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   If you're reading this while at work, watch out: Doing so could someday become a federal offense

12 Dec 2012 07:33 PM   |   18869 clicks   |   Newser
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Makh    [TotalFark]  
That's what your phone is for. And don't connect to their wireless. I mean if I was to do such a thing, which I do not.

12 Dec 2012 04:14 PM
Lucky LaRue    [TotalFark]  
I wonder if you could argue that, by not blocking (for example) Fark.com, the company is giving implicit permission for its staff to waste an entire day arguing with dumb-asses on the politics tab?

12 Dec 2012 04:50 PM
trivial use of my dark powers     

Lucky LaRue: I wonder if you could argue that, by not blocking (for example) Fark.com, the company is giving implicit permission for its staff to waste an entire day arguing with dumb-asses on the politics tab?


itsatrap.jpg

12 Dec 2012 04:56 PM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  
If I couldn't read Fark at work, I would probably go on a murder spree on my co-workers. Those insufferable bastads drive me crazy.

Plus being a state employee, how else am I going to waste my time?

12 Dec 2012 05:33 PM
Gordian Cipher    [TotalFark]  
Fark's not blocked at my work. Some of the admins must be Farkers.

/I tunnel all my non-work-related traffic anyway, just in case

12 Dec 2012 05:44 PM
Apos     
*looking over shoulder*

Nah.....I'm good.

12 Dec 2012 05:50 PM
TheBeastOfYuccaFlats    [TotalFark]  

blatz514: If I couldn't read Fark at work, I would probably go on a murder spree on my co-workers. Those insufferable bastads drive me crazy.

Plus being a state employee, how else am I going to waste my time?


I've often wondered what sort of fresh hell office work was before the Internet was available.

12 Dec 2012 06:12 PM
Bontesla     

Makh: That's what your phone is for. And don't connect to their wireless. I mean if I was to do such a thing, which I do not.


Nailed it.

12 Dec 2012 06:25 PM
Godscrack     
Not Safe For Work will be so 2012.

12 Dec 2012 06:44 PM
Eddie Adams from Torrance    [TotalFark]  
Reading Newser stories anywhere should be a federal offense.

12 Dec 2012 06:45 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  
a hypothetical broad interpretation of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act-an interpretation that could make it illegal for employees to violate their companies' computer policies.

First part of sentence: yeah, exactly.

Second part: even if broad hypothetical became fruition.. I'd still be cool at my company.

/I got mine, fark you, biatches!

/yay, found the right thread!

12 Dec 2012 07:32 PM
Indubitably     
To criminalize textual mind/speech. A good idea?

No. Is this America?

12 Dec 2012 07:35 PM
Omahawg     
The only one who will suffer are fans of fark boobie threads

/at work

/fark the man!

12 Dec 2012 07:36 PM
Indubitably     

Indubitably: To criminalize textual mind/speech. A good idea?

No. Is this America?


Quit Criminalizing America, Please; Thank You. QCAP. TY.

12 Dec 2012 07:36 PM
vudukungfu     
When the slackers who rate worse than I do and don't Fark at work catch up to me, I'll worry.
Until then, any macrocdata should point to Farking at work = excellent performance.

12 Dec 2012 07:37 PM
That Guy...From That Show!     
That article is total crap

FTA:some appeal courts have already ruled that things like accessing social media constitute a violation of CFAA, but the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals recently took a narrower interpretation of the law in a case involving the employee of an executive recruiting firm who was trying to set up a competing business.

That's quite different than reading an article.

12 Dec 2012 07:38 PM
wildcardjack     
If your hours are billable to a DoD project it already is.

12 Dec 2012 07:38 PM
Gyrfalcon    [TotalFark]  
If you're reading this while at work, watch out: Doing so could someday become a federal offense, LiveScience reports.

And if my aunt someday had a sex-change operation she could hypothetically become my uncle, too.

12 Dec 2012 07:40 PM
skinink     

Makh: That's what your phone is for. And don't connect to their wireless. I mean if I was to do such a thing, which I do not.


The sad thing is in my office the ATT reception is spotty. But it's still good enough for me to do everything I want on my phone. I'm amazed at how many people use their work computers to shop online send out personal emails, etc. One guy had so many personal emails that when he left the company he asked IT to save his personal emails to a DVD and mail it to him. The IT people were irritated with him because it was gigs of email data they had to get but he wasn't even working for us anymore.

But my job isn't all that bad, when I consider the time I somehow accidentally emailed my boss a two girls one cup link. She had no idea what she was looking at, but she did not fire me. Just gave me a serious talking to.

12 Dec 2012 07:41 PM
Deep Contact     
They make me look at Fark at work.

12 Dec 2012 07:43 PM
Communist_Manifesto     

vudukungfu: When the slackers who rate worse than I do and don't Fark at work catch up to me, I'll worry.
Until then, any macrocdata should point to Farking at work = excellent performance.


