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   Guy asks liquor store clerk to watch his infant, while he runs out for a smoke. Hours later, he finally returns, drunk. Clerk actually gives him baby back. Guy proceeds to go lay down in middle of street with baby

02 Jan 2013 12:29 AM   |   7498 clicks   |   Pix11
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Bathia_Mapes    [TotalFark]  
You have to wonder why the clerk didn't call the police after the man left the store.

01 Jan 2013 08:31 PM
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2xhelix    [TotalFark]  
Clerk is a total idiot for giving the baby back.  He should have demanded babysitting money first.

01 Jan 2013 09:31 PM
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TheDumbBlonde     
It's Daytona.

01 Jan 2013 09:35 PM
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fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
This guy won't be winning Father of the Year awards anytime soon.

Of course not. It's just the first day. He's going to have plenty of competition.

02 Jan 2013 12:04 AM
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shanrick    [TotalFark]  
They should do way instain father.

02 Jan 2013 12:10 AM
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FirstNationalBastard    [TotalFark]  

2xhelix: Clerk is a total idiot for giving the baby back.  He should have demanded babysitting money first.


He wasn't even supposed to be there today.

02 Jan 2013 12:23 AM
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almandot     
I hope the cashier gave him a stern talking to about how he needed to be more responsible and this was totally unacceptable before handing the baby over and then talking with coworkers about how they were this close to calling the police.

02 Jan 2013 12:37 AM
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Hector Remarkable     
My Dad never came back to the liquor store. And so there I grew, next to the Jack Daniels, under the vodka, until I was old enough to leave my own child in the liquor store and wander away.

02 Jan 2013 12:39 AM
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Bathia_Mapes    [TotalFark]  

Hector Remarkable: My Dad never came back to the liquor store. And so there I grew, next to the Jack Daniels, under the vodka, until I was old enough to leave my own child in the liquor store and wander away.


Ah, sweet memories.

02 Jan 2013 12:48 AM
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Birnone     
Duh duh... duh duh... duh duh... Shark Lounge! We're gonna need a bigger boat! Baby goes into cage, cage goes into lounge. Shark's in the lounge. Our shark.

02 Jan 2013 12:48 AM
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danielscissorhands     
In before liquor i hardly know her jokes.

02 Jan 2013 12:50 AM
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picturescrazy     

FirstNationalBastard: 2xhelix: Clerk is a total idiot for giving the baby back.  He should have demanded babysitting money first.

He wasn't even supposed to be there today.


Came here for that, or to make the joke myself.

02 Jan 2013 12:51 AM
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sweet-daddy-2     
A sweet-daddy?I think not.

02 Jan 2013 12:52 AM
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BarkingUnicorn    [TotalFark]  

Birnone: Duh duh... duh duh... duh duh... Shark Lounge! We're gonna need a bigger boat! Baby goes into cage, cage goes into lounge. Shark's in the lounge. Our shark.


Another article says it's a combination liquor store and strip club.

02 Jan 2013 12:54 AM
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Summer Glau's Love Slave     

shanrick: They should do way instain father.


Curse you, villain!

/Beat me to it.
/+1

shanrick: They should do way instain father.


02 Jan 2013 01:03 AM
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belhade     
I love these stories; they make me feel like less of a failure as a father.

02 Jan 2013 01:03 AM
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baronvonzipper     
So the clerk got no hits on EBay?

/was not looking

02 Jan 2013 01:06 AM
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Insurgent     

Hector Remarkable: My Dad never came back to the liquor store. And so there I grew, next to the Jack Daniels, under the vodka, until I was old enough to leave my own child in the liquor store and wander away.

i156.photobucket.com

02 Jan 2013 01:08 AM
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Hagenhatesyouall     
"Here, watch this baby for a spell......"

02 Jan 2013 01:12 AM
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ExperianScaresCthulhu     
He sounds suicidal. This is a bad situation all the way around.

02 Jan 2013 01:13 AM
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Long Pig     
Stay classy, Florida.

02 Jan 2013 01:14 AM
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drewogatory     
Who agrees to watch someone's baby? i would have told him to fark off from the getgo.

02 Jan 2013 01:15 AM
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ban_sidhe    [TotalFark]  
I see we have a "misuse of the word lay in a headline" trifecta in play.

02 Jan 2013 01:19 AM
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fusillade762    [TotalFark]  

BarkingUnicorn: Birnone: Duh duh... duh duh... duh duh... Shark Lounge! We're gonna need a bigger boat! Baby goes into cage, cage goes into lounge. Shark's in the lounge. Our shark.

Another article says it's a combination liquor store and strip club.


One-stop shopping!

02 Jan 2013 01:22 AM
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Gyrfalcon     
Police say Rowe left the store with the baby, wandered into traffic and laid down in the street. The pathetic papa then hid from police in the bushes, but the scared tot gave him away by crying in the cold.
 The only thing I can assume is that not only have the regular reporters taken the holiday off, even the second-stringers have gone home, and the only ones left writing this crap are the retarded janitors who usually sweep up the place at 4 a.m.

02 Jan 2013 01:26 AM
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Maysin     

Gyrfalcon: Police say Rowe left the store with the baby, wandered into traffic and laid down in the street. The pathetic papa then hid from police in the bushes, but the scared tot gave him away by crying in the cold.
 The only thing I can assume is that not only have the regular reporters taken the holiday off, even the second-stringers have gone home, and the only ones left writing this crap are the retarded janitors who usually sweep up the place at 4 a.m.


