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   Since hitting the mute button is such a burden, the government will begin protecting your delicate ears from loud commercials starting at midnight

12 Dec 2012 04:57 PM   |   11495 clicks   |   Mother Jones
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markie_farkie    [TotalFark]  
IT'S ABOUT FARKING TIME THEY ENFORCED THAT! 

12 Dec 2012 02:37 PM
Blues_X    [TotalFark]  
Good.

12 Dec 2012 02:38 PM
markie_farkie    [TotalFark]  
Now back to your regularly scheduled Fark comments.

12 Dec 2012 02:38 PM
Marcus Aurelius    [TotalFark]  
The show/movie's sound track will be rendered nearly inaudible instead so that you have to turn your volume up to 70 or so.

12 Dec 2012 02:40 PM
MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
WHAT?

12 Dec 2012 02:42 PM
Shostie    [TotalFark]  
I'd like to have the option to level the sound when watching a movie.

Too often I have to strain to hear dialogue and then immediately turn down the TV when sh*t suddenly starts exploding.

Example:

"I know, John. This is wrong. I'm your sister's best friend and she has a right to know that you're cheating on her-"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM CRASH YEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWW RATATATATATATATATATA! "HOLY F*CK WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE NOW, COLONEL!" BLAAAAAAAAAAAST BLAST BLAST BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

12 Dec 2012 02:46 PM
timujin    [TotalFark]  
what are these "commercials" of which you speak.

/haven't unintentionally watched one in a very long time

12 Dec 2012 02:48 PM
cman     
People still watch TV?

12 Dec 2012 02:49 PM
Dancin_In_Anson    [TotalFark]  

Blues_X: Good.


Sorry about your condition.

12 Dec 2012 02:49 PM
ToxicMunkee     

Shostie: I'd like to have the option to level the sound when watching a movie.

Too often I have to strain to hear dialogue and then immediately turn down the TV when sh*t suddenly starts exploding.

Example:

"I know, John. This is wrong. I'm your sister's best friend and she has a right to know that you're cheating on her-"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM CRASH YEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWW RATATATATATATATATATA! "HOLY F*CK WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE NOW, COLONEL!" BLAAAAAAAAAAAST BLAST BLAST BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


Sometimes actors are mumbling and for some reason I can't hear them over whatever retarded musical soundtrack is playing. Then I feel like an old person when I turn to my husband and ask, "What are they saying?!"

12 Dec 2012 02:51 PM
make me some tea    [TotalFark]  
WOOHOO

12 Dec 2012 02:52 PM
missmez    [TotalFark]  
Its a pointlessly dicky thing to do and its a shame legislation was required to stop it. Lots of people just have the tube on for background noise and its annoying to bother to stop it.

12 Dec 2012 02:53 PM
sweetmelissa31     
As a protest, subby, you should get off your fat ass and stop watching TV. It's the only way to stop this tyranny.

12 Dec 2012 02:56 PM
unyon    [TotalFark]  

Shostie: I'd like to have the option to level the sound when watching a movie.

Too often I have to strain to hear dialogue and then immediately turn down the TV when sh*t suddenly starts exploding.


This seems to be a pretty common phenomenon. I attribute it to most dialogue coming from the centre channel of 5.1 encoded audio, but only being pushed through stereo speakers. That means that what should be environmental surroundsound (explosions, music) ends up competing with that centre channel.

12 Dec 2012 02:57 PM
Lsherm    [TotalFark]  

Shostie: I'd like to have the option to level the sound when watching a movie.

Too often I have to strain to hear dialogue and then immediately turn down the TV when sh*t suddenly starts exploding.

Example:

"I know, John. This is wrong. I'm your sister's best friend and she has a right to know that you're cheating on her-"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM CRASH YEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWW RATATATATATATATATATA! "HOLY F*CK WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE NOW, COLONEL!" BLAAAAAAAAAAAST BLAST BLAST BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


That was one of my biggest initial problems with surround sound when it came out. Voices would be mixed only through the center front channel but explosions and sound effects would generally be channeled across all three front or all five satellites at once. I eventually got a larger center channel speaker in my living room and adjusted the rest of the satellites at a lower volume, which helped as long as I wasn't watching a movie where the sound director decided to channel voices through the left and right front channels rather than the center.

Thankfully, now I have a Sony receiver that has different modes for output, and one of them is "dialogue" which I leave on all the time. As far as I can tell, it just boosts the center channel output and automatically keeps the rest of the satellites at a lower volume no matter what. It seems to work well for me.

