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   How to explain the Mayan doomsday to your child. You know, in case you can't find any serious situations in real life that are sad and unpleasant to discuss

15 Dec 2012 08:38 AM   |   2762 clicks   |   Mother Nature Network
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jakepowers     
This should have been titled "assume your child is dumb and you're a bad parent"

15 Dec 2012 08:42 AM
abhorrent1     
I'll tell you how. Don't.

15 Dec 2012 08:43 AM
Brother_Mouzone     
Never mind the 20 dead kids in the corner, child, you need to know about something that is less believable than ghosts.

15 Dec 2012 08:48 AM
sgnilward    [TotalFark]  
Fark you, MNN, you're as good as Huckabee today.

15 Dec 2012 08:52 AM
Gunny Walker     
Here's how you explain it:
"Some people are idiots who'll believe the craziest things."

15 Dec 2012 08:56 AM
lenfromak    [TotalFark]  

Gunny Walker: Here's how you explain it:
"Some people are idiots who'll believe the craziest things."


It took five, but it's done.

15 Dec 2012 08:58 AM
Evil Mackerel     
Yesterday tried really hard to be the death of joy. The Mayan doomsday came once they were fully assimilated.

15 Dec 2012 08:59 AM
Publikwerks     
Well see, they wrote all this bank softwarea Calandar, and, uh, to save space, they used two digits for the date instead of fourstopped going 5000 years into their future.

15 Dec 2012 09:09 AM
OtherLittleGuy    [TotalFark]  

Brother_Mouzone: Never mind the 20 dead kids in the corner, child, you need to know about something that is less believable than ghosts.


Unless you believe that the 20 dead kids are ghosts.

/amidoinitrite?

15 Dec 2012 09:11 AM
Sahrial     
not so much for the 20 ghosts... most have moved on. Three from the back, by the fish tank still cry.

15 Dec 2012 09:13 AM
RanDomino     
Basically they cut down all the trees and otherwise overharvested natural resources to feed an economy that was designed to pamper an elite oligarchy that was living on the backs of the vast majority of the population that did all the real work, causing an ecological and social collapse.

/wait, what?
//...never mind.

15 Dec 2012 09:16 AM
emonk     
Looks like kids.gov is overfunded.

15 Dec 2012 09:19 AM
Deep Contact     
If you want to make a quick buck son, write a book about doomsday. Sucker born every minute.

15 Dec 2012 09:21 AM
Sahrial     

Deep Contact: If you want to make a quick buck son, write a book about doomsday. Sucker born every minute.


No true words have been said.

15 Dec 2012 09:22 AM
Fark_Guy_Rob     
I'm worried if I tell my children about stupid made up crap being fake they won't believe the stupid made up crap I want them to think is real. What ever shall I do?

15 Dec 2012 09:53 AM
coeyagi     
Can the right-wing blowhards stage a "They're coming for our guns!" counter-offensive in the next 6 days that escalates into a global apocalypse? Stay tuned, kiddies!

15 Dec 2012 09:53 AM
aevorea     
I teach at a public high school and many of my 'kids' are freaking out over this. One is so freaked out that he's moved beyond being scared and has entered the anger phase: "Why are people just sitting around and waiting for it to happen? Can't we do anything to stop it?"

Also, on Dec. 12, 2012, the kids wanted to stop class at 12:12pm. They acted as if it was New Year's - they were cheering and taking pictures and insisted I take a screenshot of my computer's date and time. I gave them about two minutes to 'celebrate' and sent them back to reading Lord of the Flies.

*sigh* Five more days till winter break starts.

/Freshmen
//Bleck

15 Dec 2012 09:56 AM
Bedstead Polisher     

jakepowers: This should have been titled "assume your child is dumb and you're a bad parent"


Children are dumb. That's the point of the article. How to not tell your kid that they're stupid for believing what they hear on tv, on the playground etc.

15 Dec 2012 09:57 AM
dennysgod     
FTA :How to explain Mayan doomsday to your kids
Kids.gov offers tips to help parents and other caregivers help alleviate kids' fears about doomsday rumors.
By
Jeanna Bryner, LiveScience
Thu, Dec 13 2012 at 7:00 PM



Shame on MNN, they should have know there was going to be a mass shooting at an elementary school the next day.

