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   Gym owner turns tables on attacker, offers him a discount membership

29 Dec 2012 04:27 PM   |   11530 clicks   |   KGW Portland
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vossiewulf    [TotalFark]  
The thief ran off with the printer but Price hopes his attacker learned a valuable lesson.

So he risked his life over a printer, and didn't get it back or catch the bad guy. Needs much more dumbass tag.

29 Dec 2012 01:39 PM
ArkAngel    [TotalFark]  

vossiewulf: The thief ran off with the printer but Price hopes his attacker learned a valuable lesson.

So he risked his life over a printer, and didn't get it back or catch the bad guy. Needs much more dumbass tag.


He managed to stab him in the side. Might be worth it depending on the type of printer

29 Dec 2012 02:36 PM
xanadian    [TotalFark]  

ArkAngel: vossiewulf: The thief ran off with the printer but Price hopes his attacker learned a valuable lesson.

So he risked his life over a printer, and didn't get it back or catch the bad guy. Needs much more dumbass tag.

He managed to stab him in the side. Might be worth it depending on the type of printer


I'm sure the police will be canvassing the ERs in the area looking for someone with this particular injury.

29 Dec 2012 03:05 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     

xanadian: I'm sure the police will be canvassing the ERs in the area looking for someone with this particular injury.


"This? Nah, I got this playing shuffleboard. Did you know that it's one of the toughest contact sports out there?"


ArkAngel: He managed to stab him in the side. Might be worth it depending on the type of printer


If it's a dot matrix printer, you'd best believe that I'll risk life and limb for that ish.

29 Dec 2012 03:18 PM
vossiewulf    [TotalFark]  
An $80 printer for me does not rise to "worth dying or killing someone for". Potentially lethal action is reserved for when I, someone in my family, or an innocent person are at immediate risk of injury.

29 Dec 2012 03:21 PM
Martian_Astronomer     
Hard to say from the article, but it sounds to me like the knife didn't really come out until the guy was confronted. Still possibly not the smartest thing in the world to do, but he didn't necessarily pick a fight with a guy who was already brandishing a knife at him.

29 Dec 2012 04:32 PM
AbiNormal     
To all those saying that it wasn't worth the risk. Do you know how much printer ink costs?!?!

29 Dec 2012 04:41 PM
moike     
Justified risk given the cost of ink cartridges...

29 Dec 2012 04:41 PM
mekkab     
He picked the wrong wigger the fark with!


/sorry, been listening to drum-n-bass all day and just finished working out
//about 23 minutes ago...

29 Dec 2012 04:42 PM
Punk Floyd     
Joke's on the thief; that printer was almost out of ink.

29 Dec 2012 04:43 PM
Punk Floyd     
Damn you, farkers!

/shakes tiny fist

29 Dec 2012 04:44 PM
YippeeYay     
We're here for the free dismemberment.
Huh uh uh!

29 Dec 2012 04:44 PM
illannoyin     
Have they canvassed the area within a 26 minute drive from the gym?

29 Dec 2012 04:49 PM
TheHighlandHowler    [TotalFark]  
I call BS.  Why was the printer (that he "got for Christmas"-which is irrelevant but mentioned twice) still in the car if he came to drop it off?

29 Dec 2012 04:50 PM
Dragonflew     
He is not a hero, unless he is a) enlisted, or b) a chicken.

29 Dec 2012 04:51 PM
99.998er     

TheHighlandHowler: I call BS.  Why was the printer (that he "got for Christmas"-which is irrelevant but mentioned twice) still in the car if he came to drop it off?


...or why would the perp drop the knife but not the more cumbersome printer?

29 Dec 2012 04:54 PM
Arcturus72    [TotalFark]  

99.998er: TheHighlandHowler: I call BS.  Why was the printer (that he "got for Christmas"-which is irrelevant but mentioned twice) still in the car if he came to drop it off?

...or why would the perp drop the knife but not the more cumbersome printer?


And why would they report that he picked up the knife, but had to defend against a possible neck of face stabbing himself? Did the guy brandish 2 knives somehow?

29 Dec 2012 04:58 PM
mraudacia     
being desperate does funny things to people.

personally i think the guy should have let the printer go, and said merry xmas, it would have done more damage to the thiefs conscience than any stab in the side would have.

besides, taking on someone with a knife regardless of your physical strength is pretty stupid, scars last forever, and the ones through thick muscle hurt forever, as any body builder who has had an operation will surely tell you.

the only time you should ever get in a scuffle when your attacker has a weapon is if you have absolutely no choice.

