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   But now is not the time to talk about knife control

14 Dec 2012 01:32 PM   |   15579 clicks   |   CNN
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Rapmaster2000    [TotalFark]  
If more Chinamen spent time at the knife range then these thugs would think twice before picking up a blade. I personally spend several hours a day perfecting my knifery skills to protect my family, liberty, and property.

On my body I carry a dagger, a concealed cleaver, and at least two paring knifes at all times and I will NOT hesitate to execute my CONSTITUTIONAL right to stab you in the face.

I will not give in to the Ginsu Grabbers.

14 Dec 2012 09:27 AM
FriarReb98    [TotalFark]  

Rapmaster2000: If more Chinamen spent time at the knife range then these thugs would think twice before picking up a blade. I personally spend several hours a day perfecting my knifery skills to protect my family, liberty, and property.

On my body I carry a dagger, a concealed cleaver, and at least two paring knifes at all times and I will NOT hesitate to execute my CONSTITUTIONAL right to stab you in the face.

I will not give in to the Ginsu Grabbers.


If every post is like this, this thread will be great.

14 Dec 2012 09:31 AM
The Stealth Hippopotamus    [TotalFark]  
http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/asiapcf/ 05/02/china.attacks/index.htmlDo Chinese policeman carry these poles around?

To bad there isn't a way to train to someone to fight with their hands. We really should invent something like that.

14 Dec 2012 09:55 AM
BronyMedic     
Of course not, unless you suggest that enforcing existing legislation on the books is going to have an effect on the People's Republic of Chi...

Oh, God. You bastards. That's your plan, isn't it. THAT is why you want every American armed with their AK-101MP5SDM-16MOD0Mark203s and 100 round drum magazines.

I'M ON TO YOU!!!!!

images1.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size

14 Dec 2012 09:56 AM
trivial use of my dark powers     
Knives don't kill people--people kill people. And if you outlaw knives only outlaws will have knives. You can have my knife when you pry it from my cold, dead hands. A populace armed with knives is our best defense against..um....everything.

Yeah.

14 Dec 2012 09:56 AM
BronyMedic     

The Stealth Hippopotamus: To bad there isn't a way to train to someone to fight with their hands. We really should invent something like that.


You do realize that engaging someone with a knife, and disarming them without getting seriously hurt in the process is a little harder than Chuck Norris movies make it look, right?

14 Dec 2012 09:57 AM
bdub77    [TotalFark]  

BronyMedic: The Stealth Hippopotamus: To bad there isn't a way to train to someone to fight with their hands. We really should invent something like that.

You do realize that engaging someone with a knife, and disarming them without getting seriously hurt in the process is a little harder than Chuck Norris movies make it look, right?


I like to think I know a little about trying to stab someone a foot to the right of their body with the grip of a cripple.

14 Dec 2012 10:15 AM
Snarfangel    [TotalFark]  
I bet it was KA-BAR-47. Those things are just killing machines. No one needs an assault knife like that. 

This one is kind of cute, though:
www.kabar.comView Full Size

14 Dec 2012 10:18 AM
BigSnatch    [TotalFark]  
The guy stabbed 22 children and ALL of them are still alive, albeit a few in critical condition?

Won't be long until the Chinese government pins it on Chen Guangcheng...

14 Dec 2012 10:23 AM
SnarfVader     
We as a society have a national obsession with knives. We even have entire networks such as the Food Network dedicated to knives that young, impressionable minds can watch at any time with no parental supervision. The knife culture glorifies the likes of Bobby Flay, Emeril Lagasse, and Gordon Ramsay who use these huge, unnecessary knives in their food preparation. Emiril's catchphrase of "Bam" is a direct invitation of kids to season their target before chopping it up.

We can't go on with this knife worship. Knives larger than 5" need to be banned, as a start. A true chef would not need a knife any larger. Any other knives need to be registered with the appropriate authorities, and then only after taking a class and placing them in a locked kitchen drawer away from any sharpeners. Butter knives need to have Rachel Ray orange handles so as to not be mistaken by law enforcement for real knives.

