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   Scientists confirm what fat people have known for years: joggers are dumb

10 Dec 2012 07:50 PM   |   22077 clicks   |   MSNBC
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The Stealth Hippopotamus    [TotalFark]  
It's all the bouncing, that cant be good for your brain.

10 Dec 2012 04:33 PM
mysticcat    [TotalFark]  
So the runner's high is really just carbon monoxide?

10 Dec 2012 05:19 PM
CommieTaoist    [TotalFark]  
Well at least they're not as dumb as bicyclists are.

10 Dec 2012 05:35 PM
Elzar     
Joggers are dumb - runners on the other hand are farking awesome.

/ Slower then 10min/mi pace - you are a farking jogger

10 Dec 2012 05:59 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     
Urban jogging may be making you dumber


Urbane jogging, on the other hand, enriches your life as you jog down the street with a leather-bound copy of A Tale of Two Cities in one hand and a brandy snifter in the other hand.

10 Dec 2012 06:06 PM
quatchi     
Suburban fresh air better than carbon monoxide laden city air when working out, ya say? Good tip, Champ.

10 Dec 2012 06:53 PM
Ed Finnerty     
I never feel better than after a good run - it really helps you feel alive. There's nothing like running on a crisp morning, the light breeze in your face, your numb left arm, the smell of burnt toast in the air, the distant sound of the ambulance as everything goes dark.

It's magical.

10 Dec 2012 07:00 PM
Ambivalence    [TotalFark]  
I don't get jogging. Biking i get. Swimming i get. If I'm running it's because something is chasing me. The idea of running for pleasure is just whack.

10 Dec 2012 07:26 PM
Silly Jesus     
This explains the idiocy of all urban bicyclists!

/farking hates all bicyclists that aren't in the woods

10 Dec 2012 07:52 PM
FunkOut    [TotalFark]  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: It's all the bouncing, that cant be good for your brain.


Brain, knees, ankles, tits...

10 Dec 2012 07:53 PM
Uchiha_Cycliste     

CommieTaoist: Well at least they're not as dumb as bicyclists are.


Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

10 Dec 2012 07:54 PM
Satanic_Hamster     

Ambivalence: I don't get jogging. Biking i get. Swimming i get. If I'm running it's because something is chasing me. The idea of running for pleasure is just whack.


t1.gstatic.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 07:54 PM
Carth     
So being outside in pollution often is bad for you. This shouldn't be a surprise.

10 Dec 2012 07:54 PM
PanicMan     

Ambivalence: I don't get jogging. Biking i get. Swimming i get. If I'm running it's because something is chasing me. The idea of running for pleasure is just whack.


I run because I'm not a runner; it's something I suck at and I hate sucking at things. Plus it makes you healthier and is free.

10 Dec 2012 07:56 PM
Erix     
I don't get running on the street. Trail running is fun, largely because it lets you put in a lot more distance than you could do hiking, but running in a city just sounds like hell.

10 Dec 2012 07:57 PM
AutumnWind     
Joggers find all the bodies.

10 Dec 2012 07:57 PM
Carth     

Ambivalence: I don't get jogging. Biking i get. Swimming i get. If I'm running it's because something is chasing me. The idea of running for pleasure is just whack.


Cycling is what you do when your joints can't take running and you have a few thousand dollars to spend.

10 Dec 2012 07:57 PM
taurusowner     
FTA "New research in Belgium shows that people who live in a city and exercise outdoors have higher levels of inflammation and lower scores on cognitive tests than those who exercise outside in the suburbs"

It's not the outdoor exercise that's making you dumb; it's living in a city.

10 Dec 2012 07:57 PM
El Dudereno     
If you actually want to get in shape, lift heavy things once a week for 30 minutes and you'll be fine.

Also, sleep more and eat right.

10 Dec 2012 07:58 PM
NASAM     
Running? Pfft. I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at exercisin'.

10 Dec 2012 07:58 PM
Doom MD     
There's so many problems with this article it isn't even funny. This article is what will make you dumber.