12 Dec 2012 02:58 PM
Lionel Mandrake    [TotalFark]  
I'm sure someone thinks I should be outraged by this.

Someone can suck my ass.

12 Dec 2012 02:58 PM
sweetmelissa31     
j.wigflip.comView Full Size

12 Dec 2012 03:04 PM
MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  

sweetmelissa31: [j.wigflip.com image 468x286]


That TV is missing its penguin

12 Dec 2012 03:09 PM
doyner    [TotalFark]  
INTRUSIVE GOVERNMENT OVER-REACH!!!


Now crank up the volume on that transvaginal ultrasound.

12 Dec 2012 03:09 PM
DarwiOdrade    [TotalFark]  
Can they make it 24/7 instead?

12 Dec 2012 03:10 PM
Jackson Herring     

sweetmelissa31: As a protest, subby, you should get off your fat ass and stop watching TV. It's the only way to stop this tyranny.


Frankly I think it should be legal for commercials to be infinitely loud. Anything less than the sound of a jet aircraft taking off is Omaba Socialism.

12 Dec 2012 03:11 PM
sammyk     
But I got used to Billy Mays telling me it was time to get up off the couch and drag my sorry ass to bed.

12 Dec 2012 03:14 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  
Thanks gods! There is no farking need for commercials to be 30 farking decibels higher than the goddamn show.

12 Dec 2012 03:15 PM
Fark In The Duck    [TotalFark]  
SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!!! GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!!!!! 

Oblig

12 Dec 2012 03:16 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  

sweetmelissa31: As a protest, subby, you should get off your fat ass and stop watching TV. It's the only way to stop this tyranny.


He did use the Hero tag...

12 Dec 2012 03:16 PM
jehovahs witness protection     
Trying to rub one out when the Life Alert commercial comes on and people hear HELP! I'VE FALLEN AND i CAN'T GET UP has left me red faced one too many times.

12 Dec 2012 03:19 PM
Eddie Adams from Torrance    [TotalFark]  
Good.

If it's OK for them to protect me from hearing people say shiat piss fark coont cocksucker motherfarker and tits* then they can can damn well protect me from having to hear commercials that have the volume turned up to 11.

/also fart turd and twat

12 Dec 2012 03:20 PM
scottydoesntknow    [TotalFark]  
The enactment raises a host of questions-for example, what will happen to companies that make "volume leveling adaptors"?

Won't somebody think of the companies that make "volume leveling adaptors"?!?!?!?

12 Dec 2012 03:20 PM
Blues_X    [TotalFark]  

Dancin_In_Anson: Blues_X: Good.

Sorry about your condition.



You can still turn up the volume on commercials if you like.

12 Dec 2012 03:21 PM
Jackson Herring     
j.wigflip.comView Full Size

12 Dec 2012 03:35 PM
The Stealth Hippopotamus    [TotalFark]  
you don't have a tv that will do that for you?

12 Dec 2012 03:37 PM
L.D. Ablo    [TotalFark]  
I only see commercials when watching NCAA football. Otherwise, I only use DVDs, Blu-Ray, AppleTV, and Netflix.

12 Dec 2012 03:42 PM
TommyymmoT    [TotalFark]  

sweetmelissa31: [j.wigflip.com image 468x286]


That's beautiful. +1

12 Dec 2012 03:42 PM
Dancin_In_Anson    [TotalFark]  

Blues_X: You can still turn up the volume on commercials if you like.


Just like I turned them down. How long have you been incapacitated?

The Stealth Hippopotamus: you don't have a tv that will do that for you?


Many have to depend on others to do the simple things in life for them I suppose.

12 Dec 2012 03:43 PM
Lionel Mandrake    [TotalFark]  

Dancin_In_Anson: Blues_X: You can still turn up the volume on commercials if you like.

Just like I turned them down. How long have you been incapacitated?

The Stealth Hippopotamus: you don't have a tv that will do that for you?

Many have to depend on others to do the simple things in life for them I suppose.


You sound oppressed.

12 Dec 2012 03:53 PM
maxalt     
Is there nothing the government won't leave alone I guess the three people without remotes will be helped.

12 Dec 2012 04:01 PM
Dancin_In_Anson    [TotalFark]  

Lionel Mandrake: You sound oppressed.


Capable of doing menial tasks on my own, thanks. Sorry to hear about your affliction. Is it permanent?

12 Dec 2012 04:05 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  

maxalt: Is there nothing the government won't leave alone I guess the three people without remotes will be helped.


