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   Experts have figured out what God was trying to tell us with super-storm Sandy: He hates nude beaches

14 Dec 2012 08:39 AM   |   3514 clicks   |   Bloomberg
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vudukungfu    [TotalFark]  
That's because he sees EVERYTHING!

14 Dec 2012 08:42 AM
ChipNASA     
80/15/5% rule

80% of the folks that are at a beach nude, should NOT be.
15% of the folks that SHOULD be, are not and
5% of the ones that you want to see nude, are.

/if you're reading this you're part of the 80% unless your initials are GD.
//or a few other farkettes who shall remain nameless
///unless you want to out yourself
////In before EIP?

14 Dec 2012 08:44 AM
dittybopper    [TotalFark]  
If he hates nude beaches, then how come "nude" is an anagram of "dune"?

14 Dec 2012 08:44 AM
the_celt    [TotalFark]  
So God hates nudity? Good to know.

/don't care
//naked most of the time anyway

14 Dec 2012 08:45 AM
ModernLuddite     
Maybe God just hates nude beaches IN NEW JERSEY.

14 Dec 2012 08:47 AM
Dubai Vol     
When I lived in Germany in the 1980s there was a postage-stamp-sized lake a few klicks from my Kaseerne. The beach was grass, and there was a small stand of trees in the center. Right of the trees, clothing was worn, left of the trees, clothing was optional.

One day, the lake was the site of the swimming portion of a triathlon. Participants swam the lake, then stripped naked and put on their cycling clothes. Big farking deal.

I was reminded that America is a country founded by people too uptight for the English.

14 Dec 2012 08:48 AM
prjindigo     
hates Jersey Shore

14 Dec 2012 08:49 AM
Flab    [TotalFark]  

the_celt: So God hates nudity?


It's a major plot point in the first part of the Bible.

14 Dec 2012 08:51 AM
mossberg     
He hates nude beaches in cold areas - so it's not nude beaches per se, but goosebumps and fat nude people.

The florida nude beaches were unscathed.

14 Dec 2012 08:58 AM
dittybopper    [TotalFark]  

Dubai Vol: When I lived in Germany in the 1980s there was a postage-stamp-sized lake a few klicks from my Kaseerne. The beach was grass, and there was a small stand of trees in the center. Right of the trees, clothing was worn, left of the trees, clothing was optional.

One day, the lake was the site of the swimming portion of a triathlon. Participants swam the lake, then stripped naked and put on their cycling clothes. Big farking deal.

I was reminded that America is a country founded by people too uptight for the English.


Yeah, Germans have no problem getting people to strip naked (NSFW)

14 Dec 2012 08:59 AM
occamswrist     

Dubai Vol: When I lived in Germany in the 1980s there was a postage-stamp-sized lake a few klicks from my Kaseerne. The beach was grass, and there was a small stand of trees in the center. Right of the trees, clothing was worn, left of the trees, clothing was optional.

One day, the lake was the site of the swimming portion of a triathlon. Participants swam the lake, then stripped naked and put on their cycling clothes. Big farking deal.

I was reminded that America is a country founded by people too uptight for the English.


After ending my speech, i jumped off the table at the Hofbrauhaus and went to take a piss. I was taking a piss in the bathroom, leaning against the wall, in full view but I didn't care - I was on a roll - and this chick walks in to place toilet paper down. It did surprise me.

Weird how when you arent prepared the culture you grew up with overrides what we consciously convince ourselves of.

14 Dec 2012 09:01 AM
brimed03    [TotalFark]  
Been to Gunnison a number of times. It's true: the hanky panky is at the far end of the beach, the other 85% of it is browned retirees and a handful of girls pretending European nonchalance. Plus the odd Fark-- I mean, pervert.

/haven't been back since the chemo

14 Dec 2012 09:15 AM
uttertosh     

dittybopper: Dubai Vol: When I lived in Germany in the 1980s there was a postage-stamp-sized lake a few klicks from my Kaseerne. The beach was grass, and there was a small stand of trees in the center. Right of the trees, clothing was worn, left of the trees, clothing was optional.

One day, the lake was the site of the swimming portion of a triathlon. Participants swam the lake, then stripped naked and put on their cycling clothes. Big farking deal.

I was reminded that America is a country founded by people too uptight for the English.

Yeah, Germans have no problem getting people to strip naked (NSFW)


go fark yourself. You know who else I think is a total jävla fita? you.

14 Dec 2012 09:27 AM
dittybopper    [TotalFark]  

uttertosh: dittybopper: Dubai Vol: When I lived in Germany in the 1980s there was a postage-stamp-sized lake a few klicks from my Kaseerne. The beach was grass, and there was a small stand of trees in the center. Right of the trees, clothing was worn, left of the trees, clothing was optional.

One day, the lake was the site of the swimming portion of a triathlon. Participants swam the lake, then stripped naked and put on their cycling clothes. Big farking deal.

I was reminded that America is a country founded by people too uptight for the English.

Yeah, Germans have no problem getting people to strip naked (NSFW)

go fark yourself. You know who else I think is a total jävla fita? you.


firedaily.comView Full Size

14 Dec 2012 09:29 AM
Jon iz teh kewl     
maybe god really loves Hoboken NJ style pizza?

14 Dec 2012 09:29 AM
uttertosh     
oh, and it's americans that hates nudity, not GOD. "ERMAHGERD A NURPAL!!!"

check yourselves before you wreck yourselves.ermahgerd.

14 Dec 2012 09:31 AM
CruJones     
No, he hates New Jersey nudists. Caribbean nudists still in play.

I think all that orange spray tan and hair product is harmful to the environment.

