(full site)
Fark.com

Back To Main
   Boxed wine spoils faster than bottled wine, but happily for people who buy it, they can't tell the difference

12 Dec 2012 07:04 PM   |   3784 clicks   |   Huffington Post
Add Comment
Showing 1-50 of 97 comments
Refresh Page 2
View Comments:
Elzar     
Wow it took researchers for this? Plastic bottles/bags are oxygen permeable - color me shocked.

12 Dec 2012 03:58 PM
Reply
DjangoStonereaver    [TotalFark]  
Who keeps box wine around long enough to spoil?

12 Dec 2012 04:05 PM
Reply
Theaetetus    [TotalFark]  
Unopened box wine spoils faster than unopened bottled wine. Opened bottled wine spoils faster than "opened" box wine. In other news, water is wet.

12 Dec 2012 04:06 PM
Reply
Theaetetus    [TotalFark]  

DjangoStonereaver: Who keeps box wine around long enough to spoil?


I think this is basically a response to the "boxes keep wine fresher by not letting additional oxygen in when you pour a glass" which apparently led the researchers to think "durr, I should cellar this box for a few decades and it will be the bestest antique vintage evar."

12 Dec 2012 04:08 PM
Reply
Pocket Ninja    [TotalFark]  
I find it interesting that this article didn't at all get into the angles present in a box, and the very pronounced effect that has upon wine. The real issue, of course, is oxygenation, which speeds up the aging process (this is essentially what you're doing when you decant a bottle of wine, of course -- you're forcing oxygen into i). But, see, angles increases the airflow of oxygen through the wine, because air hits the angle and rebounds. It's similar to the effect you get when walking on a windy day through mid-town Manhattan -- the air whips around the corners of buildings and ends up being even stronger than it would have been otherwise.

Round bottles, on the other hand, move the air more gently through the wine, which in turn slows the aging process. The person who invents a round box -- he's going to be rich.

There are steps you can take, though. One is, as soon as you get your box of wine home, to (gently!) use a hammer to smash down all the corners. Don't strike it hard -- the worst thing you could do here is puncture the cardboard and introduce even more air. Just go along each edge and each corner and give it a few taps to smooth everything out. You'll be adding, potentially, weeks to the wine's lifespan.

Another good option, but perhaps a little more involved, is to put the box in a plastic bag, and then submerge the plastic bag in a tub of water. I cannot emphasize this enough: DO NOT forget the plastic bag. Wine boxes are not waterproof, and if you think oxygen will impact your wine's taste, just wait until you see what water does to it. But by submerging the box of wine in water, you're basically compressing the air, since the water puts equal pressure on all sides of the box. This will increase your wine's lifespan even more than using a hammer to smash the corners; if you combine the two, you could be looking at a 10, 15 year potential.

You could, of course, store the box in a vacuum as well, which would also curb the air flow, but for most people that's not a realistic option.

One final solution, if all else fails and your wine does become oxygenated, is to run it through an shop vac before you serve it. This sound extreme, I know, but it's a little secret used by all the big names in the industry. Extreme suction on the wine will, in effect, pull the oxygen crystals out of the fluid and restore some of its original potency. You won't be able return it to its original state, of course, but you can get it pretty close, especially if you have time to send it through two or three times. One note of caution: BE SURE that that the shop vac is clean. The worst thing you can do is have dust or other debris end up in the wine. One notable exception, of course, is sawdust -- if you've been cutting wood and there's a nice layer of sawdust in the vacuum, this can actually enhance the oak notes of the wine, which can notably improve both the nose and the texture.

A votre sante!

12 Dec 2012 04:09 PM
Reply
FlashHarry    [TotalFark]  

Pocket Ninja: poppycock


genius!

for daily plonk, the bota box shiraz ain't half bad.

12 Dec 2012 04:13 PM
Reply
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat    [TotalFark]  
Just like vodka then. As my Mother say, you can't leave that stuff out or it'll go bad.

12 Dec 2012 04:24 PM
Reply
Spandau    [TotalFark]  
There goes the cardboardeaux.

12 Dec 2012 04:44 PM
Reply
brap    [TotalFark]  
Whateves, I'll still guzzle it.

12 Dec 2012 04:58 PM
Reply
unlikely    [TotalFark]  
Sometimes, potatoes au gratin are appropriate, sometimes fries are appropriate.
Sometimes a well tended 1990 St Julien is appropriate, sometimes that box of Gallo is appropriate.

