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   Doctor suggests you should take action now if you're an 'Almost Alcoholic'. Drew suggests coughing up $5 a month to remove all doubt

11 Dec 2012 04:51 PM   |   11427 clicks   |   KHOU Houston
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blatz514    [TotalFark]  
Dr. Doyle is focusing on the zone, between normal use and alcoholism diagnosis-the so-called almost alcoholic range. Here, the risk of things like insomnia, diabetes and cancer can increase.

Really? I find putting away a 12er a night takes care of that problem.

11 Dec 2012 03:54 PM
trivial use of my dark powers     
By 'taking action' I assume he means drink more to achieve that alcoholism. No one likes a quitter.

11 Dec 2012 04:07 PM
Gordian Cipher    [TotalFark]  
Brenda Wilhelmson believes she was an almost alcoholic. She confides, "It turned into a way that I rewarded myself at the end of the day, and it just escalated from there. I was basically drinking myself to sleep every night."

That's called alcoholism, sweetie. Nothing almost about it.

11 Dec 2012 04:07 PM
dahmers love zombie    [TotalFark]  
Dr. Doyle suggests, "If you're having four beers on Monday morning Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

That was the point where I began getting concerned.

11 Dec 2012 04:27 PM
antidisestablishmentarianism    [TotalFark]  
I scored a 12. I thought it would be much worse.

11 Dec 2012 04:34 PM
Gordian Cipher    [TotalFark]  
Woo! High score!

Just kidding, it's a 6.

/would have been more like a 20 in college

11 Dec 2012 04:39 PM
TheBeastOfYuccaFlats    [TotalFark]  

dahmers love zombie: Dr. Doyle suggests, "If you're having four beers on Monday morning Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

That was the point where I began getting concerned.


Yeah no shiat. Depending on your metabolism and weight, 4 beers in one night is pretty much nothing.

This article is the equivalent of my friend's mom thinking I'm an alcoholic because I have a large array of liquor bottles in my kitchen.

11 Dec 2012 04:43 PM
InspectorZero     

antidisestablishmentarianism: I scored a 12. I thought it would be much worse.


10 here, and me too....

11 Dec 2012 04:52 PM
H31N0US     
Dr. Doyle suggests, "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two eight beers."

FTFM.

11 Dec 2012 04:53 PM
Boojum2k     
I got a 3. . .

11 Dec 2012 04:54 PM
dabbletech     
Leave me alone.

11 Dec 2012 04:55 PM
wildcardjack    [TotalFark]  
Really, I only scored a 21?

It's probably because I don't drink when I get up. At noon. On a weekday.

11 Dec 2012 04:56 PM
H31N0US     
In other news you have to be a pretty farked up case to be considered an alcoholic according to that test.

11 Dec 2012 04:56 PM
Englebert Slaptyback     
I scored a 1.

It is possible that I am wicked boring but have a good, strong liver. :-|

11 Dec 2012 04:57 PM
sigdiamond2000    [TotalFark]  

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: This article is the equivalent of my friend's mom thinking I'm an alcoholic because I have a large array of liquor bottles in my kitchen.


FTFA:

Dr. Robert Doyle, a psychiatrist, researcher, and author

There's a lot of money to be made in convincing people they're broken and that you can fix them.

11 Dec 2012 04:57 PM
cefm     
This approach to measuring and treating alcohol use/dependency is very beneficial, in that it doesn't attempt to paint lower level users as full-blown alcoholics, which is not only inaccurate but also leads them to reject suggestions that they may have anything to deal with.

A lot of behaviors that can have negative effects appear accross a wide spectrum, not just at one end or the other.

I think that this approach is a step in the right direction - but of course it will be lambasted by two groups: the folks with somewhat unhealthy drinking patterns who reject any suggestion they should alter behavior and the AA recovering alcoholics who insist that anyone who drinks is a dangerous addict.

11 Dec 2012 04:57 PM
groppet     

Gordian Cipher: Woo! High score!

