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   Finish before your sex partner does? That's a beating

29 Dec 2012 02:17 PM   |   14470 clicks   |   The Smoking Gun
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SomethingToDo     
I thought in most cases it was a schlicking.

29 Dec 2012 02:19 PM
Mentalpatient87     
Some people pay extra for that.

29 Dec 2012 02:19 PM
MemeSlave     
Women always fake it anyway, so where's the crime?

29 Dec 2012 02:19 PM
ciberido     

MemeSlave: Women always fake it with me anyway, so where's the crime?


FTFY

29 Dec 2012 02:21 PM
Bit'O'Gristle     
A Florida woman is jailed on a battery rap for allegedly striking her boyfriend after he "finished first and stopped pleasuring her" during a mutual oral sex session late last night in the victim's home, police report.

/Sometimes, i really don't need to know all the details. Esp if she looks like that. Sure, the guy stopped yodeling in the gulch once his torpedo exploded, but really, is that worth a beating? Hmmm..might be..depends on how good she was.

29 Dec 2012 02:22 PM
wildcardjack     
Redhead?

Reads article. Ugh.... maybe.

29 Dec 2012 02:22 PM
illannoyin     
Could have been worse...

Link

/I'm sorry

29 Dec 2012 02:23 PM
tinfoil-hat maggie    [TotalFark]  

ciberido: MemeSlave: Women always fake it with me anyway, so where's the crime?

FTFY


Have I told you I love you lately ; )

29 Dec 2012 02:24 PM
The My Little Pony Killer    [TotalFark]  

ciberido: MemeSlave: Women always fake it with me anyway, so where's the crime?

FTFY


Flawless.

29 Dec 2012 02:24 PM
Vectron     
The Aristocrats.

seriously, people get some self respect and start acting better

29 Dec 2012 02:26 PM
Trucker     
So when was she his teacher?

29 Dec 2012 02:27 PM
farkin_noob     
Guys this is why you always make sure the woman you're with gets off too. Then we'll be happy and make sammiches.

29 Dec 2012 02:27 PM
bim1154     

illannoyin: Could have been worse...

Link

/I'm sorry


I forgot that I had read that sometime back. I regret not remembering, then re-reading your link. Sometimes nasty isn't a strong enough word.

29 Dec 2012 02:29 PM
muzzrphochr     

illannoyin: Could have been worse...

Link

/I'm sorry


i.cdn.turner.comView Full Size


"However, as Watson approached Williams, "he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams."

would take the throat slitting gladly.

/her vag probably looks like a slit throat.

29 Dec 2012 02:30 PM
Rozinante     

farkin_noob: Guys this is why you always make sure the woman you're with gets off too. Then we'll be happy and make sammiches.


If that's all I have to do to get a sammich, have a seat right here. I love sammiches.

29 Dec 2012 02:33 PM
Fear the Clam     
In before some sad farker starts mansplaining about how he's so great at all things sexual and his email just happens to be in his profile.

29 Dec 2012 02:36 PM
skinink     

So she got a 68 and didn't realize it.


"A deputy noted that Scott said that she was also mad at Deleon because she had "heard [him] having sex with another woman over the phone earlier in the day.""


That sex must've been painful for the person lying over the phone.


29 Dec 2012 02:38 PM
Another Government Employee     
Which is why you give the lady a few minute head start.

29 Dec 2012 02:39 PM
Thanks for the Meme-ries     
i291.photobucket.comView Full Size

29 Dec 2012 02:40 PM
farkin_noob     

Rozinante: farkin_noob: Guys this is why you always make sure the woman you're with gets off too. Then we'll be happy and make sammiches.

If that's all I have to do to get a sammich, have a seat right here. I love sammiches.


But after your sammich I'll expect round 2.

29 Dec 2012 02:42 PM
tinfoil-hat maggie    [TotalFark]  

Thanks for the Meme-ries: [i291.photobucket.com image 764x461]


LoL ;: )
/I like that.