12 Dec 2012 05:01 PM
Reply
Tr0mBoNe    [TotalFark]  
Damn... I guess those boxes of Costco wine are spoiled. I bought them 5 years ago thinking they'll get better with age.

12 Dec 2012 05:03 PM
Reply
BKITU    [TotalFark]  

FlashHarry: for daily plonk, the bota box shiraz ain't half bad.


Ditto Pinot Evil pinot noir.

12 Dec 2012 05:20 PM
Reply
Theaetetus    [TotalFark]  

unlikely: Sometimes, potatoes au gratin are appropriate, sometimes fries are appropriate.
Sometimes a well tended 1990 St Julien is appropriate, sometimes that box of Gallo is appropriate.


farm8.staticflickr.com
Sometimes you want a Cinnabon with your Veuve Clicquot.

12 Dec 2012 05:23 PM
Reply
catusr    [TotalFark]  
"If you do buy your wine in a box, keep it cool or your investment could be wasted."

My box of wine is not an investment. It will be gone and replaced by Saturday.

12 Dec 2012 05:28 PM
Reply
FlashHarry    [TotalFark]  

BKITU: FlashHarry: for daily plonk, the bota box shiraz ain't half bad.

Ditto Pinot Evil pinot noir.


nice.

i visited my very refined stepmother in switzerland a couple of years ago and was surprised when she got some wine from a box in the cupboard (this is a woman who was raised on cheval blanc). it was actually really good. it caused me to reconsider my snobishness, and i'm glad i did.

12 Dec 2012 05:33 PM
Reply
blatz514    [TotalFark]  
You rich kids and your boxed wine. Gimme this any day!

static.flickr.com

/Love me some ALDI

12 Dec 2012 05:35 PM
Reply
Snarfangel     

Theaetetus: Unopened box wine spoils faster than unopened bottled wine. Opened bottled wine spoils faster than "opened" box wine. In other news, water is wet.


Water comes pre-spoiled. Also, fish pee in it.

12 Dec 2012 05:45 PM
Reply
TheBeastOfYuccaFlats    [TotalFark]  

DjangoStonereaver: Who keeps box wine around long enough to spoil?


12 Dec 2012 06:03 PM
Reply
DjangoStonereaver    [TotalFark]  

Theaetetus: unlikely: Sometimes, potatoes au gratin are appropriate, sometimes fries are appropriate.
Sometimes a well tended 1990 St Julien is appropriate, sometimes that box of Gallo is appropriate.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 850x564]
Sometimes you want a Cinnabon with your Veuve Clicquot.


Looks like SOMEONE'S gettin' somethin' tonight.....

Seriously: I know many women for whom that picture represents a perfect evening.

12 Dec 2012 06:21 PM
Reply
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  

unlikely: Sometimes, potatoes au gratin are appropriate, sometimes fries are appropriate.
Sometimes a well tended 1990 St Julien is appropriate, sometimes that box of Gallo is appropriate.


I'm happy just as long as it doesn't taste like orange drink fermented under a radiator.

12 Dec 2012 06:56 PM
Reply
Chariset    [TotalFark]  

Pocket Ninja: I find it interesting that this article didn't at all get into the angles present in a box, and the very pronounced effect that has upon wine.

..

I am shamed to admit that I was most of the way through that, thinking "oh, really?" before I realized who was writing.

12 Dec 2012 07:01 PM
Reply
Krymson Tyde     
Aren't you supposed to butt chug the stuff as soon as you get it home?

12 Dec 2012 07:04 PM
Reply
Dee Snarl     

Spandau: There goes the cardboardeaux.


Ah yeah, stealing that...

12 Dec 2012 07:09 PM
Reply
skinink     
This article is funny only because I imagine anyone who buys wine in a box couldn't care less if it's going to spoil faster than bottled wine. If they were serious about their wine, they wouldn't buy it in a box.

12 Dec 2012 07:14 PM
Reply
Baz the Spaz     
Mrs. Spaz goes through a five liter box of wine so fast
it doesn't have time to spoil.

morellismarket.com

12 Dec 2012 07:16 PM
Reply
Molavian    [TotalFark]  

Snarfangel: Theaetetus: Unopened box wine spoils faster than unopened bottled wine. Opened bottled wine spoils faster than "opened" box wine. In other news, water is wet.

Water comes pre-spoiled. Also, fish pee in it.