By taking these first reasonable steps perhaps we can turn this ultra violent society around. After all, you don't hear about people stabbing each other in Europe, do you? The second amendment did not specify which arms we could bear and then only referred to those knives used by militias. This violent behavior needs to stop and sensible knife regulations are the first step.

14 Dec 2012 10:36 AM
Hot Carl To Go     
I, for one, would like to say that the ballistic knife is bullshiat. Nothing like shooting someone in the face 3 times to have them skewer you from 300 yards for the instakill.

14 Dec 2012 10:36 AM
bdub77    [TotalFark]  

Hot Carl To Go: I, for one, would like to say that the ballistic knife is bullshiat. Nothing like shooting someone in the face 3 times to have them skewer you from 300 yards for the instakill.


Amen. F*cking lag compensation.

14 Dec 2012 10:41 AM
The Stealth Hippopotamus    [TotalFark]  

BronyMedic: You do realize that engaging someone with a knife, and disarming them without getting seriously hurt in the process is a little harder than Chuck Norris movies make it look, right?


Oh hell yeah. I also know that a classroom full of children need to be protected. If you read the article I posted you'll see that this isn't the first time this has happened. They need a few people on staff that can challenge these attackers. 3 or 4 well trained people can take out one person with a knife.

I was a little snarky about the way I posted that. I just find it funny that in the birth place of so many styles of unarmed combat a person with a knife can attack so many people.

/understands the first principle of knife fighting, you gonna get cut.

14 Dec 2012 10:42 AM
Lumpmoose     
We don't have knife control for the same reason we do have bazooka-control: the world isn't black and white and gun policy shouldn't be either.

Here's a start.

A balanced approach to gun control in the United States would require the warring sides to agree on several contentious issues. Conservative gun-rights advocates should acknowledge that if more states had stringent universal background checks-or if a federal law put these in place-more guns would be kept out of the hands of criminals and the dangerously mentally unstable. They should also acknowledge that requiring background checks on buyers at gun shows would not represent a threat to the Constitution. "The NRA position on this is a fiction," says Dan Gross, the head of the Brady Campaign. "Universal background checks are not an infringement on our Second Amendment rights. This is black-helicopter stuff." Gross believes that closing the gun-show loophole would be both extremely effective and a politically moderate and achievable goal. The gun lobby must also agree that concealed-carry permits should be granted only to people who pass rigorous criminal checks, as well as thorough training-and-safety courses.

Anti-gun advocates, meanwhile, should acknowledge that gun-control legislation is not the only answer to gun violence. Responsible gun ownership is also an answer. An enormous number of Americans believe this to be the case, and gun-control advocates do themselves no favors when they demonize gun owners, and advocates of armed self-defense, as backwoods barbarians. Liberals sometimes make the mistake of anthropomorphizing guns, ascribing to them moral characteristics they do not possess. Guns can be used to do evil, but guns can also be used to do good. Twelve years ago, in the aftermath of Matthew Shepard's murder, Jonathan Rauch launched a national movement when he wrote an article for Salon arguing that gay people should arm themselves against violent bigots. Pink Pistol clubs sprang up across America, in which gays and lesbians learn to use firearms in self-defense. Other vulnerable groups have also taken to the idea of concealed carry: in Texas, African American women represent the largest percentage increase of concealed-carry permit seekers since 2000.

14 Dec 2012 10:53 AM
Dead for Tax Reasons     

Rapmaster2000: f more Chinamen spent time at the knife range then these thugs would think twice before picking up a blade. I personally spend several hours a day perfecting my knifery skills to protect my family, liberty, and property.

On my body I carry a dagger, a concealed cleaver, and at least two paring knifes at all times and I will NOT hesitate to execute my CONSTITUTIONAL right to stab you in the face.

I will not give in to the Ginsu Grabbers.


what the fark are you tanking about dude

also, dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. asian-american, please.

