(full site)
Fark.com

Back To Main
   If you're tired of your home being constantly vandalized and you suspect it's being done by someone next door, you could have mature, calm, frank conversation with the head of the household. Or you could show up at his door armed with a machete

13 Dec 2012 11:09 AM   |   3562 clicks   |   Kitsap Sun
Showing 1-36 of 36 comments
Refresh
Generation_D    [TotalFark]  
Hey, he could have brought a gun.

13 Dec 2012 08:29 AM
Sybarite    [TotalFark]  
It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for.

www.pcgaming-forum.comView Full Size

13 Dec 2012 08:42 AM
Snarfangel    [TotalFark]  
If your home is constantly vandalized, just wait until the next time. "I'm sorry, officer, he was on my property, and held something in his hand in a threatening manner. I feared for my life! How was I to know he was spray-painting graffiti?" 

Or you could put up a surveillance camera, like a normal person.

13 Dec 2012 08:42 AM
Endive Wombat    [TotalFark]  

Snarfangel: If your home is constantly vandalized, just wait until the next time. "I'm sorry, officer, he was on my property, and held something in his hand in a threatening manner. I feared for my life! How was I to know he was spray-painting graffiti?" 

Or you could put up a surveillance camera, like a normal person.


Buttttt....buttt...bbbbbuuuutttt....v igilante justice!

13 Dec 2012 09:51 AM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  
The neighbors attempted to slam the door on the man, but he reportedly put his foot into the door holding it open, police said. The neighbors were ultimately able to close it, though the suspect denies he put his foot in the door.

www.idioms4you.comView Full Size

13 Dec 2012 11:13 AM
LesserEvil    [TotalFark]  
i.imgur.comView Full Size

"Could somebody care to explain why I'm here?"

13 Dec 2012 11:15 AM
cgraves67     
I know which one I'd go with. Machetes are awesome.

13 Dec 2012 11:16 AM
Fark Rye For Many Whores     
www.filmofilia.comView Full Size

I'd be pretty pissed if you wanted to watch a Lindsay Lohan movie too.

/what kind of fool do you think I am
//neighborino?

13 Dec 2012 11:17 AM
Clemkadidlefark     
If you don't go machete, you will never get respect

13 Dec 2012 11:17 AM
antrat00     
Guy was dumb for going over there with a machete.
Should've waited until three in the morning and slashed their tires.
That vandalism shiat would stop real soon.
Trust me.

13 Dec 2012 11:19 AM
Superjew     
Let's see now: Kitsap County, machete, neighbor dispute. I'll take Meth for $500, Bob.

13 Dec 2012 11:20 AM
Cold_Sassy     
Stupid people. Don't ever open the door unless you know who is out there. Almost deserved what they almost got.

13 Dec 2012 11:21 AM
megarian    [TotalFark]  

Superjew: Let's see now: Kitsap County, machete, neighbor dispute. I'll take Meth for $500, Bob.


This. Yes, this.

13 Dec 2012 11:21 AM
2BuckChuck     
Problem Solver:

www.joystickdivision.comView Full Size


/Works on barking dogs, pesky neighbors ... zombies too!

13 Dec 2012 11:24 AM
Ohlookabutterfly     
Wow the definition of assault sure has taken a shiat kicking by the pc crowd, eh? I was in court once testifying in support of aquaintance' character when the opposing lawyer tried to use hearsay against me that someone I had a verbal disagreement with said I "looked like I was going to hit him", so naturally I asked the lawyer how it appears when it looks like I am going to hit someone when I am standing still with my arms at my side running my mouth. She tried to pull out the definition of assault but the judge stopped her with a reprimand for wasting my and the courts' time. If I remember correctly I also had to ask what it looks like when I "almost hit him". Is that like "almost raping someone"? Can we now be jailed for "perceived intent"?

13 Dec 2012 11:27 AM
dittybopper    [TotalFark]  
Howdy neighbor. Let's have a frank discussion. Have you met my machete? I call him "Frank".

13 Dec 2012 11:27 AM
offmymeds     
Why couldn't you do both? Have a calm, mature discussion using the machete as a talking point.

13 Dec 2012 11:30 AM
abhorrent1     
I'll go with the machete.

13 Dec 2012 11:33 AM
Ohlookabutterfly     

offmymeds: Why couldn't you do both? Have a calm, mature discussion using the machete as a talking point.


My last ex-gf said she and her husband were in therapy and the mediator made them use a "talking feather" and the one holding it had the floor. I think a "talking machete" would be soooo much more effective in ensuring you are not interrupted. HASSAN CHOP!

13 Dec 2012 11:33 AM
Sultan Of Herf     
Its the Latino way?

13 Dec 2012 11:37 AM
DownDaRiver     
Actually if it weren't for the whole possibilty of getting arrested part.
A machete is quite the "I mean business" tool.

13 Dec 2012 11:42 AM
hasty ambush    [TotalFark]  
Showing up with a machete was dumb but I really thin that the last thing a person who is constantly vandalizing your home is going to respond ti is a mature, frank conversation.

Is Washington state civilized enough to allow potential victims to defend property as well as llfe if threatened? Or are they more concerned with the welfare of the criminal and providing them wita a safe work environment?