Fish f*ck in it. Jesus, you want to drink fish spooge?

12 Dec 2012 07:20 PM
Reply
dutchmang     
I'm a beer snob (hoppy IPAs FTW) but couldn't care less about wine. It all tastes like bad grape juice.

You DO know the bottle costs the vintner more than the contents right?

12 Dec 2012 07:22 PM
Reply
idsfa     

skinink: This article is funny only because I imagine anyone who buys wine in a box couldn't care less if it's going to spoil faster than bottled wine. If they were serious about their wine, they wouldn't buy it in a box.


The flaw in your logic is the assumption that I am buying the box for myself. It's like the opposite of guest towels. 

/Bota's Malbec is perfect for a pizza party

12 Dec 2012 07:23 PM
Reply
Mega Steve     

Molavian: Snarfangel: Theaetetus: Unopened box wine spoils faster than unopened bottled wine. Opened bottled wine spoils faster than "opened" box wine. In other news, water is wet.

Water comes pre-spoiled. Also, fish pee in it.

Fish f*ck in it. Jesus, you want to drink fish spooge?


In a world where people eat pickled fish eggs and drink coffee that has been "reclaimed" from animal shiat, anything is possible.

12 Dec 2012 07:23 PM
Reply
Indubitably     
To bwine?

12 Dec 2012 07:24 PM
Reply
marfar     
Yeah, that's why boxes have expiration dates on them.

12 Dec 2012 07:24 PM
Reply
DownDaRiver    [TotalFark]  
Does this go along with the 'Because it Farking Delicious' article below?

12 Dec 2012 07:24 PM
Reply
catmandu    [TotalFark]  

blatz514: You rich kids and your boxed wine. Gimme this any day!

/Love me some ALDI


Beats Two Buck Chuck any day.



FlashHarry: Pocket Ninja: poppycock

genius!

for daily plonk, the bota box shiraz ain't half bad.


Their Old Vine Zinfandel is even better.

12 Dec 2012 07:25 PM
Reply
here to help     
Open it, stick it in the fridge, take a few glurgles everyday or so and STFU.

12 Dec 2012 07:26 PM
Reply
StoPPeRmobile     
Glass bottles. As Jesus intended.
www.ghettowine.com

12 Dec 2012 07:26 PM
Reply
jtown     
Boxed wine spoils faster than bottled wine...

How can they tell it's spoiled?

12 Dec 2012 07:29 PM
Reply
thisispete    [TotalFark]  

catusr: "If you do buy your wine in a box, keep it cool or your investment could be wasted."

My box of wine is not an investment. It will be gone and replaced by Saturday.


There used to be the same kind of resistance to screw caps (although they were an improvement for the wine). But the market, especially here in New Zealand, has overwhelmingly shifted to them. The vast majority of wine is consumed within a few days of purchase. I don't buy box wine myself, but if you're having a sizable party or a barbecue, then box wine could make sense. It's easier to clean up afterwards, you don't risk breakage and after the first glass or two, who really cares?

12 Dec 2012 07:30 PM
Reply
DaCaptain19     

StoPPeRmobile: Glass bottles. As Jesus intended.
[www.ghettowine.com image 300x263]


What?! No purple?!

12 Dec 2012 07:31 PM
Reply
Forbidden Doughnut    [TotalFark]  

blatz514: You rich kids and your boxed wine. Gimme this any day!

[static.flickr.com image 240x180]

/Love me some ALDI


That's Trader Joe's without the pretension, right? Same parent company, IIRC....

/ Grocery Outlet here in the PNW is my goto place for cheap wine and beer...

12 Dec 2012 07:33 PM
Reply
Boudica's War Tampon     

Snarfangel: Theaetetus: Unopened box wine spoils faster than unopened bottled wine. Opened bottled wine spoils faster than "opened" box wine. In other news, water is wet.

Water comes pre-spoiled. Also, fish pee in it.


Luxury.

12 Dec 2012 07:34 PM
Reply
here to help     

jtown: Boxed wine spoils faster than bottled wine...

How can they tell it's spoiled?


They aren't even talking about it spoiling. They're talking about how it ages. Essentially... they are fancy froo froo poncy f*cks. If I want high class grape piss to impress a chick I'll buy a bottle. If I want something cheap to slurp on I'll stick to a box... or subby's mom's vajeener.

