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   Vodka saves elephants from freezing to death in Siberian forest - "Dude, I think I'm trunk"

14 Dec 2012 10:29 AM   |   4191 clicks   |   Short List
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lenfromak    [TotalFark]  
It's vodak.

14 Dec 2012 10:31 AM
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Frankenstorm     
Ivory told you, you've had enough to drink.

14 Dec 2012 10:31 AM
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BolshyGreatYarblocks     
www.belgianbeerschiangmai.com

14 Dec 2012 10:32 AM
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BigNumber12     
What's vodka?

14 Dec 2012 10:32 AM
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Archie Goodwin     
You would need a mammoth amount of vodak.

14 Dec 2012 10:33 AM
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medius     
i2.listal.com

14 Dec 2012 10:34 AM
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greenboy     
In russia, the vodak drinks the elephants.

//got nothing.

14 Dec 2012 10:38 AM
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Grapple     
Willing to overlook the Vodak for the "trunk" line. Nice.

14 Dec 2012 10:48 AM
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megarian    [TotalFark]  

BolshyGreatYarblocks:


So delicious.

And dangerous.

14 Dec 2012 10:52 AM
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Harry Freakstorm    [TotalFark]  
I thought booze only made you think you weren't freezing to death as it slowly dehydrates you and allows you to go off to a sleepy frozen death.

Stupid Army training from funny Cold Weather survival manual.
And Gorky Park.

14 Dec 2012 10:54 AM
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THX 1138     

greenboy: In russia, the vodak drinks the elephants.


Damn you. Fewer than 10 comments and you already beat me to it.

14 Dec 2012 10:55 AM
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Now I Is!     
I thought the MythBusters proved that didn't work

14 Dec 2012 10:55 AM
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Nogale     
This far in and no Lindsay Lohan reference? Fark is slipping...

"Stranded Elephant" would be a good name for a novelty drink.

14 Dec 2012 10:57 AM
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Suckmaster Burstingfoam     
Typical Russian response. "Person/thing is suffering from X? Get the vodka."

In reality, alcohol is the worst thing for hypothermia - it increases blood flow to the skin, meaning your core temperature collapses a lot faster.

No wonder Russian male life expectancy is down to 60.

14 Dec 2012 10:59 AM
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Robert1966     
Isn't vodak the whole reason Russia has been able to colonize Siberia?

14 Dec 2012 10:59 AM
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SkylineRecords     

lenfromak: It's vodak.


Shut the fark up. It isn't funny, and you're disgracing the name of an excellent beverage.

14 Dec 2012 11:01 AM
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trappedspirit     
Yeah, here's my darwin tip for you if you ever find yourself needing to be warmed up and only alcohol is available. Drink it. It makes you feel warmer. And if you feel warmer, you must also be experiencing less the effects of the cold. And when the spring comes and you thaw out and start to smell, we'll be able to find you.

14 Dec 2012 11:02 AM
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Evil Mackerel     
They're conditioning the elephants for the mammoth cloning program.

14 Dec 2012 11:04 AM
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archbishop     

Harry Freakstorm: I thought booze only made you think you weren't freezing to death as it slowly dehydrates you and allows you to go off to a sleepy frozen death.

Stupid Army training from funny Cold Weather survival manual.
And Gorky Park.


I heard this on the radio this morning and had the same thought (but replace Army with wilderness first aid). And it got me thinking: maybe the BAC effect on an animal of that size is nothing compared to the raw caloric intake. But IANA-Zoologist.

14 Dec 2012 11:05 AM
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thedumbone     

Harry Freakstorm: I thought booze only made you think you weren't freezing to death as it slowly dehydrates you and allows you to go off to a sleepy frozen death.

Now I Is!: I thought the MythBusters proved that didn't work


Alcohol moves warm blood from your core to your extremities, so hypothermia happens faster but frostbite is delayed. Since they knew that they would be rescued quickly, and elephants don't have earmuffs, it sounds like a pretty good idea. Also, elephants with ears that are half gone from frostbite aren't worth the cost of feeding them, from a strictly business standpoint.

