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   Our long National Nightmare is almost over: Twinkies are set to return to shelves in the coming months

22 Dec 2012 07:02 PM   |   9575 clicks   |   Daily Mail
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jehovahs witness protection    [TotalFark]  
And poor hard working union members won't have to deal with the nightmare of stocking them anywhere near Wonderbread.

22 Dec 2012 06:00 PM
BronyMedic     
Not soon enough to save my little baby boy Quinn. And all of you Welcome to FARK assholes can go DIAF.

He died of a withdraw from Twinkies. Hostess didn't tell us they were addictive. None of you will ever know the pain of getting a call from the doctor at three in the morning telling you that they can't find a pulse. None of you will ever know the horror of having to identify a twinkie cream covered body, and having to watch those unions get off SCOTT FREE!

We keep his ashes in a tasteful display above the refridgerator to remind us of a happier time, a time when we had twinkies.

img214.imageshack.usView Full Size

22 Dec 2012 06:22 PM
Krieghund     
I was at the drugstore on Thursday, and they had Twinkies.

22 Dec 2012 07:00 PM
skinink     
Well this will make the gays happy.

Oh, you said Twinkies?

22 Dec 2012 07:05 PM
faerniir     
Won't someone think of the orange cupcakes?!

22 Dec 2012 07:06 PM
majestic     
Twinkies suck.

22 Dec 2012 07:08 PM
FarkinGoofy     
I can't tell for sure, but is the person in the photo touching all the twinkies with the horrible fingernails wearing gloves?

22 Dec 2012 07:08 PM
Derek313     
I love twinks! Twinkies? Not so much....

/no really, I hate junk food.

22 Dec 2012 07:09 PM
Farkenhostile     

FarkinGoofy: I can't tell for sure, but is the person in the photo touching all the twinkies with the horrible fingernails wearing gloves?


I was just about to ask the same thing, the person behind her is wearing some.

22 Dec 2012 07:11 PM
p the boiler     
Bring back my Suzie Q's... And not those little nasty things trying to be passed as Suzie Q's for the last decade.

22 Dec 2012 07:11 PM
vodka     
PR campaign!!!one!eleven!!one!

22 Dec 2012 07:13 PM
The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves     
Now with more fiberglass and ground-up foam packing peanuts!

22 Dec 2012 07:15 PM
Farkenhostile     
Yes bring it back the way it was years ago or don't bother, those things taste like crap now.

22 Dec 2012 07:16 PM
Smock Pot     
YAAAAY!

Kermitflail.gif

/only good after smocking

22 Dec 2012 07:17 PM
ezone     

Farkenhostile: FarkinGoofy: I can't tell for sure, but is the person in the photo touching all the twinkies with the horrible fingernails wearing gloves?

I was just about to ask the same thing, the person behind her is wearing some.


Sure looks like that's a NO.
i.dailymail.co.ukView Full Size

Ewwwww.

22 Dec 2012 07:18 PM
TheManofPA    [TotalFark]  
Yeah, now that the world isn't going to end, some rich guy can stop hoarding them all.

22 Dec 2012 07:18 PM
Amos Quito     

FarkinGoofy: I can't tell for sure, but is the person in the photo touching all the twinkies with the horrible fingernails wearing gloves?



EMPLOYEES MUSH WASH HANDS
AFTER HANDLING TWINKIES



22 Dec 2012 07:20 PM
Amos Quito     
"He said another viable bid was made for Drake's cakes, which includes Devil Dogs, Funny Bones and Yodels. That bidder also wants to buy the Drake's plant in Wayne, N.J., which Scherer said is the country's only kosher bakery plant."

???

22 Dec 2012 07:21 PM
LordOfThePings     
Sure, Twinkies come back, but where are Dodo In a Biskits?

22 Dec 2012 07:22 PM
dopekitty74     
Twinkies be damned, there's a shortage of Buckley's original cough medicine due to a complete overhaul of the manufacturing facility. Can't find it anywhere, and won't be back for at least six months according to the pharmacist i spoke to today.

/only cough medicine I use
//tastes awful and it works
///better tasting than all the over sweetened syrups the other companies make. Gag!

22 Dec 2012 07:26 PM
ultraholland     
and not a single fark was given

22 Dec 2012 07:29 PM
sallys     
xd6.xanga.comView Full Size

Why I don't miss them. They taste like straw.

22 Dec 2012 07:31 PM
Day_Old_Dutchie     

dopekitty74: Twinkies be damned, there's a shortage of Buckley's original cough medicine due to a complete overhaul of the manufacturing facility. Can't find it anywhere, and won't be back for at least six months according to the pharmacist i spoke to today.

/only cough medicine I use
//tastes awful and it works
///better tasting than all the over sweetened syrups the other companies make. Gag!


Buckley's tastes like drinking Vicks VapoRub.

