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   In other news, Mike Huckabee is a total ass

14 Dec 2012 11:02 PM   |   37475 clicks   |   Talking Points Memo
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BSABSVR     
Yeah, well, was it a lack of God in his life that made your son capture and strangle a dog?

14 Dec 2012 05:35 PM
ToxicMunkee     
"[W]e've made it a place where we don't want to talk about eternity, life, what responsibility means, accountability..."

WE HAVE CHURCHES FOR ALL OF THAT. And parents should take care of that at home.

14 Dec 2012 05:37 PM
MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
Take a flying f*ck, Huck

14 Dec 2012 05:38 PM
Counter_Intelligent     
No, it's not. Fark you, Huckabee, you opportunistic piece of shiat.

14 Dec 2012 05:39 PM
Pituophis    [TotalFark]  

14 Dec 2012 05:44 PM
AdolfOliverPanties     
Go eat a pound of butter and have a major myocardial event, you fat piece of shiat.

And you're a shiatty bass player too, asshole.

14 Dec 2012 05:46 PM
BritneysSpeculum    [TotalFark]  
Huckabee's god is a real asswipe.

14 Dec 2012 05:49 PM
Elzar     
How about we trust in God to protect us by removing our 2nd amendment rights or would that be too much to ask of supply-side jesus?

14 Dec 2012 05:52 PM
gilgigamesh     
How much do you want to bet that within five minutes of this statement either he or some other Fox bobblehead accused President Obama of "politicizing this tragedy" in the address he made today?

14 Dec 2012 05:52 PM
SnakeLee    [TotalFark]  
What about when your son tortured that dog at summer camp, then you tried to cover up the investigation by using your powers as Governor? Wasn't God there then, or did you push him out of your family?

14 Dec 2012 05:55 PM
Sin_City_Superhero    [TotalFark]  
They want religion taught in schools, but ONLY Christianity. Make no mistake, they'd fight Islam, tooth and nail.

14 Dec 2012 05:56 PM
gilgigamesh     

SnakeLee: What about when your son tortured that dog at summer camp, then you tried to cover up the investigation by using your powers as Governor? Wasn't God there then, or did you push him out of your family?


I think the answer is pretty obvious when you consider that dog is the opposite of God.

14 Dec 2012 05:59 PM
Weaver95     
I think i'm gonna sit this massacre out. I'll pick up with the next cycle of carnage and violence.

14 Dec 2012 06:03 PM
what_now    [TotalFark]  

Weaver95: I think i'm gonna sit this massacre out. I'll pick up with the next cycle of carnage and violence.


So.. Wednesday?

14 Dec 2012 06:08 PM
Weaver95     

what_now: Weaver95: I think i'm gonna sit this massacre out. I'll pick up with the next cycle of carnage and violence.

So.. Wednesday?


*sigh*

probably.

14 Dec 2012 06:10 PM
Abzzstain    [TotalFark]  
Yet when God sent killers to prison, Mike Huckabee decided he knew better and had them released.

Guys like Wayne Dumond and Maurice Clemons. They were safely locked away, but Huckabee engineered their releases. Dumond went on to rape and kill two more women, and Clemons killed four cops.

14 Dec 2012 06:19 PM
djkutch    [TotalFark]  
One would think God could put Himself back in school, Mike. What, with being the Almighty and all.

14 Dec 2012 06:25 PM
Runs_With_Scissors_     
Paul Todd @ptodd62

These gun massacres don't routinely occur in Europe because God is present in public schools. Oh, wait....

14 Dec 2012 06:30 PM
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
Anything to avoid talking about guns.

14 Dec 2012 06:35 PM
corgic    [TotalFark]  
If this is Huckabee's god's reaction to removing prayer from schools, then his god is a dick

14 Dec 2012 06:37 PM
Weaver95     

corgic: If this is Huckabee's god's reaction to removing prayer from schools, then his god is a dick


it seems as if Huckabee (and others of his kind) are saying 'worship my god or he will keep killing your children'.