14 Dec 2012 11:20 AM
brap    [TotalFark]  
You never hear about anyone going ballistic with a spork.  By managing to be everything to everyone, sporks are the dimplomat of the cutlery world. 

14 Dec 2012 12:04 PM
Hot Carl To Go     

brap: You never hear about anyone going ballistic with a spork.  By managing to be everything to everyone, sporks are the dimplomat of the cutlery world.


There are a few high school principals in north Florida that have had their lawns sporked that would disagree with you.

14 Dec 2012 12:39 PM
Peter von Nostrand    [TotalFark]  
Oh hey, possibly a school shooting in theUS

14 Dec 2012 12:48 PM
Eatin' Queer Fetuses for Jesus     
Wounded != Dead. China has surpassed us in intelligence.

14 Dec 2012 01:36 PM
HotWingConspiracy     
All those kids lived.

14 Dec 2012 01:37 PM
WhyteRaven74     
You mean a place with massive economic and quality of life disparities and nothing in the way of mental health care has problems with violence? No shiat.

14 Dec 2012 01:38 PM
topcon     
Early reports are saying funky Billy Chin and little Sammy Chung are in custody by Chinese officials.

14 Dec 2012 01:38 PM
furiousxgeorge     
No deaths to knifeman. Over 20 to gunman in CT. Your jokes were really funny though guys, lol knife laws!

14 Dec 2012 01:39 PM
odinsposse     
Knives are only made for one purpose, cutting. You can pretend they are just for cooking or box opening or whatever but we all know that their main purpose is to be dangerous weapons. We need a knife registry and a ban on assault knives.

14 Dec 2012 01:42 PM
CarnySaur     
A number of measures were introduced at the time, including increased security at schools across the country and a regulation requiring people to register with their national ID cards when buying large knives.

14 Dec 2012 01:42 PM
Eatin' Queer Fetuses for Jesus     
The only way a knife is gonna kill you is if there is a chink in your armor.

14 Dec 2012 01:43 PM
TotallyHeadless     
We really need to start talking about mental health in this country. Enough about weapon control. We have to limit the conditions that make so many young men go off the handle.

14 Dec 2012 01:43 PM
palelizard     
The Japan group should have had this in the bag! They farked us! How hard is it to kill nine year olds?

Zero fatality. Total loss!

14 Dec 2012 01:44 PM
skinink     
For awhile I was a big knife collector. Cold Steel makes some excellent knives, and some knife companies carry some pretty good looking blades.

14 Dec 2012 01:46 PM
IlGreven     
If only those kids would've been brandishing, all this could've been avoided.

14 Dec 2012 01:46 PM
ProfessorOhki     
Knife attack at Chinese school wounds 22 children
CBS News: 18 Children Among At Least 26 Dead In Newtown, Conn. Elementary School Shooting


Hey, the articles are only 4 headlines apart. Should make for lively conversation today.

14 Dec 2012 01:47 PM
hbk72777     

TotallyHeadless: We really need to start talking about mental health in this country. Enough about weapon control. We have to limit the conditions that make so many young men go off the handle.


This. Every company that I've worked for provided free drugs and alcohol programs, you also kept your job, they filled in with a temp until you "got better". If you were mentally ill? $25 per session, capped after a certain number of visits, and good luck keeping your job while you worked through your problems.

14 Dec 2012 01:47 PM
Flakeloaf     

WhyteRaven74: You mean a place with massive economic and quality of life disparities and nothing in the way of mental health care has problems with violence? No shiat.


But this happened in China, not the US.

14 Dec 2012 01:47 PM
Notabunny    [TotalFark]  

Peter von Nostrand: Oh hey, possibly a school shooting in theUS


What the hell is wrong with people

14 Dec 2012 01:48 PM
Bit'O'Gristle     
Seriously, what is it with bugshiat crazy people going into schools and rampaging? farking kill yourselves and leave the innocent kids alone.