14 Dec 2012 11:05 AM
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Dirtybird971     
stupid effing link I don't care about mr hyde

14 Dec 2012 11:06 AM
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cgraves67     
Now I kinda want to thaw out some mammoths just to see if they are soaked in alcohol.

14 Dec 2012 11:07 AM
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Millennium     

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Typical Russian response. "Person/thing is suffering from X? Get the vodka."

In reality, alcohol is the worst thing for hypothermia - it increases blood flow to the skin, meaning your core temperature collapses a lot faster.

No wonder Russian male life expectancy is down to 60.


What else are they going to drink? It's the only thing liquid at room temperature.

14 Dec 2012 11:18 AM
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greenboy     

THX 1138: greenboy: In russia, the vodak drinks the elephants.

Damn you. Fewer than 10 comments and you already beat me to it.


It is sad that it took that many to get there.

14 Dec 2012 11:22 AM
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This text is now purple     

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Typical Russian response. "Person/thing is suffering from X? Get the vodka."

In reality, alcohol is the worst thing for hypothermia - it increases blood flow to the skin, meaning your core temperature collapses a lot faster.

No wonder Russian male life expectancy is down to 60.


The enhanced feeling of warmth from alcohol can serve to motivate people to continue moving and generating more body heat. So although it does act as a peripheral vasodilator, the increased heat loss can be offset by increased heat generation.

14 Dec 2012 11:23 AM
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JonnyBGoode    [TotalFark]  
It looks like whoever built that web page was nipping more than a bit at the vodak himself.

14 Dec 2012 11:38 AM
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Suckmaster Burstingfoam     

This text is now purple: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Typical Russian response. "Person/thing is suffering from X? Get the vodka."

In reality, alcohol is the worst thing for hypothermia - it increases blood flow to the skin, meaning your core temperature collapses a lot faster.

No wonder Russian male life expectancy is down to 60.

The enhanced feeling of warmth from alcohol can serve to motivate people to continue moving and generating more body heat. So although it does act as a peripheral vasodilator, the increased heat loss can be offset by increased heat generation.


Link to supporting medical studies or it didn't happen

14 Dec 2012 11:44 AM
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DerAppie     

thedumbone: Harry Freakstorm: I thought booze only made you think you weren't freezing to death as it slowly dehydrates you and allows you to go off to a sleepy frozen death.

Now I Is!: I thought the MythBusters proved that didn't work

Alcohol moves warm blood from your core to your extremities, so hypothermia happens faster but frostbite is delayed. Since they knew that they would be rescued quickly, and elephants don't have earmuffs, it sounds like a pretty good idea. Also, elephants with ears that are half gone from frostbite aren't worth the cost of feeding them, from a strictly business standpoint.


This. Add the fact that elephants are quite a bit larger and thus take longer to freeze to death would combine to produce elephants with pain in the ears instead of frozen ears and trunk.

And there was warm water in the vodka.

14 Dec 2012 11:51 AM
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Aquapope     
In people, alcohol dilates capillaries and cause massive heat loss. Maybe it's a little different in something as massive and thickly-skinned as elephants. I think we need more research - which means many more drunk elephants. Dangerous fun is the best fun.

When I was a kid I saw a documentary about Africa which showed a herd of elephants eating a bunch of fermented fruit. Falling-down drunk elephants are freaking funny!

/BTW: It's VODAK!

14 Dec 2012 12:40 PM
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Contents Under Pressure     
I guess the Russians have never heard of blankets.

14 Dec 2012 01:22 PM
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Suckmaster Burstingfoam     

Contents Under Pressure: I guess the Russians have never heard of blankets.


No, it's just that vodka is their answer to everything.

14 Dec 2012 01:26 PM
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icemanwol     
So, they just HAPPENED to have 10 liters of vodka with them. Gotta love russia

15 Dec 2012 01:52 PM
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