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   Man has been suffering from amnesia since being discovered naked, unresponsive and covered with fire ant bites behind a Burger King dumpster in August 2004. Remember that the next time you think you're having a bad day

10 Dec 2012 10:31 AM   |   6874 clicks   |   ABC
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basemetal    [TotalFark]  
Well, I was all about to go all "Damned bath salts" on this guy, but this happened before bath salts, so..........

10 Dec 2012 09:56 AM
gopher321    [TotalFark]  
Dad?

10 Dec 2012 10:18 AM
texdent    [TotalFark]  
Just hit him over the head. That should clear things up.

10 Dec 2012 10:33 AM
kbronsito    [TotalFark]  
Has he shown any ninja skills?

10 Dec 2012 10:33 AM
Tyee     
yeah, I never want to do that again.

10 Dec 2012 10:34 AM
Random Anonymous Blackmail     
So does he carry a notepad to remind him of everything (name, ect..) just in case.

10 Dec 2012 10:34 AM
The Bunyip     
I once got amnesia in a Burger King bathroom...

/I'm a freak
// l like the girls with the boom

10 Dec 2012 10:34 AM
AdolfOliverPanties     
My friend just interviewed this guy and the documentary filmmaker making the movie about him. Pretty interesting. WorstShowOnTheWeb.com

10 Dec 2012 10:35 AM
IAmRight     
Pretty sure I wouldn't want to remember what led me to that situation.

10 Dec 2012 10:36 AM
Carn     
Forgive me if this is out of line, but should they perhaps go check with any local meth or crack houses?

I mean, what is the likelihood that a normal productive member of society (who would have at least one of a. friends, b. family, c. employer) who would have had somebody put out a notice on him going missing.

10 Dec 2012 10:36 AM
cgraves67     
he ordered the Whopper?

10 Dec 2012 10:37 AM
H31N0US     
That's Clay Morrow.

10 Dec 2012 10:38 AM
Carn     
^he was a

grammar fail

10 Dec 2012 10:39 AM
JohnCarter     
Wasn't this a Gilligan's Island plot?

10 Dec 2012 10:39 AM
TanHamster     
John Wheeler, back from the dead?

10 Dec 2012 10:40 AM
reillan     
You had me until "fire ants"

10 Dec 2012 10:41 AM
no icon tact     
Some roofer started using my EIN for about 2 years, he should certainly stick to building/contracting/sub, most of those guys aren't using real TINs. Heck, it would be a selling point in hiring him!

10 Dec 2012 10:41 AM
Grapple     

AdolfOliverPanties: My friend just interviewed this guy and the documentary filmmaker making the movie about him. Pretty interesting. WorstShowOnTheWeb.com


Hmm... I also have a friend associated with that show... do I know you? :)

10 Dec 2012 10:41 AM
Jon iz teh kewl     
Following the documentary's release, Kyle was able to get a special Florida state identification card, but still doesn't have a birth certificate or Social Security number.

At least he can buy beer

10 Dec 2012 10:42 AM
ChromoSomes     
I can remember if I've ever had amnesia.

10 Dec 2012 10:43 AM
The Angry Hand of God     
images2.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 10:44 AM
TappingTheVein     
He's obviously a time traveler from the future, specifically a time period where porn 'staches are back in style.

10 Dec 2012 10:44 AM
NeoBad     
Sounds like the FBI ought to train him...no finger prints or known database records...sounds like he would be a great addition to any undercover operation etc, I mean other than he is probably addicted to bath salts and sleeps in the burger king dumpster...

10 Dec 2012 10:45 AM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  
Now, with the help of a website, a documentary, Reddit and Twitter, people are rallying behind Kyle to solve the mystery of his identity or, at the very least, to attempt to help him get a new Social Security number.

And now Fark. The man is doomed.

10 Dec 2012 10:46 AM
stuffy     
Naked and covered in Fire Ants. Sounds like there might be more than family out looking for him.
May not like finding out who he is.

10 Dec 2012 10:47 AM
gingerjet     
FTFA They aren't eligible for health insurance, can't pay rent or get a driver's license.

Why? All he needs is a job to pay rent. And all he needs to do is to prove he can drive to get a license.

He has been told that because of the presumption that he was given a Social Security number at some point, he cannot get another one.

Bullshiat. People get a new SSN all the time due to identity theft.

/I'm sympathetic to the guy but the article is poorly researched

10 Dec 2012 10:47 AM
DrowningLessons     
That's Ryan Gosling from the future.

Next.

10 Dec 2012 10:48 AM
ChromoSomes     
It's too early in the morning. Let me try that again.

I can't remember if I've ever had amnesia

10 Dec 2012 10:48 AM
ausfahrk     
"I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I chase it with bath salts."

10 Dec 2012 10:49 AM
abhorrent1     
Why can't he get a SSN or ID? The FBI can't set this guy up with a new identity? They do it all the time.