10 Dec 2012 07:59 PM
liam76     

Ambivalence: I don't get jogging. Biking i get. Swimming i get. If I'm running it's because something is chasing me. The idea of running for pleasure is just whack.


Jogging and running isn't the same.

10 Dec 2012 08:00 PM
farkingismybusiness     
25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 08:00 PM
Indubitably     
I believe it's pronounced, to yawg.

10 Dec 2012 08:01 PM
Uchiha_Cycliste     

HindiDiscoMonster: Uchiha_Cycliste: CommieTaoist: Well at least they're not as dumb as bicyclists are.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!

/FTFY


No no, I'm fairly certain that does not reflect my sentiment.


that's better.

10 Dec 2012 08:01 PM
bentleypm     
I remember being told exactly the same information by one of my college professors 14 years ago.

/old news, exciting, etc.

10 Dec 2012 08:02 PM
whipbambucket     

taurusowner: FTA "New research in Belgium shows that people who live in a city and exercise outdoors have higher levels of inflammation and lower scores on cognitive tests than those who exercise outside in the suburbs"

It's not the outdoor exercise that's making you dumb; it's living in a city.


thank you... please come again!

10 Dec 2012 08:02 PM
farkingismybusiness     
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

It's just a fad.

10 Dec 2012 08:02 PM
Ishkur    [TotalFark]  

Ambivalence: I don't get jogging. Biking i get. Swimming i get. If I'm running it's because something is chasing me. The idea of running for pleasure is just whack.


The heart is a muscle. It needs a good workout to get healthy and strong. Since it can't lift weights, there is no better way to work out the heart than to go running.

/swimming and biking are good too
//but running is best because it can be done anywhere.

10 Dec 2012 08:03 PM
Ishkur    [TotalFark]  
fta: Study participants were split into two groups: Fifteen in an urban location, and nine in a rural environment.

A sample set of 24? ....study is complete horseshiat and based on insufficient data with way too many variables involved to make this sort of claim.

Call me back when you at least have a couple thousand.

10 Dec 2012 08:05 PM
Triumph    [TotalFark]  

AutumnWind: Joggers find all the bodies.


BS. The guy that found Chandra Levy was hunting for turtles. The joggers zipped right by.

10 Dec 2012 08:08 PM
UsikFark     

farkingismybusiness: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 305x400]
It's just a fad.


1] put on jacket
2] unzip jacket
3] ???

I imagine by the time they get anywhere, they're naked.

10 Dec 2012 08:09 PM
INeedAName     
A few notes:

Running is not free - the wear and tear on your body can cost thousands.
It is not the best for your heart - several studies claim swimming to be better, and lower impact on the joints
Runner chicks are the best.


/Former runner
//The day I decided to hang up the spikes was the day my body started loving me again.

10 Dec 2012 08:09 PM
TofuTheAlmighty     

Ishkur: Call me back when you at least have a couple thousand.


Statistics do not work that way!

But seriously, 24 is a pretty small sample; a few hundred would be more than sufficient.

10 Dec 2012 08:10 PM
t3knomanser     

Ishkur: there is no better way to work out the heart than to go running.


Aside from sex.

And anything but running, which is the most miserable experience a human being can endure. You want me to do weighted jump lunges? Fine. Burpees? No problem. Burpees with pullups inbetween? Awesome. I wreck that shiat.

Running? Go fark yourself.

Ishkur: but running is best because it can be done anywhere.


It can't be done in my living room. I can get a fantastic workout, with plenty of cardio, in my living room. But I can't run in my living room.

10 Dec 2012 08:10 PM
sjcousins     
24 people seems like a very small sample size to detect any meaningful difference, but I have no doubt that exercising in a cloud of car exhaust and industrial pollution is not the best option.

10 Dec 2012 08:11 PM
balisane     
I live in the city, but only jog in the wee hours of the morning. Sudden death should probably be more of an immediate concern than pollution.

