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   You know your apartment has a bedbug problem when you can scoop up spoonfuls of them from your couch. "We've already thrown away 10 couches"

04 Jan 2013 03:42 AM   |   13865 clicks   |   AZ Family
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Ivo Shandor    [TotalFark]  
I recommend fire, and lots of it. Hate those little bastards.

03 Jan 2013 09:41 PM
Earguy    [TotalFark]  
*HORK*

03 Jan 2013 09:49 PM
SoothinglyDeranged     
Well, that's f*cking disgusting.

03 Jan 2013 10:20 PM
Byn     
*BARF*

03 Jan 2013 10:25 PM
sithon    [TotalFark]  
DDT, accept no substitutes.

03 Jan 2013 10:50 PM
Benevolent Misanthrope    [TotalFark]  
I don't even know what one looks like.  I've read they look like apple seeds, but nothing on that spoon looks like an apple seed.

03 Jan 2013 11:34 PM
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
Maricopa County

Get sheriff Joe on it!

03 Jan 2013 11:50 PM
Sock Ruh Tease     
*RALPH*

03 Jan 2013 11:53 PM
usernameguy    [TotalFark]  
I seriously thought that said "crotch."

03 Jan 2013 11:54 PM
cretinbob     
farking sanitation, how does it work?

03 Jan 2013 11:55 PM
Kingly Weevil     

cretinbob: farking sanitation, how does it work?


That pretty much does nothing to stop bed bugs. They're like lice, but worse. They don't care if you're dirty or not. Short of throwing away all your clothes, sheets, curtains, towels, washer, dryer, furniture, and tearing up all the carpet....When it comes to bed bugs on that scale, you're reduced to scorched earth or nothing. And if anyone in the apartments around you still has them, it doesn't matter because they're coming back even if you get rid of them.

04 Jan 2013 12:00 AM
Kingly Weevil     
My real question here is, How the f*ck do you afford ten couches before you can afford to leave your f*cking apartment?

04 Jan 2013 12:01 AM
AdolfOliverPanties     

cretinbob: farking sanitation, how does it work?


Not at all on bedbugs is how it works.  These people do not have infestations because they lack cleanliness.  These motherfarkers can be as thin as a sheet of paper and can hide anywhere.  In electrical outlets, folds of any kind of furniture, behind paintings or pictures, in drawers or wardrobes, in shoes, behind baseboards, in thermostats...practically anywhere.

Pest control is near farking useless as they have become more and more resistant to sprays.  About the only thing you can do is drown them, burn them or dry them out.  They are FAR worse than lice or any other pest I can think of.

Took two years to get rid of them when we had them.  At least six visits from pest control, washing everything we owned.

That accomplished nothing. I too got rid of couches.  Three of them.  Got rid of box springs and mattresses.

Finally dried the bastards out by putting diatamaceous earth powder on practically everything.  That shiat is like tiny little razorblades to them.  Cuts them up and dries them out.

04 Jan 2013 12:11 AM
Ivo Shandor    [TotalFark]  

cretinbob: farking sanitation, how does it work?


Bedbugs don't eat dirt, or skin flakes, or spilled cheetos. They only crave blood. And if you live in an apartment it doesn't matter how well you look after your own suite, because they will come through the walls (via electrical outlets or water pipes) and under your door from across the hallway.

Those bugs are out there. They can't be bargained with. They can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are itching like a motherfarker.

04 Jan 2013 12:45 AM
violentsalvation    [TotalFark]  
Gak! Those bastards are why I hate staying in hotels. I would rather sleep in my car than bring a load of those f*ckers home.

04 Jan 2013 12:45 AM
Coco LaFemme     
That is goddamn disgusting.

04 Jan 2013 01:07 AM
Philbb    [TotalFark]  
My oldest daughter dealt with them at one point. The apartment management paid to have her apt baked three time. She had to pay for it the fourth time, but the exterminator told her if she found another bedbug within a (short period of time) they would come back for free. She found live bedbugs within 36 hours of having her apt treated the next few times. She threw away so many mattresses, box springs, couches, chairs and items of clothing that I lost track.

