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   Doctor finds a 77 pound ovarian tumor, immediately issues an order to cease and de-cyst

24 Dec 2012 03:36 PM   |   6200 clicks   |   News.com.au
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Equilibrist    [TotalFark]  
Bet the doctor needed acystance.  Tumor hands at least.

24 Dec 2012 01:14 PM
FriarReb98    [TotalFark]  
As someone whose best friend had a hysterectomy a year ago due to a large ovarian growth, I'm so not getting a kick....

24 Dec 2012 03:06 PM
FunkOut    [TotalFark]  
Wonder if it was one of those teratomas with the hair and teeth and skin and whatnots.

24 Dec 2012 03:41 PM
speedycat     
At least it's better than a 50lb mole on your ass.

/obscure

24 Dec 2012 03:43 PM
flux    [TotalFark]  
True story: My supervisor refers to "cease and desist" letters and "stop and decease". Not as a joke or anything; he thinks that's what they're called.

24 Dec 2012 03:46 PM
BronyMedic     
Where are all the pro-life, anti-abortion zealots here. THAT CANCER WAS A POTENTIAL LIFE, AND THEY MURDERED IT!

24 Dec 2012 03:49 PM
mark.jms     
My mom had a 7 pounder. Thankfully, benign. I got a picture of it, wish I had it digitized, so I could post it.

It also presented with ascites, a lot of farking liquid in her abdomen. They removed 3 gallons the first time they drained her, and almost as much 2 weeks later when they took the tumor out.

Mieg's Syndrome, was what that was. She was lucky to have that and not something more sinister.

But, yeah, looked pregnant, which is awkward for a 65 year old woman.

Feeding the tumor and that liquid drained her though, she's thinner now than she's been since her 20s.

24 Dec 2012 03:50 PM
Aces and Eights     

mark.jms: My mom had a 7 pounder. Thankfully, benign. I got a picture of it, wish I had it digitized, so I could post it.

It also presented with ascites, a lot of farking liquid in her abdomen. They removed 3 gallons the first time they drained her, and almost as much 2 weeks later when they took the tumor out.

Mieg's Syndrome, was what that was. She was lucky to have that and not something more sinister.

But, yeah, looked pregnant, which is awkward for a 65 year old woman.

Feeding the tumor and that liquid drained her though, she's thinner now than she's been since her 20s.


Oh, your poor mamma. Give her a big ol' hug and tell her you love her. Glad she's ok.

24 Dec 2012 03:57 PM
Old Man Winter    [TotalFark]  
The "Doctor finds a 77 pound ovarian tumor, immediately issues an order to cease and de-cyst "

Worst Doctor Who Christmas Special Ever.

24 Dec 2012 03:59 PM
simrobert2001     
WEll, thats one way to loose weight.

24 Dec 2012 04:00 PM
Seth'n'Spectrum     

BronyMedic: Where are all the pro-life, anti-abortion zealots here. THAT CANCER WAS A POTENTIAL LIFE, AND THEY MURDERED IT!


I wonder how many cases of "oh that witch cursed my baby" from Reformation times were actually cysts that caused a false pregnancy diagnosis.

24 Dec 2012 04:21 PM
OptimusHime     

81483030" target="_blank">speedycat: At least it's better than a 50lb mole on your ass.

/obscure


Nope.

2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

24 Dec 2012 04:24 PM
D Cubitus     
Better that than to cyst and decease!

24 Dec 2012 04:38 PM
FunkOut    [TotalFark]  

Seth'n'Spectrum: BronyMedic: Where are all the pro-life, anti-abortion zealots here. THAT CANCER WAS A POTENTIAL LIFE, AND THEY MURDERED IT!

I wonder how many cases of "oh that witch cursed my baby" from Reformation times were actually cysts that caused a false pregnancy diagnosis.


Even better : accusations to the tumour bearer that she banged Satan at some hallucinogen soaked broom festival.

24 Dec 2012 04:39 PM
Tchernobog     
Is 'baby' a unit of measurement these days?

24 Dec 2012 04:46 PM
MagicChicken     
From TFA: Gynaecologist Albert Makary told Fairfax the cyst, which weighs almost the same as 10 babies, was the biggest he had seen in his career.

10 babies, or 5 really fat babies, or one baby that _really_ let itself go.

24 Dec 2012 04:46 PM
2 Replies     
Good thing she's not in Ireland (or some American states under GOP pressure) because they'd point out that the thing was still growing... so still alive, and shouldn't be removed (regardless of the threat to the woman's life).

24 Dec 2012 04:53 PM
RenownedCurator     

FunkOut: Seth'n'Spectrum: BronyMedic: Where are all the pro-life, anti-abortion zealots here. THAT CANCER WAS A POTENTIAL LIFE, AND THEY MURDERED IT!

I wonder how many cases of "oh that witch cursed my baby" from Reformation times were actually cysts that caused a false pregnancy diagnosis.

Even better : accusations to the tumour bearer that she banged Satan at some hallucinogen soaked broom festival.


Nothing particularly Satanic about getting pregnant, but I'm sure there must have been women who were accused of being garden variety pregnant and unmarried. The best known example of that I can think of is Flora Hastings from Queen Victoria's court, who was accused of being pregnant when her stomach started swelling: the "baby" turned out to be a malignant liver tumor and she died not long afterwards. Glad the lady in TFA was more fortunate.

24 Dec 2012 04:54 PM
RenownedCurator     

2 Replies: Good thing she's not in Ireland (or some American states under GOP pressure) because they'd point out that the thing was still growing... so still alive, and shouldn't be removed (regardless of the threat to the woman's life).


