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   Iranian Military Commander: "A man who runs 100 meters in 20 seconds can finish it in 7 seconds if a wolf is chasing him" No word on their wrench-dodging abilities

10 Dec 2012 02:25 PM   |   5274 clicks   |   Yahoo
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The Stealth Hippopotamus    [TotalFark]  
Read that as wench. I was wondering why someone would be worried about wench dodging ability.


yes i've seen dodge ball

10 Dec 2012 11:48 AM
2wolves     
Wolves are not sprinters

10 Dec 2012 12:36 PM
Saborlas    [TotalFark]  
If you're being chased by a wolf, you probably did something to really piss it off. Most wolves are shy of humans, and for good reason.

10 Dec 2012 01:58 PM
Arkanaut    [TotalFark]  
He was delicious.

10 Dec 2012 02:26 PM
you have pee hands     

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Read that as wench. I was wondering why someone would be worried about wench dodging ability.


yes i've seen dodge ball


But apparently you've forgotten Catch-22. Those wenches never stop.

10 Dec 2012 02:27 PM
ChipNASA     
www.animalshirts.netView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 02:28 PM
Fano     
Especially if there is steam in the subway and the earth is afire.

10 Dec 2012 02:28 PM
cgraves67    [TotalFark]  

Saborlas: If you're being chased by a wolf, you probably did something to really piss it off. Most wolves are shy of humans, and for good reason.


Which is why the Commander has them tie t-bones around their necks and poke half-starved wolves in cages with sticks for a few hours.

10 Dec 2012 02:28 PM
Resident Muslim    [TotalFark]  
I was expecting "here comes the science"

10 Dec 2012 02:28 PM
SevenT     
Is he trying to to find the optimum speed that his troops will retreat when attacked?

10 Dec 2012 02:29 PM
Gyrfalcon    [TotalFark]  
Too bad you're never being chased by only one wolf.

10 Dec 2012 02:29 PM
Cooper420     
So you can break a world record at the 100m if a wolf is chasing you down? OK! let's do this!

10 Dec 2012 02:30 PM
dabbletech     
Sounds boot strappy.

10 Dec 2012 02:30 PM
VTGremlin     
If it takes you 20 seconds to go 100 meters, can it reeeeally be called running?

10 Dec 2012 02:31 PM
The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves     
This sounds quite a bit like the Juche Ideal.

10 Dec 2012 02:36 PM
Wise_Guy     
i.imgur.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 02:38 PM
Fish in a Barrel     

VTGremlin: If it takes you 20 seconds to go 100 meters, can it reeeeally be called running?


That's 5 m/s, which is over 11mph. That's definitely running.

10 Dec 2012 02:39 PM
Odd Bird     
That wolf will do the 100 in 6 seconds if there's a meal involved.

10 Dec 2012 02:46 PM
LargeCanine     
A man should have a rifle to deal with wolf issues.

Just sayin'.... Mr Iranian military guy.

10 Dec 2012 02:52 PM
dittybopper    [TotalFark]  

Odd Bird: That wolf will do the 100 in 6 seconds if there's a meal involved.


This:

img236.imageshack.usView Full Size


will cover that 100 yards in about 190 milliseconds. I win.

10 Dec 2012 02:53 PM
dittybopper    [TotalFark]  

LargeCanine: A man should have a rifle to deal with wolf issues.

Just sayin'.... Mr Iranian military guy.


i56.tinypic.comView Full Size


Good answer. Good answer. I like the way you think. I'm gonna to be watching you.

10 Dec 2012 02:54 PM
you have pee hands     

dittybopper: Odd Bird: That wolf will do the 100 in 6 seconds if there's a meal involved.

This:

[img236.imageshack.us image 582x181]

will cover that 100 yards in about 190 milliseconds. I win.


You better not miss. Also, there are 6 wolves.

10 Dec 2012 02:54 PM
give me doughnuts     

Fano: Especially if there is steam in the subway and the earth is afire.


...and your hovercraft is full of eels.

10 Dec 2012 02:57 PM
randomjsa     
In theory humans could run upwards of 35mph +, which is more than enough to leave the fastest recording human beings in the dust.

I've also seen other data that suggests the absolute best a human could do on the 100m is 9.38, which is only .2 seconds faster than Bolt's record, and nowhere near 35mph

10 Dec 2012 03:02 PM
slyandtheblooddiamond     
imgs.xkcd.comView Full Size


Then just add raptors.

10 Dec 2012 03:07 PM
haterade     
How much (time) difference does a running start make? Like if bolt runs 110m and only the last 100 is counted.