It seems the reporter learned to write articles at the Daily Fail...

/lives in Daytona until May
// swears no one originally from Daytona passed the 8th grade

02 Jan 2013 01:35 AM
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Bung_Howdy     
TITTY BAR/liquor store

02 Jan 2013 01:38 AM
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Hector Remarkable     

Bung_Howdy: TITTY BAR/liquor store


fresh air/Times Square

you are my wife
good-bye, city life
Green Acres we are theeeeere,
nun nun nun nun nun
nun-nun

02 Jan 2013 01:57 AM
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rockforever     

almandot: I hope the cashier gave him a stern talking to about how he needed to be more responsible and this was totally unacceptable before handing the baby over and then talking with coworkers about how they were this close to calling the police.


Yes, that is exactly how it went down... except the clerk did call the police and you didn't read the article. D'oh.

02 Jan 2013 02:51 AM
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red5ish     

Hector Remarkable: My Dad never came back to the liquor store. And so there I grew, next to the Jack Daniels, under the vodka, until I was old enough to leave my own child in the liquor store and wander away.


Dad?

02 Jan 2013 03:24 AM
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Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom     

drewogatory: Who agrees to watch someone's baby? i would have told him to fark off from the getgo.


We have something called manners down here in FLA.

02 Jan 2013 03:30 AM
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JorgiX     
"Hold my baby and watch this..."

02 Jan 2013 03:35 AM
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Mitch Mitchell     

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: drewogatory: Who agrees to watch someone's baby? i would have told him to fark off from the getgo.

We have something called manners down here in FLA.


I learn something new every day.

02 Jan 2013 04:08 AM
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wademh     
He stood there at the end of the cliff. He didn't understand, what strange impulse was it that tempted him to jump?
Part of his brain was screaming, step back away from the edge, it's dangerous, you could slip and you would die. Dying is bad.
But somewhere else in his brain there was a draw, like gravity reaching up and around the lip of the cliff. If he would just step forward, he would fulfill his destiny, One small step and he could minimize his potential energy and accelerate toward his thermodynamically inevitable state.

How could a brain trick someone so? How could it propel them towards the opposite of what is for their own good?
The sophomoric scientists points to the obvious: You stare at an intense red light and then close your eyes. You _see_ green, as your neurons present the equivalent of a photographic negative, an opposite of what is real. You can even decompose the same to a biomolecular mechanism as pathways of G-Protein coupled receptors reach saturated responses and the coupled neuronal pathways experience a rebounded flux of stimulus that presents as the inverse of the Weeners.

But that all seems too simple. Sure it works for vision. That negative is trivial, easily experienced and easily explained. While the desire to jump off a cliff, the antithesis of self-preservation as a rebound effect to the fear of falling off a cliff is far far too complex a process to presume that the same mechanisms apply. What of free will? What of higher cognitive process?

No, you say, humans are far to complex to be so trivially attracted to that which is clearly and compellingly against their best interests. There's no real evidence of humans reacting in this contrarian manner in the real world. People do not reproducibly at in ways that are obviously and trivially contrary to their best interests.


\ dating

02 Jan 2013 04:33 AM
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Rocknutts     
I'm sure that baby had an odor....a strong odor!

02 Jan 2013 04:37 AM
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Buffet     
Big Farkin' deal.

02 Jan 2013 05:36 AM
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Alfonso the Great     
This reads like something out of Dwarf Fortress.

/Urist Floridian cancels drink: Seeking infant

02 Jan 2013 05:44 AM
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LowbrowDeluxe     
Odds are the clerk was a parent themselves. Anyone whose raised a newborn would probably give this the Chris Rock treatment. "I'm not saying it's RIGHT. I'm just saying, I UNDERSTAND."

02 Jan 2013 06:03 AM
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Hector Remarkable     

red5ish: Hector Remarkable: My Dad never came back to the liquor store. And so there I grew, next to the Jack Daniels, under the vodka, until I was old enough to leave my own child in the liquor store and wander away.

Dad?


Jose? Little Jose Cuervo? Is that you?

02 Jan 2013 06:30 AM
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offmymeds     

drewogatory: Who agrees to watch someone's baby? i would have told him to fark off from the getgo.


Perzackly!

02 Jan 2013 06:46 AM
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Mad Mark     
The Reverend predicted this would happen.
Link

02 Jan 2013 06:49 AM
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NephilimNexus     
I'd totally give the guy the baby back. Go Darwin.

02 Jan 2013 07:49 AM
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wambu     
So you're saying this is wrong?

02 Jan 2013 08:17 AM
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Farce-Side     

BarkingUnicorn: Birnone: Duh duh... duh duh... duh duh... Shark Lounge! We're gonna need a bigger boat! Baby goes into cage, cage goes into lounge. Shark's in the lounge. Our shark.

Another article says it's a combination liquor store and strip club.


Bought liquor there on a trip to Daytona. It is a combo store/strip club, and got shut down for prostitution a couple of weeks after we left. Stayed long enough to buy a bottle of whiskey, but not long enough to catch the first show of the day. The talent that was hanging around the liquor store before the club opened was not intriguing at all, and actually kind of scary. I can totally see this happening there.

02 Jan 2013 11:02 AM
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Jon iz teh kewl     

shanrick: They should do way instain father.


agreed

03 Jan 2013 07:18 AM
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Loaf's Tray     
** BARBECUE SAUCE **

03 Jan 2013 12:00 PM
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