Hello and welcome to the next greenlit voting thread for Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2012. We've collected the best headlines from each month and let the Totalfarkers vote on their favorites. These are the 10 top-voted headlines from March, April and May from this year as voted.
 
Now it's up to you: vote on your favorites, and the top five from this contest will make it to the final round later. There will also be a contest for each of the biggest subtabs later: sports, showbiz, geek, politics and business. The week after that we will have the voting threads for pun/wordplay headlines and the context headline of the year. 
 
There are also some headlines that you might not see here because either: 1) they've been moved to a separate contest, such as a context headline or one that's on a subtab, or 2) they didn't make it out of the voting threads in Totalfark. I'll link the redlit TF voting threads later on in this thread. Please don't enable voting; the finalists for this period are set. Nothing wrong with sharing a favorite headline from this period, as long as you don't enable voting for it.
 
So enjoy these and submit your vote for which of these is worthy of being the Headline of the Year. 

83-year-old woman dies from grass fire smoke. She fought the lawn, and the lawn won

http://www.fark.com/comments/69994 26

Arctic rivers add toxic mercury to the Arctic Ocean. This sounds like something that came from Hg wells

http://www.fark.com/comments/71208 28

Arizona migrant case could lead to sweeping changes. Also dishwashing changes, landscaping changes, and nanny changes

http://www.fark.com/comments/70722 35

Boy spends eight hours stuck between waterfalls. He should have stuck to the rivers and the lakes that he is used to

http://www.fark.com/comments/71169 20

Boy takes girl with Down Syndrome to prom, where every dance is a slow dance

http://www.fark.com/comments/70664 25

Dick Cheney in recovery after heart plant surgery

http://www.fark.com/comments/70131 65

Dock collapses during prom photo shoot due to pier pressure

http://www.fark.com/comments/70970 75

Documents recovered from the raid that killed Osama bin Laden show he wanted to rename Al Qaeda to something less identified with "failure after failure". Unfortunately for him, "Congress" was already taken

http://www.fark.com/comments/70805 05

Dutch twin prostitutes, 69, serve as a harsh lesson on why you finish reading a headline before clicking

http://www.fark.com/comments/71273 31

Fishermen are catching tons of shrmp in the Gulf. You read that right, these shrmp have no eyes

http://www.fark.com/comments/70578 54

Five hurt after De Plane misses DeLand and lands on De Publix

http://www.fark.com/comments/70297 66

Hand, foot and now a partial body in Montreal. Could this be the work of separatists?

http://www.fark.com/comments/71342 60

Joshua Tree employees stricken by unknown illness. Hazmat teams conduct search for cause, but they still haven't found what they're looking for

http://www.fark.com/comments/70109 99

Louis Farrakhan says "Jesus was a black man." Well, Jesus liked Gospel, called everyone "brother" and couldn't get a fair trial, so it may be true

http://www.fark.com/comments/70479 52

Man steals a vibrating condom, lubrication, and mascara from a drug store. Obviously it was robbed for her pleasure

http://www.fark.com/comments/69995 14

Men charged with stealing thousands of dollars worth of printer ink. Police say both cartridges were successfully recovered

http://www.fark.com/comments/70740 13

Old fruit is better for you says study, Ian McKellen

http://www.fark.com/comments/70479 69

One in four pilots fight fatigue, having to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes

http://www.fark.com/comments/69861 71

"Police search for three armed men in home invasion." STANDARD HANDCUFFS WON'T WORK, PEOPLE

http://www.fark.com/comments/71121 73

Scientists measure first antimatter "atom", remarking that it appears very much like a normal atom except for the tiny little goatee

http://www.fark.com/comments/69830 03

Shampoo commercial featuring Adolf Hitler draws outrage. "Mein herr .... is so soft and silky"

http://www.fark.com/comments/70142 70

South African bodyboarder killed by great white shark remembered as well-mannered boy and great chum

http://www.fark.com/comments/70620 16

Special needs adults taken to hospital after multi-vehicle accident. They were tardy due to traffic, chromosomes

http://www.fark.com/comments/70218 29

Teen passes out in woman's yard after using spice. Woman tells him to get off her lawn, stop folding space

http://www.fark.com/comments/70313 02

Teenager sent to hospital after being struck by lightning twice in the same afternoon -- later discharged

http://www.fark.com/comments/70562 71

The inventor of the TV remote control has passed away. His body was discovered after several weeks, buried between the couch cushions

http://www.fark.com/comments/71197 93

The Melvins are selling their van, which features artwork by Kurt Cobain on the side. I CALL SHOTGUN

http://www.fark.com/comments/69799 58

Three men caught stripping stolen car. I never understood autoerotica

http://www.fark.com/comments/71166 22

Utah has nation's highest autism rate. Their parents probably did too much LDS when they were young

http://www.fark.com/comments/70227 85

Woman with oxygen tank smokes one way, then another

http://www.fark.com/comments/70878 06