14 Dec 2012 01:48 PM
palelizard     

Eatin' Queer Fetuses for Jesus: The only way a knife is gonna kill you is if there is a chink in your armor.


Knife control laws are a slippery slope, especially since everyone has their own slant on the topic.

14 Dec 2012 01:48 PM
mcsey     
Knife attack at Chinese school wounds 22 children
CBS News: 18 Children Among At Least 26 Dead In Newtown, Conn. Elementary School Shooting

14 Dec 2012 01:49 PM
AxemRed     
Guns are more efficient than knifes, but there are crazies everywhere.

14 Dec 2012 01:50 PM
Primitive Screwhead    [TotalFark]  
Thank god he didn't have a a bunch of loganberries.

14 Dec 2012 01:50 PM
DeaH    [TotalFark]  

BigSnatch: The guy stabbed 22 children and ALL of them are still alive, albeit a few in critical condition?


My thoughts exactly. How many dead in China? How many dead in Connecticut?

You know how there's that saying about not bring a knife to a gun fight?

14 Dec 2012 01:50 PM
Clash City Farker     

BronyMedic: The Stealth Hippopotamus: To bad there isn't a way to train to someone to fight with their hands. We really should invent something like that.

You do realize that engaging someone with a knife, and disarming them without getting seriously hurt in the process is a little harder than Chuck Norris movies make it look, right?


No. The first rule of knifing someone is never let them see the knife. There are people out there that can take that knife away from you in an instant and then use it on you.

14 Dec 2012 01:51 PM
uncleacid     
Get your Slap Chop now since knives will be banned.

14 Dec 2012 01:51 PM
Primitive Screwhead    [TotalFark]  

uncleacid: Get your Slap Chop now since knives will be banned.


You're gonna love my nuts!

14 Dec 2012 01:52 PM
beta_plus     
China needs an assault knife ban. There is no other reason to own a machete than to kill people.

14 Dec 2012 01:53 PM
Eatin' Queer Fetuses for Jesus     

palelizard: Eatin' Queer Fetuses for Jesus: The only way a knife is gonna kill you is if there is a chink in your armor.

Knife control laws are a slippery slope, especially since everyone has their own slant on the topic.


Oh I'm sure we will be bombarded with lots of yellow journalism today. Not much we can do except zip up our zipper, head on out.

14 Dec 2012 01:54 PM
oldfarthenry    [TotalFark]  
Is this the thread where we ignore the elephant in our room by pointing and laughing at the squirrel in the other guy's room?
Ha Ha! Look how small the sh*t is in his room compared to the mountainous turds in ours! LOSER!

14 Dec 2012 01:56 PM
Big Man On Campus     
Where is the Ginsu lobby to prevent knife control legislation from being written?

www.everythingkitchens.comView Full Size

/from my fat, bar-b-cue sated hands!!

14 Dec 2012 01:57 PM
CarnySaur     

Eatin' Queer Fetuses for Jesus: palelizard: Eatin' Queer Fetuses for Jesus: The only way a knife is gonna kill you is if there is a chink in your armor.

Knife control laws are a slippery slope, especially since everyone has their own slant on the topic.

Oh I'm sure we will be bombarded with lots of yellow journalism today. Not much we can do except zip up our zipper, head on out.


That was a disorienting exchange.

14 Dec 2012 01:58 PM
xmasbaby     
You guys are awesome, and this thread has delivered!!! Thanks for a good laugh on an awful day!

Thanks The Stealth Hippopotamus, trivial use of my dark powers, Snarfangel, SnarfVader, brap, Hot Carl To Go, lGreven, CarnySaur, odinsposse, topcon and especially Rapmaster2000.

14 Dec 2012 01:59 PM
SirDigbyChickenCaesar     

The Stealth Hippopotamus: To bad there isn't a way to train to someone to fight with their hands. We really should invent something like that


There is only one good defense from a person with a knife: Distance.

14 Dec 2012 02:00 PM
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