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   Snoop Dogg plays Moses in an epic (and nonsensical) rap battle against Santa Claus. Even the pancake wearing rabbit makes more sense than this

12 Dec 2012 11:55 AM   |   2950 clicks   |   Jezebel
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Elzar     
I do enjoy a good epic rap battle (Sinatra vs Freddie Mercury) , was pretty funny, but this was uber-lame. Why not Santa vs. Jesus? Probably because they couldn't get Snoop to do it unless it was a slightly less blasphemous religious figure (from an xtian perspective).

12 Dec 2012 10:46 AM
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AngryJailhouseFistfark     
It pleased me. Sure I know Moses was an Egyptian Jew, but he may very well have looked like the Snoop Dog and smoked the hemp. I liked his dancers too, especially the one with the large backside.

12 Dec 2012 11:56 AM
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DROxINxTHExWIND    [TotalFark]  
This guy was the star of "The Chronic". His 1st album is a classic. I'll pass. I don't want to see him like this. This is Jordan with the Wizards, Ewing with the Sonics, Montana with the Chiefs (even though they did ok)...

12 Dec 2012 12:01 PM
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grath     
nothing tops doctor who vs doc brown

12 Dec 2012 12:02 PM
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Hyatus     
I loved the Israe'L B.C.' line. ERB has been pretty meh since the Gates vs Jobs vs Hal battle, but there are a couple of gems here and there. I also dig EpicLloyd's Dis Raps for Hire.

12 Dec 2012 12:04 PM
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Shaggy0717     
that was anything but epic

12 Dec 2012 12:06 PM
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ItsJustJake     
It was certainly not the best of the Epic Rap Battles, but also not the worst. it was .. meh.

12 Dec 2012 12:06 PM
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david_gaithersburg     
Legalization will have its drawbacks.

12 Dec 2012 12:09 PM
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Snort     
This just in, Jezebel sucks. And not in the good way.

12 Dec 2012 12:10 PM
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Sofa King Smart     
along similar lines, the dj's from the annual 'Best of Bootie' mashup collections released another Christmas collection this week. http://www.bootiemashup.com/xmas/

12 Dec 2012 12:13 PM
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Glitchwerks     
*goes to Urban Dictionary*

Looks up "split ass in half"

Vernacular, commonly used by males, meaning, "I would like to have sexual relations with that female."

It refers to the long-standing male wish to have a phallus so large that the woman he's engaged in relations with is actually torn into two pieces.

12 Dec 2012 12:17 PM
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MBooda     
I have no idea what Snoop's talking about, so here's Mother Teresa with a pancake on her head.
flapjacksociety.com

12 Dec 2012 12:22 PM
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ActionJoe     

grath: nothing tops doctor who vs doc brown


As much as I like Doc Brown and the Doctor...it didn't work well as a rap battle. Rap battles need to have people that everyone knows. Not everyone knows the Doctor and even then, the more obscure characters you get the more obscure raps you get and the more it sucks.

Santa vs Jesus would have been a whole lot better. Especially if Snoop played Jesus. The comments about a black Jesus alone would have been hilarious.

12 Dec 2012 12:44 PM
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2chris2     
My favorite of the epic rap battles is Genghis Khan versus the Easter Bunny. The premise is just so silly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WA4tL CGcTG4

12 Dec 2012 12:47 PM
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Frank Anthrax     
What exactly was nonsensical about that?

12 Dec 2012 12:57 PM
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Frank Anthrax     
Also, Steve Jobs v. Bill Gates was easily the best one.

12 Dec 2012 12:58 PM
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Jim from Saint Paul     

ItsJustJake: It was certainly not the best of the Epic Rap Battles, but also not the worst. it was .. meh.


This.

I love ERB of history and I am happy for them that they have gotten famous enough to get a guy like Snoop Dogg to come on. Not their best though.