29 Dec 2012 02:42 PM
maxx2112     

MemeSlave: Women always fake it anyway, so where's the crime?


The crime was he was done, and she hadn't gotten him a sammich.

29 Dec 2012 02:55 PM
divgradcurl    [TotalFark]  
"sex is like chinese food. it's not over until everyone gets their cookies..." from alec baldwin's character in outside providence ( i think)

29 Dec 2012 02:56 PM
Do you know the way to Mordor     
What will make it worse for both of them is that oral sex, for some STUPID reason, is illegal in Florida and many other states, so admitting you had it there is like complaining to police that someone has stolen your drug stash.

[citation]

"For instance, oral sex is illegal in 18 states. Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Virginia and Washington D.C. consider people who give or receive oral sex to be criminals. In Georgia, those convicted of oral sex can be charged with no less than one year and no more than 20 years imprisonment."

http://cornellsun.com/node/18235

29 Dec 2012 02:57 PM
MemeSlave     

muzzrphochr: illannoyin: Could have been worse...

Link

/I'm sorry

[i.cdn.turner.com image 200x250]

"However, as Watson approached Williams, "he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams."

would take the throat slitting gladly.

/her vag probably looks like a slit throat.


They all kind of do.

29 Dec 2012 02:58 PM
gblive     
What part of "Get out, I'm done" does she not understand.

29 Dec 2012 03:00 PM
muzzrphochr     

Do you know the way to Mordor: What will make it worse for both of them is that oral sex, for some STUPID reason, is illegal in Florida and many other states, so admitting you had it there is like complaining to police that someone has stolen your drug stash.

[citation]

"For instance, oral sex is illegal in 18 states. Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Virginia and Washington D.C. consider people who give or receive oral sex to be criminals. In Georgia, those convicted of oral sex can be charged with no less than one year and no more than 20 years imprisonment."

http://cornellsun.com/node/18235


well now I know 18 states I will likely never visit.

29 Dec 2012 03:03 PM
Cheron     
If you ever want a repeat it is best to make sure your partner enjoys herself as much as you did.

29 Dec 2012 03:03 PM
cig-mkr     
What's the problem? If you both start at the same time, she needs to try and keep up.
Or she could have warmed it up ten minutes before him.

29 Dec 2012 03:04 PM
farkin_noob     

Cheron: If you ever want a repeat it is best to make sure your partner enjoys herself as much as you did.


QFT!!!

29 Dec 2012 03:05 PM
maxx2112     

MemeSlave: muzzrphochr: illannoyin: Could have been worse...

Link

/I'm sorry

[i.cdn.turner.com image 200x250]

"However, as Watson approached Williams, "he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams."

would take the throat slitting gladly.

/her vag probably looks like a slit throat.

They all kind of do.

i1089.photobucket.comView Full Size


/ I'd have eight nickels!

29 Dec 2012 03:05 PM
Confusean     
Man she is ugly, looks like someone really farked her face up.

29 Dec 2012 03:06 PM
tinfoil-hat maggie    [TotalFark]  

Do you know the way to Mordor: What will make it worse for both of them is that oral sex, for some STUPID reason, is illegal in Florida and many other states, so admitting you had it there is like complaining to police that someone has stolen your drug stash.

[citation]

"For instance, oral sex is illegal in 18 states. Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Virginia and Washington D.C. consider people who give or receive oral sex to be criminals. In Georgia, those convicted of oral sex can be charged with no less than one year and no more than 20 years imprisonment."

http://cornellsun.com/node/18235


I am such a criminal in my state, multiple counts, I guess I've never been caught.. Also I thought they overruled the sodomy laws through the supreme court. Maybe not?

29 Dec 2012 03:07 PM
MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
media.247sports.comView Full Size

29 Dec 2012 03:12 PM
Indypendy     

tinfoil-hat maggie: Do you know the way to Mordor: What will make it worse for both of them is that oral sex, for some STUPID reason, is illegal in Florida and many other states, so admitting you had it there is like complaining to police that someone has stolen your drug stash.

