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   "Your drink: now the most pleasant part of flying. " Thanks Captain Romero

13 Dec 2012 03:39 PM   |   4563 clicks   |   Philly.com
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Rapmaster2000    [TotalFark]  
www.theflyingpinto.com

It too was once more pleasant.

13 Dec 2012 01:38 PM
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UberDave    [TotalFark]  
The airlines could easily make flying more pleasurable - when that large crowd instantly forms in front of the gate when the first seating announcement is made, blast them with a big water cannon.

13 Dec 2012 03:00 PM
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Ego edo infantia cattus     
It makes going through security more pleasurable too, and the wait, and layovers, and baggage claim. In fact, I can't remember the last time I was in an airport sober. Always remember to specifically request a female TSA agent to do the groping. They love that.

13 Dec 2012 03:45 PM
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devilskware     
I thought landing was the most pleasant part of flying ... and Xanax.

13 Dec 2012 03:45 PM
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brnt00     
Your article: now the most worthless piece on philly.com

13 Dec 2012 03:46 PM
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lenfromak    [TotalFark]  
I remember when Alaska started you off in first with champagne before they closed the door.

13 Dec 2012 03:46 PM
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Kuroshin     
Not much else to look forward to, since most airlines have transitioned away from large wide-body jets to narrow-body 737s and the like. There just isn't the space (even in "first class") to do much of anything.

13 Dec 2012 03:47 PM
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mudpants     
BURP

13 Dec 2012 03:47 PM
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mark12A     
The airlines could easily make flying more pleasurable - when that large crowd instantly forms in front of the gate when the first seating announcement is made, blast them with a big water cannon.

Oh, THIS so much!

The only time I drink on the airplane is a couple of glasses of wine with my dinner when flying an afternoon flight to the west coast. Or overnight to Europe. Never on short flights.

13 Dec 2012 03:48 PM
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trappedspirit     
At their prices if I bought enough drinks to get a buzz I may as well go first class.

13 Dec 2012 03:49 PM
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Matt Foley     

Kuroshin: Not much else to look forward to, since most airlines have transitioned away from large wide-body jets to narrow-body 737s and the like. There just isn't the space (even in "first class") to do much of anything.



Come on now - the planes aren't getting smaller, you're just getting fatter.

13 Dec 2012 03:50 PM
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Lawnchair     

lenfromak: I remember when Alaska started you off in first with champagne before they closed the door.


I remember when the late Midwest Express had complimentary wine/beer (not super fancy, but complimentary) and a grilled chicken breast, planewide, for a KC-Newark flight that I picked up for roughly $200 roundtrip.

/ Early 2001
// G*d-damn the terrists won

13 Dec 2012 03:50 PM
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thecpt     
So I'm going on a plane for the first time in my life in exactly a month. Any suggestions? How drunk should I get?

13 Dec 2012 03:51 PM
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Carn     
I thought being trapped in a thin metal tube in a tiny seat where you can barely move for several hours was the best part!

13 Dec 2012 03:53 PM
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StoPPeRmobile     

devilskware: I thought landing was the most pleasant part of flying ... and Xanax.


Being a complacent, drugged, Xanax zombie, you're not helping.

or

www.patentspostgrant.com

13 Dec 2012 03:53 PM
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blatz514    [TotalFark]  
Oh, so it's not the screaming kid kicking my seat? Good to know.

13 Dec 2012 03:53 PM
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Grapple     

thecpt: So I'm going on a plane for the first time in my life in exactly a month. Any suggestions? How drunk should I get?


Never stop drinking from the time you leave the house until you lay down on the hotel bed.

13 Dec 2012 03:53 PM
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zerkalo     
Aeroflot passengers are known to break open their own bottles en route. At least that's what I remember on the old Moscow-Seattle run

13 Dec 2012 03:54 PM
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Kuroshin     

thecpt: So I'm going on a plane for the first time in my life in exactly a month. Any suggestions? How drunk should I get?


Can't recommend getting drunk until you know how your body is going to react to flight. The constant rustling of jimmies really makes your inner-ear work overtime. Best to stick to ginger ale at first, then add some jack daniels as you get settled in.

13 Dec 2012 03:54 PM
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Seasons I'v Withered     

thecpt: So I'm going on a plane for the first time in my life in exactly a month. Any suggestions? How drunk should I get?

Wheelchair thru the groping department is a good start.

13 Dec 2012 03:55 PM
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StoPPeRmobile     

Kuroshin: Not much else to look forward to, since most airlines have transitioned away from large wide-body jets to narrow-body 737s and the like. There just isn't the space (even in "first class") to do much of anything.


static.guim.co.uk

13 Dec 2012 03:55 PM
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justneal     

thecpt: So I'm going on a plane for the first time in my life in exactly a month. Any suggestions? How drunk should I get?


how long a flight, how fat/non fat are you?

have 3-4 drink before you take off, the plane will pressureize, voila your boris yeltsin

13 Dec 2012 03:55 PM
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The Irresponsible Captain     
Set 'em up and keep 'em coming. Maybe I'll be drunk enough to forget the whole terrible event.