This. I've always wondered how I could read news and fark 50% of my day and be orders of magnitude more productive than everyone else. I'm an amazing wage slave

12 Dec 2012 07:45 PM
Indubitably     

Communist_Manifesto: vudukungfu: When the slackers who rate worse than I do and don't Fark at work catch up to me, I'll worry.
Until then, any macrocdata should point to Farking at work = excellent performance.

This. I've always wondered how I could read news and fark 50% of my day and be orders of magnitude more productive than everyone else. I'm an amazing wage slave


No, youse suck.

If the American engine can afford your slackery, then it can afford your falls too...

*)

12 Dec 2012 07:48 PM
red5ish     
Well, I just looked up "two girls one cup" and let me just agree with your boss. You need a serious talking to.

12 Dec 2012 07:50 PM
Indubitably     

Indubitably: Communist_Manifesto: vudukungfu: When the slackers who rate worse than I do and don't Fark at work catch up to me, I'll worry.
Until then, any macrocdata should point to Farking at work = excellent performance.

This. I've always wondered how I could read news and fark 50% of my day and be orders of magnitude more productive than everyone else. I'm an amazing wage slave

No, youse suck.

If the American engine can afford your slackery, then it can afford your falls too...

*)


P.S. People are unemployed and wanting to do anything professional, and this/these is/are your exemplar(s), lead by example moment(s)? Way to be professional(s).

12 Dec 2012 07:50 PM
DerAppie     

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: blatz514: If I couldn't read Fark at work, I would probably go on a murder spree on my co-workers. Those insufferable bastads drive me crazy.

Plus being a state employee, how else am I going to waste my time?

I've often wondered what sort of fresh hell office work was before the Internet was available.


Whisky, cigars and secretaries.

/no expansive harassment laws

12 Dec 2012 07:50 PM
Indubitably     

red5ish: Well, I just looked up "two girls one cup" and let me just agree with your boss. You need a serious talking to.

To misapply resources


12 Dec 2012 07:51 PM
Indubitably     

Deep Contact: They make me look at Fark at work.

To Deep


12 Dec 2012 07:53 PM
Balchinian     
Dear FCC:
I am a self-employed business attorney, who caught myself surfing Facebook while at work last year. I hired myself to sue myself, and won, but decided against firing myself because I didn't want to risk a counter-suit. I still won a substantial cash judgment however. The problem is that the award was more than I had and it bankrupted me. So I had to file bankruptcy, and now my wages are garnisheed and a substantial portion of my paychecks are sent to myself every week to satisfy the judgment against me. Understandably, my bank was very confused at first, with money transferring back and forth from account to account all week long. I explained it to them and they seem to be satisfied that nothing illegal is going on. With the constant bank activity and positive balances, my credit rating (previously in the tank as a result of the bankruptcy) has shot back up to over 860...higher than it was before suing myself! So I just thought I would take a moment to write and say thanks on behalf of lawyers everywhere. This piece of legislation will keep us in the catbird seat for many years to come.

Sincerely,
A. Shyster, attorney

12 Dec 2012 07:54 PM
way south     

Indubitably: To criminalize textual mind/speech. A good idea?

No. Is this America?


The founding fathers couldn't have had any idea of how pervasive technology would become in the centuries after their deaths.
The ideal of free speech, association or privacy in your affairs is therefore as outdated as is the idea of keeping paper records.

/Too much?
/Criminalizing isn't the problem. Criminalizing based on what some un-elected nameless corporate imp wrote into the policy, that's the problem.

12 Dec 2012 07:55 PM
Ryker's Peninsula     
At first they came for the Facebookers, and I did not speak out-- because I did not have an account.
Then they came for the Twitterers, and I did not speak out-- because screw those guys.
Then they came for the Farkers, and I was like: "What the hell took you so long?!"

12 Dec 2012 07:55 PM
vudukungfu     

Indubitably: P.S. People are unemployed and wanting to do anything professional, and this/these is/are your exemplar(s), lead by example moment(s)? Way to be professional(s).


You mean bloggers?
Writers of short vignettes?
LIke guy de maupassant?

They get recognized only years later.

12 Dec 2012 08:00 PM
fatassbastard    [TotalFark]  
Thank goodness I don't work for a company run by a bunch of arseholes.

12 Dec 2012 08:01 PM
BitwiseShift     
Of course if the business owner is laundering money, criminally sexually harrassing every female employee in the place or spending all the bandwidth download porn, there may be another reason he doesn't want employees sharing with anyone on the net.

12 Dec 2012 08:02 PM
BeerGraduate     
farm9.staticflickr.comView Full Size

12 Dec 2012 08:02 PM
Indubitably     

way south: Indubitably: To criminalize textual mind/speech. A good idea?

No. Is this America?

The founding fathers couldn't have had any idea of how pervasive technology would become in the centuries after their deaths.
The ideal of free speech, association or privacy in your affairs is therefore as outdated as is the idea of keeping paper records.

/Too much?
/Criminalizing isn't the problem. Criminalizing based on what some un-elected nameless corporate imp wrote into the policy, that's the problem.


Supposedly.

12 Dec 2012 08:03 PM
Indubitably     

vudukungfu: Indubitably: P.S. People are unemployed and wanting to do anything professional, and this/these is/are your exemplar(s), lead by example moment(s)? Way to be professional(s).