[citation]

"For instance, oral sex is illegal in 18 states. Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Virginia and Washington D.C. consider people who give or receive oral sex to be criminals. In Georgia, those convicted of oral sex can be charged with no less than one year and no more than 20 years imprisonment."

http://cornellsun.com/node/18235

I am such a criminal in my state, multiple counts, I guess I've never been caught.. Also I thought they overruled the sodomy laws through the supreme court. Maybe not?


Not positive, but it may fall into the "crimes against nature" category in Louisiana.

29 Dec 2012 03:12 PM
bighairyguy    [TotalFark]  
I call shenanigans, no mention of a trailer anywhere in the article.

29 Dec 2012 03:13 PM
cig-mkr     
Or as I've stated in the past: Sometimes men just want to be held and not be treated like a piece of meat. We need a little kissing and such to get in the mood, wine us, dine us. Just to demand us to "get it up, because I want it now!" demeans us and makes us feel like manwhores. And let me throw this in too, foreplay is really nice, I just hate it when a woman comes into the room, checks the package and gropes a feel. We are sensitive human beings and sometime just laying nude together and spooning is enough.

29 Dec 2012 03:14 PM
tinfoil-hat maggie    [TotalFark]  

Indypendy: tinfoil-hat maggie: Do you know the way to Mordor: What will make it worse for both of them is that oral sex, for some STUPID reason, is illegal in Florida and many other states, so admitting you had it there is like complaining to police that someone has stolen your drug stash.

[citation]

"For instance, oral sex is illegal in 18 states. Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Virginia and Washington D.C. consider people who give or receive oral sex to be criminals. In Georgia, those convicted of oral sex can be charged with no less than one year and no more than 20 years imprisonment."

http://cornellsun.com/node/18235

I am such a criminal in my state, multiple counts, I guess I've never been caught.. Also I thought they overruled the sodomy laws through the supreme court. Maybe not?

Not positive, but it may fall into the "crimes against nature" category in Louisiana.


I think everything is illegal in Louisiana, don't quote me on that but, wow, even I feel bad for the people that live there. Granted I think New Orleans is like a free city or something but what do I know.

29 Dec 2012 03:17 PM
Another Government Employee     

Do you know the way to Mordor: What will make it worse for both of them is that oral sex, for some STUPID reason, is illegal in Florida and many other states, so admitting you had it there is like complaining to police that someone has stolen your drug stash.

[citation]

"For instance, oral sex is illegal in 18 states. Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Virginia and Washington D.C. consider people who give or receive oral sex to be criminals. In Georgia, those convicted of oral sex can be charged with no less than one year and no more than 20 years imprisonment."

http://cornellsun.com/node/18235


The Georgia sodomy law was invalidated by a court case a while ago. There have been a couple of attempts to repeal it, but they have gone nowhere.

29 Dec 2012 03:18 PM
Lionel Mandrake    [TotalFark]  
Jilberto?

29 Dec 2012 03:20 PM
bearded clamorer    [TotalFark]  
i.cdn.turner.comView Full Size


Malcolm McDowell has really let himself go.

29 Dec 2012 03:20 PM
farkin_noob     

cig-mkr: Or as I've stated in the past: Sometimes men just want to be held and not be treated like a piece of meat. We need a little kissing and such to get in the mood, wine us, dine us. Just to demand us to "get it up, because I want it now!" demeans us and makes us feel like manwhores. And let me throw this in too, foreplay is really nice, I just hate it when a woman comes into the room, checks the package and gropes a feel. We are sensitive human beings and sometime just laying nude together and spooning is enough.


[know how I know you're gay.JPEG]

29 Dec 2012 03:22 PM
The One True TheDavid     
farkin_noob:

Guys this is why you always make sure the woman you're with gets off too. Then we'll be happy and make sammiches.