10 Dec 2012 08:11 PM
ggecko     
img.izismile.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 08:12 PM
Loadmaster     
People who live in a city and exercise outdoors have lower scores on cognitive tests than those who exercise outside in the suburbs.
Conclusion: Urban joggers are dumber than suburban joggers.

Which stands to reason, considering it's more dangerous to job in the city, requiring a mindset that is probably less adept at thinking possible consequences things through all the way and more prone to risky behavior.

This probably also explains why urban dwellers are predominantly liberal and suburban dwellers are predominantly conservative.

10 Dec 2012 08:12 PM
Fark Rye For Many Whores     

farkingismybusiness: [25.media.tumblr.com image 550x305]

 

i254.photobucket.comView Full Size

10 Dec 2012 08:12 PM
Indubitably     

t3knomanser: Ishkur: there is no better way to work out the heart than to go running.

Aside from sex.

And anything but running, which is the most miserable experience a human being can endure. You want me to do weighted jump lunges? Fine. Burpees? No problem. Burpees with pullups inbetween? Awesome. I wreck that shiat.

Running? Go fark yourself.

Ishkur: but running is best because it can be done anywhere.

It can't be done in my living room. I can get a fantastic workout, with plenty of cardio, in my living room. But I can't run in my living room.

To walk briskly


10 Dec 2012 08:12 PM
Indubitably     
This bears repeating: walking briskly is as good if not better for lack of detrimental impact on the joints and meniscuses, yo. *)

10 Dec 2012 08:14 PM
DrZiffle     
"I don't jog. It makes the ice slosh out of my glass."
--Martin Mull

10 Dec 2012 08:14 PM
Zeb Hesselgresser     

Silly Jesus: This explains the idiocy of all urban bicyclists!

/farking hates all bicyclists that aren't in the woods


Agreed, had an ex g/f buy me a ti road bike for my birthday, 8 yrs on it has maybe 6 miles on it. OTOH, I'm on my 6th Mt. Bike. Cars and bicycles don't mix well.

10 Dec 2012 08:14 PM
Carth     

t3knomanser: Ishkur: there is no better way to work out the heart than to go running.

Aside from sex.

And anything but running, which is the most miserable experience a human being can endure. You want me to do weighted jump lunges? Fine. Burpees? No problem. Burpees with pullups inbetween? Awesome. I wreck that shiat.

Running? Go fark yourself.

Ishkur: but running is best because it can be done anywhere.

It can't be done in my living room. I can get a fantastic workout, with plenty of cardio, in my living room. But I can't run in my living room.


I'd go out of my mind with boredom trying to maintain a aerobic heart rate for 1-2 hours working out in my living room. Running for that time however is pretty easy.

10 Dec 2012 08:16 PM
GreenSun     
Our environment is screwed.

10 Dec 2012 08:18 PM
power_slave     
I run between 50 and 70 miles per month in my victorian neighborhood through various parks and sometimes drive to the foothills to trail run (Denver). I experience increased metabolism and a brighter outlook plus I feel smarter so I probably am as a result. I am 30 and have been running since 20 and the occasional visit to a good sports physical therapist can keep your body aligned and tuned up perfectly. Never suffered a serious injury and knees are fine. So uh, whatever.

10 Dec 2012 08:22 PM
Ishkur    [TotalFark]  

t3knomanser: It can't be done in my living room.


2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size


/just saying
//all your other cardio suggestions are great also
///but nothing targets the heart quite like running
////and swimming and biking

10 Dec 2012 08:23 PM
BronyMedic     

Ed Finnerty: I never feel better than after a good run - it really helps you feel alive. There's nothing like running on a crisp morning, the light breeze in your face, your numb left arm, the smell of burnt toast in the air, the distant sound of the ambulance as everything goes dark.

It's magical.


You magnificent bastard. I just spit coke on my keyboard.

10 Dec 2012 08:23 PM
Onkel Buck     
That explains all the running I did in the military.

/The thought of running now makes me angry and all extremist-y

10 Dec 2012 08:24 PM
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