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   Microsoft patents technology that lets you hug someone over the internet using a robotic pillow. Subby is pretty sure that this new technology will end up going way beyond "hugging"

24 Dec 2012 06:36 PM   |   2598 clicks   |   Business Insider
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BarkingUnicorn     
Screw hugging.  Can it play the choking game?

24 Dec 2012 02:14 PM
Diogenes    [TotalFark]  
static.tvfanatic.comView Full Size


Leonard:  When I was ten years old, I made myself a hugging machine.

Penny:  A hugging machine?

Leonard:  Yeah. I got a dressmaker's mannequin, I stuffed it with an electric blanket so I would be warm, and built two radio-controlled arms that would hug me and pat me on the back.

Penny:  That is so sad.

Leonard:  You know what the saddest part was?

Penny:  What?

Leonard:  My father used to borrow it.

24 Dec 2012 02:33 PM
vpb    [TotalFark]  
It could make for awesome prank calls.

24 Dec 2012 03:19 PM
YodaBlues     
www.the-games-blog.comView Full Size

24 Dec 2012 03:22 PM
theewhiterhino     
2nd most popular application.  Boobies!

i234.photobucket.comView Full Size

24 Dec 2012 03:28 PM
Diogenes    [TotalFark]  

theewhiterhino: 2nd most popular application.  Boobies!

[i234.photobucket.com image 328x287]


Seriously.  Wire this tech up to a Real Doll.

24 Dec 2012 03:29 PM
Sybarite    [TotalFark]  
you soon may be able to send them a hug or a hearty handshake over the Internet.

How about a laurel?

24 Dec 2012 03:44 PM
theewhiterhino     

Sybarite: you soon may be able to send them a hug or a hearty handshake over the Internet.

How about a laurel?


i234.photobucket.comView Full Size


While I still have the photobucket open.

24 Dec 2012 03:47 PM
Diogenes    [TotalFark]  

Sybarite: you soon may be able to send them a hug or a hearty handshake over the Internet.

How about a laurel?


Sybarite Johnson's right!

24 Dec 2012 03:51 PM
Theaetetus     
There have been some amazing advances over the past few years in teledildonics.

24 Dec 2012 04:33 PM
fusillade762     

BarkingUnicorn: Screw hugging.  Can it play the choking game?


images.wikia.comView Full Size

/oblig

24 Dec 2012 05:09 PM
basemetal    [TotalFark]  
A tugging pillow?

/YES!

24 Dec 2012 05:15 PM
the_colors     
Next phase:

i5.photobucket.comView Full Size

24 Dec 2012 06:26 PM
machodonkeywrestler     
All pillows will be sold in pairs.

24 Dec 2012 06:40 PM
DerAppie     
So Microsoft invented the internet accessible hugbox (nsfw)?

/Yes dramatica is still alive

24 Dec 2012 06:43 PM
IAAl     
www.dilbert.comView Full Size


//Sooo hot

24 Dec 2012 06:43 PM
janzee     
Internet Accu-jack..

24 Dec 2012 06:45 PM
haywatchthis     

the_colors: Next phase:

[i5.photobucket.com image 330x396]


fleshpillow

24 Dec 2012 06:46 PM
randomjsa     

the_colors: Next phase:

[i5.photobucket.com image 330x396]


www.mercyjohnson.comView Full Size

24 Dec 2012 06:50 PM
Brick-House     
Coming soon... batteries not included.

www.artwithbyte.comView Full Size

24 Dec 2012 06:54 PM
TheMysticS     
Well, there it is. The singularity. Time to give up, we're all doomed.
Where's Kwame? Isn't he the expert round these parts?

/pting

24 Dec 2012 06:56 PM
jtown     
stonedlizard.comView Full Size

24 Dec 2012 06:57 PM
FunkOut    [TotalFark]  
Will it come with an oxytocin injector to replicate the chemical response of embracing real living flesh?

24 Dec 2012 07:00 PM
sweet-daddy-2     
At around twelve years old I fell in love with my pillow.I would hug it 8,9,10 times a night.Ahaaaa,my first love,so many decades gone.