14 Dec 2012 06:50 PM
snuffy    [TotalFark]  
say amen to that, subs.

14 Dec 2012 06:52 PM
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
What a school with lots of praying and God may look like:

www.shalomlife.comView Full Size


Those folks are never violent, right?

14 Dec 2012 06:58 PM
WorldCitizen     

djkutch: One would think God could put Himself back in school, Mike. What, with being the Almighty and all.


Seriously. How pathetic is your god if he can't get into an elementary school without the government's permission?

14 Dec 2012 06:58 PM
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  

Pituophis: Okay, Huck, please explain this one to me, then.

Oh right. Wrong diety.


Here's some with the RIGHT deity:

Authorities arrest man suspected of killing 1 at Georgia megachurch

Congregation comes together one year after two killed in sanctuary

Church shooting over graffiti outrages L.A. neighborhood

Church shooting victim's family breaks silence; suspect waives another hearing

And that's just from the FIRST PAGE of a Google search for "church shooting".

14 Dec 2012 07:08 PM
Bontesla     

Weaver95: corgic: If this is Huckabee's god's reaction to removing prayer from schools, then his god is a dick

it seems as if Huckabee (and others of his kind) are saying 'worship my god or he will keep killing your children'.


This.

14 Dec 2012 07:24 PM
Bontesla     

Bontesla: Weaver95: corgic: If this is Huckabee's god's reaction to removing prayer from schools, then his god is a dick

it seems as if Huckabee (and others of his kind) are saying 'worship my god or he will keep killing your children'.

This.


On a completely unrelated note... I'm replying from my cell and SwiftKey suggested, "This" will likely be followed by: Obviously, WTF, and/or FFS.

Oh SwiftKey. You know me so well.

14 Dec 2012 07:27 PM
Ambivalence    [TotalFark]  

Pituophis: Okay, Huck, please explain this one to me, then.

Oh right. Wrong diety.


If only George Tiller could be here to comment. Too bad he was gunned down in the middle of his church.

14 Dec 2012 08:04 PM
Lionel Mandrake    [TotalFark]  

I was trying to come up with something witty and profound to post, but all I can think of is


SHUT THE F*CK UpharkABEE, YOU COCK

14 Dec 2012 09:47 PM
Lionel Mandrake    [TotalFark]  
nice fiterpwn...but I'm sure y'all get the point

14 Dec 2012 09:49 PM
Lenny_da_Hog    [TotalFark]  
Did anyone point out to him that it wasn't the elementary school students doing the shooting?

14 Dec 2012 09:52 PM
ignatius_crumbcake     

Sin_City_Superhero: They want religion taught in schools, but ONLY Christianity. Make no mistake, they'd fight Islam, tooth and nail.


An entertaining solution to these people is to tell them that they worship the same God that Muslims do. They never believe you. Then they look it up and stop talking to you. Win/win.

Whenever I see my crazy fundie cousin I ask her what she and Allah talked about in church on Sunday.

14 Dec 2012 09:53 PM
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  

Lionel Mandrake: nice fiterpwn...but I'm sure y'all get the point


"Phark"?

14 Dec 2012 09:54 PM
Weaver95     

Lenny_da_Hog: Did anyone point out to him that it wasn't the elementary school students doing the shooting?


I think the GOP is trying to tell us that unless we stop being a bunch of atheist commie pagan heathens and start worshiping Republican Jesus RIGHT NOW...then more kids will die every day until we stop being different. Because if there's one thing that Jesus wanted, its to kill kids until finally everyone starts being peaceful and nice to their neighbors.

14 Dec 2012 09:58 PM
Mentat    [TotalFark]  
Fark you Republican God. If you can't make a point that doesn't involve killing 20 kindergartners, then maybe it's time you move on to another galaxy.

14 Dec 2012 09:59 PM
Coco LaFemme     
To quote Kurt Vonnegut, why don't you to take a flying fark at a rolling donut, you fat piece of fundamentalist slime.

