OK, that's a weird confluence...I went to FSU, and lived in both Loudoun and Sterling. I voted for Obama though, so there's that, I guess.

I think we can safely rule out Mitt Romney. He has finely honed his method of taking money from people.

FTFA:
"He was wearing what appears to be a Mitt Romney mask and a Florida State sweatshirt.

He got away with some cash.

Police are still investigating."

That's some hard-hitting detailed journalism, right there.

The headline reminded me of Virginia Woolf (from A Room of One's Own)
 
"But these contributions to the dangerous and fascinating subject of the
psychology of the other sex--it is one, I hope, that you will
investigate when you have five hundred a year of your own--were
interrupted by the necessity of paying the bill. It came to five
shillings and ninepence. I gave the waiter a ten-shilling note and he
went to bring me change. There was another ten-shilling note in my
purse; I noticed it, because it is a fact that still takes my breath
away the power of my purse to breed ten-shilling notes automatically. I
open it and there they are. Society gives me chicken and coffee, bed and
lodging, in return for a certain number of pieces of paper which were
left me by an aunt, for no other reason than that I share her name."

 

Nice. I'm headed off to the bank with my Warren Buffett mask.

"Why yes, I am Warren Buffett. I need some money for a night on the town. Can I have a bag with a big dollar sign on the side?"

Don't worry about it, he only got away with 47% of the cash.

corq: FTFA:
"He was wearing what appears to be a Mitt Romney mask and a Florida State sweatshirt.

He got away with some cash.

Police are still investigating."

That's some hard-hitting detailed journalism, right there.

Via TPM:

He should have demanded it in binders.

Ok -- I clicked the TFA read the header and laughed out loud.

Nice one

If he hadn't taken as much as he possibly could, he wouldn't have been qualified to be a bank robber.

Came to post this, thinking I was clever:

Then I realized subby had this covered.

"I want money" and the alarms going off, is a scene from an Elvis Presley movie.

Darling fascist bullyboy:

Give me some more money, you bastard.

May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman.

Neil

They must pay him minimum wage at Marriott.

Snarfangel: Nice. I'm headed off to the bank with my Warren Buffett mask.

"Why yes, I am Warren Buffett. I need some money for a night on the town. Can I have a bag with a big dollar sign on the side?"

This is silly.

Everybody knows these guy get their free money straight from the Federal Reserve.

/scoring an easy political point

Considering how Mitt is the poster boy for the modern day robber baron, are we sure it was actually a mask?

bdub77: I think we can safely rule out Mitt Romney. He has finely honed his method of taking money from people.

Not to mention, he's nowhere near DC.

mongbiohazard: Considering how Mitt is the poster boy for the modern day robber baron, are we sure it was actually a mask?

Yes, the face on the mask is clearly showing a recognisable human emotion.

mongbiohazard: Considering how Mitt is the poster boy for the modern day robber baron, are we sure it was actually a mask?

Bank tellers first suspected that the man was not actually Mitt Romney because he was smiling less awkwardly than usual.

Tiber727: mongbiohazard: Considering how Mitt is the poster boy for the modern day robber baron, are we sure it was actually a mask?

Bank tellers first suspected that the man was not actually Mitt Romney because he was smiling less awkwardly than usual.

The robber was smart, though. When asked how he wanted the money, he said "Cold. Hard. Cash."

Banks take money from us all the time; turnabout is fair play.

jack21221: Banks take money from us all the time; turnabout is fair play.

Walk into a bank with a note reading "THIS IS A BAILOUT!"

Pants full of macaroni!!: Darling fascist bullyboy:

Give me some more money, you bastard.

May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman.

Neil

Boomshanka

Approve.

"We are the dead presidents, plus Mitt!"

mlorton:"We are the dead presidents, plus Mitt!"

"ex-presidents" and Carter is still alive :)

corq: FTFA:
"He was wearing what appears to be a Mitt Romney mask and a Florida State sweatshirt.

He got away with some cash.

Police are still investigating."

That's some hard-hitting detailed journalism, right there.

Well, to be fair the editor did say "Write it up in 60 words or less".