14 Dec 2012 09:32 AM
uttertosh     

dittybopper:
[lightenupfrancis.jpg]


How about, no.jpg Trollfitajävel.

14 Dec 2012 09:34 AM
doczoidberg     
I used to frequent a website that was largely undercover pictures of nude female sunbathers.
Dudes would sneak their cameras on to the beaches, and photograph the good looking ones without their knowledge.

Almost ALL of the shots came from European beaches.

14 Dec 2012 10:16 AM
5monkeys    [TotalFark]  

Flab: the_celt: So God hates nudity?

It's a major plot point in the first part of the Bible.


Well played

14 Dec 2012 10:37 AM
Fissile     

ChipNASA: 80/15/5% rule

80% of the folks that are at a beach nude, should NOT be.
15% of the folks that SHOULD be, are not and
5% of the ones that you want to see nude, are.

/if you're reading this you're part of the 80% unless your initials are GD.
//or a few other farkettes who shall remain nameless
///unless you want to out yourself
////In before EIP?


===============

Done. I've been to Sandy Hook once.............once was enough.

/What was seen can not be unseen.

14 Dec 2012 10:42 AM
Basily Gourt     

Dubai Vol: When I lived in Germany in the 1980s there was a postage-stamp-sized lake a few klicks from my Kaseerne. The beach was grass, and there was a small stand of trees in the center. Right of the trees, clothing was worn, left of the trees, clothing was optional.

One day, the lake was the site of the swimming portion of a triathlon. Participants swam the lake, then stripped naked and put on their cycling clothes. Big farking deal.

I was reminded that America is a country founded by people too uptight for the English.


Yep. While there are a few pretty nice nude beaches in the USA, my wife and I go to europe for 2 weeks every year to get our all over tans.

Just a different attitude there. Nobody really gives a fark. They've seen it all before. 

/On a related note, it's better to see fat european men naked than standing around in a speedo. They really should outlaw those things.

14 Dec 2012 10:43 AM
5monkeys    [TotalFark]  

brimed03: Been to Gunnison a number of times. It's true: the hanky panky is at the far end of the beach, the other 85% of it is browned retirees and a handful of girls pretending European nonchalance. Plus the odd Fark-- I mean, pervert.

/haven't been back since the chemo


I don't know if I could do it. Two problems, I am very pale so the sun is my enemy, and even though I am tiny I have huge body issues. More power to the people that have the balls to do it. Do they keep creeps with cameras away?

14 Dec 2012 10:44 AM
JustHereForThePics     

dittybopper:
Yeah, Germans have no problem getting people to strip naked (NSFW)


24.media.tumblr.comView Full Size


//hot

14 Dec 2012 10:46 AM
Basily Gourt     

5monkeys: brimed03: Been to Gunnison a number of times. It's true: the hanky panky is at the far end of the beach, the other 85% of it is browned retirees and a handful of girls pretending European nonchalance. Plus the odd Fark-- I mean, pervert.

/haven't been back since the chemo

I don't know if I could do it. Two problems, I am very pale so the sun is my enemy, and even though I am tiny I have huge body issues. More power to the people that have the balls to do it. Do they keep creeps with cameras away?


There was a time when they did at most beaches, but with smartphones, that is impossible to enforce today.

The best thing to do is to stay away from "clothing optional" beaches. Stick to the smaller beaches where it's not an option.

14 Dec 2012 10:51 AM
meta1hed     
If you wouldn't go to a nude beach that was deserted, you shouldn't go to a nude beach. Go because you like being naked at the beach.

14 Dec 2012 10:55 AM
Half Right     

5monkeys: brimed03: Been to Gunnison a number of times. It's true: the hanky panky is at the far end of the beach, the other 85% of it is browned retirees and a handful of girls pretending European nonchalance. Plus the odd Fark-- I mean, pervert.

/haven't been back since the chemo

I don't know if I could do it. Two problems, I am very pale so the sun is my enemy, and even though I am tiny I have huge body issues. More power to the people that have the balls to do it. Do they keep creeps with cameras away?


I went a couple times with an ex. We were definitely on the younger/better looking end of the spectrum, but we felt welcome. And it is wonderfully freeing to not worry about clothes and to swim naked.

As for creeps--there was definitely a steady stream (1 every 5 minutes or so) of fully clothed, usually hispanic, single, middle-aged men walking up the beach blatantly looking at the people, not the scenery.
BUT, they passed by quickly and kept moving, since they knew that if they slowed down they'd be driven away by the crowds--the sense of community and openness was quite nice. So you learn quickly to just ignore the creepers and enjoy the experience.

14 Dec 2012 10:59 AM
dittybopper    [TotalFark]  

uttertosh: dittybopper:
[lightenupfrancis.jpg]

How about, no.jpg Trollfitajävel.


i45.tinypic.comView Full Size

14 Dec 2012 11:37 AM
garandman1a     

ModernLuddite: Maybe God just hates nude beaches IN NEW JERSEY.


Especially that one.

We passed by twice on a friends boat. Now it might of just been the two times we were there, but to a person we all (males and females) looked for one person that anyone would want to see naked. Nothing even close.

14 Dec 2012 11:39 AM
uttertosh     

dittybopper: uttertosh: dittybopper:
[lightenupfrancis.jpg]

How about, no.jpg Trollfitajävel.

[i45.tinypic.com image 630x354]

'
u dun trold me gud. u da bes. u got me mad. u got me sad fr reals >:*-(

My grandmother, who escaped a very similar scene to the one you just posted, died last week.

14 Dec 2012 12:23 PM
another cultural observer     
www.90smovies.netView Full Size


They got nude beaches?

Not in the winter.

14 Dec 2012 12:59 PM
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