10 Dec 2012 03:13 PM
Bermuda59     
How fast can he run when chased by a Tomahawk cruise missle?

10 Dec 2012 03:16 PM
D135     

Wise_Guy: [WinstonWolf]


+1

10 Dec 2012 03:17 PM
corronchilejano     

randomjsa: In theory humans could run upwards of 35mph +, which is more than enough to leave the fastest recording human beings in the dust.

I've also seen other data that suggests the absolute best a human could do on the 100m is 9.38, which is only .2 seconds faster than Bolt's record, and nowhere near 35mph


Apparently it would be around 9.2 seconds:
Link

Meaning that wolf is going to have quite a feast.

10 Dec 2012 03:27 PM
Pockafrusta     

Wise_Guy: [Callin the Wolf?]


We are effing done here.

3putt.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 03:30 PM
Deep Contact     
he said. "I would instead tell our enemies to impose sanctions as much as they can, because we will discover our hidden capabilities."


Like a slow death.

10 Dec 2012 03:30 PM
TXEric     

Saborlas: If you're being chased by a wolf, you probably did something to really piss it off. Most wolves are shy of humans, and for good reason.


i163.photobucket.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 03:31 PM
go5go     

dittybopper: LargeCanine: A man should have a rifle to deal with wolf issues.

Just sayin'.... Mr Iranian military guy.

[i56.tinypic.com image 470x359]

Good answer. Good answer. I like the way you think. I'm gonna to be watching you.


Hehe, He's a good teacher. He really cares. About what? I have No idea.

10 Dec 2012 03:32 PM
Fano     

give me doughnuts: Fano: Especially if there is steam in the subway and the earth is afire.

...and your hovercraft is full of eels.


doot doo doo do doo doo do da doo doo doo doo doo doO

10 Dec 2012 03:33 PM
probesport     

Pockafrusta: Wise_Guy: [Callin the Wolf?]

We are effing done here.

[3putt.files.wordpress.com image 480x480]


Thats all you had to say!

/will be arriving directly.

10 Dec 2012 03:38 PM
Bill the unknowing     
I think the proper response to Iran is "You're welcome. Anytime!"

10 Dec 2012 03:40 PM
Harvey Manfrenjensenjen     
"What we could not achieve in about two decades was achieved in one and a half years," Naqdi said, citing gasoline production as an example. Iran had tried to be self-sufficient in gasoline production since 1991, but only said it achieved that level in 2010, two years after the first gasoline bans were imposed. Iran is doing so well under the sanctions, Naqdi insisted, it should not seek to have them lifted. "If I were in the place of authorities, I would not demand the lifting of the sanctions," he said. "I would instead tell our enemies to impose sanctions as much as they can, because we will discover our hidden capabilities."

Coming from an Iranian official this is likely 99% bluster, but I wonder if these rubes actually believe this is a good thing? Of course you can be self-sufficient in many things, but is it the best use of your time and resources? Trying to become self-sufficient in things you're not very good at is extremely expensive in terms of real and opportunity costs because it distracts you from those things which you can do well. Saudi Arabia tried to become self-sufficient in wheat production but had to subsidize it so heavily, and it took so much water, that even with their oil riches they had to give it up. They could have just stockpiled a huge grain reserve for far less than the cost of trying to grow it themselves.

/Sorry for threadjacking to discuss TFA, you may now resume your "who can run faster" discussion.

10 Dec 2012 03:42 PM
ethics-gradient     
Oh so it wasn't an article about Iranian Olympic athlete's training and motivation at all.
It was actually all about how Brer Iranian totally doesn't want you to throw him in the briar patch. Or something.

10 Dec 2012 03:44 PM
NotARocketScientist     
From corronchilejano's link:

You see, there ought to be some intrinsic limit of how fast humans can possibly run. There ought to be some physical, anatomical limit to how quickly we can - starting from rest - cover 100 meters.

There is. If you move it faster than 5X your leg's natural frequency, you are using enough force to break your bone. This is why some race horses break a leg coming out of the gate - they are accelerating too fast.

/learned this in physics lab but can't find the reference.
//might be 3X - it was a long time ago.

10 Dec 2012 03:47 PM
Jument     
Ha ha, no. I don't care how scary the wolf is, 7 seconds is unpossible unless you have a running start and are running down a cliff, maybe.

At least until 2030 and the advent of bionic legs.

10 Dec 2012 03:54 PM
fireclown     

Fano: doot doo doo do doo doo do da doo doo doo doo doo doO


Her name is RI-O . . .

10 Dec 2012 03:57 PM
fireclown     

Jument: At least until 2030 and the advent of bionic legs.


staringat.meView Full Size


/weird boner, I has it.