12 Dec 2012 07:35 PM
Reply
VTGremlin     
Gimme a box o' Franzia Chablis any day. It's quite tolerable.

12 Dec 2012 07:35 PM
Reply
dopekitty74     

Pocket Ninja: I find it interesting that this article didn't at all get into the angles present in a box, and the very pronounced effect that has upon wine. The real issue, of course, is oxygenation, which speeds up the aging process (this is essentially what you're doing when you decant a bottle of wine, of course -- you're forcing oxygen into i). But, see, angles increases the airflow of oxygen through the wine, because air hits the angle and rebounds. It's similar to the effect you get when walking on a windy day through mid-town Manhattan -- the air whips around the corners of buildings and ends up being even stronger than it would have been otherwise.

Round bottles, on the other hand, move the air more gently through the wine, which in turn slows the aging process. The person who invents a round box -- he's going to be rich.

There are steps you can take, though. One is, as soon as you get your box of wine home, to (gently!) use a hammer to smash down all the corners. Don't strike it hard -- the worst thing you could do here is puncture the cardboard and introduce even more air. Just go along each edge and each corner and give it a few taps to smooth everything out. You'll be adding, potentially, weeks to the wine's lifespan.

Another good option, but perhaps a little more involved, is to put the box in a plastic bag, and then submerge the plastic bag in a tub of water. I cannot emphasize this enough: DO NOT forget the plastic bag. Wine boxes are not waterproof, and if you think oxygen will impact your wine's taste, just wait until you see what water does to it. But by submerging the box of wine in water, you're basically compressing the air, since the water puts equal pressure on all sides of the box. This will increase your wine's lifespan even more than using a hammer to smash the corners; if you combine the two, you could be looking at a 10, 15 year potential.

You could, of course, store the box in a vacuum as well, which would also curb the air flow, but for most people that's not a realistic option.

One final solution, if all else fails and your wine does become oxygenated, is to run it through an shop vac before you serve it. This sound extreme, I know, but it's a little secret used by all the big names in the industry. Extreme suction on the wine will, in effect, pull the oxygen crystals out of the fluid and restore some of its original potency. You won't be able return it to its original state, of course, but you can get it pretty close, especially if you have time to send it through two or three times. One note of caution: BE SURE that that the shop vac is clean. The worst thing you can do is have dust or other debris end up in the wine. One notable exception, of course, is sawdust -- if you've been cutting wood and there's a nice layer of sawdust in the vacuum, this can actually enhance the oak notes of the wine, which can notably improve both the nose and the texture.

A votre sante!


Heh.. At first I thought you were serious (didn't see the username at first) but when i got to the shop vac, i was like.. Ummm...

I hit reply, then noticed who I was replying to, and well...

Nice one!

12 Dec 2012 07:38 PM
Reply
2BuckChuck     
"If you do buy your wine in a box, keep it cool or your investment could be wasted."

You invest in stocks and bonds, you consume box wine from a 32 ounce plastic cup from 7-11

/or hold over your head and point the spigot in your mouth, to each their own

12 Dec 2012 07:38 PM
Reply
StoPPeRmobile     

DaCaptain19: StoPPeRmobile: Glass bottles. As Jesus intended.
[www.ghettowine.com image 300x263]

What?! No purple?!


The purple ruins the technicolor effect of the projection.

12 Dec 2012 07:39 PM
Reply
dumbobruni     
boxed wine?

mix it with coca-cola.

12 Dec 2012 07:40 PM
Reply
Indubitably     

StoPPeRmobile: Glass bottles. As Jesus intended.
[www.ghettowine.com image 300x263]

To ew


12 Dec 2012 07:41 PM
Reply
2BuckChuck     

catmandu: blatz514: You rich kids and your boxed wine. Gimme this any day!

/Love me some ALDI

Beats Two Buck Chuck any day.


Lies. I defeat box wine every time it comes into my home.

12 Dec 2012 07:41 PM
Reply
wildcardjack     
As far as I'm concerned they're both examples of spoiled grape juice.

12 Dec 2012 07:41 PM
Reply
LeafyGreens     

dumbobruni: boxed wine?

mix it with coca-cola.


We used to call that a "Gentleman's Cocktail."

12 Dec 2012 07:43 PM
Reply
Showing 1-50 of 97 comments
Refresh Page 2
View Comments:
This thread is closed to new comments.


Back To Main

More Headlines:
Main | Sports | Business | Geek | Entertainment | Politics | Video | FarkUs | Contests | Fark Party | Combined