(full site)
Fark.com

Back To Main
   Suicide bomber fails to kill any targets, wounds three, will get prorated 12 goats and a loose adulteress in heaven

14 Dec 2012 02:25 PM   |   5218 clicks   |   Yahoo
Add Comment
Showing 1-50 of 69 comments
Refresh Page 2
View Comments:
The Stealth Hippopotamus    [TotalFark]  
More than what he had down here.

Praise Allah.

14 Dec 2012 11:08 AM
Reply
kid_icarus    [TotalFark]  
I guess you could say he went out with a bang.

14 Dec 2012 11:40 AM
Reply
MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
The important part of the headline is "suicide bomber"

/that part worked like a charm

14 Dec 2012 11:43 AM
Reply
palelizard     
So, really one target?

14 Dec 2012 11:51 AM
Reply
trivial use of my dark powers     

The Stealth Hippopotamus: More than what he had down here.

Praise Allah.


done in one.

14 Dec 2012 12:01 PM
Reply
ITGreen     
To repeat a tired but relevant cliche:

"And nothing of value was lost."

14 Dec 2012 12:09 PM
Reply
jmadisonbiii     
www.jugglingcats.com

Was he driving a Volkswagen?

14 Dec 2012 12:10 PM
Reply
gilgigamesh    [TotalFark]  
[Imokwiththis.jpg]

14 Dec 2012 12:32 PM
Reply
BigSnatch    [TotalFark]  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: The important part of the headline is "suicide bomber"

/that part worked like a charm


Yeah, I'd say he was successful.

14 Dec 2012 12:45 PM
Reply
Dirtybird971     
hah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

oh subby you brightened an otherwise depressing day.

+10 for you

14 Dec 2012 02:29 PM
Reply
Mega Steve     
Ever notice that it's always the low man on the totem pole that has to do the suicide bombings? None of the leaders ever get out and do that shiat.

REG: Solidarity, brother.
BRIAN: Oh, yes. Solidarity, Reg.

14 Dec 2012 02:30 PM
Reply
cig-mkr     
Once a loser, always a loser.

14 Dec 2012 02:31 PM
Reply
Odd Bird     
if it weren't for the 3 he wounded, I would've gone with the Amusing tag.

14 Dec 2012 02:33 PM
Reply
Hoblit     
AW, c'mon guys, he just needs a second chance! He'll get it right, next time!

14 Dec 2012 02:34 PM
Reply
uncleacid     
Finished last in his class at SBU.

14 Dec 2012 02:37 PM
Reply
2MS     

The Stealth Hippopotamus: More than what he had down here.

Praise Allah.


And, once again you remind me why I have you favorited.

14 Dec 2012 02:37 PM
Reply
Dr Dreidel    [TotalFark]  
profile.ak.fbcdn.net

It's not funny!

14 Dec 2012 02:38 PM
Reply
Keizer_Ghidorah     
images2.wikia.nocookie.net

"The moral of this story is, don't buy your explosives from ACME."

14 Dec 2012 02:38 PM
Reply
MasterThief     
Oh, I needed a laugh today. Thanks, subby.

14 Dec 2012 02:38 PM
Reply
cgraves67     

uncleacid: Finished last in his class at SBU.


They don't have a very good record, but SBU's football games are a blast!

14 Dec 2012 02:39 PM
Reply
Hoblit     
ha @ the 10 second 'simulpost'

14 Dec 2012 02:40 PM
Reply
cig-mkr     
So I guess he won't be getting his severance pay now?
He didn't complete his task.

14 Dec 2012 02:42 PM
Reply
Hoblit     
cig-mkr I'd say he got his 'severance' pay in full.

14 Dec 2012 02:47 PM
Reply
Ivo Shandor    [TotalFark]  
Good thing he was a suicide bomber, not a homicide bomber.

14 Dec 2012 02:48 PM
Reply
Dunnski     
But I was told in all of the school shooting threads that making a bomb and killing lots of people was just as easy as using a gun.

14 Dec 2012 02:49 PM
Reply
LargeCanine     
+1 subby.

14 Dec 2012 02:50 PM
Reply
Bob the Internet Barbarian     

Dr Dreidel: [profile.ak.fbcdn.net image 129x129]

It's not funny!


He had a "premature detonation".

/SILENCE!

14 Dec 2012 02:50 PM
Reply
cefm     
I'd rather have one loose adultress than 20 stuck-up virgins any day.

14 Dec 2012 02:52 PM
Reply
JesusJuice     
One down, 1.6 billion to go.

14 Dec 2012 02:55 PM
Reply
CygnusDarius     

cefm: I'd rather have one loose adultress than 20 stuck-up virgins any day.


This.

Or, a virgin that has been taught tricks by an adultress.

Then again...

static.tvtome.com

14 Dec 2012 02:55 PM
Reply
cgraves67     

The Stealth Hippopotamus: More than what he had down here.

Praise Allah.


But what will he do once he stones the adulteress and has deflowered all the goats?