We/she thought that the problem was mostly under control when she moved out. By the time we got her stuff out to the trucks, half of her furniture was obviously infested.

04 Jan 2013 01:13 AM
simplicimus     

AdolfOliverPanties: cretinbob: farking sanitation, how does it work?

Not at all on bedbugs is how it works.  These people do not have infestations because they lack cleanliness.  These motherfarkers can be as thin as a sheet of paper and can hide anywhere.  In electrical outlets, folds of any kind of furniture, behind paintings or pictures, in drawers or wardrobes, in shoes, behind baseboards, in thermostats...practically anywhere.

Pest control is near farking useless as they have become more and more resistant to sprays.  About the only thing you can do is drown them, burn them or dry them out.  They are FAR worse than lice or any other pest I can think of.

Took two years to get rid of them when we had them.  At least six visits from pest control, washing everything we owned.

That accomplished nothing. I too got rid of couches.  Three of them.  Got rid of box springs and mattresses.

Finally dried the bastards out by putting diatamaceous earth powder on practically everything.  That shiat is like tiny little razorblades to them.  Cuts them up and dries them out.


DE is a good idea. Works on ants as well. It's a lot cheaper to buy it at a pool supply store than from anywhere else.

04 Jan 2013 01:15 AM
sno man    [TotalFark]  

Kingly Weevil: My real question here is, How the f*ck do you afford ten couches before you can afford to leave your f*cking apartment?


winning question!

04 Jan 2013 01:26 AM
Dinjiin     

Kingly Weevil: My real question here is, How the f*ck do you afford ten couches before you can afford to leave your f*cking apartment?


Friends, family, thrift stores, Craigslist, curbside.

04 Jan 2013 01:45 AM
Lsherm    [TotalFark]  

simplicimus: AdolfOliverPanties: cretinbob: farking sanitation, how does it work?

Not at all on bedbugs is how it works.  These people do not have infestations because they lack cleanliness.  These motherfarkers can be as thin as a sheet of paper and can hide anywhere.  In electrical outlets, folds of any kind of furniture, behind paintings or pictures, in drawers or wardrobes, in shoes, behind baseboards, in thermostats...practically anywhere.

Pest control is near farking useless as they have become more and more resistant to sprays.  About the only thing you can do is drown them, burn them or dry them out.  They are FAR worse than lice or any other pest I can think of.

Took two years to get rid of them when we had them.  At least six visits from pest control, washing everything we owned.

That accomplished nothing. I too got rid of couches.  Three of them.  Got rid of box springs and mattresses.

Finally dried the bastards out by putting diatamaceous earth powder on practically everything.  That shiat is like tiny little razorblades to them.  Cuts them up and dries them out.

DE is a good idea. Works on ants as well. It's a lot cheaper to buy it at a pool supply store than from anywhere else.


It's pretty under a microscope, too:

img99.imageshack.usView Full Size

04 Jan 2013 01:53 AM
namatad    [TotalFark]  

Kingly Weevil: My real question here is, How the f*ck do you afford ten couches before you can afford to leave your f*cking apartment?


HOW can you be so stupid? You would figure after the first .... 2 or 3 couches that you would learn to sit on metal folding chairs UNTIL the damn bugs are GONE GONE GONE

04 Jan 2013 02:28 AM
namatad    [TotalFark]  

Philbb: My oldest daughter dealt with them at one point. The apartment management paid to have her apt baked three time. She had to pay for it the fourth time, but the exterminator told her if she found another bedbug within a (short period of time) they would come back for free. She found live bedbugs within 36 hours of having her apt treated the next few times. She threw away so many mattresses, box springs, couches, chairs and items of clothing that I lost track.

We/she thought that the problem was mostly under control when she moved out. By the time we got her stuff out to the trucks, half of her furniture was obviously infested.