Dancin_In_Anson: Many have to depend on others to do the simple things in life for them I suppose.


How's the advertising business been going, guys?

12 Dec 2012 04:15 PM
Elandriel     

Dancin_In_Anson: Lionel Mandrake: You sound oppressed.

Capable of doing menial tasks on my own, thanks. Sorry to hear about your affliction. Is it permanent?


Why do you have to take the antagonist approach to everything? Everything!

Seriously, you shouldn't be required to turn the TV down for commercials -- they should be broadcast at the same damn volume. Golf clap that you're able to, I am able to as well, doesn't mean I enjoy being forced to.

12 Dec 2012 04:19 PM
cman     

Elandriel: Dancin_In_Anson: Lionel Mandrake: You sound oppressed.

Capable of doing menial tasks on my own, thanks. Sorry to hear about your affliction. Is it permanent?

Why do you have to take the antagonist approach to everything? Everything!

Seriously, you shouldn't be required to turn the TV down for commercials -- they should be broadcast at the same damn volume. Golf clap that you're able to, I am able to as well, doesn't mean I enjoy being forced to.


I think his approach is more based upon the absolute simplicity of the action. For instance, if the government can tell you that you cannot have different sound volume between a short film and another, what else can they do? For some it is a matter of principle (principal?)

12 Dec 2012 04:26 PM
Jackson Herring     
Many have to depend on others to do the simple things in life for them I suppose.

This is seriously the funniest thing I've read all week. WOLVERINES!

12 Dec 2012 04:28 PM
maxalt     

CapeFearCadaver: maxalt: Is there nothing the government won't leave alone I guess the three people without remotes will be helped.

Dancin_In_Anson: Many have to depend on others to do the simple things in life for them I suppose.

How's the advertising business been going, guys?


WHAT I CAN"T HEAR YOU!

12 Dec 2012 04:28 PM
Dancin_In_Anson    [TotalFark]  

Elandriel: Seriously, you shouldn't be required to turn the TV down for commercials


You aren't..nor were you ever required to do so.

Elandriel: Why do you have to take the antagonist approach to everything? Everything!


Let's take a look at it from a couple of angles. First off we have a government that is bloated beyond belief. Think about this for a second. We now have what boils down to a Department of Turn That Goddamn Noise Down because it's too farking hard for for my lazy ass to pick up the remote. Of course there must be people to ensure compliance and follow up with enforcement. All added expense all because..well, you're either incapable of or too farking lazy to pick up a farking remote.

Secondly have we as a nation really become that dependent on having someone else live our lives for us? I mean really...My television is too loud at times and I need (yes NEED) someone else to turn it down for me. Where does it stop? What other things do you need done for you?

Chances are you got pissed off at Tipper Gore for trying to keep you from listening to She Bop but this is all good, right/

Want I should go on?

12 Dec 2012 04:37 PM
Blues_X    [TotalFark]  

Dancin_In_Anson: I mean really...My television is too loud at times and I need (yes NEED) someone else to turn it down for me. Where does it stop?



JUST STUDY IT OUT, PEOPLE.

12 Dec 2012 04:38 PM
Lionel Mandrake    [TotalFark]  

Dancin_In_Anson: Lionel Mandrake: No. I can put your whiny ass on ignore at any time.

Knock yourself out. It's a sing of weakness I'm not the one that whined about loud commercials. I'm the one laughing at you for being weak enough to need someone else to turn your tv down.


You're so rugged and strong. When I grow up I want to be just like you.

12 Dec 2012 04:48 PM
Jackson Herring     
MY GOD where does it end? WHERE?? Every single one of Obama's job-killing regulations is like a fart on the tongue of America, and it's just like those libs to enjoy them.

12 Dec 2012 04:48 PM
sweetmelissa31     
j.wigflip.comView Full Size

12 Dec 2012 04:51 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  

maxalt: CapeFearCadaver: maxalt: Is there nothing the government won't leave alone I guess the three people without remotes will be helped.

Dancin_In_Anson: Many have to depend on others to do the simple things in life for them I suppose.

How's the advertising business been going, guys?

WHAT I CAN"T HEAR YOU!


I hold the shift key for CAPS, too.

12 Dec 2012 04:51 PM
russlar     
HI! BILLY MAYS HERE FOR THE MUTE BUTTON!

12 Dec 2012 04:58 PM
Evil Mackerel     

markie_farkie: IT'S ABOUT FARKING TIME THEY ENFORCED THAT!


THIS!

12 Dec 2012 04:59 PM
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