22 Dec 2012 07:37 PM
Strobeguy     
Oh I pity my Twinkie futures when the commodities market re-opens

22 Dec 2012 07:43 PM
SN1987a goes boom     

jehovahs witness protection: And poor hard working union members won't have to deal with the nightmare of stocking them anywhere near Wonderbread.


Thread shat in one. Good jorb.

22 Dec 2012 07:44 PM
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  

sallys: [xd6.xanga.com image 500x401]
Why I don't miss them. They taste like straw.


I love labels that say "May contain *blank*". Certainly boosts my confidence in their manufacturing process.

22 Dec 2012 08:04 PM
Forbidden Doughnut     

ezone: Farkenhostile: FarkinGoofy: I can't tell for sure, but is the person in the photo touching all the twinkies with the horrible fingernails wearing gloves?

I was just about to ask the same thing, the person behind her is wearing some.

Sure looks like that's a NO.
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x422]
Ewwwww.


Meh. i'm sure all of the preservatives and other artificial crap in those Twinkies don't add up to a friendly environment for bacteria, viruses, or any other living thing...

22 Dec 2012 08:09 PM
ezone     

Forbidden Doughnut: ezone: Farkenhostile: FarkinGoofy: I can't tell for sure, but is the person in the photo touching all the twinkies with the horrible fingernails wearing gloves?

I was just about to ask the same thing, the person behind her is wearing some.

Sure looks like that's a NO.
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x422]
Ewwwww.

Meh. i'm sure all of the preservatives and other artificial crap in those Twinkies don't add up to a friendly environment for bacteria, viruses, or any other living thing...


They may not be able to sustain life, but they can be a vehicle.

22 Dec 2012 08:20 PM
The_Six_Fingered_Man     

fusillade762: sallys: [xd6.xanga.com image 500x401]
Why I don't miss them. They taste like straw.

I love labels that say "May contain *blank*". Certainly boosts my confidence in their manufacturing process.


Have to do that for allergy purposes.

22 Dec 2012 08:22 PM
KrispyKritter     

BronyMedic: Not soon enough to save my little baby boy Quinn. And all of you Welcome to FARK assholes can go DIAF.

He died of a withdraw from Twinkies. Hostess didn't tell us they were addictive. None of you will ever know the pain of getting a call from the doctor at three in the morning telling you that they can't find a pulse. None of you will ever know the horror of having to identify a twinkie cream covered body, and having to watch those unions get off SCOTT FREE!

We keep his ashes in a tasteful display above the refridgerator to remind us of a happier time, a time when we had twinkies.

[img214.imageshack.us image 648x484]


Bless your heart my life saving friend. No one will dare snark you on this tragic loss. I'll never forget where I was that day, and what I was eating when you shared your tragic loss with your fellow Farkers. This was a senseless tragedy brought about by corporate greed. I'm sorry for your loss. We all are. Bless you BronyMedic. Bless your sweet, creme filled spongy heart. XXOO KK

22 Dec 2012 08:29 PM
Prey4reign    [TotalFark]  
What about Sno Balls?

failhair.comView Full Size


So round. So pink. So delightfully presented. I used to love to open a pack, take them out and eat them while motorboating them.

22 Dec 2012 08:36 PM
eddievercetti     
Tallahassee approves!

22 Dec 2012 08:38 PM
firefly212     

BronyMedic: Not soon enough to save my little baby boy Quinn. And all of you Welcome to FARK assholes can go DIAF.

He died of a withdraw from Twinkies. Hostess didn't tell us they were addictive. None of you will ever know the pain of getting a call from the doctor at three in the morning telling you that they can't find a pulse. None of you will ever know the horror of having to identify a twinkie cream covered body, and having to watch those unions get off SCOTT FREE!

We keep his ashes in a tasteful display above the refridgerator to remind us of a happier time, a time when we had twinkies.

[img214.imageshack.us image 648x484]


He needed more guns to fill the void left by twinkies... I thought you were a real medic, even a rookie emt knows that hyponatwinkia can only be treated with the simple serum derived from the formula Tw = [(infusate Gu + infusate N) - serum Gu] / (Total body creamy filling +1)

22 Dec 2012 08:43 PM
Glancing Blow     

ezone: Farkenhostile: FarkinGoofy: I can't tell for sure, but is the person in the photo touching all the twinkies with the horrible fingernails wearing gloves?

I was just about to ask the same thing, the person behind her is wearing some.

Sure looks like that's a NO.
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x422]
Ewwwww.


She followed union rules. If you sneeze on your gloves, dispose of them and wait for your union rep to provide a replacement set.

22 Dec 2012 08:43 PM
firefly212     

FarkinGoofy: I can't tell for sure, but is the person in the photo touching all the twinkies with the horrible fingernails wearing gloves?


Do you really think there's anything they could do, beyond making them, that would make a twinkie somehow less healthy?