13 Dec 2012 03:56 PM
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srgrobe    [TotalFark]  

thecpt: So I'm going on a plane for the first time in my life in exactly a month. Any suggestions? How drunk should I get?


How ulgy are you?

13 Dec 2012 03:56 PM
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Kuroshin     

Grapple: thecpt: So I'm going on a plane for the first time in my life in exactly a month. Any suggestions? How drunk should I get?

Never stop drinking from the time you leave the house until you lay down on the hotel bed.


This has always been my game plan during trips. Really makes those long layovers rough though. Six hours sitting in Houston, drinking, made the flight back to PDX kinda...bleargh.

13 Dec 2012 03:56 PM
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Carn     

thecpt: So I'm going on a plane for the first time in my life in exactly a month. Any suggestions? How drunk should I get?


Don't get too ripped before you get on the plane - if you are wasted they may not let you on. A couple is not a bad plan though if you get nervous. Chewing gun is a very good idea for takeoff and descent to pop your ears, and pepto bismol chewables are one of my new favorite things.

13 Dec 2012 03:56 PM
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StoPPeRmobile     

Kuroshin: thecpt: So I'm going on a plane for the first time in my life in exactly a month. Any suggestions? How drunk should I get?

Can't recommend getting drunk until you know how your body is going to react to flight. The constant rustling of jimmies really makes your inner-ear work overtime. Best to stick to ginger ale at first, then add some jack daniels as you get settled in.


Layovers can break you, if drinking.

13 Dec 2012 03:56 PM
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Carn     
Oh and ibuprofen. Never travel without ibuprofen.

13 Dec 2012 03:58 PM
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Tanthalas39     
I flew 91 round trips in 2012. I enjoyed a number of them.

/zero is a number

13 Dec 2012 03:59 PM
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Mr_Fabulous     
This is why I like to fly business class, and I have a United Club membership. Non-stop drinking, with intermittent music-listening. .

My entire flying experience, from the departure airport to disembarking on arrival, is an exercise in buzz-maintenance and playlist selection.

13 Dec 2012 04:00 PM
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Mr. Coffee Nerves    [TotalFark]  
I just flew on a brand-new 737 that had *no* entertainment. No in-seat TVs, no drop-down screens, nothing - not even audio.
It was "due for an upgrade" - why the hell would an airline roll out a new machine THEN install the doodads?
But, I was in first class and the drinks were 3D surround sound.

13 Dec 2012 04:00 PM
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GanjSmokr     
Still not enough to make me want to fly again. Ever.

fark 'em.


Matt Foley: Kuroshin: Not much else to look forward to, since most airlines have transitioned away from large wide-body jets to narrow-body 737s and the like. There just isn't the space (even in "first class") to do much of anything.


Come on now - the planes aren't getting smaller, you're just getting fatterlaaaarrrrrger.


FTFY

13 Dec 2012 04:01 PM
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Mog32Kupo    [TotalFark]  
oh airtravel...
The only place where you can start drinking before the sunrises, drink alone, and no one questions your intentions.

13 Dec 2012 04:02 PM
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freetomato    [TotalFark]  
I was on a flight from New Orleans to Hartford, back in the day when they still fed you for free, and they ran out of meals. The FA made the announcment "If anyone is willing to give up their meal, we'll give you a complimentary cocktail." A few minutes later, she got back on the PA and said "We have plenty of meals now - does anyone want one?"

Flew Qantas to Sydney in 2000 - flew in coach on a big cushy seat, ate and drank at no extra charge. Two damn handsome male FAs as eye candy too.

13 Dec 2012 04:02 PM
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WhippingBoy     

thecpt: So I'm going on a plane for the first time in my life in exactly a month. Any suggestions? How drunk should I get?


Try to see how much you can drink in half an hour, and then try doubling it every half hour after that.

13 Dec 2012 04:03 PM
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Phil Ken Sebben     

Matt Foley: Kuroshin: Not much else to look forward to, since most airlines have transitioned away from large wide-body jets to narrow-body 737s and the like. There just isn't the space (even in "first class") to do much of anything.


Come on now - the planes aren't getting smaller, you're just getting fatter.


And Leon's getting laaaaaarrrrrggggeeerrrr

13 Dec 2012 04:04 PM
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Jim.Casy     
I'm getting on a plane early tomorrow, so I'm getting a kick.

/how early is too early to start drinking?
//even if I have a business meeting?

13 Dec 2012 04:04 PM
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MajorTubeSteak    [TotalFark]  
"Your drink: now the most pleasant part of flying. " Thanks Captain Romero

Most pleasant? Try ONLY pleasant part of flying these days!

13 Dec 2012 04:05 PM
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freetomato    [TotalFark]  

GanjSmokr: Still not enough to make me want to fly again. Ever.

fark 'em.


Matt Foley: Kuroshin: Not much else to look forward to, since most airlines have transitioned away from large wide-body jets to narrow-body 737s and the like. There just isn't the space (even in "first class") to do much of anything.