29 Dec 2012 05:00 PM
wambu     
[carplowingthroughbicyclists.jpg]

29 Dec 2012 05:02 PM
omeganuepsilon     

Arcturus72: 99.998er: TheHighlandHowler: I call BS.  Why was the printer (that he "got for Christmas"-which is irrelevant but mentioned twice) still in the car if he came to drop it off?

...or why would the perp drop the knife but not the more cumbersome printer?

And why would they report that he picked up the knife, but had to defend against a possible neck of face stabbing himself? Did the guy brandish 2 knives somehow?


This and that.

Something off kilter here.

29 Dec 2012 05:03 PM
Bslim     
Has the meaning of "fit" changed to include "doughy" recently?

29 Dec 2012 05:17 PM
WTP 2     
so stabbed in the side and carrying a printer he got away,,,
sounds like he is in shape

29 Dec 2012 05:18 PM
Smacker     

mraudacia: being desperate does funny things to people.

personally i think the guy should have let the printer go, and said merry xmas, it would have done more damage to the thiefs conscience than any stab in the side would have.

besides, taking on someone with a knife regardless of your physical strength is pretty stupid, scars last forever, and the ones through thick muscle hurt forever, as any body builder who has had an operation will surely tell you.

the only time you should ever get in a scuffle when your attacker has a weapon is if you have absolutely no choice.


I think someone mentioned this already, but it sounds like the gym owner approached the person messing about with his car, and then the that person pull out a knife. Most thieves don't have a guilty conscience; if anything, if the gym owner had done what you suggest, the thief would have laughed & told his friends how much of an idiot pussy the guy was for saying 'merry christmas' when he was being stolen from.

29 Dec 2012 05:20 PM
99.998er     

omeganuepsilon: Arcturus72: 99.998er: TheHighlandHowler: I call BS.  Why was the printer (that he "got for Christmas"-which is irrelevant but mentioned twice) still in the car if he came to drop it off?

...or why would the perp drop the knife but not the more cumbersome printer?

And why would they report that he picked up the knife, but had to defend against a possible neck of face stabbing himself? Did the guy brandish 2 knives somehow?

This and that.

Something off kilter here.


This guy was incredibly fortunate. He came away unscathed against a 3 armed Ninja with a stab wound in his side that was able to retreat with his the victim's printer. I am no Joe Friday, but I think this case is closed.

But check the pawn shops to be sure

29 Dec 2012 05:21 PM
iron_city_ap     
The printer is already out of ink.

29 Dec 2012 05:23 PM
lymond01     

vossiewulf: The thief ran off with the printer but Price hopes his attacker learned a valuable lesson.

So he risked his life over a printer, and didn't get it back or catch the bad guy. Needs much more dumbass tag.


Old boy, it's the principle of the thing, don't you see. Bully good show there. Certainly gave him the ol' one two. Bravo, I say. Brav-o!

29 Dec 2012 05:32 PM
gblive     
All the gym owners near us in North Caroiina have concealed carry permits. This would have ended very differently when the criminal threatened the owner with a knife.

29 Dec 2012 05:44 PM
Cyclometh    [TotalFark]  
I don't understand why Fark takes the side of a thief. It doesn't matter that he was taking something of little perceived value to you. He was a thief who took out a knife when the owner of the car confronted him. Where is the howling for blood or the wishes that the guy had gotten shot?

29 Dec 2012 05:46 PM
lewismarktwo     
Or, you know, next time put your printer in the trunk.

/tinted windows should be standard

29 Dec 2012 05:50 PM
studebaker hoch     
Lawyer up immediately.

Can you claim self-defense if you confront someone breaking into your car?

I can just see some milquetoast asking: "Why didn't you remain in a safe area and call the police?"

29 Dec 2012 05:58 PM
masterofnothing    [TotalFark]  
I read that as  gun owner, because FARK.

29 Dec 2012 05:58 PM
studebaker hoch     
Pretend there is no glass in any of your car windows, then decide where you want to leave things "just for a moment".

Thieves need less than ten seconds to bust a window, snag a purse or whatever else they noticed, conceal it, and calmly keep walking.

29 Dec 2012 06:13 PM
Bit'O'Gristle     
Price was able to grab the knife and stab the thief in the side. Otherwise he may have been stabbed in the neck or the face.

i1353.photobucket.comView Full Size

29 Dec 2012 06:17 PM
Amusement     
Thinks gym owner made story up. Printer, sminter..next up why guys think they can get into a knife fight..without a knife.