10 Dec 2012 03:59 PM
jaybeezey     

Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: "What we could not achieve in about two decades was achieved in one and a half years," Naqdi said, citing gasoline production as an example. Iran had tried to be self-sufficient in gasoline production since 1991, but only said it achieved that level in 2010, two years after the first gasoline bans were imposed. Iran is doing so well under the sanctions, Naqdi insisted, it should not seek to have them lifted. "If I were in the place of authorities, I would not demand the lifting of the sanctions," he said. "I would instead tell our enemies to impose sanctions as much as they can, because we will discover our hidden capabilities."

Coming from an Iranian official this is likely 99% bluster, but I wonder if these rubes actually believe this is a good thing? Of course you can be self-sufficient in many things, but is it the best use of your time and resources? Trying to become self-sufficient in things you're not very good at is extremely expensive in terms of real and opportunity costs because it distracts you from those things which you can do well. Saudi Arabia tried to become self-sufficient in wheat production but had to subsidize it so heavily, and it took so much water, that even with their oil riches they had to give it up. They could have just stockpiled a huge grain reserve for far less than the cost of trying to grow it themselves.

/Sorry for threadjacking to discuss TFA, you may now resume your "who can run faster" discussion.


It's not like creating new technologies from scratch is cutting into their NFL/NBA/MLB/NHL(not) tv viewing time.

10 Dec 2012 04:42 PM
WarszawaScream     

slyandtheblooddiamond: [imgs.xkcd.com image 460x859]

Then just add raptors.


Reporting for duty. Be over there sharpening the claws.

10 Dec 2012 04:54 PM
Vitamin Pb    [TotalFark]  

dittybopper: Odd Bird: That wolf will do the 100 in 6 seconds if there's a meal involved.

This:

[img236.imageshack.us image 582x181]

will cover that 100 yards in about 190 milliseconds. I win.


It will take you more than those 6 seconds to fill and load and aim that, Mr. Wolf Chow.

10 Dec 2012 05:30 PM
Loadmaster     
"If I were in the place of authorities, I would not demand the lifting of the sanctions," he said. "I would instead tell our enemies to impose sanctions as much as they can, because we will discover our hidden capabilities."
He went on to say that "far too many Iranians can still afford decadent western luxuries such as running water and indoor toilets, and that the sanctions would soon force citizens to adopt simpler and purer lifestyles, more like those that Persians enjoyed during the height of their greatness as the central mid-east power [during the 13th century]."

He added that "soon the world will see our great ingenuity when we fire, uh, turn on our nuclear reactors and hear the shudders and moaning of the wicked Zionists, who have been stealing all of our wealth in the first place."

10 Dec 2012 06:25 PM
MrVeach     

Vitamin Pb: dittybopper: Odd Bird: That wolf will do the 100 in 6 seconds if there's a meal involved.

This:

[img236.imageshack.us image 582x181]

will cover that 100 yards in about 190 milliseconds. I win.

It will take you more than those 6 seconds to fill and load and aim that, Mr. Wolf Chow.


Less than 6 seconds to fill, load and aim if the wolf because a wolf is chasing him

10 Dec 2012 06:29 PM
MrVeach     

MrVeach: Vitamin Pb: dittybopper: Odd Bird: That wolf will do the 100 in 6 seconds if there's a meal involved.

This:

[img236.imageshack.us image 582x181]

will cover that 100 yards in about 190 milliseconds. I win.

It will take you more than those 6 seconds to fill and load and aim that, Mr. Wolf Chow.

Less than 6 seconds to fill, load and aim if the wolf because a wolf is chasing him


Ha thats the red stripe typing

10 Dec 2012 06:30 PM
mbillips     

Vitamin Pb: dittybopper: Odd Bird: That wolf will do the 100 in 6 seconds if there's a meal involved.

This:

[img236.imageshack.us image 582x181]

will cover that 100 yards in about 190 milliseconds. I win.

It will take you more than those 6 seconds to fill and load and aim that, Mr. Wolf Chow.


Assuming a loaded and primed flintlock, and a wolf attacking from first spotting its target at 100 meters, and charging at 4m/sec2, and assuming a lock-time of 1 second, what is the optimum range at which to shoot the wolf?

10 Dec 2012 07:34 PM
LargeCanine     

fireclown: Jument: At least until 2030 and the advent of bionic legs.

[staringat.me image 580x316]

/weird boner, I has it.


Nothing weird about it. She is a beautiful woman. They wouldn't have taken those pics were she not.

10 Dec 2012 07:42 PM
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