Come on now - the planes aren't getting smaller, you're just getting fatterlaaaarrrrrger.

FTFY


Actually the last time we flew on Delta, my husband noticed that they'd crammed two extra rows of seats in (he took early retirement from Delta - worked on those jets for 16 years).

13 Dec 2012 04:05 PM
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Beerguy    [TotalFark]  

Grapple: thecpt: So I'm going on a plane for the first time in my life in exactly a month. Any suggestions? How drunk should I get?

Never stop drinking from the time you leave the house until you lay down on the hotel bed.


That is my strategy every single time.

The only times I have ever flown sober was in the Army on a C130 or Chinook.

13 Dec 2012 04:06 PM
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devilskware     

StoPPeRmobile: devilskware: I thought landing was the most pleasant part of flying ... and Xanax.

Being a complacent, drugged, Xanax zombie, you're not helping.

or

[www.patentspostgrant.com image 480x360]


Hey gimme a break. Who am I supposed to be helping? The only time I've ever taken Xanax is on a flight. It's better than drinking beer nonstop and having to pee every 15 minutes.

13 Dec 2012 04:08 PM
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Carn     

Jim.Casy: I'm getting on a plane early tomorrow, so I'm getting a kick.

/how early is too early to start drinking?
//even if I have a business meeting?


If you stay up all night, it's late, not early.

13 Dec 2012 04:08 PM
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The Third Man     

thecpt: So I'm going on a plane for the first time in my life in exactly a month. Any suggestions? How drunk should I get?


I'm hoping your username doesn't stand for "the captain."

13 Dec 2012 04:09 PM
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Canton     
Magic sky juice most certainly is the best part. Although, being seated next to an off-duty pilot that one time was also pleasant. Couldn't have asked for a better person to sit next to.

13 Dec 2012 04:09 PM
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TheTurtle     
Whut? I thought it was the free prostate exam.

From TFA: "Virgin America will soon launch a "send a drink" feature. Passengers can use the plane's seatback entertainment system to buy their neighbors a margarita, merlot or maybe a shot of tequila."

How about a bilge-plug to stick in their pie-hole, or maybe a few blasts of Febreze for their screaming kid's ass?

13 Dec 2012 04:09 PM
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Three-Fifty     
If I drank, I'd drink from the moment I finished parking until I got to the hotel room.

One of my friends is a pilot and he hates the flying public (of course, he would not like it if I pointed out that he is a glorified bus driver, but whatever). And so do all the gate agents, ticketing agents, flight attendants...etc. They all hate that we need to fly and that they have to fly us. And it is soooo much fun to do business with an industry that does not want to do business with us. Drinks really are the best part. Too bad the flight crew can;t find a way to drink also.

13 Dec 2012 04:10 PM
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Arkanaut     

MajorTubeSteak: "Your drink: now the most pleasant part of flying. " Thanks Captain Romero

Most pleasant? Try ONLY pleasant part of flying these days!


Well, there's also reading through Skymall and seeing all the crazy crap that they try to get rich people to buy.

13 Dec 2012 04:10 PM
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TheTurtle     

Beerguy: Grapple: thecpt: So I'm going on a plane for the first time in my life in exactly a month. Any suggestions? How drunk should I get?

Never stop drinking from the time you leave the house until you lay down on the hotel bed.

That is my strategy every single time.

The only times I have ever flown sober was in the Army on a C130 or Chinook.


//this
///gets expensive at the airport bar though
////stock up on shot bottles before you leave the house
//make sure they're in plastic baggies
//plastic slashies

13 Dec 2012 04:10 PM
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Kuroshin     

devilskware: StoPPeRmobile: devilskware: I thought landing was the most pleasant part of flying ... and Xanax.

Being a complacent, drugged, Xanax zombie, you're not helping.

or

[www.patentspostgrant.com image 480x360]

Hey gimme a break. Who am I supposed to be helping? The only time I've ever taken Xanax is on a flight. It's better than drinking beer nonstop and having to pee every 15 minutes.


Stick with hard liquor and let yourself get dehydrated. No pee breaks, and the dehydration gets you drunker, faster.

Just remember to re-hydrate after you land. The hangover will be a biatch otherwise.

13 Dec 2012 04:15 PM
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TheTurtle     

Three-Fifty: If I drank, I'd drink from the moment I finished parking until I got to the hotel room.

One of my friends is a pilot and he hates the flying public (of course, he would not like it if I pointed out that he is a glorified bus driver, but whatever). And so do all the gate agents, ticketing agents, flight attendants...etc. They all hate that we need to fly and that they have to fly us. And it is soooo much fun to do business with an industry that does not want to do business with us. Drinks really are the best part. Too bad the flight crew can;t find a way to drink also.


Nah, they have to wait till they get off the plane, like Steven Slater, the guy who popped the slide, grabbed a couple of beers, and hit the door.

13 Dec 2012 04:16 PM
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