29 Dec 2012 06:33 PM
AssAsInAssassin     
FTA: "Otherwise he may have been stabbed in the neck or the face.

Or the chest, or the thigh, or the back, or the stomach or the arm...

29 Dec 2012 06:40 PM
MorteDiem     

Cyclometh: I don't understand why Fark takes the side of a thief. It doesn't matter that he was taking something of little perceived value to you. He was a thief who took out a knife when the owner of the car confronted him. Where is the howling for blood or the wishes that the guy had gotten shot?


I believe Farkers are taking sides against poor journalism and doubtful circumstances.
It's ok though, since we have always been at war
with Eastasia.

29 Dec 2012 06:49 PM
Mouser     
Should've given him a boot to the head.

29 Dec 2012 07:06 PM
proteus_b     
where's the physically fit gym owner? i just see a picture of a smirking fattie...

29 Dec 2012 07:23 PM
datoneer     
Greg is a former body builder as well. So this thief is lucky he got away with his head on his shoulders.

29 Dec 2012 07:33 PM
felching pen     
DA will give the perp a choice: 6 months in lockup plus a fine or a two-year membership contract and monthly dues at the gym. He'll enjoy jail, at least he'll get his money's worth.

29 Dec 2012 07:43 PM
datoneer     

proteus_b: where's the physically fit gym owner? i just see a picture of a smirking fattie...


Fattie?

Bslim: Has the meaning of "fit" changed to include "doughy" recently?


Yes obviously since he is wearing sweats he must be Fat. If he pulled that hoodie off your manhood would shrivel up. This guy met and worked out with Arnold (True Story) I have seen the pictures.

29 Dec 2012 07:47 PM
xanadian    [TotalFark]  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: ArkAngel: He managed to stab him in the side. Might be worth it depending on the type of printer

If it's a dot matrix printer, you'd best believe that I'll risk life and limb for that ish.


The classics are always the best. I'd suggest to the gym owner that he should check for that shiat on eBay.

29 Dec 2012 08:00 PM
xanadian    [TotalFark]  
In other news, our offices still use dot matrix printers to print bills and shiat. NO JOKE

29 Dec 2012 08:01 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     

xanadian: The classics are always the best. I'd suggest to the gym owner that he should check for that shiat on eBay.


Aren't they, though?

The black and green monitors were the greatest things EVER!

(If not eBay, he could always check the flea markets.)


xanadian: In other news, our offices still use dot matrix printers to print bills and shiat. NO JOKE


! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

THAT IS SO PIMP :D

I always loved tearing off those tabs from the sides of the paper!

29 Dec 2012 08:05 PM
omeganuepsilon     

MorteDiem: Cyclometh: I don't understand why Fark takes the side of a thief. It doesn't matter that he was taking something of little perceived value to you. He was a thief who took out a knife when the owner of the car confronted him. Where is the howling for blood or the wishes that the guy had gotten shot?

I believe Farkers are taking sides against poor journalism and doubtful circumstances.
It's ok though, since we have always been at war
with Eastasia.


Nice.

What I don't get is how so many people are so genuinely ignorant(frequency seems to be on the rise on Fark). /They can't ALL be trolls can they?
//maybe it's the same few morons with alts

29 Dec 2012 08:20 PM
jmr61     
There's every chance this story is complete bullshiat.

29 Dec 2012 08:27 PM
proteus_b     

datoneer: Yes obviously since he is wearing sweats he must be Fat. If he pulled that hoodie off your manhood would shrivel up. This guy met and worked out with Arnold (True Story) I have seen the pictures.


good for him... my krav maga instructor is the head of krav maga instruction in the israeli army, it doesn't mean that i can even beat johnny hoodrat in a fight... the guy's fat, it's not a mortal nor venal sin but he's hardly the image of a "physically fit gym owner" that one might conceive...

29 Dec 2012 08:44 PM
studebaker hoch     
jmr61

There's every chance this story is complete bullshiat.

Everything you hear, from anyone, is their "official version of events".

29 Dec 2012 08:50 PM
Dewar     
This story ends with the guy coming back where he knows he can find the owner and shooting him as payback. Maybe in a few days, or a few months...and at least now he can print directions to get there...

29 Dec 2012 11:57 PM
Slutter McGee     
Imagaine how much easier that would have been if he could have pulled out his firearm and told the man to stop. Wait, never mind, SAANNNDDYHOOKKK, that would make the man and evil conservative.

30 Dec 2012 12:26 AM
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