(full site)
Fark.com

Try out our new mobile site!


Back To Main
   Just in time for the destruction of Earth, Noah's ark is complete, again

15 Dec 2012 03:59 PM   |   7806 clicks   |   Examiner
Showing 1-50 of 60 comments
Refresh Page 2
View Comments:
jehovahs witness protection    [TotalFark]  
#1,699
ONE TO GO

15 Dec 2012 03:04 PM
Lsherm    [TotalFark]  
Whatever happened to the one the guy was building on the MD/West Virginia border? Did he finish?

15 Dec 2012 04:00 PM
iheartscotch    [TotalFark]  
Now he just has to get two of everything.

15 Dec 2012 04:01 PM
Ego edo infantia cattus     
25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

15 Dec 2012 04:09 PM
Kali-Yuga     

iheartscotch: Now he just has to get two of everything.


I wonder how long it will take to gather up the 1,900,000 insects, 140,000 mollusks, 80,000 crustaceans, 11,486 amphibians, 16,480 reptiles, 19,600 birds, and 10,832 mammals it will take to have a pair of the known species.....

15 Dec 2012 04:09 PM
scottapeshot     
What is a cubit?

15 Dec 2012 04:13 PM
LazerFish     

Kali-Yuga: iheartscotch: Now he just has to get two of everything.

I wonder how long it will take to gather up the 1,900,000 insects, 140,000 mollusks, 80,000 crustaceans, 11,486 amphibians, 16,480 reptiles, 19,600 birds, and 10,832 mammals it will take to have a pair of the known species.....


And where does all the poop go once he has them? :O

15 Dec 2012 04:13 PM
maxheck     
iheartscotch:

Now he just has to get two of everything.

Evidently we could save *eight* of everything with a single Panamax carrier.

Guess we're good for the next flood.

15 Dec 2012 04:16 PM
maggoo     
A project to build a life-size replica of Noah's ark makes as much sense as a project to build a life-size replica of the SS Enterprize.

15 Dec 2012 04:17 PM
GBB     
Right!

15 Dec 2012 04:17 PM
Keizer_Ghidorah     
God promised not to flood Earth again, so what's the point of building another Ark?

THIS is the Ark we SHOULD be building:

www.transformerscustomtoys.comView Full Size

15 Dec 2012 04:18 PM
GBB     

LazerFish: Kali-Yuga: iheartscotch: Now he just has to get two of everything.

I wonder how long it will take to gather up the 1,900,000 insects, 140,000 mollusks, 80,000 crustaceans, 11,486 amphibians, 16,480 reptiles, 19,600 birds, and 10,832 mammals it will take to have a pair of the known species.....

And where does all the poop go once he has them? :O


"You let me go out there and do all this stuff here
You never even looked in the bottom of that Ark
Have you looked down there?
No?
Who's gonna clean up that mess down there?
That's me"

15 Dec 2012 04:20 PM
tricycleracer     
I hope the velicoraptor pens have round door knobs.

15 Dec 2012 04:20 PM
iheartscotch    [TotalFark]  

maxheck: iheartscotch:

Now he just has to get two of everything.

Evidently we could save *eight* of everything with a single Panamax carrier.

Guess we're good for the next flood.


As in a Panamax aircraft carrier? I wonder how many of those we have left.

15 Dec 2012 04:23 PM
Martian_Astronomer     
Um, this article leaves out a few really important details:

Despite his best efforts, it was impossible to adhere entirely to the biblical description of the Ark. Genesis describes Noah's boat as made of "gopher wood," but experts disagree over what this is.

Instead, Huibers and his team built the boat by welding together the metal hulls of 25 barges into a single frame, which was then covered with Scandinavian pine. Weighing about 3,000 tons, the boat contains sleeping quarters, a theater, restaurant and conference facilities to seat 1,500 people.


There's a bit of a difference between floating a welded conglomeration of metal barges on a river and floating a wooden craft larger than any entirely wooden ship known to history on a sea with waves the size of apartment buildings.

15 Dec 2012 04:24 PM
iheartscotch    [TotalFark]  

Kali-Yuga: iheartscotch: Now he just has to get two of everything.

I wonder how long it will take to gather up the 1,900,000 insects, 140,000 mollusks, 80,000 crustaceans, 11,486 amphibians, 16,480 reptiles, 19,600 birds, and 10,832 mammals it will take to have a pair of the known species.....


Several years later...


I got 2 of everything; huzza! Crap! A frog just ate one of the flies.

15 Dec 2012 04:24 PM
oldernell    [TotalFark]  

GBB: Right!


If that doesn't make sense to you younger Farkers, look up Bill Cosby and the Noah's Ark skit and LYFAO. One of the greatest and cleanest comedy presentations you will ever see.

15 Dec 2012 04:25 PM
Kali-Yuga     

LazerFish: And where does all the poop go once he has them? :O


Well the animals have to eat something.... A single sheep requires 1 gallon of water a day and 6 pounds of hay/grass/grain. Noah was on the ark 370 days according to the bible, so assuming a low number of 30,000 animals on the ark that would be 33,300 short tons of food...

