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   The Army sounds fat

11 Dec 2012 04:41 AM   |   10211 clicks   |   Washington Post
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Brontes    [TotalFark]  
Go be fat elsewhere. No really, Private, you are fired.

10 Dec 2012 11:30 PM
AverageAmericanGuy     
Americans are fat. We're also the best at the military. And snack foods and Freedom.

Somehow we manage to do all that while being fat. Maybe being fat isn't the problem. Maybe other countries just suck at stuff.

10 Dec 2012 11:43 PM
DanZero    [TotalFark]  
img.photobucket.comView Full Size

11 Dec 2012 12:01 AM
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
Our military is bloated in more ways than one...

11 Dec 2012 12:43 AM
The_Sponge    [TotalFark]  
Dewey Oxburger: My name's Dewey Oxburger. My friends call me Ox. You might have noticed that, uh, I've got a slight weight problem.

Soldiers: Nooo! Noooo!

Dewey Oxburger: Yeah, yeah I do. Yeah, I do. I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression... along with a lot of pizzas! Ha Ha Ha! Pizzas! I'm basically a shy person, I'm a shy guy. Uh, he suggested taking one these uh, aggression training courses. You know these aggression training courses like EST, those type of things. Anyway, it cost 400 bucks! 400 bucks to join this thing? Well I didn't have the money and I thought to myself, "Join the army"! It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds. And you got what, a 6 to 8 week training program here? A real tough one. Which is perfect for me.

[Looks around at all the soldiers and gestures emphatically]

Dewey Oxburger: I'm going to walk out of here a Lean, Mean, Fightin' Machine! Ha ha ha ha!

11 Dec 2012 01:49 AM
HotWingAgenda    [TotalFark]  
In before some precious snowflake complains that it's vicious unfair discrimination to fire soldiers for being fat.

11 Dec 2012 04:35 AM
log_jammin     
the Army has instructed commanders to make few exceptions when it comes to fitness,

Those few exceptions are the 20 year noncoms.

11 Dec 2012 04:46 AM
I sound fat     

HotWingAgenda: In before some precious snowflake complains that it's vicious unfair discrimination to fire soldiers for being fat.


eh, fat people generally dont want to be soldiers.

11 Dec 2012 04:54 AM
Oxygen_Thief    [TotalFark]  
Its funny because 5 years ago. when the Army kept missing recruiting goals this was not a problem...hmmm wonder why that was?

/served during that time..
//fat..seriously passed on the tape test like once in six years...to be fair there was like only one tape test.
///they never tested for weed either.

11 Dec 2012 04:54 AM
ModernLuddite     
Does the army just not make soldiers run around and climb stuff anymore?

No, seriously. I thought that was what you did at first. How do you get or stay fat in the army? Do you get to go on march on a rascal scooter? Do they serve cheesecake IV's at all hours? HOW?!?

11 Dec 2012 04:58 AM
Cheese eating surrender monkey     
This is going to end well.
img641.imageshack.usView Full Size

11 Dec 2012 05:04 AM
WordyGrrl     

ModernLuddite: Does the army just not make soldiers run around and climb stuff anymore?

No, seriously. I thought that was what you did at first. How do you get or stay fat in the army? Do you get to go on march on a rascal scooter? Do they serve cheesecake IV's at all hours? HOW?!?


Some units do formal PT (physical training) for 2 hours, 3-5 times a week. Other units? Eh, you know what you need to do to pass the PT and weight tests, so hit the gym on your own time.

Also much off-duty beer drinking, barracks parties, etc.

Too fat for the Army = slender compared to most of the civilian population of fatties.

11 Dec 2012 05:16 AM
tomo12144     
As a multiple time PT failure myself I get the fury these folks have over not passing. And feeling discriminated against. My fellow failures and I used to joke that it didn't matter how good you were at your job if you couldn't run. But I got off my ass and did something about it. The American taxpayers pay for, and deserve, the best fighting force they can get.

11 Dec 2012 05:18 AM
lewismarktwo     
Why can't the respective armed forces provide a doctor assisted health regimen that if the applicant fails to achieve said regimen's goals he or she is on the hook for the costs? Some people need all there options controlled in order to break their bad habits.

11 Dec 2012 05:32 AM
tomo12144     

lewismarktwo: Why can't the respective armed forces provide a doctor assisted health regimen that if the applicant fails to achieve said regimen's goals


They do. But the onus to comply with it is on you. No one is going to follow you to chow to watch what you're eating. Or black list your address with the pizza joint. Each service has a set number of times you can fail before separation. Get back in line and they'll keep you. As long as you aren't a screw up at something else too.