You mean bloggers?
Writers of short vignettes?
LIke guy de maupassant?

They get recognized only years later.


No, I mean everybody.

12 Dec 2012 08:04 PM
Indubitably     

Indubitably: way south: Indubitably: To criminalize textual mind/speech. A good idea?

No. Is this America?

The founding fathers couldn't have had any idea of how pervasive technology would become in the centuries after their deaths.
The ideal of free speech, association or privacy in your affairs is therefore as outdated as is the idea of keeping paper records.

/Too much?
/Criminalizing isn't the problem. Criminalizing based on what some un-elected nameless corporate imp wrote into the policy, that's the problem.

Supposedly.


//Yes, yes, why yes, criminalizing is exactly the problem.

12 Dec 2012 08:06 PM
Warlordtrooper     
The only thing this "article" is good for is the link to the Anne Hathaway wardrobe malfunction at the end.

12 Dec 2012 08:10 PM
jtown     

Makh: That's what your phone is for. And don't connect to their wireless. I mean if I was to do such a thing, which I do not.


Heck, I brought my own laptop and tethered to my phone. First EDGE, then 3G. Then I got a WiMax hotpsot from Clear. There's no reason to be mixing personal and business stuff.

12 Dec 2012 08:11 PM
crotchgrabber     
Hell, I show my boss some of the insane shiat fark links to. He loves it.

/Off to use the company stamp machine.
//Christmas cards ain't gonna mail themselves.

12 Dec 2012 08:11 PM
machodonkeywrestler     
Ahh, the talking point in article form.

12 Dec 2012 08:13 PM
storm16     
You know, you really can't expect workers to be completely focused for 8 hours a day. You need a mental break. I work in the IT field, and you have to give your employees some "mental floss" time. Otherwise, they would burn out much more quickly. After all, don't doctors say you should take a few mintes break every hour?

It's like, for example, suing an employee who does physical labor for stopping to stretch his back or work out a cramp or whatever. That said, I don't condone people who slack off the entire day. I remember when I was a contractor for a government agency, they were hell on contractors. But there was a government employee in the cube across from me who daily would come in, read his newspaper, go to a 2 hr lunch, then come back and nap until time to go home.

Hopefully, it won't gain much traction, as the first few companies who try it will find that they have trouble hiring and retaining employees.

12 Dec 2012 08:13 PM
KStDrew     

Indubitably: To criminalize textual mind/speech. A good idea?

No. Is this America?


24.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

12 Dec 2012 08:13 PM
Nem Wan     
What job creators really need to compete is a catch-all statute that criminalizes any violation of company policy or failure to follow a supervisor's instructions. You do what your boss tells you do to or you go to prison. Combine that with ending welfare and criminalizing homelessness, and profitably utilizing the labor resources of the prison population, and we can end all the taking and get back to making.

12 Dec 2012 08:14 PM
Indubitably     

KStDrew: Indubitably: To criminalize textual mind/speech. A good idea?

No. Is this America?

[24.media.tumblr.com image 400x308]


I don't speak South Park, and they certainly don't pay me either...

*)

12 Dec 2012 08:16 PM
ggecko     

Makh: That's what your phone is for. And don't connect to their wireless. I mean if I was to do such a thing, which I do not.


Or maybe when you are at work you actually do what you are paid to do and work??

12 Dec 2012 08:21 PM
ArcadianRefugee     
Anyone who does personal stuff on a work computer is asking for trouble, simply because not only can they see that you are checking your email, they can read your email.

Use your smartphone, dammit.

12 Dec 2012 08:21 PM
Koodz     

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: blatz514: If I couldn't read Fark at work, I would probably go on a murder spree on my co-workers. Those insufferable bastads drive me crazy.

Plus being a state employee, how else am I going to waste my time?

I've often wondered what sort of fresh hell office work was before the Internet was available.


Having worked in a Japanese office, I don't have to wonder.

You just type...things...all day. And stare at them. If you're done, maybe you delete it all and type it again. It is, indeed, hell. Some days you might find yourself looking forward to the morning recital of the company motto as a change of pace.

12 Dec 2012 08:24 PM
ronaprhys     

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: blatz514: If I couldn't read Fark at work, I would probably go on a murder spree on my co-workers. Those insufferable bastads drive me crazy.

Plus being a state employee, how else am I going to waste my time?

I've often wondered what sort of fresh hell office work was before the Internet was available.


We found different ways to dick around. That's what employees do.

12 Dec 2012 08:25 PM
untaken_name     

ArcadianRefugee: Anyone who does personal stuff on a work computer is asking for trouble, simply because not only can they see that you are checking your email, they can read your email.

Use your smartphone, dammit.


No, go next-level instead. Don't use the work computer for your real, boring, insipid, worthless email. Use it for fake boring, insipid, worthless email that makes you look like a pro-company terrific worker.
"Sorry Mom, no time to talk now, got to finish that big project ahead of time!"

12 Dec 2012 08:25 PM
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