15 Dec 2012 04:25 PM
Granny_Panties     

Keizer_Ghidorah: God promised not to flood Earth again, so what's the point of building another Ark?

THIS is the Ark we SHOULD be building:

[www.transformerscustomtoys.com image 400x295]


How can you tell the difference between an Atheist and a Christian?

Chances are, the Atheist actually read the Bible.

15 Dec 2012 04:26 PM
Happy Hours     

maggoo: A project to build a life-size replica of Noah's ark makes as much sense as a project to build a life-size replica of the SS Enterprize.


What about the Millennium Falcon

15 Dec 2012 04:26 PM
ka1axy     

Kali-Yuga: LazerFish: And where does all the poop go once he has them? :O

Well the animals have to eat something.... A single sheep requires 1 gallon of water a day and 6 pounds of hay/grass/grain. Noah was on the ark 370 days according to the bible, so assuming a low number of 30,000 animals on the ark that would be 33,300 short tons of food...


His biggest problem is gonna be keeping the lions from eating everybody.

Hey, God flooded the earth with *rain* water, right? So I don't recall anything in Genesis about Noah having a salt-water aquarium. How did the sharks survive the fresh water flood, huh?

15 Dec 2012 04:28 PM
Kali-Yuga     

iheartscotch: I got 2 of everything; huzza! Crap! A frog just ate one of the flies.


No, you don't understand, until after the flood, all the animals and insects on earth were vegetarians, something you can plainly see since all gods creatures were designed with an herbivore's teeth and jaw structure.

15 Dec 2012 04:29 PM
uttertosh     

scottapeshot: What is a cubit?


you need to fit two of them together to play billiards.

15 Dec 2012 04:30 PM
Mega Steve     

maggoo: A project to build a life-size replica of Noah's ark makes as much sense as a project to build a life-size replica of the SS Enterprize.


The difference being that making a full-sized replica of the Enterprise would be awesome.

15 Dec 2012 04:35 PM
maxheck     
iheartscotch:

maxheck: iheartscotch:

Now he just has to get two of everything.

Evidently we could save *eight* of everything with a single Panamax carrier.

Guess we're good for the next flood.

As in a Panamax aircraft carrier? I wonder how many of those we have left.


Well, I was thinking more cargo carrier, but the possibilities presented by the combination of an aircraft catapult + hippos does present some entertainment possibilities on the long voyage.

15 Dec 2012 04:38 PM
ka1axy     

oldernell: GBB: Right!

If that doesn't make sense to you younger Farkers, look up Bill Cosby and the Noah's Ark skit and LYFAO. One of the greatest and cleanest comedy presentations you will ever see.


Kids nowadays...

//introduced mine to Monty Python and Tom Lehrer

15 Dec 2012 04:38 PM
iheartscotch    [TotalFark]  

iheartscotch: maxheck: iheartscotch:

Now he just has to get two of everything.

Evidently we could save *eight* of everything with a single Panamax carrier.

Guess we're good for the next flood.

As in a Panamax aircraft carrier? I wonder how many of those we have left.


As it stands; the last Panamax aircraft carriers were of the Essax class; at 820 ft long and 92 ft wide; they would clear the sides of the Panama Canal with 20 ft in width to spare, none of them are active. The midway class is 3 ft too wide. Everything else isn't even close to fitting.

15 Dec 2012 04:38 PM
common sense is an oxymoron     

scottapeshot: What is a cubit?


25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

15 Dec 2012 04:40 PM
iheartscotch    [TotalFark]  

Kali-Yuga: iheartscotch: I got 2 of everything; huzza! Crap! A frog just ate one of the flies.

No, you don't understand, until after the flood, all the animals and insects on earth were vegetarians, something you can plainly see since all gods creatures were designed with an herbivore's teeth and jaw structure.


Except, fossils are the work of the devil; because they show the earth is more than 6000 years old. ;)

15 Dec 2012 04:41 PM
noazark     
This thread completes me.

15 Dec 2012 04:43 PM
Fark Rye For Many Whores     

maggoo: A project to build a life-size replica of Noah's ark makes as much sense as a project to build a life-size replica of the SS Enterprize.


You shut your whore mouth.
www.thatawesomeshirt.comView Full Size

15 Dec 2012 04:45 PM
Richard Saunders     
I've seen this movie; know how it ends.

evanalmighty.jpg

15 Dec 2012 04:47 PM
wildcardjack     
Fools, that ship will be unable to leap into higher dimensions to escape the return of the elder gods when the next cycle begins and the quantum state of the universe favors them again.

Truly I tell you, it is better for you to take an axe to your loved ones now before the elder gods return and make them their slaves in pain for all eternity.

15 Dec 2012 04:55 PM
Kali-Yuga     

ka1axy: Hey, God flooded the earth with *rain* water, right? So I don't recall anything in Genesis about Noah having a salt-water aquarium. How did the sharks survive the fresh water flood, huh?