11 Dec 2012 05:39 AM
firefly212     
Fat kids grow up to be fat adults, eating right, exercising plenty, and having good habits doesn't start at high school graduation, it starts at birth. We can't seriously expect to maintain a fighting force when we have a nation that gets despondent over a few month gap in twinkie production.

You want healthy kids, instead of treating McDonald's like a price, you pass right by that place and say "eww, we don't want that nasty stuff." Don't start the pattern of associating validation with food, especially not the crappiest "food" substitutes on the planet.

11 Dec 2012 05:44 AM
Macular Degenerate     
The US Military is the most structured, controlling environment we could come up with, and if even they can't figure out how to keep people from being fat, we have a serious farking problem.

I recently moved from a decent sized city to a very rural area, and I witnessed this first hand. People in cities walk more, ride bikes, don't pull their Suburbans into McDonalds with as much regularity, and they are generally thinner. I see plenty of fat people but overall the people were normal weight. Come out here to the boondocks, and everybody is fat. I am recently single again, and I look around at online profiles and see that nearly every chick is fat, like 8 or 9 out of 10. And not a little extra, but a LOT extra. I'm no fitness trainer myself but I keep myself lean and make sure I can still fit into my clothes at the end of the week. But holy fark. Don't even ask me about a trip to Walmart on a Saturday night....

11 Dec 2012 05:54 AM
nmemkha     
This is the freaking army! Can't they assign them to a fat camp that runs them ragged and feeds them kale?

11 Dec 2012 05:55 AM
log_jammin     

Macular Degenerate: if even they can't figure out how to keep people from being fat, we have a serious farking problem.


nmemkha: This is the freaking army! Can't they assign them to a fat camp that runs them ragged and feeds them kale?



Hint: They don't want to do anything about it.

Under a mandate to reduce the force by tens of thousands in coming years, the Army has instructed commanders to make few exceptions when it comes to fitness

11 Dec 2012 05:58 AM
nmemkha     

log_jammin: Macular Degenerate: if even they can't figure out how to keep people from being fat, we have a serious farking problem.

nmemkha: This is the freaking army! Can't they assign them to a fat camp that runs them ragged and feeds them kale?


Hint: They don't want to do anything about it.

Under a mandate to reduce the force by tens of thousands in coming years, the Army has instructed commanders to make few exceptions when it comes to fitness


Hopefully they are using their brains as well as blanket mandates. Firing your best and brightest at non-physical jobs because of physical fitness is a waste of the tax dollars invested in them.

11 Dec 2012 06:02 AM
irving47     
My friend was in the Navy, but I find this whole thing ironic when he said he'd often see food crates being loaded onto his ship, and the boxes would say, "For prison use only" on the sides. Anyone that can say whether the Army gets the same?

11 Dec 2012 06:05 AM
log_jammin     

nmemkha: Hopefully they are using their brains as well as blanket mandates.


The key words in the sentence from the article is "make few exceptions". They're just getting rid of the people who never should have went in in the first place.

11 Dec 2012 06:05 AM
RediixOne     
It's because of the chow halls and lack of garrison command. Seriously, its really hard to eat healthy at military chow halls. Add overstocked desert bars and it becomes a problem. They should only let you get a cookie or two a week and scan your CAC to make sure you aren't overstuffing your fat face.

Also unit PT is more or less voluntary. In my unit in garrison its 3 times a week, but you only have to physically PT with the unit if you either failed your PT test or are projected to fail. It shouldn't be that relaxed. If you are getting below a 90 on your PT test, you should be required to make unit PT. Catching people as they reach the borderline is usually fruitless.

11 Dec 2012 06:16 AM
Subtle_Canary     
If the military wanted to slim the troops down the first thing they should do is kick out about 30% of the guys over the rank of E5 or O-3. These are the fat asses.
The military always scales itself down by reducing the lower ranks, always has, always will. Thats why we got more General Officers in the Army now, than we did in the 50's and 60's when the military was significantly larger.

These guys get a pass on the PFT (and oddly enough are the ones to administer it). My squadron in the AF had roughly an 85% pass rate for the the PFT. The folks failing it came in 3 flavors: Folks fresh from Tech School who had been half assing their PT during the 30 weeks between Basic and Operational, Women, and NCO's.
The first group tended to get their act together ASAP. The second group tend to persist because there's a lot of ways women cant skirt around PFT requirements and women tend to get on profile easier than men. But watching some Tech Sgt who is busting out of his uniform stay in the military year after year after sweaty lard filled year is happening because of the services' institutional bias against cutting folks at the top.