24 Dec 2012 07:05 PM
davynelson     
They've got tricycles in skirts
This is a mouth that needs religion

24 Dec 2012 07:06 PM
ModernLuddite     
If it can make me breakfast in the morning, then leave and never talk to me again I'll buy four right now!

24 Dec 2012 07:06 PM
StrikitRich    [TotalFark]  
Hugging? Didn't Microsoft learn anything from 'squirting' from your Zune?

24 Dec 2012 07:08 PM
Indubitably     
To robot-hug

24 Dec 2012 07:09 PM
OscarTamerz     
I'll wait for the basic pleasure model.
www.hotflick.netView Full Size

24 Dec 2012 07:22 PM
dofus     
Anyone know how to attach a dick to a pillow?

24 Dec 2012 07:23 PM
fisker    [TotalFark]  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size

24 Dec 2012 07:29 PM
belhade     
Subby is pretty sure that this new technology will end up going way beyond "hugging"

My guess is "smothering".

24 Dec 2012 07:31 PM
Mikeyworld     
There was a man from Racine
Who invented a hugging machine.
Both concave and convex,
It could serve either sex.
Entertaining itself in between.

/My fav limerick adapted.
//It fits so good

24 Dec 2012 07:31 PM
DownDaRiver     

24 Dec 2012 07:39 PM
DarkSoulNoHope     
It's the Molest-o-Matic 3000. Recommended by teachers, priests, and guys with 70s era mustaches

24 Dec 2012 07:47 PM
diaphoresis     
Shhhh.... it's ok... just hugging you

www.horrorphile.netView Full Size

24 Dec 2012 07:53 PM
Brick-House     
Pillows that give oral up next

a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.comView Full Size


but do they swallow?

24 Dec 2012 07:56 PM
valkore     

StrikitRich: Hugging? Didn't Microsoft learn anything from 'squirting' from your Zune?


Yeah, they learned having a 52-year-old market executive choose the name a function of wireless file transfer solely based on what the study group of upper-middle-class college students picked as the best word without context as to why it was picked, will further bury the chances of your "iPod killer" actually killing an iPod. (That and releasing an overpriced product way too long after Apple moved on to bigger and better things.)

24 Dec 2012 07:57 PM
ArcadianRefugee     
So Microsoft patented a device that was invented in Japan 5 years ago? Cool.

I'm off to patent the question mark.

24 Dec 2012 08:02 PM
Nina Haagen Dazs    [TotalFark]  

dofus: Anyone know how to attach a dick to a pillow?


A Pildo? I think it's been done.

24 Dec 2012 08:10 PM
Ryker's Peninsula     
What really bothers me is that in the "Recommended For You" section, the first entry is "A Brutal Gang Rape In Delhi Has Shaken India To The Core".

It's like Business Insider has access to my porn folder.

24 Dec 2012 08:11 PM
nytmare     
www.gozergames.comView Full Size

24 Dec 2012 08:17 PM
Porous Horace     
MicroPat softens technology.

24 Dec 2012 08:19 PM
fusillade762     

Nina Haagen Dazs: dofus: Anyone know how to attach a dick to a pillow?

A Pildo? I think it's been done.


I've seen them attached to bouncy exercise balls. I'd post a pic but I don't want to risk the banhammer. Not on Christmas.

24 Dec 2012 08:23 PM
Glendale     
ninjamonkey.usView Full Size

24 Dec 2012 08:30 PM
Ryker's Peninsula     

Glendale: [ninjamonkey.us image 500x375]


So you've met my ex-wife?

24 Dec 2012 08:44 PM
jprogram     
Pillow fight

24 Dec 2012 08:49 PM
Mad_Radhu     
starworksny.comView Full Size


Approves.

24 Dec 2012 08:49 PM
Miss Stein     
i759.photobucket.comView Full Size

24 Dec 2012 09:13 PM
Tumunga     

Brick-House: Pillows that give oral up next

[a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 600x450]

but do they swallow?


Do they need to? Just don't use one made from down. It gets clumpy.

/my friend told me.

24 Dec 2012 09:15 PM
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