Agreed.

But you don't have to beat us every time you're left hanging, do you?

/battle scarred

29 Dec 2012 03:22 PM
The One True TheDavid     

farkin_noob: Rozinante: farkin_noob: Guys this is why you always make sure the woman you're with gets off too. Then we'll be happy and make sammiches.

If that's all I have to do to get a sammich, have a seat right here. I love sammiches.

But after your sammich I'll expect round 2.


Oh no. Please. Not again. Can't I scrub the toilet instead?

29 Dec 2012 03:24 PM
NickBush24    [TotalFark]  

Another Government Employee: Do you know the way to Mordor: What will make it worse for both of them is that oral sex, for some STUPID reason, is illegal in Florida and many other states, so admitting you had it there is like complaining to police that someone has stolen your drug stash.

[citation]

"For instance, oral sex is illegal in 18 states. Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Virginia and Washington D.C. consider people who give or receive oral sex to be criminals. In Georgia, those convicted of oral sex can be charged with no less than one year and no more than 20 years imprisonment."

http://cornellsun.com/node/18235

The Georgia sodomy law was invalidated by a court case a while ago. There have been a couple of attempts to repeal it, but they have gone nowhere.


Lawrence v. Texas invalidated all anti-sodomy laws, IIRC.

29 Dec 2012 03:25 PM
farkin_noob     

The One True TheDavid: farkin_noob:

Guys this is why you always make sure the woman you're with gets off too. Then we'll be happy and make sammiches.

Agreed.

But you don't have to beat us every time you're left hanging, do you?

/battle scarred


I told you I like to play rough. Now get back here and finish what you started.

*whipcrack*

29 Dec 2012 03:25 PM
Cheron     

cig-mkr: We need a little kissing


You're a better man than I, after finishing 69 first I'm not really in the mode to make out.

29 Dec 2012 03:26 PM
tinfoil-hat maggie    [TotalFark]  

farkin_noob: cig-mkr: Or as I've stated in the past: Sometimes men just want to be held and not be treated like a piece of meat. We need a little kissing and such to get in the mood, wine us, dine us. Just to demand us to "get it up, because I want it now!" demeans us and makes us feel like manwhores. And let me throw this in too, foreplay is really nice, I just hate it when a woman comes into the room, checks the package and gropes a feel. We are sensitive human beings and sometime just laying nude together and spooning is enough.

[know how I know you're gay.JPEG]


You forgot to add NTTATWWT or did you?
/ He sounds sweet ; )

29 Dec 2012 03:28 PM
Indypendy     

tinfoil-hat maggie: Indypendy: tinfoil-hat maggie: Do you know the way to Mordor: What will make it worse for both of them is that oral sex, for some STUPID reason, is illegal in Florida and many other states, so admitting you had it there is like complaining to police that someone has stolen your drug stash.

[citation]

"For instance, oral sex is illegal in 18 states. Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Virginia and Washington D.C. consider people who give or receive oral sex to be criminals. In Georgia, those convicted of oral sex can be charged with no less than one year and no more than 20 years imprisonment."

http://cornellsun.com/node/18235

I am such a criminal in my state, multiple counts, I guess I've never been caught.. Also I thought they overruled the sodomy laws through the supreme court. Maybe not?

Not positive, but it may fall into the "crimes against nature" category in Louisiana.

I think everything is illegal in Louisiana, don't quote me on that but, wow, even I feel bad for the people that live there. Granted I think New Orleans is like a free city or something but what do I know.


It's not as bad as you might think lol. You just have to maintain your sense of humor. :)

Those laws are only important to those who get caught. If you get caught giving a bj, odds are you were doing something stupid.

29 Dec 2012 03:28 PM
ElLoco     

illannoyin: Could have been worse...

Link

/I'm sorry


Well. That's just awful. Thanks.

29 Dec 2012 03:30 PM
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