10 Dec 2012 10:50 AM
IAmRight     

stuffy: Naked and covered in Fire Ants. Sounds like there might be more than family out looking for him.
May not like finding out who he is.


Nah, if you're by a fast-food dumpster, "covered in fire ants" is kinda redundant.

10 Dec 2012 10:50 AM
Randal2477     
Just food for thought:

If he has no idea who he is or how he got there, how does he know he's 64 years old? In the article, he mentions being that age and "due to my social and economic background, I figure I have 10 years left"

Oddly specific....

10 Dec 2012 10:52 AM
biyaaatci     

The Bunyip: I once got amnesia in a Burger King bathroom...

/I'm a freak
// l like the girls with the boom


I once got busy in a Burger King dumpster.

/Samoans!

10 Dec 2012 10:53 AM
ChipNASA     
John Titor?
/heeh heeh....you said TIT..

10 Dec 2012 10:54 AM
ltdanman44     
"He found himself personally frustrated with how few resources there are for the living unidentified"


There is enough fraud and corruption already with the living identified, that's why

10 Dec 2012 10:54 AM
KrispyKritter     
He's a real nowhere man,
Sitting in his Nowhere Land,
Making all his nowhere plans
for nobody.

Doesn't have a point of view,
Knows not where he's going to,
Isn't he a bit like you and me?

10 Dec 2012 10:54 AM
Skarekrough     
The lesson to be learned here is that you need to have your fingerprints in a federal database at least once in your life.

10 Dec 2012 10:56 AM
hp6sa     

Randal2477: Just food for thought:

If he has no idea who he is or how he got there, how does he know he's 64 years old? In the article, he mentions being that age and "due to my social and economic background, I figure I have 10 years left"

Oddly specific....


He said he has some memories - like being exactly 10 years older than Michael Jackson. But yes, it's oddly specific.

He did an AMA on Reddit, mostly to ask for help in getting a new SSN - but it was odd. Lots of people offered to help finding out his actual identity, but he didn't seem all that interested. Either he's already heard everything that's helpful, or he's not that interested in finding out.

10 Dec 2012 10:56 AM
tetsoushima     
www.filmoria.co.ukView Full Size


a.abcnews.comView Full Size


Time travel is a biatch.

10 Dec 2012 10:57 AM
Primitive Screwhead    [TotalFark]  
He should have switched to Direct TV.

10 Dec 2012 10:58 AM
cgraves67     

Randal2477: Just food for thought:

If he has no idea who he is or how he got there, how does he know he's 64 years old? In the article, he mentions being that age and "due to my social and economic background, I figure I have 10 years left"

Oddly specific....


The doctors probably told him an estimate.

10 Dec 2012 10:58 AM
Jon iz teh kewl     

Skarekrough: The lesson to be learned here is that you need to have your fingerprints in a federal database at least once in your life.


that would be funny if somehow hello.jpg appeared in place of your fingerprint file

10 Dec 2012 10:59 AM
IAmRight     

Primitive Screwhead: He should have switched to Direct TV.


This wins the thread.

10 Dec 2012 11:00 AM
fruitloop     
Benjaman Kyle? I thought his name was Herb.

10 Dec 2012 11:01 AM
doczoidberg     
Did they charge him as a sex offender for being nude in public?

10 Dec 2012 11:05 AM
xcv     
No mention of how the websleuths board considers this to be a hoax? Part of their claim is that the initial police report, medical exam and interview with responding officer all claim there was no sign of physical injury on Kyle while he keeps playing up the 'near death,' serious injury aspect in the documentaries.

10 Dec 2012 11:05 AM
enderthexenocide     
this is why you should always have some close friends or family members who would try to figure out what happened to you if you ever disappeared mysteriously. it's possible this guy lived alone, had no family, shifted from job to job, no real close friends. so if he gets amnesia and disappears, no one would think to go looking for him. his only real hope is that someone recognizes him.

10 Dec 2012 11:06 AM
tshauk     
For some reason this guy just screams ex- military to me. I retired from the Armed Forces and can think of only 2 "organizations" that require a complete wipe of former identity, neither of which he would ever find through public channels.

That and he has a very slight pacific northwest accent, definitely not a Georgian where he was found.

Very odd story, with this much exposure no one has stepped forward to recognize him.

10 Dec 2012 11:06 AM
Snort     

10 Dec 2012 11:07 AM
Primitive Screwhead    [TotalFark]  

IAmRight: Primitive Screwhead: He should have switched to Direct TV.

This wins the thread.


i36.photobucket.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 11:08 AM
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