15 Dec 2012 10:08 AM
cryinoutloud     

RanDomino: Basically they cut down all the trees and otherwise overharvested natural resources to feed an economy that was designed to pamper an elite oligarchy that was living on the backs of the vast majority of the population that did all the real work, causing an ecological and social collapse.
/wait, what?
//...never mind.


So they wrote a calendar for 5000 years, but they lived like there was no tomorrow? That sounds just like--wait, I think I see where you were going with that.

15 Dec 2012 10:24 AM
meat0918     
I dunno, my kids watched the hype over Camping's predictions, saw the billboards, all of that, but they thought it was odd someone would take the word of a random guy that the world was gonna end. They thought it even more odd after we explained that people have been predicting the end of the world since we started recording human history, and probably before that too, and not one of them have been right.

They aren't even phased by this one.

15 Dec 2012 10:25 AM
KiwDaWabbit     
If you're compelled to teach your kids anything about the Mayans, teach them that the Mayans didn't see the Spanish coming.

15 Dec 2012 10:27 AM
pearls before swine     
So, what subby is suggesting is if your kids actually are worried about what they've overheard from morons about the end of the world, instead of explaining the truth to them and alleviating their fears, it's better to give them more tangible threats to worry about.

Genius parenting.

15 Dec 2012 10:30 AM
BMFPitt     

meat0918: I dunno, my kids watched the hype over Camping's predictions, saw the billboards, all of that, but they thought it was odd someone would take the word of a random guy that the world was gonna end. They thought it even more odd after we explained that people have been predicting the end of the world since we started recording human history, and probably before that too, and not one of them have been right.

They aren't even phased by this one.


Well yeah if you want to raise your kids to use logic, that's one way to go.

But some people need to have the government create a website for them that they can just give their kids a link to and get back to their beer.

// How come it's acceptable to point and laugh at people who believe in the Mayan religion, but not contemporary religions?

15 Dec 2012 10:41 AM
offmymeds     
This article could also help you explain the Mayan Doomsday to stupid adults.

15 Dec 2012 11:25 AM
Morgellons     

BMFPitt: // How come it's acceptable to point and laugh at people who believe in the Mayan religion, but not contemporary religions?


I had a similar question a few years ago when mocking Scientology became mainstream.

In any case, here's hoping nobody euthanises their kids like they did ahead of Camping's last "prophecy"...

15 Dec 2012 11:26 AM
John Hopoate     

KiwDaWabbit: If you're compelled to teach your kids anything about the Mayans, teach them that the Mayans didn't see the Spanish coming.


Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

/posted from my comfy chair

15 Dec 2012 11:31 AM
WhippingBoy     
Just show them books about the Y2K "crisis". Same level of derp...

15 Dec 2012 11:34 AM
specialkae     
Not worried about the kid in my house. We have discussed this and as a matter of fact were talking about it last night. He's too intelligent to fall for this stupid doomsday stuff. We were worried about him and didn't want him afraid or doing something out of fear, so yeah, we've been talking about it. We didn't need a stupid website to explain to us how to have these conversations, either.

15 Dec 2012 11:37 AM
Generation_D    [TotalFark]  

BMFPitt: meat0918: I dunno, my kids watched the hype over Camping's predictions, saw the billboards, all of that, but they thought it was odd someone would take the word of a random guy that the world was gonna end. They thought it even more odd after we explained that people have been predicting the end of the world since we started recording human history, and probably before that too, and not one of them have been right.

They aren't even phased by this one.

Well yeah if you want to raise your kids to use logic, that's one way to go.

But some people need to have the government create a website for them that they can just give their kids a link to and get back to their beer.

// How come it's acceptable to point and laugh at people who believe in the Mayan religion, but not contemporary religions?


History is written by winners, baby

15 Dec 2012 11:40 AM
Nuclear Monk     

pearls before swine: So, what subby is suggesting is if your kids actually are worried about what they've overheard from morons about the end of the world, instead of explaining the truth to them and alleviating their fears, it's better to give them more tangible threats to worry about.