SHUDDER
so is there an actual solution
other than leaving EVERYTHING that you own and starting over?

/SO FARKING glad that I dont have this problem
/WILL farkING KILL whoever brings this problem to my house
/no seriously, if you have bedbugs, WHY would you come to my house?
/stay the fark away from me until you are no longer unclean

04 Jan 2013 02:30 AM
Lsherm    [TotalFark]  

namatad: Kingly Weevil: My real question here is, How the f*ck do you afford ten couches before you can afford to leave your f*cking apartment?

HOW can you be so stupid? You would figure after the first .... 2 or 3 couches that you would learn to sit on metal folding chairs UNTIL the damn bugs are GONE GONE GONE


The thing about bedbugs - they'd just live inside the metal folding chairs.  They aren't particular to fabric - they're particular to blood.

04 Jan 2013 02:32 AM
hammettman     
The easiest way to get rid of bedbugs is to import some spiders. Oodles and oodles of farking spiders. Of course, that may present another problem when all is said and done.

04 Jan 2013 02:38 AM
HotWingAgenda    [TotalFark]  
When they get up to two hundred couches, these guys would like to have a word.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2vr4 Eh58I0

04 Jan 2013 02:51 AM
Farxist Marxist     
Farkin' frankenbugs. I'm moving to Australia, where the beasts kill you somewhat quickly ('cept those blue-ringed octopus, in which case it's not quick enough) rather than some bug that bleeds you white, won't get off the sofa, and can hide in the remote control.

04 Jan 2013 02:56 AM
Philbb    [TotalFark]  

namatad: Philbb: My oldest daughter dealt with them at one point. The apartment management paid to have her apt baked three time. She had to pay for it the fourth time, but the exterminator told her if she found another bedbug within a (short period of time) they would come back for free. She found live bedbugs within 36 hours of having her apt treated the next few times. She threw away so many mattresses, box springs, couches, chairs and items of clothing that I lost track.

We/she thought that the problem was mostly under control when she moved out. By the time we got her stuff out to the trucks, half of her furniture was obviously infested.

SHUDDER
so is there an actual solution
other than leaving EVERYTHING that you own and starting over?

/SO FARKING glad that I dont have this problem
/WILL farkING KILL whoever brings this problem to my house
/no seriously, if you have bedbugs, WHY would you come to my house?
/stay the fark away from me until you are no longer unclean


I really don't know if there is an effective solution. At one point it was believed that it was an occupational therapist that was showing up on a weekly basis to treat her middle child.

04 Jan 2013 02:59 AM
The_Sponge    [TotalFark]  

hammettman: The easiest way to get rid of bedbugs is to import some spiders. Oodles and oodles of farking spiders. Of course, that may present another problem when all is said and done.


We're talking about Arizona....do you really want black widows and tarantulas all over your apartment?  And then you have to bring in a bunch of gila monsters to get rid of the spiders, and then gorillas to get rid of the gila monsters.

04 Jan 2013 03:15 AM
steerforth     

Farxist Marxist: Farkin' frankenbugs. I'm moving to Australia, where the beasts kill you somewhat quickly ('cept those blue-ringed octopus, in which case it's not quick enough) rather than some bug that bleeds you white, won't get off the sofa, and can hide in the remote control.


Don't worry, we've got them here too.  http://www.abc.net.au/news/2011-02-10 /australia-facing-bedbug-invasio n /1938492

A friend of mine had them in her apartment in a well-to-do part of Sydney. In the end, she pretty much abandoned everything she owned, went slightly psycho and sat in a sauna for three hours (something about the heat killing the farkers as she thought they had got into her skin) and would only wear newly bought clothes. She then began to haunt non-bedbug-infested suburbs looking for a new place to stay, bug spray in hand. Poor girl is from London and last I heard she had returned, only to face the evil once more.

/And those bugs that bleed you white, won't get off the sofa and can hide in the remote control? They're known as men down here.

