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   Fishing guide jokingly claims in his logbook that he caught tuna and blue whales on a river outing, but Fish and Game isn't laughing

15 Dec 2012 08:08 AM   |   8573 clicks   |   Anchorage Daily News
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Nuclear Monk     
Sunny missed the chance for a chupacabra headline. NEVER miss a chance at a chupacabre headline.

15 Dec 2012 08:13 AM
styckx    [TotalFark]  
He did it in Alaska.. *facepalm*.. He got what he deserved.

15 Dec 2012 08:14 AM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
It wasn't very funny, but it doesn't seem like such a serious crime.

Surely the Alaskan authorities could have made him fill out a new log with the real information.

15 Dec 2012 08:15 AM
rnatalie    [TotalFark]  
Well, baramundi is a bloody big fish.

15 Dec 2012 08:15 AM
LewDux     
Maybe he meant "blew"?

15 Dec 2012 08:17 AM
styckx    [TotalFark]  

AverageAmericanGuy: It wasn't very funny, but it doesn't seem like such a serious crime.

Surely the Alaskan authorities could have made him fill out a new log with the real information.


Getting caught lying in a logbook in Alaska is like lying to a Texas cop about speeding.. You're gonna have a bad time..

15 Dec 2012 08:20 AM
NutWrench     
The Alaska State Troopers didn't see the humor and charged the Alabama man with "failure to complete logbook as required by Alaska Department of Fish and Game," reports Alaska Dispatch.

ichef.bbci.co.ukView Full Size
 
Dear Alaska State troopers. This is a blue whale. It is very very big.

15 Dec 2012 08:22 AM
cryinoutloud    [TotalFark]  
You don't lie in a logbook. You can lie to your passengers, your bar buddies, tourists, anybody you like--but you don't lie in your official document that might be looked at by law enforcement. If you'll fill that in wrong for a joke, what else might you lie about?

And now he knows.

15 Dec 2012 08:26 AM
Pockafrusta     
This just in.... Government workers have no sense of humor. Discretion? Alien concept.

/I R 1

15 Dec 2012 08:28 AM
Tanthalas39     

cryinoutloud: You don't lie in a logbook. You can lie to your passengers, your bar buddies, tourists, anybody you like--but you don't lie in your official document that might be looked at by law enforcement. If you'll fill that in wrong for a joke, what else might you lie about?

And now he knows.


When you tell a joke, are you lying? Bad idea to joke in the logbook, perhaps, but lying implies deceit. I'm confident that he didn't expect anyone to believe there were whales in the river.

/also disturbed that you are okay with lying to essentially anyone but the government, but okay with law enforcement not using any discretion whatsoever. Orson Welles would like a word with you

15 Dec 2012 08:36 AM
ModernLuddite     
El chupacabra is moving norte!

Surely this is due to global warming!

God help us if he makes it into Canada!

15 Dec 2012 08:52 AM
King Keepo     

Tanthalas39: When you tell a joke, are you lying? Bad idea to joke in the logbook, perhaps, but lying implies deceit


If he said he caught a whale in an official logbook and he didn't, then it's technically lying in the eyes of the official looking at the logs. Whether the officials believe him or not is almost irrelevant, he said he caught a whale and he didn't.

Alas, bureaucracy doesn't allow for humour. Otherwise they would have arrested him for killing a whale and chalked up the tuna against his catch allowance.

15 Dec 2012 08:52 AM
drjekel_mrhyde    [TotalFark]  
What a pansy, I caught 20' salt water crocodiles at Navy Pier

15 Dec 2012 09:21 AM
lizyrd     

Pockafrusta: This just in.... Government workers have no sense of humor. Discretion? Alien concept.

/I R 1


I'd say the government employee is using discretion. If the guy had made an innocent mistake, like a typo or leaving out a required section, the Fish and Game cops may have used their discretion to have him simply correct the error. When they see the guy being a smartass on an official document and now have to spend time and energy to track him down to resolve it, they use their discretion to turn the screws on him.

The guy may have thought it was funny, and you may think the cop's sense of humor needs adjusting, but all it represents to the cop is more work because some guy intentionally did his job wrong.

15 Dec 2012 09:25 AM
rnatalie    [TotalFark]  
They say I'd blown a seal.
I said fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, OK, pal?

15 Dec 2012 09:29 AM
cantsleep     
Sorry, but official log books are not the time for joking. I understand the kid was trying to be funny, but those log books are filled out for a good reason.

15 Dec 2012 09:38 AM
upndn     
Yea, something's fishy here, maybe he did it just for the halibut.

15 Dec 2012 09:40 AM
Sasquach     
Can they prove he didn't?

15 Dec 2012 09:42 AM
UNAUTHORIZED FINGER     
4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size


"I caught a fish 'this' big!"