Stephen Hawking vs Albert Einstein

Hulk Hogan and Macho Man VS Kim Jong-il

Michael Jackson VS Elvis Presley Elvis to MJ: " I can tell that your angry, I can't comprehend it. I stole from black culture, why are YOU offended?".

/The "Obama/Romeny", "DocBrown/DocWho" and "Batman/SherlockHolmes are all recent ones that are pretty good too

12 Dec 2012 01:13 PM
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Mind of the North Star     
Snoop Dog?

12 Dec 2012 01:13 PM
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Jim from Saint Paul     

ActionJoe: grath: nothing tops doctor who vs doc brown

As much as I like Doc Brown and the Doctor...it didn't work well as a rap battle. Rap battles need to have people that everyone knows. Not everyone knows the Doctor and even then, the more obscure characters you get the more obscure raps you get and the more it sucks.

Santa vs Jesus would have been a whole lot better. Especially if Snoop played Jesus. The comments about a black Jesus alone would have been hilarious.


Then it would be a whole thread of people posting this:

api.ning.com

12 Dec 2012 01:20 PM
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howdoibegin     
That wasn't bad at all.

"You took the christ out of christmas and just added mo' mass."

That's clever.

12 Dec 2012 01:29 PM
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sp86     
Sure it's no Genghis Khan vs. the Easter Bunny but it's perfectly passable humor.

12 Dec 2012 01:31 PM
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Honest Bender    [TotalFark]  

Frank Anthrax: Also, Steve Jobs v. Bill Gates was easily the best one.


I can only assume you haven't seen the hawking/einstein one or the lincoln/norris one.

12 Dec 2012 01:48 PM
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Mr. Richard Smoker     
Begat deez nuts.

12 Dec 2012 02:22 PM
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Jim from Saint Paul     

Honest Bender: Frank Anthrax: Also, Steve Jobs v. Bill Gates was easily the best one.

I can only assume you haven't seen the hawking/einstein one or the lincoln/norris one.


Einstein to Hawking: "Let me pull you up a chair...oop, I see you brought your own."

LMAO at diasbilities

12 Dec 2012 02:34 PM
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ItsJustJake     
Eagle!

12 Dec 2012 02:46 PM
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Jim from Saint Paul     

ItsJustJake: Eagle!


CAWWWWWWWWWW!

12 Dec 2012 02:50 PM
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The Muthaship    [TotalFark]  

DROxINxTHExWIND: This guy was the star of "The Chronic". His 1st album is a classic. I'll pass. I don't want to see him like this. This is Jordan with the Wizards, Ewing with the Sonics, Montana with the Chiefs (even though they did ok)...


That was Dre's album, and it was awesome. Except for the part where he tricked us into thinking Snoop could rap.

12 Dec 2012 03:42 PM
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The Muthaship    [TotalFark]  
Nevermind, it looks like you meant Snoop's album after The Chronic.

/I never considered it classic, I guess.

12 Dec 2012 03:47 PM
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Clemkadidlefark     
Won't someone please put Calvin to sleep?

12 Dec 2012 04:25 PM
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RatMaster999     

Jim from Saint Paul: ItsJustJake: Eagle!

CAWWWWWWWWWW!


That's the best one, by far.

Batman vs Holmes just sucked.

12 Dec 2012 05:10 PM
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TheotherMIguy     

RatMaster999: Jim from Saint Paul: ItsJustJake: Eagle!

CAWWWWWWWWWW!

That's the best one, by far.

Batman vs Holmes just sucked.


I dunno, I liked the fact that they acknowledged both the Nolan "I'm talking with rocks in my mouth" and the Adam West "I'm gonna do a live action comic book!" with the Batman. And the nod to the RDJr Holmes with the talk through.

12 Dec 2012 05:24 PM
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Mind of the North Star     

TheotherMIguy: RatMaster999: Jim from Saint Paul: ItsJustJake: Eagle!

CAWWWWWWWWWW!