11 Dec 2012 06:19 AM
id10ts    [TotalFark]  
The Navy let's you be lousy at your job for years on end,
but goddammitsomuch if you aren't a runner.

"Failed your advancement exam again? That's okay."

"Failed your PT again? Sorry, that's the 3rd one in 4 years. Buh-bye."

Dumb jock keeps his job, brilliant donut eater gets out.

11 Dec 2012 06:24 AM
Serious Black     
Congratulations, conservatives. You wanted save money by cutting physical education classes. You wanted kids to eat whatever processed garbage their parents could afford on minimum wage instead of real food. You demonized people who encouraged kids to exercise as impinging on their freedom. Now you have a national security concern on your hands. Thanks for nothing, assclowns.

11 Dec 2012 06:34 AM
mbillips     
Fat people problems, lol.

/Fat and in the military. Passed my BCA by one pound. The Navy PT test is a doddle, though; you don't have to be a runner to jog a mile and a half.

11 Dec 2012 06:54 AM
Onkel Buck     
Color coded food choices at Basic Training? When I went through basic at Ft Sill in 1993 C battery 3/321 we were not allowed to drink pop ( yes I said pop, fark you) or get short order menu items like cheeseburgers or chili dogs, fries, or any kinds of desserts. I guess a lot has changed since my day.

11 Dec 2012 07:11 AM
left_middle_right     
The standards for height/weight and APFT haven't changed, just the enforcement of the standards. Depending on mission, the enforcement is lax or strict - we are getting back to strict, nothing more.

11 Dec 2012 07:17 AM
MythDragon     
www.militaryphotos.netView Full Size


What gets me is how selective it is. They'll flag someone for being exactly -1- pound overwieght and 1% over on bodyfat but otherwise passes a PT test well above minimum score, and keep him from promotion and then wash his ass out, and then there are walking meatsacks like above who stay that way for years.

I have some fat ass LT in my unit that's failed 3 PT tests for the past 2 years. Looks kinda like sugarloaf up there. He's still here.

11 Dec 2012 07:26 AM
dittybopper    [TotalFark]  

Macular Degenerate: The US Military is the most structured, controlling environment we could come up with, and if even they can't figure out how to keep people from being fat, we have a serious farking problem.


No.

You need to read between the lines. The Army is being told to trim its ranks to reduce costs. The easiest way to do that is to do things like up PT requirements, and stop giving waivers for soldiers a couple pounds over their weight limit.

THIS IS NOTHING NEW.

This was done back when I was in: Because of the Gramm-Rudman-Hollings Balanced Budget Act, the Army increased PT standards and also was happy to separate soldiers on the weight program back in the late 1980s.

I can't recall exactly, but I remember the minimum passing score for the 2 mile run for my sex and age going from something like 17 minutes and change down to the mid-16 minutes. Number of minimum push-ups in 2 minutes was increased by 2.

Looking at the current standards, it seems that the required number of pushups and situps has increased since I was in.

11 Dec 2012 07:29 AM
pciszek     
I am surprised that this is a problem with people who have made it through basic and are already in the service. I thought that basic weeded out anyone who wasn't in shape, and they didn't get that much of a chance to get out of shape on active duty.

11 Dec 2012 07:29 AM
dittybopper    [TotalFark]  

left_middle_right: The standards for height/weight and APFT haven't changed, just the enforcement of the standards. Depending on mission, the enforcement is lax or strict - we are getting back to strict, nothing more.


Yep, due to budgetary pressures.

11 Dec 2012 07:30 AM
juvandy     
It's time for a conscription program, IMO. The problem with an all-volunteer force is that you only attract the people who want to be there, or who have no other choice. Even in today's economy, and especially given the geopolitical climate, few people want to enlist, or have no other choice to get by. As a result, the military has to relax its enlistment standards during wartime, but also has to relax its "lifestyle" standards, both on the front and on base in order to make it attractive for those volunteers who don't just want to serve their countries. Most young Americans are used to a lazy, sedentary, digital lifestyle, and the military has had to accommodate, if not embrace, that lifestyle. Heck, a few years ago there was a documentary on a unit in the Korengal Valley, supposedly at the time one of the hottest parts of Afghanistan, and the guys were stationed in a firebase in the field that was often mortared, sniped, and machine-gunned, yet had bunks, x-boxes, internet, etc. No wonder they're having trouble meeting their fitness requirements!

