Have you turned the oven off, and made sure the front door's locked?

A man found a raisin in the woods.
"what a funny looking raisin."
"im not a raisin im just an ant with no legs."

I think there is some profound meaning in that somewhere.

Want some candy?

Q. Why did the farmer sleep on his bed
A. because all the animals took his pants off

Sounds like the kind of thing a farmer would tell his wife when caught in bed without any pants on, and a duck.

"We're not coming back to this Justice League reunion again. I'm tried of you checking Superman's ass."

A: Did you tighten the lugnuts like I asked you to?

To which Robin replied, "I don't know but my ass really hurts."

Did you remember to untie Alfred?

Get your ass. In this car. Right now!

"Did you reload the Batapult?"

Q: Who told the gorilla he couldn't attend the ballet?

A: The person in charge of making that decision.

Q. What person just talks and talks and talks
A. A TEACHER!!!!


Now this one was funny.

I actually loved the Batman joke. 
 
I found it incredibly meta, deconstructing the very notion of joke telling itself. 

brap: I actually loved the Batman joke. 
 
I found it incredibly meta, deconstructing the very notion of joke telling itself.

The zombie one was pretty funny too just by making perfect sense and thus defying expectation

The kids who had their submissions rejected are more likely to become comedians.

"Zip Up and Swallow. "

/why no votie!!!??!?!?

"It's not holy, just get in the bloody car already"?

:RTFA:

Ohh, so close.

Time for "The Flintstones" joke?

Cockrobin

Carlos Mencia is working these into his act right now.

I laughed at this one.

Q. What do you put in the toaster?
A. anser: bread.

Do your Taco Bell farts BEFORE you get in, not after. ¿Comprende?

Submitted by Sarah P.
Q. Why did the potato cross the road?
A. to get to the postbox

Robin - "Holy kleenex, Batman! It was right under our noses and we blew it!"

Q. What did the toliet say to the robot?
A. I dont know I wasnt there was I !!!

HA! Take that.

John has 32 cookies he eats 28 of them what does he have


diabetes

what did the banana say to the uther banana?

Have you got a potty because I need a pee desporatly please!

No because we are at the beach. We will need to go home by a banana taxi we dont have a car.

meowsaidthedog-like typing detected.

Q. What person just talks and talks and talks
A. A TEACHER !!!!

That's really, really funny from a child's perspective.

cgraves67: Q. What person just talks and talks and talks
A. A TEACHER WIFE !!!!

That's really, really funny from a child's husband's perspective.

poop, poop, poop, poot, fart, poop, fart, fart, dookie...

"I'm the goddamn Batman!"

Only works when Robin is (age 12).

Let go of my balls.

Two muffins are baking in an oven. First on says "boy, it sure is hot in here."

Second one replies "Oh my God, a talking muffin!!"

British children are just like our children, only uglier.

what goes black white black white
a nun rolling down a hill


what is black and white and goes 'ha ha'
the nun who pushed her

tricycleracer: what did the banana say to the uther banana?

Have you got a potty because I need a pee desporatly please!

No because we are at the beach. We will need to go home by a banana taxi we dont have a car.

meowsaidthedog-like typing detected.

I would've guessed Indubitably

What's green and has wheels?

Grass. I was just kidding about the wheels.

wanna make $20 the hard way?

Batman - "If I want any lip from you, I'll scrape it off my zipper."

"You got some....on your chin....yeah, wipe that off..."

Do you like fish dicks?

brap: I actually loved the Batman joke.

I found it incredibly meta, deconstructing the very notion of joke telling itself.

Meta indeed. And cute as hell.

Why you ask Two Dogs Farking?

"Now remember, if anyone asks, we have SEPARATE bedrooms"

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

I've told this one before but what the hell.

Q: What kind of a bee makes milk?
A: A boobie!

Kids come up with some of the best racist jokes too, although they don't usually realize it. here's one from the tumblr page

What did the Mexican fireman call his two sons?

Hose A and Hose B