Genius parenting.


"Honey...you don't need to be worried about a comet destroying the earth. You are much more likely to be killed by a rabid bear."

15 Dec 2012 11:40 AM
brantgoose    [TotalFark]  

I blame this guy: 

lh3.googleusercontent.comView Full Size

Ashton Kutcher, inventor of
the Mayan Apocalypse Prank

Kids will buy that without blinking. 

Please, help me spread the hoax that the Mayan Prophecies were invented by Ashton Kutcher.

Alternative scenario: by dating Demi Moore, he unleashed the wrath of the Mayan gods and those guys don't fool around.

Except with their sisters. 

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

15 Dec 2012 11:41 AM
KrispyKritter     

RanDomino: Basically they cut down all the trees and otherwise overharvested natural resources to feed an economy that was designed to pamper an elite oligarchy that was living on the backs of the vast majority of the population that did all the real work, causing an ecological and social collapse.

/wait, what?
//...never mind.


kinda like what the UK did & American greed has done to itself and the rest of the world.

/because printed paper & useless possessions are really what life are all aboot!

15 Dec 2012 11:46 AM
Jon iz teh kewl     
just turn on Jay Leno and he'll explain to them about the Mayans

15 Dec 2012 12:03 PM
No Time To Explain     
I'm still surprised that the concept of cycling calendars (ones that have finite periods) is such a hard thing for some people to wrap their heads around and assume it must mean these human sacrificing, god worshipping people thought they knew when the world would end with their vast knowledge of sticks, fire and live sacrifice

/how'd this "theory" got even started is beyond me
//still waiting and going for z-day
///aren't we all?

15 Dec 2012 12:11 PM
offmymeds     

No Time To Explain: //still waiting and going for z-day


upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
 

You mean X-Day, don't you?

15 Dec 2012 12:20 PM
No Time To Explain     

offmymeds: No Time To Explain: //still waiting and going for z-day

 

You mean X-Day, don't you?


Maybe for being born just before it, nope

/I dare to dream...dare to dream

15 Dec 2012 12:27 PM
miniflea     

aevorea: I teach at a public high school and many of my 'kids' are freaking out over this. One is so freaked out that he's moved beyond being scared and has entered the anger phase: "Why are people just sitting around and waiting for it to happen? Can't we do anything to stop it?"


That would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad. Have you tried to explain in a calm, reasonable manner why the claims are nonsense?

15 Dec 2012 12:46 PM
gibbon1     

Gunny Walker: Here's how you explain it:
"Some people are idiots who'll believe the craziest things."


Dad.... is that you?

15 Dec 2012 02:08 PM
Gyrfalcon     
You have GOT to be kidding me.

[reads article]

oh, ffs.

15 Dec 2012 02:45 PM
Magnus     
I have four words for your kids - Gregorian calendar.

15 Dec 2012 03:05 PM
Jon iz teh kewl     

Magnus: I have four words for your kids - Gregorian calendar.


dun dun DUUUUN!!!

15 Dec 2012 03:07 PM
Suckmaster Burstingfoam     

aevorea: Also, on Dec. 12, 2012, the kids wanted to stop class at 12:12pm. They acted as if it was New Year's - they were cheering and taking pictures and insisted I take a screenshot of my computer's date and time. I gave them about two minutes to 'celebrate' and sent them back to reading Lord of the Flies.


Uh... I suspect that's your problem right there.

15 Dec 2012 05:58 PM
Suckmaster Burstingfoam     
"Kids.gov offers tips to help parents and other caregivers help alleviate kids' fears about other peoples' obviously false religions' doomsday rumors."

I mean, as opposed to the Revelation of John, Book of Daniel, the Left Behind series, and so on, which are all perfectly true and so you'd better get down with the Jebus.

15 Dec 2012 06:02 PM
laid back w/bud light     
I died 20 years ago when "the Rapture" came so I don't care.
/Fark Nostradomus too

15 Dec 2012 11:19 PM
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