15 Dec 2012 09:44 AM
HindiDiscoMonster     

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: "I caught a fish 'this' big!"


Nook... you owe me one

15 Dec 2012 09:59 AM
BolshyGreatYarblocks     
At least he's not punching squid in the face.

15 Dec 2012 10:04 AM
cryinoutloud    [TotalFark]  

Tanthalas39: When you tell a joke, are you lying? Bad idea to joke in the logbook, perhaps, but lying implies deceit. I'm confident that he didn't expect anyone to believe there were whales in the river.
/also disturbed that you are okay with lying to essentially anyone but the government, but okay with law enforcement not using any discretion whatsoever. Orson Welles would like a word with you


You take yourself very seriously, don't you? Fishermen......lying.....Never mind, I'm sure you've never heard that joke. You sound like you wouldn't know a joke if it bit you.

15 Dec 2012 10:09 AM
the ha ha guy     

Pockafrusta: This just in.... Government workers have no sense of humor. Discretion? Alien concept.


I know. I once made a joke on my tax return about donating a few hundred billion to charity...

15 Dec 2012 10:20 AM
A Shambling Mound     
Troopers doubt the validity of Terry's logbook. Expert anglers say it would be impossible to land a blue whale on sport-fishing gear. There has never been a verified report of a tuna in the Kasilof. Scientists have yet to find a jack beluga. And though Alaska has coyotes, those with serious mange rarely survive the winter, and none are known to swim and take bait in Alaska rivers.

That is a collection of some of the most painfully obvious statements I have ever seen made in print outside of a Ric Romero article. I love the fact that they apparently spoke with an "expert angler" to get his perspective on the likelihood of catching a blue whale with a sport-fishing rig. In a river.

That said, don't f*ck around with legally required documentation. Odds are pretty good that no one is going to be amused.

15 Dec 2012 10:35 AM
Clemkadidlefark     
Government = no sense of humor

15 Dec 2012 10:39 AM
Tanthalas39     

cryinoutloud: Tanthalas39: When you tell a joke, are you lying? Bad idea to joke in the logbook, perhaps, but lying implies deceit. I'm confident that he didn't expect anyone to believe there were whales in the river.
/also disturbed that you are okay with lying to essentially anyone but the government, but okay with law enforcement not using any discretion whatsoever. Orson Welles would like a word with you

You take yourself very seriously, don't you? Fishermen......lying.....Never mind, I'm sure you've never heard that joke. You sound like you wouldn't know a joke if it bit you.


Right, you were just being humorous in your original post.

/cue jon lovitz

15 Dec 2012 10:45 AM
Tanthalas39     
Right, you were just being humorous in your original post.

/cue jon lovitz

15 Dec 2012 10:46 AM
usernameguy     
I know I want my tax dollars spent on some guy trying to figure out which information is real and which is a bad joke.

15 Dec 2012 10:55 AM
stewbert     
There's a time for everything, and this loser learned a bit about when not to make stupid jokes. My youngest kid still needs to learn this lesson too. Maybe I should take her fishing?

15 Dec 2012 10:58 AM
clipperbox     
my semi-unrelated csb:

i was in navy's nuclear power program in orlando where they have no sense of humor. one guy had some minor infraction and his punishment was to stand watch at a small lake (a pond really) from midnight to 4 AM one night. he was to keep a logbook of the watch. so, being smartass, he logged in a submarine surfacing some time during the night. after his punishment, they kicked him out of the program and sent him to captains mast for falsifying a government document.

15 Dec 2012 11:04 AM
KrispyKritter     
It's okay to be Exxon and to decimate the Prince William Sound but don't you dare joke about a fish, fishing guy. (fish, mammal, whatev)

/i can has Bank of America mexican drug cartel whitewash money for no prison time too?

15 Dec 2012 11:57 AM
Thurston Howell     

King Keepo: Alas, bureaucracy doesn't allow for humour. Otherwise they would have arrested him for killing a whale and chalked up the tuna against his catch allowance.


This is exactly what I expected to find in the article; not sure if I'm relieved that I didn't.

15 Dec 2012 12:06 PM
Elegy    [TotalFark]  

cryinoutloud: Tanthalas39: When you tell a joke, are you lying? Bad idea to joke in the logbook, perhaps, but lying implies deceit. I'm confident that he didn't expect anyone to believe there were whales in the river.
/also disturbed that you are okay with lying to essentially anyone but the government, but okay with law enforcement not using any discretion whatsoever. Orson Welles would like a word with you

You take yourself very seriously, don't you? Fishermen......lying.....Never mind, I'm sure you've never heard that joke. You sound like you wouldn't know a joke if it bit you.