14 Dec 2012 03:00 PM
Reply
Langdon Alger     
Plus now he has to eat bacon and pork chops

14 Dec 2012 03:01 PM
Reply
angryjd     
So here we have a suicide bomber that is actually not a homicide bomber. How is Fox News going to describe this?

14 Dec 2012 03:03 PM
Reply
Gonz     

Odd Bird: if it weren't for the 3 he wounded, I would've gone with the Amusing tag.


Depending on what the wounds are, I still might. Anything less than a broken limb, I'm kind of OK with.

14 Dec 2012 03:03 PM
Reply
NutWrench    [TotalFark]  
What the suicide bombers don't realize is that their 72 virgins are all big, hairy guys.

With enormous wangs.

14 Dec 2012 03:04 PM
Reply
cgraves67     

angryjd: So here we have a suicide bomber that is actually not a homicide bomber. How is Fox News going to describe this?


attempted homicide bomber

14 Dec 2012 03:04 PM
Reply
Sock Ruh Tease     

CygnusDarius: cefm: I'd rather have one loose adultress than 20 stuck-up virgins any day.

This.

Or, a virgin that has been taught tricks by an adultress.

Then again...

[static.tvtome.com image 450x254]


There is no word for "fails to kill any targets" in Dothraki

14 Dec 2012 03:05 PM
Reply
upndn     

Ivo Shandor: Good thing he was a suicide bomber, not a homicide bomber.


good thing.

thanks for the chuckle.

14 Dec 2012 03:11 PM
Reply
DownDaRiver    [TotalFark]  
I'm not a farmer or an Arab dude. So I don't really know what I'd do with some goats. So I guess I would see about trading them for some crack and booze.
Then me an the loose adulteress could have a really good weekend in Vegas.

/what does one do with goats?

14 Dec 2012 03:11 PM
Reply
wildcardjack     

Gonz: Odd Bird: if it weren't for the 3 he wounded, I would've gone with the Amusing tag.

Depending on what the wounds are, I still might. Anything less than a broken limb, I'm kind of OK with.


There's a touch of Russian Roulette there. "I got blown up by a suicide bomber and all I got was a black eye and a mouth full of minced idiot"

14 Dec 2012 03:12 PM
Reply
Glancing Blow     
The ultimate insult is the guy in the background pissing on the burning wreck.



/Well, it kinda looks like that.

14 Dec 2012 03:13 PM
Reply
Arkanaut     
Makes me wonder though. Maybe this guy got set up? Maybe the other terrorists were like, "Man, Ahmed just wouldn't shut up about all the virgins he's going to get. Let's give him the shiatty bomb, that'll show him."

14 Dec 2012 03:13 PM
Reply
Arkanaut     

DownDaRiver: I'm not a farmer or an Arab dude. So I don't really know what I'd do with some goats. So I guess I would see about trading them for some crack and booze.
Then me an the loose adulteress could have a really good weekend in Vegas.

/what does one do with goats?


You could bring the goats with you. Have you tried asking the adulteress if she has some ideas for what to do with the goats?

14 Dec 2012 03:17 PM
Reply
HotWingConspiracy    [TotalFark]  

cefm: I'd rather have one loose adultress than 20 stuck-up virgins any day.


Yeah really. What religion offers MILFs in heaven?

14 Dec 2012 03:20 PM
Reply
SR_NightBane     

HotWingConspiracy: cefm: I'd rather have one loose adultress than 20 stuck-up virgins any day.

Yeah really. What religion offers MILFs in heaven?


Asatru, no way chicks serving mead in a viking hall are chaste.

14 Dec 2012 03:25 PM
Reply
God-is-a-Taco     

Glancing Blow: The ultimate insult is the guy in the background pissing on the burning wreck.



/Well, it kinda looks like that.


He must do some extreme kegels- look at that stream.

14 Dec 2012 03:25 PM
Reply
Nurglitch     
Seventy two? Osama told me ninety-nine!

/Postal

14 Dec 2012 03:27 PM
Reply
Dixon Cider     
Fark 72 virgins... Can I have 36 sluts and we call it a day?

14 Dec 2012 03:30 PM
Reply
thatboyoverthere     

HotWingConspiracy: cefm: I'd rather have one loose adultress than 20 stuck-up virgins any day.

Yeah really. What religion offers MILFs in heaven?


I call dibs on Ava Devine. She looks like one of the few porn starts that enjoy her job.

14 Dec 2012 03:33 PM
Reply
The Stealth Hippopotamus    [TotalFark]  

cgraves67: But what will he do once he stones the adulteress and has deflowered all the goats?


It's Heaven! You get to do it all again the next day!

14 Dec 2012 03:34 PM
Reply
Showing 1-50 of 69 comments
Refresh Page 2
View Comments:
This thread is closed to new comments.


Back To Main

More Headlines:
Main | Sports | Business | Geek | Entertainment | Politics | Video | FarkUs | Contests | Fark Party | Combined