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   Man beats victim with frying pan until handle breaks. At least they can't blame this one on pot

13 Dec 2012 01:46 PM   |   2817 clicks   |   WLKY Louisville
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HighZoolander     
I guess that was his brain on drugs.

13 Dec 2012 01:49 PM
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Loaf's Tray     
DON'T FEED THE 'BOS!

13 Dec 2012 01:49 PM
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Nothing To See Here     
He was high on pots.

13 Dec 2012 01:50 PM
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Langdon Alger     
I guess that kind of like breaking your foot off in someones ass

13 Dec 2012 01:50 PM
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SkylineRecords     
bbsimg.ngfiles.com

13 Dec 2012 01:52 PM
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blatz514    [TotalFark]  
Frying pan. Wooden spoon. I deserved it all.

13 Dec 2012 01:54 PM
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RobFMJ     
Not too many headlines make me cringe anymore

/This one?
//Farking ow

13 Dec 2012 01:55 PM
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Englebert Slaptyback     

Police said the victim fell to the floor and pretended to be dead.

Helm then took a flat screen TV and threatened to shoot the victim if he moved, the warrant said.


That's some nice pretending there, Lou.


The victim suffered serious head injuries which needed five stitches and five staples.


That was easy.

13 Dec 2012 01:55 PM
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Fark Reddit or bust     
To be fair, he was having a "Tom & Jerry" relapse.

13 Dec 2012 01:56 PM
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Louisiana_Sitar_Club     
Until Handel breaks?

i48.tinypic.com

13 Dec 2012 01:57 PM
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TXEric     
This is a great example of a time you should use cast iron.

13 Dec 2012 01:58 PM
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satanorsanta     

TXEric: This is a great example of a time you should use cast iron.


You beat me to the punchline

13 Dec 2012 02:01 PM
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Pants full of macaroni!!     
Insert obligatory Eating Raoul reference here.

13 Dec 2012 02:02 PM
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asmodeus224     
1.bp.blogspot.com

13 Dec 2012 02:02 PM
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Buggar     
When does a pan become a pot?

13 Dec 2012 02:03 PM
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Fark Reddit or bust     

Buggar: When does a pan become a pot?


When it's broke! Heyoo!

13 Dec 2012 02:07 PM
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NutWrench    [TotalFark]  
See? Pot wrecked his brain!

13 Dec 2012 02:09 PM
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imtheonlylp     
Either of them fried on baking salts?

13 Dec 2012 02:09 PM
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Englebert Slaptyback     

Buggar


When does a pan become a pot?


When the depth is greater than the radius.

13 Dec 2012 02:10 PM
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liam76     
Helm was charged with first-degree robbery in this incident. He also faces second-degree robbery, third-degree criminal mischief, fraudulent use of a credit card and another first-degree robbery charge in two previous incidents in October and November

Why was he out on the street?

13 Dec 2012 02:11 PM
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arcas     
Helm was charged with first-degree robbery in this incident. He also faces second-degree robbery, third-degree criminal mischief, fraudulent use of a credit card and another first-degree robbery charge in two previous incidents in October and November.

No assault/battery charges?

13 Dec 2012 02:12 PM
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Odd Bird     
image.hotbikeweb.com

13 Dec 2012 02:13 PM
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dikfishman     
i46.tinypic.com

13 Dec 2012 02:14 PM
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liam76     

arcas: Helm was charged with first-degree robbery in this incident. He also faces second-degree robbery, third-degree criminal mischief, fraudulent use of a credit card and another first-degree robbery charge in two previous incidents in October and November.

No assault/battery charges?


Based on what the victim said I would go with attempted murder.

13 Dec 2012 02:14 PM
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darth_badger     
"It's hard to think clearly when it's 38 degrees.
Desperate people have been known to render desperate deeds."

13 Dec 2012 02:15 PM
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oldfarthenry    [TotalFark]  
See! I told you "cast-iron" was the way to go. They don't break in the middle of a beating.

13 Dec 2012 02:16 PM
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revrendjim    [TotalFark]  
"Dear Consumerist: The handle on my new frying pan broke off after only a few minutes of use..."

13 Dec 2012 02:17 PM
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inner ted     

Odd Bird: [image.hotbikeweb.com image 640x480]


took half a moment
then i grinned

well done

13 Dec 2012 02:18 PM
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darth_badger     
www.warpbreach.com

13 Dec 2012 02:34 PM
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SpaceBison     
Has the same problem:
25.media.tumblr.com

13 Dec 2012 02:39 PM
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queenalice     
img812.imageshack.us


"All she told the police was that he was boring," says David as he and Nate look over Hanley's corpse. "The sick part is, I understand it," Nate says.

13 Dec 2012 02:49 PM
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Isildur     
Sounds like he... flew off the handle.

13 Dec 2012 02:58 PM
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Cold_Sassy     
Good thing for the homeowner that he didn't have cast iron cookware.

13 Dec 2012 02:59 PM
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Evil Mackerel     
Should've used a vodka bottle.

13 Dec 2012 03:02 PM
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robertus     
YOU LIED TO ME

4.bp.blogspot.com

13 Dec 2012 03:12 PM
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dready zim     
I guess it depends on the pan. I`ve had really heavy pans that could kill someone with one hit and also had cheap pans that you could hit someone over the head until it fell apart and they would only need maybe a couple of stitches where the sharp edge of the broken pan caught them.

Sounds like the victim was save by his cheap ass pan...

13 Dec 2012 03:23 PM
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Isildur     
Headbanging to metal...you're doing it wrong.

13 Dec 2012 03:33 PM
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Invisible Pedestrian     

HighZoolander: I guess that was his brain on drugs.


...and we're done. Last one out get the lights.

13 Dec 2012 03:38 PM
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Isildur     
ftfa: Helm was charged with first-degree robbery in this incident.

He would have been charged with battery too, but the pan was clean.

/but seriously, why no assault charge?

13 Dec 2012 03:40 PM
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Isildur     

HighZoolander: I guess that was his brain on drugs.


Well, he did get cracked up.

13 Dec 2012 03:42 PM
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RidersOfLohan     
how do we know it wasn't just a crappy pan? I bought a bread knife that looked decent. And it broke literally on the first use cutting french bread.

Those stories about "so violent the blade of the knife broke off" don't mean much. Except for the stabby part, that sucks

13 Dec 2012 04:17 PM
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Somaticasual     
Kettle, however, seen fleeing belize penniless..

13 Dec 2012 04:29 PM
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StoPPeRmobile     
Ban frying pans!

13 Dec 2012 04:30 PM
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Fluid     
Brock keeps finding new uses for that thing.

13 Dec 2012 05:53 PM
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lack of warmth     
Tis the season for kettle rage.

13 Dec 2012 06:00 PM
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Gawdzila     
And he's not dead?
Musta been one of those cheap-ass aluminum pans from WalMart.

13 Dec 2012 07:23 PM
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Pathman     
1.bp.blogspot.com

13 Dec 2012 08:01 PM
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