You have to be trolling. No one can be this stupidz

15 Dec 2012 12:44 PM
VRaptor117     
So what's the penalty? It seems like it's just a fine, if it was jail I think the article would have mentioned that.

15 Dec 2012 12:48 PM
VRaptor117     
Nevermind, the linked article has that: a summons to appear in court that can be avoided with $210 fine. Almost worth it if he gets to keep the logbook with a giant red "REJECTED" stamp in it.

15 Dec 2012 12:50 PM
gja    [TotalFark]  
This was truly STUPID.
Somewhat akin to me logging a leg through prohibited airspace.
Might be funny, but will result in you never again holding a pilots license and you my very well be given some time in "Club Fed" for your asininity.

15 Dec 2012 12:51 PM
rnatalie    [TotalFark]  
No, logging a leg through a P-area is within the realm of possibility.
It would be like logging a flight to the moon or a 152 flight from the US to Moscow.

15 Dec 2012 12:59 PM
lizyrd     

Clemkadidlefark: Government = no sense of humor


Odd. I work for a government. My coworkers and I have a great time, joke, pull pranks and break balls. There are some days where I laugh for ten hours straight. What I don't find humorous is when some jerk thinks he's being funny but instead is making my life more difficult.

15 Dec 2012 01:00 PM
GoldDude     
Interesting would be if he chose to fight it.
Can you PROVE that I did not, in fact, catch a tuna or blue whale??
It's easy for the troopers to discover physical evidence of fish that were caught but not logged, but a hell of a lot harder to prove logged but not caught.
Of course, that would require perjury, and the guy's probably in enough trouble already.

15 Dec 2012 01:21 PM
Skyd1v     

lizyrd: Pockafrusta: This just in.... Government workers have no sense of humor. Discretion? Alien concept.

/I R 1

I'd say the government employee is using discretion. If the guy had made an innocent mistake, like a typo or leaving out a required section, the Fish and Game cops may have used their discretion to have him simply correct the error. When they see the guy being a smartass on an official document and now have to spend time and energy to track him down to resolve it, they use their discretion to turn the screws on him.

The guy may have thought it was funny, and you may think the cop's sense of humor needs adjusting, but all it represents to the cop is more work because some guy intentionally did his job wrong.


Um, yeah, that.

Alaska is a big place, and there are a lot of "Young Gun" guides out there trying to make a name for themselves in a market dominated by a few large guide/outfitter companies. In order to attract clients they sometimes skirt or outright violate the regulations to get the BIG king/halibut/sheep/moose/whatever.

The troopers spend a shiat ton of resources and time monitoring those guys, so when someone screws with them in such a blatant manner by putting jokes into an official document it's no wonder they would be pissy about it.

/little brother is a guide. Keeps it legal. (as far as I know)

15 Dec 2012 01:40 PM
untaken_name     
It's a good thing that every aspect of our lives is now approved by government officials with such nice dispositions.

15 Dec 2012 01:53 PM
boomm     
I recommend not paying the fine until he gets an Alaskan lawyer to lookup the future consequences of having something like this on your record. If the enforcement is half-way unreasonable, having it on your record could be worse.

CSB:
Trucker friend decided over several years not to fight citations that he felt he didn't deserve but would have taken time and money. The fine was easier than protesting.

After several years a third citation came with a surprise he hadn't been told would happen. His driver's insurance rate now makes it imposible to drive and make money doing it. He'd have to pay more money in insurance than he'd get in wages. And that is for the rest of his life, some detail he didn't know when he chose not to fight the citations.

15 Dec 2012 05:43 PM
UNAUTHORIZED FINGER     

HindiDiscoMonster: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: "I caught a fish 'this' big!"

Nook... you owe me one


I guess I do. You're the only one in this thread with a sense of humor. :)

15 Dec 2012 07:52 PM
That Guy...From That Show!     
i30.photobucket.comView Full Size

15 Dec 2012 09:38 PM
laid back w/bud light     
Dave from Tuna.com on the show "Tuna Hunters" is pissed and says he'll bring in two fish bigger by the end of the week!

15 Dec 2012 11:47 PM
SpaceBison    [TotalFark]  

boomm: I recommend not paying the fine until he gets an Alaskan lawyer to lookup the future consequences of having something like this on your record. If the enforcement is half-way unreasonable, having it on your record could be worse.

CSB:
Trucker friend decided over several years not to fight citations that he felt he didn't deserve but would have taken time and money. The fine was easier than protesting.

After several years a third citation came with a surprise he hadn't been told would happen. His driver's insurance rate now makes it imposible to drive and make money doing it. He'd have to pay more money in insurance than he'd get in wages. And that is for the rest of his life, some detail he didn't know when he chose not to fight the citations.


What was he getting cited for? DUI?

16 Dec 2012 05:30 AM
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