04 Jan 2013 03:28 AM
TommyymmoT    [TotalFark]  
Just a thought.
 What if you sealed the house the same way they do when it's bug bombed, or fumigated, and used Halon (which removes all the oxygen in the room, and is often used for fire suppression in sensitive areas like computer rooms, and archives) instead?
There would be no residue, and no poisons. You wouldn't even have to remove the food.

04 Jan 2013 03:42 AM
Plant Rights Activist     
Why would you throw them out!? Donate them to goodwill for the tax writeoff!

04 Jan 2013 03:46 AM
robohobo     
Macy's is delivering my new couch in the morning, so I'm getting a kick...

/no lice
//just needed a new couch
/leather and goose down

04 Jan 2013 03:48 AM
ladyfortuna     
i391.photobucket.comView Full Size


And if that doesn't work

i391.photobucket.comView Full Size

04 Jan 2013 03:49 AM
Ivo Shandor    [TotalFark]  

TommyymmoT: What if you sealed the house the same way they do when it's bug bombed, or fumigated, and used Halon (which removes all the oxygen in the room, and is often used for fire suppression in sensitive areas like computer rooms, and archives) instead?


These farkers can go for a year without feeding. I suspect they can also survive a short period of oxygen deprivation.

04 Jan 2013 03:53 AM
ladyfortuna     
People have been biatching about the snow. I say bring on the winter low temps. Freeze these farkers out (along with a host of other invasive bastards)

04 Jan 2013 03:59 AM
Uniquely Common     
Itchy just reading about this. I get swarmed by misquotes, fleas, chiggers every summer out hiking (with bug repellant on) ... I would literally die from blood loss if bedbugs ever infested my house.


/tastes oh so good

04 Jan 2013 04:01 AM
Lsherm    [TotalFark]  

TommyymmoT: Just a thought.
 What if you sealed the house the same way they do when it's bug bombed, or fumigated, and used Halon (which removes all the oxygen in the room, and is often used for fire suppression in sensitive areas like computer rooms, and archives) instead?
There would be no residue, and no poisons. You wouldn't even have to remove the food.


Might work, but Jesus Christ would it be expensive.  Halon also doesn't remove all oxygen in a room, just enough to put a fire out.  I imagine you'd have to pump a boatload of the stuff in for a while to kill the bugs, and it would have to penetrate all the little nooks and crannies they hide in.  I don't have figures, but I imagine Halon doesn't penetrate the inside of a mattress all that fast.

04 Jan 2013 04:02 AM
jtown     

Kingly Weevil: My real question here is, How the f*ck do you afford ten couches before you can afford to leave your f*cking apartment?


Probably found them on the street left for trash pickup. Because they were infested with bedbugs.

04 Jan 2013 04:03 AM
Mitch Mitchell     
Stop living in Arizona. It's good for no one. Not you, not me, etc., etc, etc... I'm tired of you desert dwelling peoples biatching.

04 Jan 2013 04:04 AM
Summoner101     

The_Sponge: hammettman: The easiest way to get rid of bedbugs is to import some spiders. Oodles and oodles of farking spiders. Of course, that may present another problem when all is said and done.

We're talking about Arizona....do you really want black widows and tarantulas all over your apartment?  And then you have to bring in a bunch of gila monsters to get rid of the spiders, and then gorillas to get rid of the gila monsters.


Unfortunately, Mesa doesn't have the cold winters to kill the gorillas.

04 Jan 2013 04:09 AM
Jim_Callahan     

AdolfOliverPanties: Pest control is near farking useless as they have become more and more resistant to sprays.  About the only thing you can do is drown them, burn them or dry them out.  They are FAR worse than lice or any other pest I can think of.

...

Finally dried the bastards out by putting diatamaceous earth powder on practically everything.  That shiat is like tiny little razorblades to them.  Cuts them up and dries them out.