22 Dec 2012 08:47 PM
Solid Muldoon     
But they will be better Twinkies!

Made by non-union workers with radioactive water!

Bimbo!

22 Dec 2012 08:49 PM
firefly212     

jehovahs witness protection: And poor hard working union members won't have to deal with the nightmare of stocking them anywhere near Wonderbread.


Thank goodness they gave themselves million dollar raises while raiding pension funds, then got rewarded millions more by the bankruptcy court... oh wait, that was the management, not the union.

22 Dec 2012 08:51 PM
limeyfellow     

SN1987a goes boom: jehovahs witness protection: And poor hard working union members won't have to deal with the nightmare of stocking them anywhere near Wonderbread.

Thread shat in one. Good jorb.


Yay, screw those union workers. They won't see a penny of their retirement fund too that got stolen by management to fund their incompetence at running the business.

22 Dec 2012 08:54 PM
goodole312     
fark twinkies i want those apple cinnamon doughnuts they came out with this year back, only decent thing hostess made

22 Dec 2012 09:01 PM
InternetSecurityGuard     

FarkinGoofy: I can't tell for sure, but is the person in the photo touching all the twinkies with the horrible fingernails wearing gloves?


Zooming in on her right hand reveals that she is wearing "finger condoms" instead of full gloves.

22 Dec 2012 09:22 PM
Jon H     
i.ebayimg.comView Full Size

22 Dec 2012 09:26 PM
BronyMedic     

firefly212: BronyMedic: Not soon enough to save my little baby boy Quinn. And all of you Welcome to FARK assholes can go DIAF.

He died of a withdraw from Twinkies. Hostess didn't tell us they were addictive. None of you will ever know the pain of getting a call from the doctor at three in the morning telling you that they can't find a pulse. None of you will ever know the horror of having to identify a twinkie cream covered body, and having to watch those unions get off SCOTT FREE!

We keep his ashes in a tasteful display above the refridgerator to remind us of a happier time, a time when we had twinkies.

[img214.imageshack.us image 648x484]

He needed more guns to fill the void left by twinkies... I thought you were a real medic, even a rookie emt knows that hyponatwinkia can only be treated with the simple serum derived from the formula Tw = [(infusate Gu + infusate N) - serum Gu] / (Total body creamy filling +1)


22 Dec 2012 09:27 PM
Great Porn Dragon    [TotalFark]  

Day_Old_Dutchie: dopekitty74: Twinkies be damned, there's a shortage of Buckley's original cough medicine due to a complete overhaul of the manufacturing facility. Can't find it anywhere, and won't be back for at least six months according to the pharmacist i spoke to today.

/only cough medicine I use
//tastes awful and it works
///better tasting than all the over sweetened syrups the other companies make. Gag!

Buckley's tastes like drinking Vicks VapoRub.


Hell, if I need that...I'll just get some Dr. McGillicuddy's and have the extra benefit of the alcohol so I don't give a damn about being sick :D

/have heard people sing the praises of Buckley's
//have also never, ever seen the stuff locally--must be a thing north of the Mason-Dixon if not above I-80

22 Dec 2012 09:29 PM
Clay Babcock    [TotalFark]  
Some people are going to make a lot of $$$$$ on this deal, a lot are not.

22 Dec 2012 10:19 PM
notmtwain     
"Hostess Twinkies" are not coming back. I don't care if the new owners make them look and taste the same and uses the same amounts of formaldehyde and bleach in the recipe.

Bimbo Twinkies won't be the same.  No how.

22 Dec 2012 10:39 PM
saturn badger    [TotalFark]  

ezone: Farkenhostile: FarkinGoofy: I can't tell for sure, but is the person in the photo touching all the twinkies with the horrible fingernails wearing gloves?

I was just about to ask the same thing, the person behind her is wearing some.

Sure looks like that's a NO.
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x422]
Ewwwww.


The open shirt leaves a bit open for PS possibilities.

22 Dec 2012 10:50 PM
iwatts     
I never understood the big deal about this.

Twinkies were the sort of things you might eat out of a Hospital vending machine because they beat actually passing out from low blood-sugar, and the medical waste was looking less appetizing than usual. They are disgusting. Don't think I've had one in 25 years.

There were reasons why Hostess brands wasn't doing that well. And it wasn't all bad management and greedy unions.

22 Dec 2012 10:51 PM
Johnny Bananapeel     
s8.postimage.orgView Full Size

22 Dec 2012 11:00 PM
Shadow Blasko     
but


But.

Fruit pies?

22 Dec 2012 11:03 PM
Solid Muldoon     

Shadow Blasko: but


But.

Fruit pies?


A Hostess Cherry Fruit Pie and a bottle of orange juice. Behind the wheel, of course,

Breakfast of champions.

22 Dec 2012 11:19 PM
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