14 Dec 2012 10:08 PM
Runs_With_Scissors_     
Your god sucks, Huckabee.

14 Dec 2012 10:10 PM
SnarfVader     
Mike Huckabee believes the same thing the Westboro Baptist Church believes, apparently. Nice company to keep. Ass.

14 Dec 2012 10:20 PM
abb3w    [TotalFark]  
I do wonder which way the correlation would run to local community religiosity relative to the US national median for such incidents. Is Mike Huckabee confident enough of the direction that he'd be willing to pledge, if it happens to go the other way, to start arguing Christianity should be banned from schools?

14 Dec 2012 10:21 PM
alienated     

Coco LaFemme: To quote Kurt Vonnegut, why don't you to take a flying fark at a rolling donut, you fat piece of fundamentalist slime Why don't you take a flying fark at the mooooooooooooon?.

Quote the man, try to get it right, even if your heart is in the right place ...

14 Dec 2012 10:23 PM
trivial use of my dark powers     

Weaver95: what_now: Weaver95: I think i'm gonna sit this massacre out. I'll pick up with the next cycle of carnage and violence.

So.. Wednesday?

*sigh*

probably.


There, there.

14 Dec 2012 10:25 PM
Pavia_Resistance    [TotalFark]  

ToxicMunkee: "[W]e've made it a place where we don't want to talk about eternity, life, what responsibility means, accountability..."

WE HAVE CHURCHES FOR ALL OF THAT. And parents should take care of that at home.


Apparently churches (and God) need the government's help. Not very bootstrappy if you ask me.

/Huckabeee can EABOD on this one

14 Dec 2012 10:31 PM
Coco LaFemme     

alienated: Coco LaFemme: To quote Kurt Vonnegut, why don't you to take a flying fark at a rolling donut, you fat piece of fundamentalist slime Why don't you take a flying fark at the mooooooooooooon?.
Quote the man, try to get it right, even if your heart is in the right place ...


I did quote the man right. The "fat piece of fundamentalist slime" was my contribution.

14 Dec 2012 10:31 PM
abb3w    [TotalFark]  

Pavia_Resistance: Apparently churches (and God) need the government's help. Not very bootstrappy if you ask me.


2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

What does God need with a government?

lochgarry.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

What does God need with a public school?


14 Dec 2012 10:39 PM
trivial use of my dark powers     

abb3w: I do wonder which way the correlation would run to local community religiosity relative to the US national median for such incidents. Is Mike Huckabee confident enough of the direction that he'd be willing to pledge, if it happens to go the other way, to start arguing Christianity should be banned from schools?


Correlation? That sounds like math talk to me. Math uses Arabic numbers, therefore it is of and from Satan's own butthole and I can only assume you are as well, you atheist Islamic Nazi Socialist pervert.

14 Dec 2012 10:42 PM
MrEricSir     
Right, because obviously if you teach kids about religion there's no way their parent will come to the school and kill a few dozen people.

Makes total sense.

14 Dec 2012 11:05 PM
zulius     

Counter_Intelligent: No, it's not. Fark you, Huckabee, you opportunistic piece of shiat.

That's all there is about this, really...

14 Dec 2012 11:05 PM
Godscrack     
Oh yeah, this is real news.

14 Dec 2012 11:05 PM
L.D. Ablo    [TotalFark]  
How funny, because Jebus is everywhere in prisons and jails.

I spent a few years doing criminal defense.

Somehow, somehow, every client found Jebus some time between conviction and sentencing. It was a miracle!

When going in for sentencing, I'd be begged to argue how their new religious conversion should mean a lighter sentence because they're now a Good Person.

Judges usually rolled their eyes and went by the usual sentencing guidelines.

Curiously, a lot of those clients would reoffend. Unbelievable! After they came to Jebus, how is that even possible?

14 Dec 2012 11:06 PM
diaphoresis     
I wanna have Huck's kids

14 Dec 2012 11:06 PM
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