That's the best one, by far.

Batman vs Holmes just sucked.

I dunno, I liked the fact that they acknowledged both the Nolan "I'm talking with rocks in my mouth" and the Adam West "I'm gonna do a live action comic book!" with the Batman. And the nod to the RDJr Holmes with the talk through.



Yeah I gotta agree with that. On a basic level I just thought Batman's flow wasn't as good as Holmes'. Holmes had it all when it comes to multisyllabic rhymes and wittier punchlines

12 Dec 2012 05:38 PM
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Rambino     

Mind of the North Star:

Yeah I gotta agree with that. On a basic level I just thought Batman's flow wasn't as good as Holmes'. Holmes had it all when it comes to multisyllabic rhymes and wittier punchlines


Random Robin won the day in that one. I also have a certain appreciation for the straight-to-the-point lines line "nice hat ... dork!" and "eat it nerds!"

Hawking and Columbus still have the best one-liners though.

12 Dec 2012 05:46 PM
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eddievercetti    [TotalFark]  
1. Doc Brown vs. Doctor Who
2. Clint vs. Bruce Lee
3. Superpowers vs. Kim Jong Il
4. Stephen Hawking vs Albert Einstein
shiatler vs. Darth Vader

/Monore vs. Cleopatra was good as well.

12 Dec 2012 06:06 PM
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suziequzie     
One of my faves: Link

And another: Link

12 Dec 2012 06:30 PM
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Iczer     
Wait, I thought he was Kwanzaa-Bot...

Linky

12 Dec 2012 06:38 PM
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TheJoe03     
I don't care what you guys think because the youtube show he does, GGN, is funny as hell to me. Stoner comedy of course, and it's better than him doing his weak new rap and reggae songs.

12 Dec 2012 06:38 PM
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untaken_name     

Frank Anthrax: What exactly was nonsensical about that?


What Jezebel was doing reporting on it.

12 Dec 2012 08:03 PM
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Apos     
Snoop easily bested Claus, even with lazy lyrics. He does this for a living.

Not one of the better ones out there, but fairly amusing nonetheless.

12 Dec 2012 08:14 PM
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Benza     
Dr Zeus vs Shakespeare or Beethoven vs Beiber are my two personal favorites.

12 Dec 2012 09:47 PM
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Junzi Nicuzn     

Rambino: Mind of the North Star:

Yeah I gotta agree with that. On a basic level I just thought Batman's flow wasn't as good as Holmes'. Holmes had it all when it comes to multisyllabic rhymes and wittier punchlines

Random Robin won the day in that one. I also have a certain appreciation for the straight-to-the-point lines line "nice hat ... dork!" and "eat it nerds!"

Hawking and Columbus still have the best one-liners though.


Pretty sure I know the Hawking one, but I had to rewatch Columbus in an attempt to figure out which one-liner you mean. Nothing really leaped out at me. Fictional stain?

12 Dec 2012 10:29 PM
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styckx     
When did Snoop stop rapping and just start speaking normal sentence over beats and out of sync?

13 Dec 2012 02:16 AM
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untaken_name     

styckx: When did Snoop stop rapping and just start speaking normal sentence over beats and out of sync?


upload.wikimedia.org

13 Dec 2012 08:16 AM
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The Muthaship    [TotalFark]  
2 Of Amerikaz Most Wanted with him and Tupac should have been the end of Snoop's career. Never has one rapper made another rapper look so bad, and it wasn't even a battle.

13 Dec 2012 08:18 AM
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Cerebral Knievel    [TotalFark]  

Sofa King Smart: along similar lines, the dj's from the annual 'Best of Bootie' mashup collections released another Christmas collection this week. http://www.bootiemashup.com/xmas/


And My Favorite guy, DJ Riko put out Merry Mixmas 2012 this week as well.

DJ Riko, Merry Mixmass 2012

13 Dec 2012 03:31 PM
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