Just kidding, it's a 6.

/would have been more like a 20 in college


I couldnt get my score but I suspect it may have been the same. I drink so much less now. Hell a bottle of rum will last me longer than a month now. But I still hide it from my alcoholic roomate

11 Dec 2012 04:58 PM
robbiex0r     
14

*shrug*

11 Dec 2012 05:00 PM
Martin Silenus     
Just a 6. Must try harder in 2013. Next stop, shiat-My-Pantsville.

11 Dec 2012 05:01 PM
A Fark Handle     
farking busybodies telling me how to live my life.

11 Dec 2012 05:01 PM
Trafficguy2000     
11 gotta keep reaching for the dream

11 Dec 2012 05:02 PM
InspectorZero     

cefm: This approach to measuring and treating alcohol use/dependency is very beneficial, in that it doesn't attempt to paint lower level users as full-blown alcoholics, which is not only inaccurate but also leads them to reject suggestions that they may have anything to deal with.

A lot of behaviors that can have negative effects appear accross a wide spectrum, not just at one end or the other.

I think that this approach is a step in the right direction - but of course it will be lambasted by two groups: the folks with somewhat unhealthy drinking patterns who reject any suggestion they should alter behavior and the AA recovering alcoholics who insist that anyone who drinks is a dangerous addict.


Thanks for saying this. I used to imbibe way more than I do nowadays. I changed my behavior and now drink in moderation (mostly). I realize that some people are unable to control their drinking and destructive behavior it causes, but I really do think there are a lot more people who over-indulge to which the AA model does not apply.

11 Dec 2012 05:02 PM
AbbeySomeone     

sigdiamond2000: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: This article is the equivalent of my friend's mom thinking I'm an alcoholic because I have a large array of liquor bottles in my kitchen.

FTFA:

Dr. Robert Doyle, a psychiatrist, researcher, and author

There's a lot of money to be made in convincing people they're broken and that you can fix them.


No sh*t. Wow, he's got a book out just in time for the dysfunctional family holiday gatherings.

11 Dec 2012 05:03 PM
cefm     
A couple of bullshiat questions in there.

#7 How often have you felt guilt or remorse after drinking?
The question does not define a causal relationship - you could well be feeling guilt or remorse for something that has no connection to alcohol at all. Should rephrase to "guilt or remorse for something caused by or influenced by your drinking"

#10 - Has a relative or friend or coworker or a doctor expressed concern over your drinking?
The doctor part is OK, but the other 3 may have screwed up subjective views on drinking or on you - so the question itself leads to possibly inaccurate answers.

11 Dec 2012 05:03 PM
Red Shirt Blues    [TotalFark]  
Meh........15

11 Dec 2012 05:04 PM
cryinoutloud    [TotalFark]  
Nobody stops drinking when they're "almost' an alcoholic. That's the whole point of being an alcoholic, that you don't stop drinking when your head tells you that you should.

Duh, some doctor.

11 Dec 2012 05:04 PM
tricycleracer     
Dr. Doyle suggests, "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

Wait, you want me to drink six beers? Well, you're the doctor.

11 Dec 2012 05:05 PM
marleymaniac     
Woohoo! I only scored a 16! I thought I was way worse than that! Time to celebrate!

11 Dec 2012 05:05 PM
Rapmaster2000     
I get a 10, but including that time I got drunk and fell down the stairs ups it to 14. Seems kind of arbitrary.

11 Dec 2012 05:05 PM
breakfast_in_bedlam     
17. I work in the wine and spirits industry. This test is b.s. because, frankly, I worry about all the booze I consume.

/Drinking Pinot Noir while writing this.
//At work.

11 Dec 2012 05:07 PM
PrivateCaboose    [TotalFark]  
Given that we had our holiday party yesterday, followed by a happy hour, I'm getting a kick.

I left at 8:30, apparently the party went on until 2 am. That might be why I scored a 10 and not a 25.