Oh for fark's sake, is there any documented instance of that happening anywhere or are you just projecting your own fantasies of how pro-lifers think? There's nothing ambiguous about this situation. You could get that tumor removed at Vatican Central Hospital and there wouldn't be a problem. (And speaking of red states and ambiguous surgery, I had an ectopic pregnacy while living in Utah. Contrary to the impression you might get from news reports, no state legislators were parachuting in to stop the doctors from figuring out what was going on and saving my life).

24 Dec 2012 05:01 PM
ZzeusS    [TotalFark]  

Tchernobog: Is 'baby' a unit of measurement these days?



12 babies to the cord

24 Dec 2012 05:03 PM
diaphoresis     

BronyMedic: Where are all the pro-life, anti-abortion zealots here. THAT CANCER WAS A POTENTIAL LIFE, AND THEY MURDERED IT!


1/10

c'mon.. you know you can do a lot better than that

24 Dec 2012 05:08 PM
zez     

ZzeusS: Tchernobog: Is 'baby' a unit of measurement these days?


12 babies to the cord


How many Vermonts is that?

24 Dec 2012 05:11 PM
The Goon Show     
This struck me as funny "Gynaecologist Albert Makary told Fairfax the cyst" I didn't know that they name cysts now.

24 Dec 2012 05:51 PM
JonathanChance     

FunkOut: Wonder if it was one of those teratomas with the hair and teeth and skin and whatnots.


I thought i remember reading somewhere that teratomas are pretty well all much cancerous, and there was a football player whose first symptom of his fatal brain cancer manifested by him sneezing out a tooth.

24 Dec 2012 06:52 PM
Spanky McStupid     

zez: ZzeusS: Tchernobog: Is 'baby' a unit of measurement these days?


12 babies to the cord

How many Vermonts is that?


12 babies = 1 cord = 75 Vermonts (Kelvin/182.9 Farenheight)

24 Dec 2012 07:23 PM
Indubitably     
Excellent headline, subby. That is all.

24 Dec 2012 07:23 PM
hornblowerfan     
I had a 7-pounder and almost died in post-op because I wasn't breathing on my own. Turns out I'm also immune to morphine, which took them two days of me passing out from the pain to realize. Good times.

24 Dec 2012 07:34 PM
Indubitably     

hornblowerfan: I had a 7-pounder and almost died in post-op because I wasn't breathing on my own. Turns out I'm also immune to morphine, which took them two days of me passing out from the pain to realize. Good times.


TMI.

24 Dec 2012 07:53 PM
Ikahoshi     

FriarReb98: As someone whose best friend had a hysterectomy a year ago due to a large ovarian growth, I'm so not getting a kick....



My mother died of ovarian cancer, but I won't take it out on a perfectly serviceable pun.

Life is short, laugh while you can.

24 Dec 2012 08:30 PM
Indubitably     

Ikahoshi: FriarReb98: As someone whose best friend had a hysterectomy a year ago due to a large ovarian growth, I'm so not getting a kick....


My mother died of ovarian cancer, but I won't take it out on a perfectly serviceable pun.

Life is short, laugh while you can.


To laugh because of, not in spite of while living is a gift. Gift it back.  To laugh

24 Dec 2012 09:33 PM
Indubitably     

Indubitably: Ikahoshi: FriarReb98: As someone whose best friend had a hysterectomy a year ago due to a large ovarian growth, I'm so not getting a kick....


My mother died of ovarian cancer, but I won't take it out on a perfectly serviceable pun.

Life is short, laugh while you can.

To laugh because of, not in spite of while living is a gift. Gift it back.  To laugh


Merry Christmas.

24 Dec 2012 09:33 PM
FSMFTMFW     

Spanky McStupid: zez: ZzeusS: Tchernobog: Is 'baby' a unit of measurement these days?


12 babies to the cord

How many Vermonts is that?

12 babies = 1 cord = 75 Vermonts (Kelvin/182.9 Farenheight)


But where does that put us in shiat-tons?

24 Dec 2012 09:35 PM
Indubitably     

FSMFTMFW: Spanky McStupid: zez: ZzeusS: Tchernobog: Is 'baby' a unit of measurement these days?


12 babies to the cord

How many Vermonts is that?

12 babies = 1 cord = 75 Vermonts (Kelvin/182.9 Farenheight)

But where does that put us in shiat-tons?


It's a hella-load, no?

24 Dec 2012 09:38 PM
octopied     
How do you have something that big and not figure out something is seriously wrong a lot earlier? I have a fibroid the size of a radish, and for a couple weeks one year it felt like it was trying to gnaw its way through me. Doesn't much bother me now, except for the occasional bad cramps. According to the doctor, should still be able to bear children...

24 Dec 2012 11:49 PM
Alicious     

octopied: How do you have something that big and not figure out something is seriously wrong a lot earlier? I have a fibroid the size of a radish, and for a couple weeks one year it felt like it was trying to gnaw its way through me. Doesn't much bother me now, except for the occasional bad cramps. According to the doctor, should still be able to bear children...


I had an ovarian cyst that ended up to be the size of a grapefruit by the time it was removed. I had no symptoms except for a slightly achy lower back. It actually was discovered during my annual physical and was the size of an egg then. It grew to grapefruit size in 3 weeks (date of surgery). It is really weird to discover you had something growing in you that you were completely unaware of.

The doctor said it was the size of a good water balloon.

25 Dec 2012 11:55 PM
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