Have you ever added sugar to your coffee but forgotten to stir it? Before the Flood the oceans "hadn't been stirred" yet. The oceans weren't yet saturated with salts and minerals prior to the Great Flood when waters violently washed over the land masses.

15 Dec 2012 04:56 PM
uttertosh     

wildcardjack: Fools, that ship will be unable to leap into higher dimensions to escape the return of the elder gods when the next cycle begins and the quantum state of the universe favors them again.

Truly I tell you, it is better for you to take an axe to your loved ones now before the elder gods return and make them their slaves in pain for all eternity.


Ok, I axed dem. Dem sez tha u rong. Whar ur gods nao?

oldernell: GBB: Right!

If that doesn't make sense to you younger Farkers, look up Bill Cosby and the Noah's Ark skit and LYFAO. One of the greatest and cleanest comedy presentations you will ever see.


Ricky Gervais on the same subject

15 Dec 2012 05:00 PM
StoPPeRmobile     

Granny_Panties: Keizer_Ghidorah: God promised not to flood Earth again, so what's the point of building another Ark?

THIS is the Ark we SHOULD be building:

[www.transformerscustomtoys.com image 400x295]

How can you tell the difference between an Atheist and a Christian?

Chances are, the Atheist actually read the Bible.


Everlasting does'nt have to mean forever. It's like the 7 days are billions of years thing.

15 Dec 2012 05:02 PM
DerAppie     

iheartscotch: Now he just has to get two of everything.


Wrong, he needs 7 of the clean animals.

15 Dec 2012 05:05 PM
ramblinwreck     
Genesis 7:2

From all the clean animals, take seven and seven, the male and the female. Yet truly, from animals that are unclean, take two and two, the male and the female.

Not a surprise why religion is such a mess. People can't even get the number of (professed) animals correct.

15 Dec 2012 05:07 PM
WippitGuud     

Happy Hours: maggoo: A project to build a life-size replica of Noah's ark makes as much sense as a project to build a life-size replica of the SS Enterprize.

What about the Millennium Falcon


What about a firefly-class spaceship?


Oh, wait...

15 Dec 2012 05:08 PM
BMFPitt     
Among the many questionable premises in the Cusack movie, I want to know why any of the people with the ships actually saved any space for the billionaires. I get taking their money, but I'd just leave them hanging to make space for skilled, educated females under 35.

15 Dec 2012 05:14 PM
Principal Clarinet    [TotalFark]  
Repeat

Link

15 Dec 2012 05:21 PM
Mega Steve     

iheartscotch: Kali-Yuga: iheartscotch: I got 2 of everything; huzza! Crap! A frog just ate one of the flies.

No, you don't understand, until after the flood, all the animals and insects on earth were vegetarians, something you can plainly see since all gods creatures were designed with an herbivore's teeth and jaw structure.

Except, fossils are the work of the devil; because they show the earth is more than 6000 years old. ;)


I thought they were put there by God to test our faith

15 Dec 2012 05:31 PM
Clockwork Kumquat     

GBB: Right!


...What's an arK?!

15 Dec 2012 05:53 PM
Kali-Yuga     

Mega Steve: I thought they were put there by God to test our faith


controversy.wearscience.comView Full Size

15 Dec 2012 05:54 PM
Tsar_Bomba1     

scottapeshot: What is a cubit?



davidlavallee.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

15 Dec 2012 06:07 PM
Great_Milenko     

Mega Steve: maggoo: A project to build a life-size replica of Noah's ark makes as much sense as a project to build a life-size replica of the SS Enterprize.

The difference being that making a full-sized replica of the Enterprise would be awesome.


Yes, it would have been amazing

15 Dec 2012 06:15 PM
Great_Milenko     

Lsherm: Whatever happened to the one the guy was building on the MD/West Virginia border? Did he finish?


I always figured this was an allegory. They were "building" the ark in preparation for the end times or something. You know, like the bridge to the 21st century that politicians used to talk about "building".

It hasn't changed a bit in decades, so if they were actually intending on building a finished ark, they're pretty much useless.

15 Dec 2012 06:19 PM
Haliburton Cummings     
yeah, but did he put one of those ovens his people are world famous for in it?

15 Dec 2012 06:42 PM
Haliburton Cummings     

maggoo: A project to build a life-size replica of Noah's ark makes as much sense as a project to build a life-size replica of the SS Enterprize.


you can build an ark....

you can't build an enterprise. look at it...JUST LOOK AT IT!!!

/nerd rage

15 Dec 2012 06:44 PM
graeylin     
what, really? I am the first with a Dutch Rudder mention in the thread?

slackers...

15 Dec 2012 06:47 PM
Showing 1-50 of 60 comments
Refresh Page 2
View Comments:
This thread is closed to new comments.


Back To Main

More Headlines:
Main | Sports | Business | Geek | Entertainment | Politics | Video | FarkUs | Contests | Fark Party | Combined