11 Dec 2012 05:07 PM
WTFDYW     
28. What do I win?

11 Dec 2012 05:09 PM
Grapple     

groppet: But I still hide it from my alcoholic roomate


^^^^ lives alone. >8þ

11 Dec 2012 05:09 PM
Ow! That was my feelings!     
10. Fark, I am disappoint. I blame legal Cannabis.

11 Dec 2012 05:09 PM
toraque    [TotalFark]  
7?

What the hell, I've got to step up my game.

11 Dec 2012 05:09 PM
DoctorHowardDoctorFine     
Does ordering another round fall under "taking action"?

11 Dec 2012 05:10 PM
PrivateCaboose    [TotalFark]  

Grapple: groppet: But I still hide it from my alcoholic roomate

^^^^ lives alone. >8þ


My roommates would never dare touch my single malt scotch.

11 Dec 2012 05:10 PM
Blitzer     
A disappointing 22. I probably could have maxed out in my teen years in Green Bay, WI.

11 Dec 2012 05:11 PM
violentsalvation    [TotalFark]  
15... + $5 TotalFark.....lets see.. order of operations..carry the two.... yeah I drink too much.

11 Dec 2012 05:11 PM
skinink    [TotalFark]  
Doctor doctor, give me the news, I gotta bad case of lovin' booze! No cheap swill is gonna cure my ill, I gotta bad case of lovin' boooooooooze!

11 Dec 2012 05:11 PM
pute kisses like a man     
i got an 8.

got thing a recounted the number of drinks per night by a standard of whether or not the drink was satisfactory in both quantity and quality.

/ it's so farking aggravating to be served a crappy drink. i just don't count them.

11 Dec 2012 05:12 PM
tricycleracer     
I dry out at least 1 day a week.

That day was yesterday. I'm cleared for takeoff.

11 Dec 2012 05:12 PM
das     
Are, or are not.There is no almost.

11 Dec 2012 05:12 PM
Citrate1007     
Dr. Doyle suggests, "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

So just drink 2 less right.......down to 10 I guess. Yay me!

11 Dec 2012 05:12 PM
recoil47     

cefm: A couple of bullshiat questions in there.

#7 How often have you felt guilt or remorse after drinking?
The question does not define a causal relationship - you could well be feeling guilt or remorse for something that has no connection to alcohol at all. Should rephrase to "guilt or remorse for something caused by or influenced by your drinking"

#10 - Has a relative or friend or coworker or a doctor expressed concern over your drinking?
The doctor part is OK, but the other 3 may have screwed up subjective views on drinking or on you - so the question itself leads to possibly inaccurate answers.


You, good sir, sound like someone trying to justify squeaking into a lower bracket.

11 Dec 2012 05:12 PM
Mimic_Octopus     
ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.

11 Dec 2012 05:13 PM
bearded clamorer    [TotalFark]  

H31N0US: In other news you have to be a pretty farked up case to be considered an alcoholic according to that test.


This.

Scored a 17, and I drink at least a pint of liquor a day, mixed in with a few beers (but they don't count).

11 Dec 2012 05:13 PM
pute kisses like a man     

pute kisses like a man: i got an 8.

got thing a recounted the number of drinks per night by a standard of whether or not the drink was satisfactory in both quantity and quality.

/ it's so farking aggravating to be served a crappy drink. i just don't count them.


what happened to my typing? did someone re-set my keyboard? that's not what I meant to say.

11 Dec 2012 05:14 PM
basemetal    [TotalFark]  

3

0-8 = normal social drinking
9-29= almost alcoholic range
30-40 = high risk


Wooo, I'm boring!

11 Dec 2012 05:14 PM
Rapmaster2000     

skinink: Doctor doctor, give me the news, I gotta bad case of lovin' booze! No cheap swill is gonna cure my ill, I gotta bad case of lovin' boooooooooze!


I'll never hear that song the same way again. This will rival the early 80's when my friend forever turned "Queen of Hearts" into "Queen of Farts".

11 Dec 2012 05:14 PM
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