They're not resistant to the pyrethrin derivatives used in most indoor pesticides... they're by and large completely immune to them. The diomataceous earth method has had some success, but the first and most effective thing to try is heat treatment, and that requires heating every internal volume in the building to in excess of 120 Fahrenheit uniformly, which is unfortunately flat-out impossible in many older buildings and even some newer ones.

The biggest problem is not even getting rid of them so much as the dormancy cycle of the eggs, if not heat-treated as above or sprayed directly with a dessicant (ethanol or methanol, usually, and I mean directly sprayed, you have to pull every baseboard and electric outlet cover in the house and any other crevice and spritz 'em) then they can stay dormant for as long as a year before hatching. Which means you sweep up your little circles of ethanol trench or sharp earth around the bedposts after sterilizing and a week later you're getting bitten again.

//Yeah, guess how I learned this one. Apartment management is a pain in the ass.

04 Jan 2013 04:13 AM
Mister Toast     

Mitch Mitchell: Stop living in Arizona. It's good for no one. Not you, not me, etc., etc, etc... I'm tired of you desert dwelling peoples biatching.


Just moved to California from Arizona. Had bedbugs while living there a few years ago, got to kill the nests around the house.

04 Jan 2013 04:16 AM
Jim_Callahan     

namatad:
SHUDDER
so is there an actual solution
other than leaving EVERYTHING that you own and starting over?


Again, 120 Fahrenheit+. Get an extermination company that actually specializes in bedbugs to give you a sealed bag with a heating unit in it, fry it for 4-8 hours. Generally you'll want the actual specialists involved to make sure it's heated uniformly, cold spots can harbor the eggs/bugs.

I know it's weird that the only really workable solution is almost literally "kill it with fire", but don't look at me, this is the actual result of industry research in the property and pest management industries.

04 Jan 2013 04:18 AM
namatad    [TotalFark]  

ladyfortuna: [i391.photobucket.com image 500x350]

And if that doesn't work

[i391.photobucket.com image 680x600]


TY
made me LOL

04 Jan 2013 04:19 AM
sexorcisst     
Sleep tight, farkers.

04 Jan 2013 04:22 AM
Oznog     
t0.gstatic.comView Full Size


We're gonna need a bigger couch.

04 Jan 2013 04:25 AM
spawn73     

namatad: Kingly Weevil: My real question here is, How the f*ck do you afford ten couches before you can afford to leave your f*cking apartment?

HOW can you be so stupid? You would figure after the first .... 2 or 3 couches that you would learn to sit on metal folding chairs UNTIL the damn bugs are GONE GONE GONE


So you'll have bedbugs in metal folding chair instead?

What would you accomplish other than sitting less comfortable. Well, maybe they'd be cheaper to replace constantly.

04 Jan 2013 04:26 AM
apoptotic     

ladyfortuna: People have been biatching about the snow. I say bring on the winter low temps. Freeze these farkers out (along with a host of other invasive bastards)


Considering it's been -20C or lower here for most of the last two months and I have to have my apartment prevention treated for the second time on Monday because the apartment above mine has bedbugs, I suspect cold temperatures outdoors don't play much of a role in whether you have bedbugs indoors.

04 Jan 2013 04:26 AM
pedrop357     

spawn73: namatad: Kingly Weevil: My real question here is, How the f*ck do you afford ten couches before you can afford to leave your f*cking apartment?

HOW can you be so stupid? You would figure after the first .... 2 or 3 couches that you would learn to sit on metal folding chairs UNTIL the damn bugs are GONE GONE GONE

So you'll have bedbugs in metal folding chair instead?

What would you accomplish other than sitting less comfortable. Well, maybe they'd be cheaper to replace constantly.


They are cheaper and easier to sterilize then a couch, so that could be one reason to go that route.
Aside from that, I imagine you could try to get used to sleeping on a cot that you can more easily clean daily and is cheaper and less of a pain to move in/out if it gets hopelessly infested.

04 Jan 2013 04:31 AM
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