 04:34 PM
Felix_T_Cat     

Contents Under Pressure: People there have the lowest life expectancy of any country in the world. They shouldn't tax witch doctors, they should make them go through mandatory AIDS education and prevention classes.


Met a woman who had a bone infection in her arm. The traditional healers had made shallow cuts all over her arm for years trying to cure it. She finally agreed to be treated by The Luke Commission mobile medical clinic.

If the AIDS rates continue as is, the estimates are that all the adults will be dead by 2030 to 2050.

The Luke Commission are my heroes. 2 people trying to save a country. They've conducted about 50 clinics a year all over the country for the past 6 years or so. Treating about 600 people per site.

Link

10 Dec 2012 04:45 PM
j0e_average     
That's surprising coming from a country that is notorius for staying neutral, not to mention all of the banking concerns. 

/good chocolate too!

10 Dec 2012 04:48 PM
lewismarktwo     
Swaziland witch doctors always have the best weed.

10 Dec 2012 05:06 PM
illannoyin     

Latinwolf: Deep Contact: King of Swaziland worth over $200 million and has a dozen +-2 wives

Guy looks like he'd need a bigger bra than what his wives would probably wear, if they wear bras that is.


You can learn more about him (and see his 20-something daughter's boobs) in the documentary 'without the king'

Link

10 Dec 2012 05:27 PM
db2     
"Swaziland" always makes me think of some kind of Nazi special ops.

10 Dec 2012 05:31 PM
Mega Steve     
The witch-doctor tax is bad enough as it is, and the cost is always passed on to the patient, which is already crippling with the price of pharmaceuticals going up and up. Do you think albino penis is cheap? It's not, my friend.

10 Dec 2012 07:07 PM
Deep Contact     
Witch doctor is going to be taxed again?

10 Dec 2012 07:24 PM
LordOfThePings     

HailRobonia: I'm confused... which Doctor?


www.thememorist.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 09:40 PM
boinkingbill     
So what does the government spend money on? Subsidized grass skirts and spears? I would guess that the tax would be raised by one newt's gizard, two bat wings and the brain of a traveling shoe salesman.

10 Dec 2012 10:38 PM
HailRobonia     
Swaziland totally sounds like a Dark Sun sorcerer-king state.

11 Dec 2012 11:34 AM
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