Start a draft. Turn the military (or at least the infantry) back into the tough, miserable duty it is supposed to be (you know, killing others and risking death for your fellow citizens). Don't make it out to be some joyride camping trip in the boonies. Run their butts into the dirt and forge them into instruments of death. Many people have read or watched Band of Brothers- those guys had to run up and down Currahee Mountain in Toccoa, GA, pretty much every day of their training. If you've never seen the mountain itself, you should go check it out. It's the steepest 3 miles up a hill you've ever seen, especially the last mile. I don't personally know a single person who I honestly think could run that thing without stopping. An infantryman should be able to run that without breaking a sweat.

11 Dec 2012 07:38 AM
dittybopper    [TotalFark]  

juvandy: The problem with an all-volunteer force is that you only attract the people who want to be there, or who have no other choice.


The problem with a conscripted force is that you get a significant fraction of people who really, really, really don't want to be there.

You don't want Pvt. Idont Giveafark next to you when the shiat goes down.

11 Dec 2012 07:42 AM
liam76     

tomo12144: As a multiple time PT failure myself I get the fury these folks have over not passing. And feeling discriminated against. My fellow failures and I used to joke that it didn't matter how good you were at your job if you couldn't run. But I got off my ass and did something about it. The American taxpayers pay for, and deserve, the best fighting force they can get


So they "discriminated" against you for giving you shiat for not passing a test you are supposed to pass as part of yoru job?!?!


dittybopper: You need to read between the lines. The Army is being told to trim its ranks to reduce costs. The easiest way to do that is to do things like up PT requirements, and stop giving waivers for soldiers a couple pounds over their weight limit.


It is also an easy way out for officers. I knwo a few that have gotten otu by getting over weigth and nto passing their tests. These are guys that a year before were in solid shape. I don't know how it i sfor enlisted but these guys got out with honorable.

11 Dec 2012 07:48 AM
Harry Freakstorm     
MythDragon

Sounds like your LT has connections. I always liked the people who 'took' the PT test "offline" and passed it despite their body mass and smoking habits indicating otherwise. These people missed the company PT test and would "retake" it. They'd disappear for a couple of hours with the PSNCO (who is their bud) and return to announce they passed. The ones that really burned me were the ones that scored 300 and then wheezed their way up a flight of stairs.

11 Dec 2012 07:50 AM
hasty ambush     

nmemkha: log_jammin: Macular Degenerate: if even they can't figure out how to keep people from being fat, we have a serious farking problem.

nmemkha: This is the freaking army! Can't they assign them to a fat camp that runs them ragged and feeds them kale?


Hint: They don't want to do anything about it.

Under a mandate to reduce the force by tens of thousands in coming years, the Army has instructed commanders to make few exceptions when it comes to fitness

Hopefully they are using their brains as well as blanket mandates. Firing your best and brightest at non-physical jobs because of physical fitness is a waste of the tax dollars invested in them.


I would argue those who lack the self discipline and motovation to keep from being fat (we called them beachballs with lips) are neither your best or your brightest and should not be in the military. Those that are discharged for beng oveweight should lose all military beneifts as a way to compensate the tax payers for not holding up their end of the agreement. Maybe they should be prosecuted in the same manner a service member would be prosecuted for deliberatedly injurying himself to avoid deployment..

My own belief is that if you have miltiary job that does not require you to be in good physical condition you should be replaced by a civilian contractor or civil servant.

If we are going to go sp far as a different set of standards for those who do not need to be as physically fit I would also argue that military benefits should be based on direct combat with the enemy or harzard of the profession. A Marine Rifleman, Army Infantry, Combat Enginerrt or EOD would receive more generous VA benefits than a clerk in the Pentagon a radio repairman or a bandsman oe other REMFs..

11 Dec 2012 07:52 AM
liam76     
to a body-fat index test that takes into account tape measurements of the neck and waistlines

Jesus christ, they still do this?

11 Dec 2012 07:52 AM
911Jenny     
My brother busted his ass to lose over 100lbs so he could join the Marines. A loss he has maintained while in there. I remember him telling me the food sucked at MCRD but when he went to Fort Leonard Wood for training he was astonished to see them offer pizza and ice cream and what not.

One of his co's told them if he caught any of them eating shiatty food like "those fat farks" he was going to kick their ass.

My brother did not touch the ice cream.

11 Dec 2012 07:54 AM
dittybopper    [TotalFark]  

liam76: dittybopper: You need to read between the lines. The Army is being told to trim its ranks to reduce costs. The easiest way to do that is to do things like up PT requirements, and stop giving waivers for soldiers a couple pounds over their weight limit.

It is also an easy way out for officers. I knwo a few that have gotten otu by getting over weigth and nto passing their tests. These are guys that a year before were in solid shape. I don't know how it i sfor enlisted but these guys got out with honorable.