13 Dec 2012 11:50 AM
macadamnut     

Ohlookabutterfly: Wow the definition of assault sure has taken a shiat kicking by the pc crowd, eh? I was in court once testifying in support of aquaintance' character when the opposing lawyer tried to use hearsay against me that someone I had a verbal disagreement with said I "looked like I was going to hit him", so naturally I asked the lawyer how it appears when it looks like I am going to hit someone when I am standing still with my arms at my side running my mouth. She tried to pull out the definition of assault but the judge stopped her with a reprimand for wasting my and the courts' time. If I remember correctly I also had to ask what it looks like when I "almost hit him". Is that like "almost raping someone"? Can we now be jailed for "perceived intent"?


Yeah, this. How can you suspect someone of assault with a machete? When I assault you with a machete, you'll know it.

13 Dec 2012 11:57 AM
numbone     
Generation_D [TotalFark]



Hey, he could have brought a gun.




Why not a gun that shoots machetes?

www.hightech-edge.comView Full Size

13 Dec 2012 11:58 AM
asmodeus224     
Bet they won't fark with his house anymore...just a guess.

img841.imageshack.usView Full Size

13 Dec 2012 12:04 PM
hasty ambush    [TotalFark]  

Sultan Of Herf: Its the Latino way?


I thought they carried ice picks?

/obscure

13 Dec 2012 12:14 PM
Dictatorial_Flair     
I vote machete.

13 Dec 2012 12:20 PM
Virulency     

LesserEvil: [i.imgur.com image 409x620]
"Could somebody care to explain why I'm here?"


WWMD, what would machete do? probably bring a machete...

13 Dec 2012 12:22 PM
Bendal     

hasty ambush: Showing up with a machete was dumb but I really thin that the last thing a person who is constantly vandalizing your home is going to respond ti is a mature, frank conversation.


I can attest to that. Years ago I noticed chicken eggs splattered across the side of my house facing my neighbor's property. I knocked on their door and asked if they'd noticed anyone throwing eggs at my house. The woman living there immediately accused me of saying their teenaged boys had thrown the eggs. The mature conversation I was trying to have with her ended at that point, since that was all she had heard and she wasn't going to discuss the subject any further with me.

And yes, I suspected that the boys there or their friends had thrown the eggs, but I asked her what I typed up above. At least I didn't have any more eggs thrown at the house after that.

13 Dec 2012 12:23 PM
Dictatorial_Flair     

numbone: Generation_D [TotalFark]



Hey, he could have brought a gun.



Why not a gun that shoots machetes?

[www.hightech-edge.com image 550x300]


That thing looks extremely farking safe for everyone involved. We should mass-produce those.

13 Dec 2012 12:23 PM
Superjew     

hasty ambush: Is Washington state civilized enough to allow potential victims to defend property as well as llfe if threatened?


Yes. Yes we are.

RCW 9A.16.050
Homicide - By other person - When justifiable.

*** CHANGE IN 2011 *** (SEE 5045.SL) ***

Homicide is also justifiable when committed either:

(1) In the lawful defense of the slayer, or his or her husband, wife, parent, child, brother, or sister, or of any other person in his presence or company, when there is reasonable ground to apprehend a design on the part of the person slain to commit a felony or to do some great personal injury to the slayer or to any such person, and there is imminent danger of such design being accomplished; or

(2) In the actual resistance of an attempt to commit a felony upon the slayer, in his presence, or upon or in a dwelling, or other place of abode, in which he is.

13 Dec 2012 12:27 PM
Superjew     
Addenda:

RCW 9A.52.025
Residential burglary.

*** CHANGE IN 2011 *** (SEE 5891-S.SL) ***

(1) A person is guilty of residential burglary if, with intent to commit a crime against a person or property therein, the person enters or remains unlawfully in a dwelling other than a vehicle.

(2) Residential burglary is a class B felony. In establishing sentencing guidelines and disposition standards, the sentencing guidelines commission and the juvenile disposition standards commission shall consider residential burglary as a more serious offense than second degree burglary.
RCW 9A.52.040
Inference of intent.

In any prosecution for burglary, any person who enters or remains unlawfully in a building may be inferred to have acted with intent to commit a crime against a person or property therein, unless such entering or remaining shall be explained by evidence satisfactory to the trier of fact to have been made without such criminal intent.

13 Dec 2012 12:28 PM
mortimer_ford     
I would not be stupid enough to bring a machete but I might wear a t shirt with a machete on it or just the word machete printed on it in a really scary font like chiller.ttf.

13 Dec 2012 12:35 PM
Thurston Howell     
Maybe if he'd spent more time playing catch with the neighbours, and less time training his body and mind to kill them in a machete fight...

13 Dec 2012 01:39 PM
DaCaptain19     
Does subby actually think that calm, rational discussions between adults can even happen?

If you call out ANY adult for their behavior - no matter how legitimate - you'll get the "F*ck off" and possibly be challenged to a fight.

I used to act like people my age were polite, rational, etc. Now I realize no matter how old, how "mature", how rich/poor how old/young how smart the person is - will get angry when called out. Period.

Example: Have you ever been cut-off in traffic only to see the driver give you the finger? Like you're the problem? Sure you have.

Very few adults can look at themselves in a mirror and say, "I might have been wrong to do that." So don't f*cking assume you can have any "conversation" with them. You go in anticipating asshattery.

13 Dec 2012 02:18 PM
CharlesCurtisStanley     
Ah, yes. Kitsap County, the Florida of Washington.

13 Dec 2012 03:46 PM
Showing 1-36 of 36 comments
Refresh
This thread is closed to new comments.


Back To Main

More Headlines:
Main | Sports | Business | Geek | Entertainment | Politics | Video | FarkUs | Contests | Fark Party | Combined