What else is there to do precisely in Iowa?

Though their website is hilarious. The pig suits are inspired.

I am more impressed with Iowa's swine related and celebrated food-stuff processes than I am with Iowa's swine related and celebrated political-stuff processes.

Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfarker. Pigs sleep and root in shiat. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.

A chicken and a pig strike up a conversation. The chicken says, "I love the farmer. Everyday he comes out and brings us food and every night he gives us a place to sleep."

The pig nods in agreement and says, "We should do something nice for him."

Chicken perks up, "I've got it! We'll make him breakfast. How does Bacon and Eggs sound?"

The pig looks at the chicken, "I cannot agree to that. For you it is only a small sacrifice, but for me it would be total commitment."

This is how it is with Jesus and you. Maybe you can inconvenience yourself every now and then and think you are serving the Lord. But unless you're willing to make a full commitment, how can you say you truly love the Lord?

I read that as, "Pabst Blue Ribbon Festival" and stared in horror.

AverageAmericanGuy: A chicken and a pig strike up a conversation. The chicken says, "I love the farmer. Everyday he comes out and brings us food and every night he gives us a place to sleep."

The pig nods in agreement and says, "We should do something nice for him."

Chicken perks up, "I've got it! We'll make him breakfast. How does Bacon and Eggs sound?"

The pig looks at the chicken, "I cannot agree to that. For you it is only a small sacrifice, but for me it would be total commitment."

This is how it is with Jesus and you. Maybe you can inconvenience yourself every now and then and think you are serving the Lord. But unless you're willing to make a full commitment, how can you say you truly love the Lord?

So...I have to eat an entire pig, and then Jesus will love me?

Well, I guess if it's for eternal salvation...

I'm just trying to clear up my misunderstanding about religions and piggys but, the old testament said not to eat swine because it was unclean blah blah... but then baby Jesus appeared and said fark all those old laws pass the bacon right?

As a kid in Nebraska, I worked in a large scale indoor hog barn system for a couple of summers. The had a poster in the locker room (had to shower going in and out) that showed two pigs laying in a bed, smoking, having just had sex. It read: Makin' Bacon.

It was funny. I would see it every day when I went in. And then I would go castrate a couple of hundred barrows or maybe help put down and clean up a sow suffering a vaginal, or rectal, prolapse. Maybe I'd help the "hand man" as he helped guide these long, corkscrew boar dicks into sows in the breeding barn. And when the pig farking was over, maybe we'd use some bolt cutters to give dental care to boars. Or stoke the incinerator with a wheelbarrow full of barrows from the nursery. Maybe that day would end with one of my co-workers getting me with a prod as I showered out. Or get to experience any number of other mind numbingly horrific things on any given day.

And I love pork.

Especially good bacon.

Insatiable Jesus: As a kid in Nebraska, I worked in a large scale indoor hog barn system for a couple of summers. The had a poster in the locker room (had to shower going in and out) that showed two pigs laying in a bed, smoking, having just had sex. It read: Makin' Bacon.

It was funny. I would see it every day when I went in. And then I would go castrate a couple of hundred barrows or maybe help put down and clean up a sow suffering a vaginal, or rectal, prolapse. Maybe I'd help the "hand man" as he helped guide these long, corkscrew boar dicks into sows in the breeding barn. And when the pig farking was over, maybe we'd use some bolt cutters to give dental care to boars. Or stoke the incinerator with a wheelbarrow full of barrows from the nursery. Maybe that day would end with one of my co-workers getting me with a prod as I showered out. Or get to experience any number of other mind numbingly horrific things on any given day.

And I love pork.

Especially good bacon.

I think I pointed this out in another thread

fark you, subby, you don't get no bacon. you get turkey bacon. no pork queen for you either. you get, er, turkey bacon queen!

Alunan: What else is there to do precisely in Iowa?

I write, read lots, raise kids, go to work, drink beer, and like to garden.

what the fark do you do, smartypants?

They have a bacon eating contest? That actually sounds dangerous to me. How many pieces of bacon could an average sized adult eat without getting sodium overload? A woman died from a water drinking contest at a radio station. I would think that quickly ingesting a contest winning amount of such a salty foodstuff would just be begging for trouble.

Omahawg: Alunan: What else is there to do precisely in Iowa?

I write, read lots, raise kids, go to work, drink beer, and like to garden.

what the fark do you do, smartypants?

Um, while not meaning to I think you've just reinforced his attitude.
This can only end poorly.

Just wanted to get in the middle for only a moment - annnnd I'm outta here 

In other news, just like all events where tickets are sold online, 98% of the tickets were sold to a reseller and will be hawked for well over double the cost.

Best bacon in the world

I'm eating bacon right now, so I'm getting a kick....

/nuked it a bit too long tho
//burned bacon is still better than no bacon...

Marcintosh: Omahawg: Alunan: What else is there to do precisely in Iowa?

I write, read lots, raise kids, go to work, drink beer, and like to garden.

what the fark do you do, smartypants?

Um, while not meaning to I think you've just reinforced his attitude.
This can only end poorly.

Just wanted to get in the middle for only a moment - annnnd I'm outta here

I don't have to commute 2 hours to work. I don't have to pay at least $8.00 for everything. I don't have to worry about getting stabbed by some jibbering vagrant at the mall. Iowa is really horrible and none of you should consider moving here.

Insatiable Jesus: As a kid in Nebraska, I worked in a large scale indoor hog barn system for a couple of summers. The had a poster in the locker room (had to shower going in and out) that showed two pigs laying in a bed, smoking, having just had sex. It read: Makin' Bacon.

It was funny. I would see it every day when I went in. And then I would go castrate a couple of hundred barrows or maybe help put down and clean up a sow suffering a vaginal, or rectal, prolapse. Maybe I'd help the "hand man" as he helped guide these long, corkscrew boar dicks into sows in the breeding barn. And when the pig farking was over, maybe we'd use some bolt cutters to give dental care to boars. Or stoke the incinerator with a wheelbarrow full of barrows from the nursery. Maybe that day would end with one of my co-workers getting me with a prod as I showered out. Or get to experience any number of other mind numbingly horrific things on any given day.

And I love pork.

Especially good bacon.

Wow...that story almost put me off bacon for good!

Almost