As I recall, from long, long ago, it was a "general discharge under honorable conditions".

11 Dec 2012 07:58 AM
Harry Freakstorm     
www.militaryphotos.netView Full Size


I always wondered about that photo. Why is fatass in a PT uniform with a reflector belt and carrying a weapon? I'm guessing that is the only uniform they could pour him in to. He's probably an IRR that got called up but I don't see a lot of other soldiers carrying weapons so it's not a tactical. Also, it looks like it is a pretty nice mess facility so (maybe) they aren't at a FOB.

If he's IRR and got called up, they must have really needed that MOS. My last physical (1999), there was a guy there with a 42% body fat. Massive Dunlop Disease. The guy taping him laughed and said he was the biggest guy he ever measured. Turns out he was a 63C and they waivered him. Back then, I believe, anything over 25% was automatic out.

11 Dec 2012 07:58 AM
hasty ambush     
FTFA:"Our service members must be physically prepared to deploy on a moment's notice anywhere on the globe to extremely austere and demanding conditions."

Really? Then explain the pregnant ones. Pregnancy is for the most part a voluntary condition is whIch the female service member makes herself non-deployabole and in some case unable to even do the job she has been trained for stateside for almost a year. If a male service member were to deliberately make himself medically unaable to do his job he would face prosecution under the UCMJ.

Deployability should be the primary standard when determining retention/re-enlisment and promotion

11 Dec 2012 08:02 AM
dittybopper    [TotalFark]  

Harry Freakstorm: If he's IRR and got called up, they must have really needed that MOS. My last physical (1999), there was a guy there with a 42% body fat. Massive Dunlop Disease. The guy taping him laughed and said he was the biggest guy he ever measured. Turns out he was a 63C and they waivered him. Back then, I believe, anything over 25% was automatic out.


There was that much demand for a track vehicle mechanic?

11 Dec 2012 08:02 AM
KrispyKritter     
hey, fat farks = not killing people? sounds great! chow down mates. have seconds. thousands of people who live in countries thousands of miles away from America will be grateful to live another day.

/so thankful i wasn't born in some shiathole where things explode all the time

11 Dec 2012 08:03 AM
dittybopper    [TotalFark]  

hasty ambush: FTFA:"Our service members must be physically prepared to deploy on a moment's notice anywhere on the globe to extremely austere and demanding conditions."

Really? Then explain the pregnant ones. Pregnancy is for the most part a voluntary condition is whIch the female service member makes herself non-deployabole and in some case unable to even do the job she has been trained for stateside for almost a year. If a male service member were to deliberately make himself medically unaable to do his job he would face prosecution under the UCMJ.

Deployability should be the primary standard when determining retention/re-enlisment and promotion


As I recall, pregnancy was an "easy out" for women. Sick of the military, and wanted a way to get out without the stigma of a non-honorable discharge? Get pregnant, and you could get an automatic honorable discharge if you asked for it. Apparently, it's not quite automatic anymore, but still a relatively easy out for a single woman, especially if she claims not to know who the father is (and thus can't assure a parent will be around if she is deployed).

11 Dec 2012 08:10 AM
vudukungfu    [TotalFark]  
Cn haz freedums friez?

11 Dec 2012 08:13 AM
eas81     
farm2.staticflickr.comView Full Size

11 Dec 2012 08:19 AM
hasty ambush     

dittybopper: hasty ambush: FTFA:"Our service members must be physically prepared to deploy on a moment's notice anywhere on the globe to extremely austere and demanding conditions."

Really? Then explain the pregnant ones. Pregnancy is for the most part a voluntary condition is whIch the female service member makes herself non-deployabole and in some case unable to even do the job she has been trained for stateside for almost a year. If a male service member were to deliberately make himself medically unaable to do his job he would face prosecution under the UCMJ.

Deployability should be the primary standard when determining retention/re-enlisment and promotion

As I recall, pregnancy was an "easy out" for women. Sick of the military, and wanted a way to get out without the stigma of a non-honorable discharge? Get pregnant, and you could get an automatic honorable discharge if you asked for it. Apparently, it's not quite automatic anymore, but still a relatively easy out for a single woman, especially if she claims not to know who the father is (and thus can't assure a parent will be around if she is deployed).


When I started serving it was not an easy out it was a mandatory out. Pregancy meant they were out.

As far as I am concerned pregnancy has done more to undermine military readiness than the gays in the military ever will.

11 Dec 2012 08:21 AM
GilRuiz1     
Seventy-five percent of civilians who wanted to join the force were ineligible, he said. Obesity was the leading cause.

Wow.

11 Dec 2012 08:27 AM
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